Posting this makes me a concerned citizen of this stinky country. God forbid my sensibility right now, but the current elections is tensing me out.
HOWKAY. Let's get down and diiirty.
Today is voting day, election day, dayaan day, or whatever you call it. For under-ages like us, this day seems to be awkward and normal at the same time. But for legal morons, this is the day that they're all given a chance to change the predictable fate of this country. Oh please. Save us all from extinction.
Now, the questions is, if I were to vote, whom would I choose?
Oh yessir. It's definitely a straight Genuine Opposition on my ballot. Why? Hello! I've been an anti-government bitch since I've known, and the senatorial candidates in GO are more convincing than those from the other party.
For local candidates, I would definitely choose Dodot Jaworski's party. Did you know that if I commute my way into the wet market, I would get a clear glimpse of the shabu tiangge? God, that sucks. The tricycle driver would always shout at those little kids who seem to not know that they're sniffing something bad, and who would hastily play in the middle of the road. I pity them. I should give them steroids for a change.
This election period was probably the only election period that gave me problems. Motorcades everywhere, traffic in one package.
I went to Monica's lately. Same old stuffs, but to our surprise election was held at the basketball court at the clubhouse. It definitely was a different experience for an underage like me to go and watch people from NAMFREL tally those candidates' scores. Monica even took a picture of one lady tallying some senatorial candidates' scores.
-------------------
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Walang Magawa. Mag-Tagalog Na Lang
Ok. Sige. Kaka-post ko lang kanina nung wala kong kwentang post. Kaso wala na kong magawa eh. Magpopost na lang ulit ako. Pero may twist. Tagalog naman ngayon.
Andaming pwedeng pag-usapan. Tama si Kuya Boy Abunda. Tara, Usap Tayo. (pina-trademark na ata nila yun eh)
Usapang inumin
Bakit nga ba masarap ang beer ngunit ito'y matabang naman? Hindi ko nga rin alam eh. Nung una kong natikman ang beer noong ako'y grade-schooler pa lamang, grabe! Halos nasuka ko ata lungs ko nun eh. Ang tabang tabang! Parang ka-lasa nung tsaa ni mama. Yung pinapa-inom nya saken dati para ata mawala ung mga allergies ko. O e ayun. Pero tama nga ang mga adik. Pag madalas ang pag-gamit, matutuwa ka na rin. Kaya para sa akin ngayon, mahal ko na ang beer. Consistent na ang pagkakaibigan namin.
Hindi ako naniniwalang calories yung hinayupak na Coke Light na yan. Totoo. So, ano, pag-ininom ko un, walang energy na makukuha? Wala ring fat? Aba, edi ok pala eh. Pero nung pagka-inom ko ng isang bote ay talagang nakita ko ang deadly effect ng anak ng tokwang Coke Light na yan. Ah! Lumaki na naman ang aking tiyan. Alam nyo bang 2 buwan na akong hindi umiinom ng normal na coke bago ko ginawa yon? Nakikita ko na ang shape ng aking tiyan, tas ayun. Nawawala na naman.
Ang pare-parehong guranteed effect ng mga sodas o kahit ano mang carbonated liquid eh lalaki ang tiyan mo. Oo, parang beer. Carbonated din kase ata ang beer. Pero duh, at least yung beer eh mas masarap.
Mahilig ako sa mga ginger ale dati, lalo na yung Canada Dry na yan. Ayus! Masarap sa panlasa. Yun kase ang hinahanap ng katawan ko sa mga inuman eh. That CO3 goodness. Hindi ba't parang ang sarap ng feeling ng isang inumin na pagka-sarap sarap na dumadaloy sa iyong bituka't binubutas ito? Haaay.
