And Before Christmas Technically Ends...

I'm gonna post something that would make sense because I'm too happy to not to.


Anyways, I gotta keep this short, because I have to debug all of my browsers because all of them keeps crashing and crashing. It's spyware, I'm afraid. But what can be a solution to it? Even Mr. Norton can't seem to kill the bugs.

This is not really my problem. My dad called lately and told me that my MacBook already arrived and I just have to wait for him to arrive with it on Sunday. SUPER Bummer, I'm tellin 'ya. I won't get to spend much time with it anyway, because 2 days after that and I'm back to hellhole again.

This has got to be the warmest Christmas I've felt in 4 years. I mean, ever since dad scored himself a job in Poland, he wasn't there for us to celebrate the birth of Jesus. He just gets to arrive after Christmas, then off to work again. God, me, and the Grim knows why.

I considered it warm because somehow, I felt the joy of everyone. Like, even though Mom's gifts were a total prank, and the maid refused to open her gift because she seriously thought it was a bomb, all was happy. Everybody smilin', even our dog who was humped really hard by that little chihuahua/dark gremlin. Ahh, the wonders of Christmas.

Thank you for everybody who wished me and my family a Happy Christmas. Sorry if I wasn't able to wish you guys back. I didn't have load, and we went out for Christmas Eve. And my fever was a top hit at 41 degrees. I really thought I was gonna die today.

Well, it's not 26th yet. So if I die later, then what?

The Wonders of Google

After experimenting with Googles' amazing querie-finding ability, I just found out that someone wrote a song for me. Who would even thought that I'm human enough to have this..this song?

Lorainne
Lorainne
Lorainne
Lorainne
Lorainne

Your silhouette through half-closed curtains
Moves like flame, Lorainne I'm certain
No other boy could love you like I do
Lorainne, the pain I feel for you

Lorainne
Lorainne
Lorainne
Lorainne

Destiny has brought me up this tree to see
The beauty of the rest of me
Lorainne, until your pressed to meI'll never come down
I'd stop but I'm so dirty dirty

Lorainne
Lorainne
Lorainne
Lorainne

(source:http://www.thingsthatgopop.com/lyrics.php?lyrics_id=39)

HA! And you thought your name was popular.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't really intended for me. But hello! I'm probably the only Lorainne who spells her name in a weird way by doubling the 'n'. As you all know, the real spelling of my name is Lorraine. But whatever. Who cares anyway.

This is a song from a band called TTGP. I don't know a lot about them, but they create songs with such .... sense. I'll save it for that day when I'll blow up because of anger.

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I'm out.

at last,

Oh men. You don't know how happy I am that every school stuff is over temporarily. And yes, what I'm waiting for since my birthday is finally here. CHRISTMAS.

The exams were kinda ok, but some weren't like the 'friggin Computer exam. But anyways, I'm glad it's all over. And now I'm gonna go spend my Christmas vacation this week wrapping up gifts while watching Spanish telenovelas. HA. Fun fun fun.

Let's see my to-do list.

1. tell dad to not go back here on Christmas day. bummer shit.
2. PE Practical test (swing)
3. PE Practical Periodical test (l.a. walk and swing combined)
4. buy gifts for people
5. attend at least one Christmas party.
6. stop denying and questioning my own religion.
7. try to attend at least one Misa de Gallo.
8. go back to God.
9. clean the house.
10. buy a planner and plan my year ahead.

Huh. I think I can only do one thing from this list, which is to clean the house. But whatever. At least I get to do something.

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I think you get prizes when you're like, questioning your religion. I mean, these past weeks, I've been getting quite a load of things that I want, which I'm not really expecting.

But I really do wanna return to God. I'm missing him these days because of the stupid curiosity in me. I kept denying his presence even during the highest form of prayer, the mass. Since then, I stopped attending Sunday masses, praying to Him, praying the Rosary, praying everything. I thought that I can make it on my own without praying to Him, or even believing in Him.

I know this sounds soooooooo clichè or something, like it's some religious blah blah. But I kinda remembered what Ms. Alon told us last year. As someone who is entirely different from us in terms of stuffs we believe in, she was scared, as in scared of everything, because she has the knowledge that there is no God or someone who could protect her from bad things. I felt sorry for her, and now, I'm being redundant by being just like her. Oh men.

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I forgot how I used to love being in Toy Kingdom. My sister went there last Thursday to buy gifts for people and check out the Holiday hassle. And there never will be such joy compared to the feeling of being in a toy shop. I swear.

I don't remember the last time I went into a toy shop. As a partly grown-up person, I then considered gadgets as my toys. Instead of going into toy shops and stuffs like that, I go to Cyberzone or Digital Exchange. I know I should act like my age, but duh. That's like, too much.

Wow. No wonder everyone thinks I'm too shallow.

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I watched Real Women Have Curves again yesterday on HBO. I thing these are a series of signs that fat people like me should be contented with our bodies. Like what I heard on ETC last night. People were discriminating us fat people, but are they happy with their bodies? Nu-uh they're not. It's just like what this fashion editor person told on ETC. "I've never met a happy and thin woman in my whole life. There is completely no such thing."

I'm happy to be a fatso. Discriminate me all your life and I wouldn't cry to such thing. :)

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Ok. wait. He-Who-Should-Be-Named spotted me. And he told me I'm big. I told him he's also big to not ruin my repertoire. And THEN he asked for THAT. What a sweet Christmas I'm gonna have. REALLY soooo-weet.

there.

Hey, do you know it's 1 AM right now? haha. baliw na.

Eternal Happiness(Will Be Granted)

And now, I can finally write about things that had been happening to me these days.

First off, Immersion.

