Saturday, June 30, 2007

Rigorous?

Yes. This week has been very rigorous. And I'm SURE as hell it wasn't fun as any fun thing would be.

First off, GOOD NEWS:

-I'm getting some good motivation to study by avoiding love.

-Yours truly was voted(yet not appointed. But still.) Environment-Friendly Commitee chair. Isn't it a little bit cynical and wrong? For Christ's sake I can't even clean my own school bag, what more can you expect from me for the whole classroom?

-Diaries were handed out lately. I like the new diary. Its design is pretty cool compared to those old chunky ones I used to have for the past 3 years of my stay in high school. The back part is the disgusting part, I guess. They should've placed a smiling picture of our principal instead. Now THAT I would like.

-I already have an admission form for Ateneo. Wait, isn't this a a vey very very bad news for a blue eagle-hater like me? I dunno. But ever since I thought about the well-off idea of having to move out of this stinky house of my family and go live on my own on a condominium in Katipunan, I kinda took consideration for that hell of a university. I want to live on my own already, 'nuff said.

And now, the BAD NEWS:

-I'm an officer. So that actually means responsibility, which I am indisputably lacking.

-I'm CROAKING! This is not bad. This is WORST.

-I don't know what the word LOVE means.

-I'm getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger every single day. God, school days suck like hell. I'm better off resting my butt in my room and just staring at a blank space rather than having to suffer the consequences of eating canteen food because my mind is terribly hungry.

-My mom's pregnant.

-Dad is allowing me to move out only after my 1st year in college. Ugh.

-All of a sudden, functions in Math 4 made me realize that I'm a hardcore dumbass when it comes to math. That means, I can't consequently take up Computer Engineering, or ECE, or any other engineering courses.

And do you know what course is my primary choice in Ateneo?

BS Applied Physics w/ Applied Computer Systems.

Disgusting, I know. But I like Physics, and I like computers. So why not taste 'em both?

BUT IT'S AN HONORS PROGRAM. That automatically means that I can't get in that course unless I'm in the Top 15% of those people who would pass the ACET, which seems pretty impossible.

So my secondary choice is BS Computer Engineering with Physics. Whatever.

--------------

I'm loving my elective.

By the way, it's Mandarin.

Xie Xie!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Well, What's New?

I'm bored with school. (What's new?)
School is very tiring. (What's new?)
School is very stressful. (What's new?)
School is making my eyes sore. (What's new?)

SCHOOL IS DRIVING ME INSANEEE. (What's new?)

I evidently can make a song out of this one. But guess what? School is bothering me to the Petronas Twin Towers level, so I'm tad too null-ified to go and make a tune.

Anyways, this week was a level easier than the 1st week. I found it really weird, because I expected my senior nights to be restless with tons of assignments and projects bothering me. Turns out that I can relax after all. It's just me exaggerating all over again.

We had review classes lately at school. Honestly, nothing will ever beat Expert Guides, because they know what the hell is included in the test. But it's forgivable at the most.

------------------

Ok. Pictures. Pictures. Pictures.

Let's go see some pictures.


My el-cool notebooks



My personal favorite. It's my CL notebook, by the way.


My Filipino Notebook. Ah, it speaks too much.

I'm finding it very awkward that I'm being optimistic. Ever since I bawled like a cow when I found out my rank out of the whole batch, I just bade goodbye to my sarcastic and pessimistic personality, and welcomed my inner Pilosopo Tasyo.

Because it turns out that I'm JUST pretending to be smart after all. What the hell is the difference anyway? Pretending and being smart just comes in one place, as I can see it.

Ah, I get it.

Being smart would very much bring you into the higher part of the rankings, while pretending to be smart would drive the sane out of you by placing you on the average mark.

Tch. Whatever. I'm tired of thinking about this all over again.


Sunday, June 17, 2007

Slug and Sloth


The sluggish situation had just gotten worse.

I don't know how I did it, but I'm really sure it's just the ultimate effect of constantly refusing to take Mac to any Apple Center. Yes, remember that post about my laptop being amusingly dead and all? Well, I haven't done anything to make it any better since.

This has gotten really really sickening, at the most. All I would want to say is that I'm refusing to do responsible things for my gadgets like this for my own good. I don't know, but I'm really feeling that if taking it to an Apple Service Center now would make a sort-of wrong impact on my life.

