Unfulfilled Resolutions

This is the last Saturday of the year 2007, and we are all two days away from the year of the rat. Funny, though. It had always been this way, hardly even having that new year spirit. What's with new year anyway? People don't get to receive anything, evidently. I mean, on the other hand, careless people get to lose innate stuffs (except for fat, that is. If it can actually reduce fat, then don't be surprised if our house will be burning like hell before you can even say "Wow, she's really fat").

Before I make a new and spanking resolution that I shall swear to God that I will really abide to, let's review that resolution I made for 2007.

LORAINNE'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION FOR 2007

1. Forget Coke. Forget Sprite. Forget Royal. Forget 7UP. FORGET SODAS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, DAMMIT. I've been making this as a new year's resolution for 5 stinkin' years!
-Yeah-freakin-right. The only days that this resolution was remembered was those days when we have to eat soup or bread because these foods tastes like shit when gulped down with a carbonated drink. That's probably some chemical reaction or something. My belly increased dramatically, so to speak. And you can very much thank that humongous amounts of carbonate, sugar, and alcohol for that. And my irresponsibility. Sure. Blame it all.

2. Study HARDER. Forget boys, gays, and homos, for that matter. YOU WON'T NEED THEM.
-And indeed, I studied a lot harder than last year. I guess it's too late anyway. Nice-y pants-y universities don't really consider much of the senior grades, which is a guh-reat tragedy, if you ask me. The school implemented transmutation as our primary grading system for this year, which practically did nothing but to indeed mutate stuffs. More deserving people was able to grab that academic award, and everyone's grades zoomed up. God, this sucks. It's like I'm pretending that all of those high grades I was able to garner were important for something, at least.

Forget boys? This one was badly violated, considering the stupid pseudo-romantic affairs I had with people from the opposite sex that have nothing but raging hormones. I never took one seriously, of course. If I did, then I would have been whining about all of it until now. Worse yet, I could've cried. Oh what a wimp. As I've experienced, meeting boys and consequently falling for them is pretty normal if you're around my age. Being offered to have sex after a date is quasi-normal. What is unusual is the fact that someone even bothered to love me, a gigantic pile of saturated fat, in an eros sense. It's funny and interesting at the same time how all of those shiznits ended because of my superb insecurity.

Everything seems too good to be true for a fatso like me anyway. My parents could've disowned their eldest daughter for being so damn fat long before I even started ranting here. But I guess they're probably still waiting for another juvenile reason (like making them wait for a few minutes, or purchasing an ugly shirt from an unknown shop.) before they throw me out of the house. I sure can't wait.

3. Try to meet other friends. (SUPER REDUNDANT.)
-This resolution is by far the only one I've consented seriously. I made friends by learning how to lower down my pride and disdainfulness, and thus be mature enough to understand people and their respective personalities.

God. I should be the next Gandhi or something.

4. Lose weight.
-Yeah. I did.

But it all came back after I stopped going to the gym, and stare at my personal trainer's delicious muscles. Jesus. I've never seen something else worth savoring except for that roasted chicken I saw at Roaster's. Until now, his smile is enough to give me chills for a whole week. Mom saw him a few weeks ago and he was still looking for me. I swear I'm feeling that we'll end up together and be so physically fit forever and ever.

5. Lose cellulites.
- I lost some in my thighs and ass, thank you very much to Treadmill # 3 in the gym.

It all came back of course. Apparently, going to a review center near a McDonald's branch was a bad idea.

6. Talk to the long-forgotten swimming coach about swimming again.
- Look, I don't need to talk about that guy I used to worship to go swimming again. I saw him once, and for sure I did not speak a word to him. He reminds me of my mediocrity in many sense.

7. Talk to those long-forgotten friends I've been checking out on Friendster and laughing out loud to their grammatically wrong sentences. Ex: Busog na me, gutom pa ba you? As if I don't make mistakes.
- I did. I even added a lot of them in Friendster. Now only if they would change their habit of abusing grammars and making people who have to read it suffer...

8. Be a GIRL for a change.
- I bought a hoodie with a plunging neck line yesterday. Does that count?

2008 Resolution will be out on Monday. Right on the New Year's Eve dot.