----------------------------------
Usapang Mall
Ang pinaka-magandang mall na aking napuntahan, ay ang Galeria Mokotow na nasa Warsaw, Poland. Aside from the fact na yun lang ang mall sa Warsaw, ay napaka-daming pwedeng gawin doon. Andun ang Smyk Toy Store na sobrang favorite ko. 10 times better yon sa Toy Kingdom at Toy's R Us. Nung isang time eh iniwan ako ng nanay ko dun sa mall. Binigyan nya ako ng budget na 50 zloty ata yun. Malaki-laki na rin, cguro 1000 pesos na rin yun sa bansa natin. Pero hayop! Ubos ang pera sa kaka-bili ng mga Hasbro Board Games sa Smyk! Anak ng tokwa yan. Nagalit nanay ko sa akin nun. Simula noon ay hindi na ako iniwan sa mall.
Hindi ako natutuwa sa Mall of Asia. Ang laki-laki kase eh, at andami-dami pang tao. Tsaka ewan. Di ko yun feel. Siguro kung pupunta ako dun eh dahil lang sa iMax or ewan. Amboring talaga dun eh. Pinorove lang ng MoA na na pag malaki ka, boring ka. Tignan mo nga ko. Ang laki ko, tas ang boring ko. Nakikita naman ang pagka-realistic ng mga bagay-bagay.
Siguro ang mall na sobrang dalas kong puntahan ay ang Megamall. Kung araw-araw ako mag-ggym, edi araw-araw din ako dun. Yun lang ata ang mall na kabisado ko ang bawat floor at stalls by heart, maliban sa Robinson's Galleria. Naligaw ako dati sa Megamall, tapos imbis na mag-alala ang aking mga magulang ay sobrang pinagalitan pa ko. Ang tanda-tanda ko na daw eh naliligaw pa ko. Ugok lang daw ang naliligaw. Alam nyo ba kung ilang taon ako noong mga time na yon? 8 ata. Grabe. Kaya kinabisado ko na talaga yang lintek na Megamall na yan.
Kung considered na mall ang Mercedes Plaza eh paborito ko na yon. Bakit? Aba! Andun ata lahat ng trip ko. Shawarma, dvd's..magazine..groceries. Di ka malulugi. Ang downside nga lang eh wala kang masyadong source of entertainment doon dahil mas malaki pa ata ang soon-to-be Greenwoods mall kesa sa buong plaza, kasama na ang parking-an at E-nopi at terminal ng tricycle. Punta na lang kayo dun sa 2nd floor. Masaya don. Nag-bibingo nanay ko dun lagi eh. Text nyo pag andun nanay ko.
Noong pumunta kaming Malaysia, nakatira kami sa suite ng aking tatay sa The Ascott na nasa tapat ng KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Center) at Petronas Twin Towers. Ayos ang location kahit kailan. Araw-araw ay tinatawid ko lang ang mall. Tapos maglilibot, aamuyin ang napaka-bantot na atmosphere ng mga bumbay, at babalik na ulit sa suite. Sa KLCC ko ata natutunan magsawa sa mga pasyalan. Dun ako natututo ma-KJ to death. Sisihin nyo un. Araw-araw ka ba namang mamatay sa baho ng mga baktuling kili-kili ng mga bumbay sa mall eh tignan ko lang kung di ka magsawa.
Merong isang time na kinailangan ng carrots ng aking nanay. At dahil di naman uso mga long-katuts doon, ako malamang ang uutusan bumili. At dahil di naman uso ang mga sari-sari store o mga mini-palengke sa tabi-tabi doon, kailangan kong pumunta sa mall mag-isa. 9 years old pa lang ata ako nun. Sa part ko eh okay lang, kaso nilagyan ng twist ng nanay ko. Grabe. Papabili na nga lang ng carrots eh. O ayun. Sabi nya wag daw dapat ako magpakita sa tatay ko na nasa Fitness First ata nuong mga oras na iyon na nasa tabi ng grocery na nasa KLCC. Hanep. Feeling ko super secret agent ako na inutusan ng aking Hepe na mang-raid. Ayun. Lusot naman. Nakabili din ng carrots. Di nahuli ni itay.
----------------------
Usapang Bansa.