What's worse? THIS ONE IS.

Now I really have to pass all the universities I would apply into. And for breaking the last record, I would apply to Ateneo just for fun. You know, just so I can say that I also tried our for that stereotyped-in-a-negative-way school.

------------------

Honestly, I still have the breath of summer. I'm not feeling that back-to-school feeling, even if it'll be my last 4th day in school already on Monday. I'm not looking forward to any school-related thing except for graduation, which would ergo happen next year. 9 more months in hell, Lorainne. Just go crawl your way through it.

Let's see now. I have an IP proposal for Physics that is due on Tuesday, Filipino homework about the 1st five chapters of El Filibusterismo, Math homework about Domain and Ranges of a function. I have to study for Economics and Physics. I have to be excited for my surprise elective which I would finally know on Monday.

Tha latter part I obviously like. The first two? I wouldn't mind if ANYONE would want to do it. Heh. How could I refuse? It's like someone would do it or nothing.

-----------------------

Our date was merely postponed lately.

I don't know how to react. Would I be, uhm, mad? or sad? or cynically happy?

See, I sacrificed reading a chapter about the speed of light in Physics just for that date. I sacrificed talking to dad for the rest of the afternoon just for that date. I actually sacrificed A LOT of things just for that date.

And I decisively didn't mind all those sacrifices being broken for something that was postponed in the end.

What I really did feel was embitterment. Not for him, but for me. I kinda hated myself for anticipating something that has a higher possibility of being adjourned, rather than actually supervening.

I feel passably bad. It's axiomatic that it's feasibly MY fault.

Wait..

is it legitimately me?

I'm mussed up.

------------------

An old friend from my old school has been reading this filth long enough for me to find it out.

He then asked if I ever fancied on being a writer and the like. And you know what? I'm going to retell this fervent story all over again.

When I entered a new school for the next educational chapter of my life, my mind seemed to drift philosophically. Not just drifting, but really digging deeper into things that are just concerned with morality per se. I would dwell on something that I would feel pragmatic on. And so, I started my high school life with being a writer as my primary ambition in life.

In a more skeptic way, I found love on expressing myself through this blog and my external journal, which I actually lost in Baguio or somewhere that's not within my vicinity.

I even enjoyed it more when sir John, my English teacher during my freshmen year, told me that he liked my essays because they were all pretty expressive. Heh. You betcha.

Then came sophomore year. I was more than excited to take up Journalism, because that's where my passion undoubtedly lies.

And that's where I lost it. I disliked Journalism not only because of my teacher, but because of it's highly disreputable look in today's society, and the government is lessening journalistic rights little by little each day. Furthermore, by the look of it, disliking Journalism lead me to look for another passion, because I've carved that outlook in my brain.

I thought I definitely annihilated my dream, but in the 1st quarter of my junior year, I actually considered signing up for the school paper. But uh, I developed a very bad mentality that only smart-asses are the only ones deserving to write for the 2nd Best Campus Newspaper in the country. And by the look of it, I seem to be right all along.

Which makes me now, just a blogger. Not a writer, and not wanting nor esteeming to be one.

And please, just go make me a full-pledged computer engineer instead.

Besides, wannabe-writers don't make hardcore grammatical and vocab errors as hardcore-ly as I do.

On the other confusing side, this quote is making me reconsider that passion.

It is perfectly okay to write garbage--as long as you edit brilliantly.
- C. J. Cherryh
You can say that again.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Every Single Day Counts

That's right, Seniors. Every single day counts for us. Ha. It seems really relatively funny for me, to like, you know, go and celebrate each day as my last nth day or something. But as I realized it lately as Charlene and I were talking about it on our way back to our classroom, it really has to be that sentimental after all. IT'S MY LAST YEAR IN THAT HELLHOLE ALL ALONG!

I don't know why I'm making a big deal out of us seniors being a couple of months away from entering college.

Heh. Maybe it really IS a big deal.

---------------

It's 11:51PM on my laptop's clock right now. And yeah, I still have school to antagonize my burdens and sorrows in this world tomorrow.