It was good, you know, like any other immersions. But ours made its way to significance. See, we were supposed to stay in the white house and enjoy the presence of cool air and the non-existence of mosquitoes and those goddamn rats. But the whole promise turned the other way around and we ended up staying in this convent which to me in that time was a convent for mosquitoes and rats. But now, you just can't measure how happy I am that we stayed there.

The first thing we did was to go to the sanitarium and visit these lepers who are already healed, but their families won't visit them or something. That thing we did, which was to make them happy, was probably the most enjoyable thing we did throughout the immersion for me. I was touched by their stories, and cursed silently their families who abandoned them.

Then, we went to the public school to teach the kids. And apparently, I was really amazed because the kids we handled(note: grade 4 kids) were really really smart-asses. I mean, even without the necessary things they have to bring to school, they really do know what the hell we are teaching them. I was shocked to pieces when one kid answered one mathematical question quickly. I mean, I can't even answer that these days because of all the sin's cos's and stupid tan's that's filling up everyone's brains.

Then we went to the pavillion, where there are lots of cool lolos who used to have leprosy, but were living there in the pavillion because their families won't accept them anymore because they think they can still get the disease in them. I know, ok? Dumbasses. I went talking to this lolo whom I've been obeserving since we got there because he kept scrubbing this sort of dirty face towel to his face, and he's just sitting in his bed, unlike those others who are singing their hearts out. As he was telling me his life story, he started to cry as he reminisces his dreams, and family, and how he still loves his family even if they don't visit or even remember him anymore. I cried to the part where he told me how much happiness I gave to him because I talked to him or something, because he's already sensing that he'll die soon. I promised him that I'll pray for him, and try to write to him on Christmas.

The next day was the most bummer for me. I didn't like the purok my partner and I was dumped on. I didn't like the people there because they kept teasing me. I thought before that they were at least nicer than anybody here in Manila, but no. They really did discriminated me and I hate hate hated it to pieces.

We went back to the convent at 3pm to practice for our cultural night, but we were bombarded by the news that a super typhoon is on its way that night and signal no. 2 is raised on Camarines Sur, where were. Actually, all of us already knew it before because our foster families told us that news already. Then one thing led to another, and the grown-ups decided we should leave at 10pm instead of 5 am of the next day to ensure safety to us, because duuh. We, like, can be stranded or something. We might even spend our Christmas there if we're so unlucky.

But as we get more further information about the storm, the more panics we get. As we were all watching the Bicol-ed version of Tv Patrol, it seemed that the storm really is a killer one, and they decided to cut our cultural night short and leave at 8 because the storm might get in our way earlier than we all expected.

As we walk our way to the social hall for our cultural night, I got so nervous that I gave my pack of pili nuts to a kid who was introduced to me by Agatha as her student. Not because I was the emcee or something, but because our trip might go the other way around. I'm not optimistic, you know. So I kept thinking that we could get killed or something because we would be travelling on super-typhoon filled night.

After the wasted cultural night, we hurried off to the washrooms for our own businesses. And, as I was about to climb my way inside the bus, a kid came to me and said: "Ate, isama nyo na po ako sa Maynila. Ayoko pa po mamatay". I was about to cry but then that would not really encourage the kid. He might even cry too if he saw the ugliness in me when I cry. So I just told him that he'll be okay and I'll be praying for him. Probably the last word I said to him was "Pakabait ka ha. Wag mong bibigyan ng problema mga magulang mo.", then I waved him goodbye and brushed the early tears off. I want to hug him, but he might suffocate or his bones might crush or something if I do. You guys know how big I am and how little the kid was. He's like mini me or something.

Even if I was criticizing my own religion for the past few days, I prayed the rosary whole-heartedly for the safety of our trip and those people we met in Sipocot. Thank God we arrived ahead of time and safely.

I woke up the next day to find out the storm was already in Camarines Sur and I was thinking about the kid again.

And I woke up again on Friday that there are already lots of people who got killed in the stupid typhoon. It really made me very sad as I realize that one of those who got killed might be the kid, or the members of the purok we went to. Oh, damn Reming.

And until now, I'm still worrying about them.

Thank you for the lepers and the students and the people there for teaching us that simple things in life are not only for free, but were also the only things that's keeping us happy. We might not now it, but we're forgetting that there is still that sadness amidst the things we have that poor people don't have. So let's all try to be simple, because if we all try to climb that stair of power, we wouldn't really achieve eternal happiness.

I'm soo grateful that I joined that immersion. Now I am appreciating my snatch-unworthy phone and my fake stuffs to pieces.

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Second thing, Gruesome week.

Oh men. This week was more stressful than September last year. Stupid projects and editorials were to be passed on a same day basis, and they were blaming our immersion for it. Tss.

I never hated Geometry as much as I did yesterday. I never hated ANY SUBJECT for that matter as much as I did this week. And I am very thankful to O.L. of Immaculate Concepcion for celebrating her feast day today. We really do deserve an academic break.

And next week, we would be squeezing our brains again for the quarterly exams. And after that, happiness for me. Total H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S.


I gotta run. My fever's killing me.

NOTE: Sorry if the reflex tester on the right side ain't working in IE. Try Netscape or Firefox.

*angry*

I'm gonna go write about our immersion WHEN IE 
STARTS NOT CRASHING AROUND MY PC. It's like everytime 
I'm in the 
mood to write about something, 
it crashes like crazy. 
So sorry for those who are waiting for "cheesemax's" about 
our not-so-normal immersion. Go sue Bill Gates instead.

I can't write now, because I'm using Opera as my current 
browser. 
And with 
Opera, as you can see, alignment ain't good. 
I have to hit Enter everytime I reach 
the peak of the right side because it would overlap 
my whole layout, and it's not nice. 
So there. Sorry.