Hey Jealousy

So maybe it would be tad to selfish for my part to not share my upcat and acet mock exams results to you guys. So, here goes nothing.

For the UPCAT - 68%
For the ACET - 70%

Well, that's the besterestest best best that I can only reach. I know it sounds oh-so cliche, but I GAVE UP EVERYTHING, time included of course, for those 2 gruelling mock exams. But that's the highest score my brain can really do offer.

But please. Just please do pray for me. I'm really THAT desperate to get into the largest and niftiest state university in the country right now. Why?

-I don't want my parents too spend THAT much just for my college education. I know college education is the climax of everything, but that doesn't mean that I have to make my parents financially problematic for the rest of my college years.

-University of the Philippines, Diliman. How cool is that? You would amaze people in some way or another just by saying that you study here. Whatever your course may be.

-I seriously don't have anything against this school. Really. Really.

-If I'm Jessica Darling, then this must be my Columbia. But the difference is that UP-Diliman is a million dollars cheaper than that Ivy. UP-Diliman can be an Ivy too, I think.

-This is the most neutral school I've ever seen. NEUTRAL, at that whole students-protesting-about-the-corrupt-government thing. It's exceptionally neutral in a way that it's neither for rich or for poor ones. It's for SMART ones. (Safe answer.)

Well, I'm doing the whole kinakarir thing now. Studying my ass off each day is the new cool thing to do as your last summer resort.

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queeniequeeninie: look eto lang naman yan eh. ikaw parin ang mag dedecide. ikaw parin ang magiisip and all. pero for me feeling ko kase natatakot ka lang mag try bumigay sa isang bagay na hindi ineexpect ng mga tao sayo.. yung tipong "weh? ikaw? may date?" something na di usual eh ayaw mong subukan

This is really what I needed all along. A smack in the head by a really really really true friend who knows me more than I know myself.

The question is, why the hell am I scared anyway to try things that people aren't accustomed in seeing me doing?

Like dating and loving someone, for example.

Get this. I made a list of stupid-yet-true things I badly want to do because I'm afraid of people's reaction.

WHICH I'M NOT GOING TO TELL EVERYBODY.

Well, falling in love is one of those things. I shouldn't be doing so because I'm known to be heartless monster. But GAH. Just look at me now. It's McDreamy all over the place.

Why is Charlene ALWAYS right?

And do we ALL have that exceptional right to judge others?

I'm a hardcore hypocrite.

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Yesterday was a busy day. I can tell by the cutesy-pantsy experiences I had. First off, accomplishment of the UPCAT form.

I was pissed off when I knew that I have to pay to a bank just for that entrance exam form. I mean, can't we just pay there at the school? It'll all just come in one place anyway.

To save off commuting time and money, I went with my mom and sister since they'll be also going out anyway. They have to go to La Salle, I have to go to a LandBank or PNB branch. We have to hurry up, because Mom's car was restricted on Fridays, because of the number coding scheme implemented by MMDA. And so, as we were in Edsa, at that big road in front of Galleria, Mom was driving really fast because she didn't want to get caught by the very vicious crocs at the big intersection. But ha. We did get caught anyway. If you want to know why, you can personally ask me. The whole thing was funny and scary at the same time.

Mom was ballistic when she found out that the offices at LSGH won't be back on business until lunch time's over, which is 1 PM. She became more ballistic when I reminded her that I need to go to the bank. And as so, she dropped me off to that little LandBank branch near POEA. I was told to go Robinson's Galleria after. Hmm. Okay. What a hassled afternoon I'll surely have.

As I entered the bank, I became nervous as hell. It's more like, "God, please help me. How the hell do you pay with deposit slips? Oh God." And well, with the help of the manong sikyu and other friendly persons, I was able to pay my due in no time. They were even amazed at me because I'll be taking the UPCAT. Heh. Imagine if I'm an iskolar ng bayan already. Now that would freak everybody out.

And so, I walked my way to Galleria. I realized that walking in Edsa on a hot Friday afternoon is the coolest thing ever, because there are so many weird people in POEA that is really really fun to observe. Of course I would only laugh in my mind. If I would have laughed out loud by then, those weird people would think that I'M WEIRD. Which then would make me weirder.

After a couple of minutes, mom picked me up from Robinsons's, and off we went to school to finally submit the upcat form. I saw some batchmates, but then I forgot what courses they would take up. And then I remembered mine. I CAN'T BELIEVE I CHOSE BS PSYCHOLOGY AS MY 2nd CHOICE. And I'm really praying now that Engineering courses aren't quota-fied. Janrae told me that they aren't, but then we may never know what the hell is going to happen this year.

And, wanna know something INTERESTING? Turns out that my dad's annual gross income based on his contract is only $1000. By which $1000 can be converted into 50thou pesos. And consequently, that's half of 100 grand, which makes it really below the belt.

It means that I shouldn't have PAYED anything.

Was the effort wasted? Oh, not really. I enjoyed it, on the contrary.

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