Does posting on your blog on a late school night make me an irresponsible student? I guess. But I don't know why I can't sleep. I mean, I was extremely drowsy the whole day, but after I relentlessly did a load of homeworks(make that a TON), I was hyperactive again. Am I missing something? Oh yeah, relaxation. Damn it!

School started in a giddy-goody manner. Let me give you a hard low-down on this year's newest problems.

PHYSICS - I kinda over-did Physics during my review classes last summer. So as to say, I was able to develop this likeness in this subject for some oblivious reasons.

ECONOMICS - Unlike my love, I don't really like money all that much. As a first impression to the subject, I taunted the fact that it's all about money and the like. So, for now, I think I won't like this one oh-so much.

RESEARCH - Ah, yes. The range of Statistics as a domain. Um. I hate Statistics. I don't get the point of studying it. But oh well, I'm thinking this one would be a bit easier on the long run. But on the finish line, let us all be damned by the curse that would fall upon as all by a witch called THESIS.

MATH 4 - Math. Math. Math. What more can I ask for, again? Oh yes. Math. This year's math is just advanced algebra, so I'm expecting to get a hook of it on a quick basis. Oh men. Can we just have Geometrigonometry instead? Everytime I think of Algebra, I would be reminded of Permutations and Combinations, which I truly hate to my deepest gut.

FILIPINO - I. HATE. IT. 2nd day of school, and our national hero already bombarded us with a truckload of burdens. Wait, isn't that the same as unmerciful killing? Shame on you.

ENGLISH - Now this one I likey! Looks like we would be reading a lot of cool lit's this year. Ha. I can't wait for 3rd quarter, when we would all finally discuss Dante Alighieri's Inferno, Purgatorio and Paradiso. I can't wait for the REAL Divine Comedy per se, actually. I'm acting all librarian-y right now, minus the consequent shh-ing, and the nerdy look.

CL - No comment. Tres bien.

Looks like we're all going to have a HELL of a last year after all. Heh. Sardonically, we really ARE going to enjoy it after all, minus the IP's, projects, shadow plays, unannounced quizzes, and oral defenses.

I can't wait for the intramurals. Seriously.

----------------------


"Hi, I'm Lorainne. You can call me Oyen, or Hoy, because everybody actually calls me that except for those people who don't actucally know me. I'm an introvert."

Can you believe I mumbled these words out on my first day? On. My. First. Day. Big deal. Now everyone would think I really am someone who can't abide by rules unimplemented by her peeps.

Friday, June 08, 2007

You Can't Find Nothing At All, If There Was Nothing There All Along

That Death Cab for Cutie song is getting on my nerves. Why? Simply because it's right for one thing or another, but I'm too moo-ified to tell anyone about it. Sorry Bloggy.

That last post is the most disgusting thing I've ever written about. But it makes me wonder why I don't want to delete it.

Maybe it's true love.

------------------------

Okay. It's official. I'm in Room 2 this year. I'm very delighted to know that for my last year in that helluva stinky school, they chose to complete MY room pattern. See, when I was in 1st year, I was in Room 2. Second to Third was reflected on Room 6. And now, room 2. That's a 2-6-6-2 to you.

It could've been really cool if I'm in room 6 again. You know, with the 6-6-6 ala devil pattern. That would've been so great.

Moreover, I was so happy when Charlene told me that she's also in room 2. And oh, God. You don't know how much being classmates with her means to me. She's a really really really REALLY true friend whom I've been through the thickness and thinness of high school life. And I'm more than proud to say say that.

I can now say that I'm really ready to face my last high school year.

---------------------





What Kind of Geek are You?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Your IQ is very high
You are a computer geek
Your strength is you actually have social skills
Your weakness is caffine
You think normal people are interesting
Normal people think that you are weird
This cool quiz by owlsamantha - Taken 279426 Times.
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes
How accurate is this quiz again? What if there's another Lorainne who's probably living in Africa or some place else who's birthday is ALSO on May 20? That would've been SO weird.


There's nothing much that's happening on my life right now. So sorry if that's all that I could narrate out of my squishy brain.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Smart in Utopia, Not Here

Guess who's terribly bored and refuses to study her modules.

