Sunday, March 22, 2009

Get Out

I'm tired.

I hope that you can just get out. Oh, and not just you. I want everything that is connected to you be wiped out of my life this instant. Your house, your dog, your kind parents, your room, your lover, and your other lover... everything. 

I'm just so tired of this irrational friendship. Wait. Was it a friendship? 

I don't think so.

Just get out.

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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Resurgence

And so again, we shall all play pretend.

Let's pretend that none of you didn't read the last post, nor even bothered to visit the page after a year. Not much has changed, anyway. I'm now in college, and goddamn it, I'm still fat as hell. And no, I'm not moping. I am fat, and so I'm gonna be until I finally get my ass out of my bed and start doing laps in pool again, which is unlikely because I think I'm gonna spend the rest of my life understanding calculus and shitty vectors. Hmm, maybe after graduation. Or until somebody handsome enough would convince me to lose the fat so he could spend the rest of his life with none other than yours truly. 

Let's pretend that none of you knows me. I mean technically, nobody really does know me aside from those people who knows me personally. For the benefit of those who are now suddenly feeling that urge to know my name and whatnot, I'm Lorainne/Oyen (but I highly prefer the latter). I'm grumpy, conceited, and imbecile. Yet above all things, I'm euphorically peculiar and I don't think nobody (not even a hunk) can ever force me in changing into an ordinary person because obviously, I'm not. I'm exceptional, and you better know it.

Let's pretend that none of you don't have knowledge of my academic standing. As it is stated in my profile, yes, I am indeed an engineering student who is now struggling to pass her last quiz in integral calculus and engineering physics just so she can get a fucking 1.0 and get through those two subjects already. I used to be so grade conscious, but that was when I was still smart and my brain cells kept on increasing each day. Now, I only have about 5 brain cells, two of which is for calculus, and the remaining are for engineering physics. I know, I know...it really does suck to be me, after all. Amidst my enthusing greatness, I'm dumb. I can't even find the hydrostatic pressure of one side of a water tank to save my life. I'll just die in my own mathematical sorrows, I guess.

Now, do you think you've had enough of pretending?

Yeah, me too. I think I'll stop pretending that I really do wanna quit this thing because sincerely, I don't want to leave INTROVERSION. I miss pondering on the most useless of thoughts and still make something stupendous out of it, miraculously. I miss sharing my stupidity to my imaginary readers, because deep in my heart I know that they appreciate it. I miss cussing. Period.

And this comeback is NOT for my persuasive speech in one of my subjects. I just needed to feel that homey feeling, you know? Like I belong somewhere, and in that place, I'm loved. 

So far, INTROVERSION is the only place that can make me feel loved. Hell, I made this thing. It wouldn't be much of a wonder if my own creation would love me.

Yeah. I'm back. :)