REJECTED

Oh yes. You've probably though of the idea before. You know, me being all rejected from Ateneo and all. What's funny is this actually came true. So much for a public display of my damn pride.

I saw only one 'Paragas' from the posted list beside the Blue Eagle gym. Kismet really has its own way of making things more heartbreaking, isn't it? That one Paragas used to be my schoolmate and classmate way back grade school. And who am I to blame besides my unreliable brain anyway? Eula(that's her name), made it with a communication-something course I have no intention of knowing. Yeah well she's freakin' smart anyway. My grandfather would always compare me to her, and would always wonder why she's so intelligent and I'm..I'm..I'm a failure. I hate craps like that. I mean, she's not even probably my 8th degree cousin or something and people keep measuring our brains like we're Siamese twins (which is so fucking unlikely).

Well anyway, before I start ranting how happy I still am amidst the fact that I was not accepted in Ateneo, I will give you a word of warning. Whatever licking style you may do in every word I will say, you will not taste a tinge of sourgrape. I. Am. Not. Sourgraping. I've told you all people before that I do not like to study in Ateneo. I have my own reasons, which I will be elucidating later, and/or in the near future. Alright?

Personally, Ateneo de Manila University gives me a very concrete impression of what it really is. If you put it into words, it will all just contain..'hard to get'. Perhaps that is one of those perfect reasons why people are so desperate to go there. The ACET is difficult, the tuition is difficult, and probably the people there may also be difficult (in given situations, that is). Everything is difficult, unlike UP, UST, or La Salle. In the latter parts of the previous year, I've later on realized that getting in a perfect college like Ateneo will make me, hence the coined term, perfect. So as to say, I became very interested in getting in the perfect university. Dad didn't made it there, so I was hoping I can relive his dream. Not for me, not for my friends, but for my father.

After making it in Mapua, I then pondered on the reason for why the hell do I want to go there anyway. For myself to be a perfect engineer/physicist? For my dad to brag about it to his officemates? For everyone to be proud of a big slob like me? If that's the case, then I think I'm missing the whole point of college, which is still education. Will Ateneo even help me find out who I really am (with its socially-clad and upper-class students? Heh. I don't really think so.), and what I am destined to be? At this point, you are probably thinking that I should like, go to a mental institution or some convent with this soul-searching thing I have. Well, you're probably right. I'll think about it.

At the end of the day, your choice of school does not really matter. So what if you did not pass their test? You've probably been dreaming for Ateneo or La Salle or whatever school all your freakin' life. Not being able to be accepted is an ass, I know. But it makes all things clear that it is not in God's will that you really go there. Maybe, just maybe, Ateneo will not make me the person I want to be (because after all, engineering is not really one of their fortes); A fucking Z-list engineer. Ooh. Sounds nice.

God does not want me to suffer the extreme consequences of not being able to stand up for myself in a school that does not only test your brains, or your parent's wallet. I know he wants me to go to a school where I can shine and show people that I can be Eula. He wants me to go somewhere my personality is best suited for. He wants me to go to..UP?

Ha. Yeah-freakin-right. I think I belong there, really.

But if all else fails, I think I'll just go to DLSU, where most of my friends are. At least I'll have someone to talk to in my first day, and not experience the trauma of being a first-day-till-last-day loner. Although I am indeed an introvert, I'm still a blabbermouth. I can't stop talking for at least half an hour.

It's funny and stupendous how people are more surprised and disappointed that you didn't pass, rather than them thinking that you deserve it(to be rejected) because you're not really that smart anyway. I like that crap.

Congratulations to all those who passed! You guys truly deserve it. And for those who didn't make it like yours truly, we can still transfer next year, hopefully.

Oh and by the way, if ever I pass UP-Diliman, all of you are invited to my 3-day booze extravaganza, which will be held at our street park. We will be drinking non-stop for three fucking days! Damn. That'll be good.