Retardisimo

I have this weird habit of researching about stuffs that nobody in my age range has an impenetrable interest on. That's how useless I can get, actually. Anyways, I googled 'Dirty Sanchez' a while ago, hoping to get some proper information about the aforementioned term that is somewhat connected to what I saw a few weeks ago in a video link. And yes, it is a pornographic term that I have yet to elucidate.

Thanks to Wikipedia for the blurry and highly-delusive details. I learned a bit, really.

Dirty Sanchez is a sexual favor done by anyone who is exceptionally horny. A partner then puts feces above the upper lip of his/her lip, resembling a mustache, hence the el weirdo name. This act is connected to Coprophilia and Coprophagia, which is any sexual favor involving shit, and eating crap respectively (although I don't think ANY of this is respectable).

First of all, I cannot think of any reason why someone would actually eat his/her shit, or in more disgusting cases, eat the crap of others. What pleasure do you even get in eating dirt anyway? Yeah, I used to eat feces too, actually. But all of it happened when I was still a mindless kid, dammit. Even if Steve Jobs would give me the whole Cupertino just to eat a blob of his shit, I wouldn't do it for the world, or even for myself. I'd rather be eaten alive by African cannibals. At least I would satisfy those hungry tribes with my fat ass certainly not in any sexual way.

These people shall surely enjoy hell.

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I have bad news for those people who are long expecting me to be the new face of MyDeathSpace or SatanSpace or whatever hellish website you can think of aside from this trashy blog.

I'm leaving the bandwagon for hell (or death row, if you hate metaphors). There's just too many kids trying to be in the nicest line ever made by a group of posers. I mean, if they're committing suicide, then I'm gonna stay and live my ol' rotten life. I can't believe these people actually have valid reasons why they should die. And here I am, trying to figure out one good excuse for God to give me that waiver that will surely guarantee a package trip to heaven in my after life. Now that's non-conformity for you.

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For all of you who are addicted to House MD like me, I will spoil the hell out of you.

1. In the first episode, House will solve the medical mysteries by himself. If you can remember, House fired Chase, then Cameron abdicated as follows. And with that, his whole team is nowhere to be found in the medical institution where House is. Chase and Cameron took new jobs in Arizona, while Foreman also has a new job in New York. For all those bisexual aficionados for Wilson and House's love affair, don't worry. Wilson is still there.

2. In the second episode, House will then look for 3 new doctors who will be part of his new team. Unsurprisingly, he got 40 interviewees, hungry for some medical mumbo-jumbo with Dr, House himself. It's the whimsiest episode I've seen in the past 3 seasons. Or maybe I'm just so depressed, medical comedy is my only way out of manic depression.

Chase and blond Cameron are engaged. Not as cute as Chase alone.

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I can't wait to go back to school on Monday. This house is increasing my weight and making me all depressed about it at the same time. A sign that your belly is so abnormally big already is when you've noticed that no matter how long your shirt is, it will keep rolling up and consequently exposing your pot belly. Damn.

And since my nerdy ego kicked back 2 days ago, I've got nothing to do now. So yes, let's give the following lyrics some meaning.

I wanna put my fingers thru your hair
Wrap me up in your legs
And love you till your eyes roll back
I'm tryin to put you to bed, bed, bed
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
Then I'ma rock your body
Turn you over
Love is war
I'm your soldier
Touching you like it's our first time
I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed
I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

And if you've been living in your closet for the past few months (because I think even those AIDS victims in Africa enjoy every minute of their day with this addicting song. Jesus. Why do I keep hitting on those poor earthlings anyway? My email is on my profile, for those of you who want to bombard me with hate mails. Thank you, really. You guys are making me famous.), the title of this song is Bed, made famous by J Holiday.

If you will sing it, then you'll automatically get its evident meaning. But if you're half-Jesus and you've never heard of sensuality or whatever, the lyrics might give you an impression that it's written by an incestuous father for his innocent daughter. I mean, add 3 more creepy lines then voila! I now present you a disgusting sonnet. I'm sure Mr. Shakespeare will like it, really.

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me Baby Baby
You're so good to me Baby Baby

This song is awfully sex-driven. I mean, what else from the opposite male can make you immensely hot aside from his.....(*insert a green joke that only a nympho will surely understand here*)? But if you actually read between the lines of the whole song, it's good. If you're sexually active, that is.

Beep beep beep,
Ang sabi ng jeep (said the jeep)
Beep beep beep beep beep
Beep beep beep,
Ang sabi ng jeep (said the jeep)
Beep beep beep beep beep
Beep beep beep
Ang sabi ng jeep (said the jeep)
Beep beep beep beep beep

No wonder our country is nowhere near growth and development. I mean, look at our transportations. They're already whining, for Christ's sake! Oh come on, it's evident in the third and fourth line, same goes for the sixth and seventh. The jeep does not want any fucking diesel anymore. What it wants is change, obviously. Ha. And you thought you're an activist.

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That scholarship is not for me, nor I deserve any scholarship in the duration of my sucky life. Maybe in my graduate studies. But I doubt that God will give me another big shot scholarship...

Okay. Stop blabbing.