You guessed right, oh bloggy. Everyone is. But what makes me different among the throng of lazy-asses is that the only thing that I've been up to since review classes ended 4 sagas ago is,

BLOG HOPPING.

GAH. It gives me much relief that my blog isn't hopped by someone as bored and repulsive as me. On the other hand, I feel sorry for those people whose blogs I have been bombarding for the last 48 hours. Well, of course I mean that in a sardonic way. How the hell am I going to feel sorry towards them after giving me a might schmighty conclusion that I am, after all, a pretentious dumb-ass?

My ego went down like, 5 minutes ago, after reading a batchmate's blog. She was worried about her college application, because she haven't been an academic awardee for a damn while. Pfft. I haven't been an academic awardee since I entered St. Paul Pasig. Mind you, I hate that school. And you don't know how happy I am that my stay there's going to end next year. OH GIIDDY.

I'm pretty sad that I didn't live up my promise 8 years ago for my parents. I told them that I would try hard to graduate with flying colors come high school graduation, and I would make them proud by making them hang that medal on my long neck. Of course I didn't know by then that I would transfer to that jungley hobbley fuh-lirtyly school, and that high school life would be this hard and happy at the same time. So much for kiddo promises. They won't live anything except getting nailed on a slimey substance.

--------------------

I finished reading Charmed Thirds last night.

It was good for the latter part, but for the first few seasons of Jessica Darling, I sure do expected more from Megan McCafferty. So for anyone who's reading the book, spoilers would be flying all around as you scroll down.

Second Helpings ended on Jessica Darling's mediocre-filled salutatory speech. See, Jessica Darling and me have so much in common, but differs on one thing. Jessica Darling has a 3.50-something GPA, while I'm probably a lot accuracy's and sensitivity's lower. I'm afraid my GPA's not even on the 3-point-something mark. And that's why my ego just went down, down, and down under my foot, and waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down under the ocean's floor. And now, I sure do can't find it anywhere.

Jessica Darling was really THAT smart ENOUGH to get accepted into Columbia University. Oh Columbia? Now that's what I call a tuh-rue university. Why? Well, it's JUST an Ivy, one of those premier and nicety smarty-pantsy schools I'm very much itching to go to.

This is just a wildcard, but for those of you who is concerned to Jessica's 3 lovers, the 3 schmucks went to college. Scotty went into a college that's known for parties, and he was benched all playing season. Len went to Cornell for premed. Marcus went into some Buddhist university called Gakkai College, by which he have been learning philosophies all throughout.

The reason why I didn't enjoy the book that much is because Jessica's all-grown up now. No more innocent girl's wet panties, if you solely know what I mean metaphorically. She's so....sex-driven. Now that's a teaser.

But at the middle part, Jessica and Marcus broke up because Jessica cheated on him by humping a Republican, who would later on commit suicide because of depression. Marcus, being his own religious-afficionado, didn't get mad to Jessica. Instead, he went through this phase wherein he didn't talk to Jessica for 2 years, and went to this-get this-an even more self-deepening college in a desert.

And I would stop telling the whole story again because this is not a book club member's blog.

If you think you're tired of Gossip Girls, or too shallow to read Jodi Picoult's or Jane Austen's novels, just go read this one. It's worth a read, if you would read the latter part.

----------------

There is this one thing that I learned in that book.

Waiting makes you realize your mistakes. Or what you're missing. Or what you need for something.

Heh. I should've chosen to major in Philosophy instead.

My wisdom is my intelligence.

Alle-loo, Alle-loo.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Hey Jealousy

So maybe it would be tad to selfish for my part to not share my upcat and acet mock exams results to you guys. So, here goes nothing.

For the UPCAT - 68%
For the ACET - 70%

Well, that's the besterestest best best that I can only reach. I know it sounds oh-so cliche, but I GAVE UP EVERYTHING, time included of course, for those 2 gruelling mock exams. But that's the highest score my brain can really do offer.

But please. Just please do pray for me. I'm really THAT desperate to get into the largest and niftiest state university in the country right now. Why?

-I don't want my parents too spend THAT much just for my college education. I know college education is the climax of everything, but that doesn't mean that I have to make my parents financially problematic for the rest of my college years.

-University of the Philippines, Diliman. How cool is that? You would amaze people in some way or another just by saying that you study here. Whatever your course may be.

