Realizations

I can't believe my own body is doing this all to me. SRSLY. I haven't had any normal sleep for the past few weeks and I can't blame anyone nor anything except my body, which have been acting kinda weird ever since I started sniffing friggin steroids again. It's been three years since I stopped inflating my body with anti-asthma steroids and from then on, I've been living like a martyr. And since martyrdom is something I do not, in any way, want to practice, I threw my useless inhaler away and snatched my brother's purple diskus to finally give my dying lungs a break.

Aside from my shoulders getting abnormally huge and the unrelenting lethargy, the steroids have been giving out so much benefits that I used to only wish of. Like my lungs drifting off to heaven, or the cool stance I wasn't able to show for three years because of my inhaler. Damn that inhaler.

So, yeah. I went to school half-asleep today. My eyes were so heavy that I slept for quite a moment while I was on the escalator connecting the platform of the train to the second floor of the station. I was drifting off in little naps while waiting for our professor, and I also dozed off in the train on my way home. I just don't get all of this sleepy bullshit. I can easily fall asleep when I'm on the move, and I can't sleep when I'm already lying on my bed. How weird is that?

Conclusively, I just wish that Sandman would just get his act together and quit fooling around. It's not summer time, for Christ's sake. I have two plates and a calculus quiz to get through, and surely enough, I can't manage to just fall asleep whenever and wherever I want to.

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I realized so many things after attending my friend's party last Thursday. One of which is that I don't need to transfer to UP because my friends from other colleges/universities in the party are also having the same manic depression this college thing is giving us all. Weeks ago, I was really sure that I'm gonna dump my current school over another school because it's making me
regret about my choices and stuff. I already reached that point where I was finding various papers that I need in order to leave La Salle and go for UP already.

And then, my high school friends shared the same sentiments about their respective college lives. Suddenly, I wasn't alone anymore.

It all just hit me like a big rock; you can't always have what you want, and leave something that's already good in return. Besides all of it being so stupid, it's just telling all of ye that I'm as immature as those people I'm criticizing because of their callowness. I don't really want to end up as a hypocrite here.

I'm not moving. And even if it takes me a millenium to be contented to where I'm in already, I'll go through it all. Except of course when my dad suddenly runs out of moolah and we're dead meat. When that time comes, y'all should expect me in the streets of Taft Avenue, snatching off your belongings.

HA.

Enough of this drama. I have to study for my calculus quiz.