Forgive My Turbulence

I find it funny and weird that amidst the superlative number of really really REALLY cute guys that tickles my fancy, I'd still go back to my obsession over this one boy that I still love. It's like those cute boys are just merely fascinating walking paintings that I can't help gushing on like a foolish fan girl in a boy band concert, nothing more and nothing less. But this boy that I truly hunger for with all my heart? No one can ever match up to that. Well, not that it matters or anything.

This certain blockmate amazes me, really. Everytime I'm with him, he would point to me a girl he finds absolutely hot and pretty, and would make this futile yet funny effort to deliver a "cute guy" stance for that girl to see. At first, I was pretty much startled because I didn't know that boys like hot girls a lot. See, I didn't get to experience a lot of fun puberty moments with boys because I went to a high school with people who wear panties under checkered skirts, so this all was just a new thing for me. In the long run, I got so used to their checking out activities that it would now surprise me if they won't acknowledge some girl's hotness right in front of me.

But behind it all, he's wallowing in sorrow because of this one girl he truly loves. As it is slowly turning out, he's been making this unmatched effort to make the girl reciprocate his deep affection for her since their high school days. It's been that long. And for reasons unknown, they cannot reach that serious relationship point. I won't feel really sad about it if what he is feeling is just mere infatuation. But almost five years of dire devotion to somebody (who isn't GOD) is really something else deeper. That's why I'm pretty much impressed at his vigor.

I'm not being all pre-valentina here by elucidating feelings and whatnot. It's just that sometimes, the best way to get over something is to simply let it out loud. People are tired of hearing me profess my love to this one person, because everybody knows that it's already over, and what I'm feeling is just a ball of shrapnels of that infatuation bomb that exploded almost a year ago already. But I still beg to disagree. There are so many cute boys in school, yet he's still my favorite viand.

Because at the end of the day, you will still return to that one person you love, even if God showers you with a truckload of beautiful people. Sure, they're good to the eyes and to some private parts at times. But that person you care for so much? He/She's good for everything, at the very least.

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Yeah. Finally. A friggin sign.

Yesterday while I was getting off the FX taxi at SM North, my knees weakened and my arms suddenly became numb. I thought that this abrupt physical torture was just all because of the fact that I skipped breakfast because I woke up late again for fucking community service. Mom offered to drive through McDonald's for some quick breakfast, but I declined after seeing that it's already 7:00AM and I'm still in Pasig City. So yeah, after my knees and arms, my stomach suddenly stabbed me with this tormenting pain. I hastily changed my clothes and hurried off to Taco Bell to grab lunch before meeting up with people I'm supposed to watch Madagascar 2 with. I thought that maybe half of the Crunchwrap would easily sweep off the pain, but NO. I didn't finish my food for I was too agonized, and I limped my way to the cinema.

I didn't really get to enjoy the film because of my stomach bitching around. I swore that if this won't stop till Monday, I'll dig it up on my own and throw it to our noisy neighbor. Enjoy my rotten stomach, you boisterous son of a bitch.

Later that night, I thought of reasons as to why my stomach is aching like hell. Skipping breakfast? No. Asthma? Obviously, no. Food poisoning? I've eaten so many junk in my life that my body's already immune to toxics.

Coke?

OH YES.

I've been drinking Coke every single day of the previous week and the previous week of that week and the previous week of that week and the previous week of that week and the previous...

To cut the shit short, I've been drinking non-stop for quite a month now.

I remember last last Thursday when I went to Charlene's party with my stomach grumbling because I haven't eaten anything. The first thing I grabbed was a bottle of beer, and expectedly, I gulped it all down. My stomach punched me to death. (And no, this one's not really connected to anything I've said about the Coke thing.)

I've been waiting for a sign to check myself in at Coke rehab(not that it exists or anything.) for the longest time, and now that I have to restrain my throat from this soda, I'm gonna discipline my ass.

Wish me luck.

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