-I seriously don't have anything against this school. Really. Really.

-If I'm Jessica Darling, then this must be my Columbia. But the difference is that UP-Diliman is a million dollars cheaper than that Ivy. UP-Diliman can be an Ivy too, I think.

-This is the most neutral school I've ever seen. NEUTRAL, at that whole students-protesting-about-the-corrupt-government thing. It's exceptionally neutral in a way that it's neither for rich or for poor ones. It's for SMART ones. (Safe answer.)

Well, I'm doing the whole kinakarir thing now. Studying my ass off each day is the new cool thing to do as your last summer resort.

--------------------------

queeniequeeninie: look eto lang naman yan eh. ikaw parin ang mag dedecide. ikaw parin ang magiisip and all. pero for me feeling ko kase natatakot ka lang mag try bumigay sa isang bagay na hindi ineexpect ng mga tao sayo.. yung tipong "weh? ikaw? may date?" something na di usual eh ayaw mong subukan

This is really what I needed all along. A smack in the head by a really really really true friend who knows me more than I know myself.

The question is, why the hell am I scared anyway to try things that people aren't accustomed in seeing me doing?

Like dating and loving someone, for example.

Get this. I made a list of stupid-yet-true things I badly want to do because I'm afraid of people's reaction.

WHICH I'M NOT GOING TO TELL EVERYBODY.

Well, falling in love is one of those things. I shouldn't be doing so because I'm known to be heartless monster. But GAH. Just look at me now. It's McDreamy all over the place.

Why is Charlene ALWAYS right?

And do we ALL have that exceptional right to judge others?

I'm a hardcore hypocrite.

-----------------

Yesterday was a busy day. I can tell by the cutesy-pantsy experiences I had. First off, accomplishment of the UPCAT form.

I was pissed off when I knew that I have to pay to a bank just for that entrance exam form. I mean, can't we just pay there at the school? It'll all just come in one place anyway.

To save off commuting time and money, I went with my mom and sister since they'll be also going out anyway. They have to go to La Salle, I have to go to a LandBank or PNB branch. We have to hurry up, because Mom's car was restricted on Fridays, because of the number coding scheme implemented by MMDA. And so, as we were in Edsa, at that big road in front of Galleria, Mom was driving really fast because she didn't want to get caught by the very vicious crocs at the big intersection. But ha. We did get caught anyway. If you want to know why, you can personally ask me. The whole thing was funny and scary at the same time.

Mom was ballistic when she found out that the offices at LSGH won't be back on business until lunch time's over, which is 1 PM. She became more ballistic when I reminded her that I need to go to the bank. And as so, she dropped me off to that little LandBank branch near POEA. I was told to go Robinson's Galleria after. Hmm. Okay. What a hassled afternoon I'll surely have.

As I entered the bank, I became nervous as hell. It's more like, "God, please help me. How the hell do you pay with deposit slips? Oh God." And well, with the help of the manong sikyu and other friendly persons, I was able to pay my due in no time. They were even amazed at me because I'll be taking the UPCAT. Heh. Imagine if I'm an iskolar ng bayan already. Now that would freak everybody out.

And so, I walked my way to Galleria. I realized that walking in Edsa on a hot Friday afternoon is the coolest thing ever, because there are so many weird people in POEA that is really really fun to observe. Of course I would only laugh in my mind. If I would have laughed out loud by then, those weird people would think that I'M WEIRD. Which then would make me weirder.

After a couple of minutes, mom picked me up from Robinsons's, and off we went to school to finally submit the upcat form. I saw some batchmates, but then I forgot what courses they would take up. And then I remembered mine. I CAN'T BELIEVE I CHOSE BS PSYCHOLOGY AS MY 2nd CHOICE. And I'm really praying now that Engineering courses aren't quota-fied. Janrae told me that they aren't, but then we may never know what the hell is going to happen this year.

And, wanna know something INTERESTING? Turns out that my dad's annual gross income based on his contract is only $1000. By which $1000 can be converted into 50thou pesos. And consequently, that's half of 100 grand, which makes it really below the belt.

It means that I shouldn't have PAYED anything.

Was the effort wasted? Oh, not really. I enjoyed it, on the contrary.

------------------