This one's from an All-American Rejects song, and it's pretty bothering. Because I can relate to it. Because it's absolutely applicable to what I'm feeling right now. Absolutely. Seriously. Completely. Lovely.
'Straightjacket Feeling', the song which I'm evidently talking about, opened my eyes about the life I have to live. About the other life, which I actually have to take seriously. The life God gave me to enjoy, and to not let it sink in burdensome whatnots.
I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STONE-HEARTED ABOUT TOPICS LIKE THIS, but it's been a long time since I've written something about what I REALLY feel, not about what I think. Thinking and feeling are two things that are completely different.
I knew that I'm really over with him the moment I reflected upon the song, and try to think about the treasured memories that we shared while we were enjoying our summer love. For the first time ever, I didn't think of those moments as something smittening; the type that would really really make those butterflies fly in my big stomach.
Those memories are really priceless, I know. But the moment they darted away, I got a better view of things. Ergo, HE made me realize that I don't need him, or a man, for that matter, in my life. I can actually live with Philia alone.
Yesterday was hell
But Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you would be
That face is tearing holes in me again
I am, after all, an introvert. Why would I need someone who'll just hurt me? In fact, why would I need ANYBODY /SOMEONE aside from my guiding force, which are my friends? I'm still young, and still fat and big. When college time comes, my fat would surely shed off. I'll be so beautiful that they will change the meaning of beautiful in the dictionary to 'see LORAINNE'. Ha. Talk about pride. I wish I didn't have lots of it, like thyroxine.
This will be the last time I'll talk about him or whatsoever. No, really. I've had enough, and I know blog-hoppers hate it when the blog they're reading about is as hardcore as EMO. I am one myself.
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I was reading this very good and inspiring news about Roy Hibbert choosing Georgetown over a million-dollar(or so I think it is) basketball contract a while ago. It really made me think twice for basketball players in giving them bad-ass judgmentals.
If I was in his place, I would also choose Georgetown over what seems to be a lottery win. Heck, I would give up EVERYTHING for a fine education, wherein I can be proud that I sacrificed a lot of things just to make my brain fat. Now that my parents would like.
The point is, I'm still not ready for college. And HA it seems very laughable right now because what I was talking about a while ago is not relevant in any other way possible from my dilemma right now.
Which is weird, because I don't know why I'm posting 2 days in a row when I have a periscope and a lab report due after the Periodical Exams and UPCAT, which is averagely 14 days from now. I'm tensing myself. I'm finding it very bad.
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Have you guys ever thought about something that makes you stand out? Well, I always would. I know ipso facto that my obesity and pubic hairs in my head is physically making extraordinary. And yeah, that's bad answer, I know.
[As of this post, Fr. Bossi had been released. THANK GOD]
Hmm, but what about mentally? Or socially? Or emotionally? Or any other profused adverbs in the dictionary? And this is the part where I would realize that I'm purely average. Nothing is making my perspectives stand out. I guess cynicism died a week ago.
I'm very general.
But when you think about it, what benefits does an extraordinary person gets anyway? Aren't they treated the same way as we average/common people are?
It's very mussy.
I can't believe I'm thinking about a very bashful and selfish topic AGAIN.
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I got that extra five points in our quiz for Advanced Algebra. After seeing Ms. Sumo's answer notes, I told Patti that my answer was, indeed, correct. It was funny and amazing and boastful at the same time. In fact, after hearing what I said to Patti, Jacque said something that actually boggled my mind for the whole afternoon. It is, until now.
What I Think Jacque said:
"Lorainne, anu ba yan! Nanonood ka pa ba ng TV? Wala ka na nga atang social life eh!"
And GAH. I hate it when people are right about things. I mean, she's right! If ever I would turn the television on, I'll just watch a news program from a local channel, then turn it off to do my schoolworks.
For the social life part, I dunno. It only exists when I'm in school. I don't have neighborhood friends. Oh wait. I actually do have friends within my vicinity, but they live too far, the kind that you have to ride a tricycle or something.
Do I need to R-E-L-A-X? I guess not. Now's not the right time.
But, what time is?
If I was in his place, I would also choose Georgetown over what seems to be a lottery win. Heck, I would give up EVERYTHING for a fine education, wherein I can be proud that I sacrificed a lot of things just to make my brain fat. Now that my parents would like.
The point is, I'm still not ready for college. And HA it seems very laughable right now because what I was talking about a while ago is not relevant in any other way possible from my dilemma right now.
Which is weird, because I don't know why I'm posting 2 days in a row when I have a periscope and a lab report due after the Periodical Exams and UPCAT, which is averagely 14 days from now. I'm tensing myself. I'm finding it very bad.
---------------------
Have you guys ever thought about something that makes you stand out? Well, I always would. I know ipso facto that my obesity and pubic hairs in my head is physically making extraordinary. And yeah, that's bad answer, I know.
[As of this post, Fr. Bossi had been released. THANK GOD]
Hmm, but what about mentally? Or socially? Or emotionally? Or any other profused adverbs in the dictionary? And this is the part where I would realize that I'm purely average. Nothing is making my perspectives stand out. I guess cynicism died a week ago.
I'm very general.
But when you think about it, what benefits does an extraordinary person gets anyway? Aren't they treated the same way as we average/common people are?
It's very mussy.
I can't believe I'm thinking about a very bashful and selfish topic AGAIN.
-----------------------
I got that extra five points in our quiz for Advanced Algebra. After seeing Ms. Sumo's answer notes, I told Patti that my answer was, indeed, correct. It was funny and amazing and boastful at the same time. In fact, after hearing what I said to Patti, Jacque said something that actually boggled my mind for the whole afternoon. It is, until now.
What I Think Jacque said:
"Lorainne, anu ba yan! Nanonood ka pa ba ng TV? Wala ka na nga atang social life eh!"
And GAH. I hate it when people are right about things. I mean, she's right! If ever I would turn the television on, I'll just watch a news program from a local channel, then turn it off to do my schoolworks.
For the social life part, I dunno. It only exists when I'm in school. I don't have neighborhood friends. Oh wait. I actually do have friends within my vicinity, but they live too far, the kind that you have to ride a tricycle or something.
Do I need to R-E-L-A-X? I guess not. Now's not the right time.
But, what time is?
1 comment:
try this on...straightjacket feeling..so maybe I won't be alone..
take back now, my life you're stealing. :(
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