Ako'y nakapunta na sa 4 na bansa. Dalawang beses sa Hong Kong, 2 beses sa Malaysia, 2 beses sa Singapore, at 1 beses pa lamang sa Poland. Nakakatuwang isipin na from South East Asia eh nilaktaw ko ang Americas at pumuntang Europa. Ewan. May galit ata tatay ko sa America eh. Overrated daw. Onga naman Parang ano nga naman ang appeal non sa mga tao pag sinabe mong, "Nakapunta na akong America"? Halos lahat naman ngayon ng tao eh pumupunta na don. Hindi bali, matignan nga yang mga puting yan next year.
Sa lahat ng mga bansang napuntahan ko, the best pa rin ang Poland. Malamang. Europa eh. Pero ewan. Matindi talaga ang epekto ng bansang iyon sa akin. Ano nga bang pinag-gagagawa namin doon?
-Naging full-time yaya ako ng mga kapatid ko
-First time kong makapiling ang snow.
-First time kong makapglinis ng snow.
-First time kong matikamn ang snow.
Yun lang ata significance ng Poland sa akin, kung idadaan ko sa salita. Pero ewan. Dun ko unang nakitang umiyak yung tatay ko dahil ma-mimiss nya kami. Oo, mga paknerz. Hindi naman talaga umiiyak ang tatay ko eh. Dun ko namana ang pagka-bato ko. Nung unang time nya ata kaming iiwan, sa Saudi ata sya pupunta non para sa kanyang trabaho, hindi naman daw umiyak. Hayup! 2 taon kaya sya dun. Bwiset eh no.
Hindi ko na-tripan ang Hong Kong. Siguro nung 2nd time na namin don eh medyo nasiyahan ako kase shopping galore with itay at Mong Kok ata yun, pero katulad ng America'y overrated na rin and Hong Kong. Ini-imagine ko nga na kung pwede eh magtayo na lang sila ng subway or tunnel na mahaba, yung parang sa Russia, tapos i-connect na lang sa Pilipinas. 1 oras lang naman ang layo ng Hong Kong sa Maynila eh. Malayo pa ang Baguio from Manila kung tutuusin. Less buttache, pare!
Bawat lingon mo eh may Pilipino sa Hong Kong. yun lang ang nakakairita don. Kase halos singkwenta mil ang binayad mo para maka-alis sa Pilipinas, tapos malalaman mong extension lang pala ng Pilipinas ang Hong Kong. Bad trip. Lalo na nung nag Disneyland kami. Parang nag-EK ka lang eh. Mas masaya pa siguro sa EK. Sa Disneyland andaming pa-epal shits eh. Sarap sapakin. Lalo na si Sleeping Beauty. Nandun kami ng tatay ko sa may gazeebo kung san nakikipag-kodakan ang mga chikiting kay Sleeping Beauty ng bigla kong maisip mang-gago. "Hindi ba't si Sleeping Beauty yan? O e bat sya gising?" Ang sasama ng tingin sa akin ng mga Pilipinong kuto.
Sa aking pag-travel sa mga iba't-ibang bansa sa murang edad, isa pa lang ang pwede kong ma-conclude. Kung feeling ni Magellan eh bilog ang mundo, feeling ko eh bilog ang mukha ko. Hinde. Feeling ko wala ng gusto maging Pilipino. Totoo. Andami ko atang nakita sa Malaysia na lumilingon pag nagtatagalog ako. Pero pag tinanong mo kung anung lahi eh sasabihin na malaysian sya or thai sya or chekwa sya or aso sya, with matching barok english pa yun. Nakakairita ano? Buti sana kung realistic eh. Hindi naman.
Tss. Ako nga Caucasian eh. Ano? Laban, ha?
------------------------
Andaming pwedeng pag-usapan. Tama si Kuya Boy Abunda. Tara, Usap Tayo. (pina-trademark na ata nila yun eh)
Usapang inumin
Bakit nga ba masarap ang beer ngunit ito'y matabang naman? Hindi ko nga rin alam eh. Nung una kong natikman ang beer noong ako'y grade-schooler pa lamang, grabe! Halos nasuka ko ata lungs ko nun eh. Ang tabang tabang! Parang ka-lasa nung tsaa ni mama. Yung pinapa-inom nya saken dati para ata mawala ung mga allergies ko. O e ayun. Pero tama nga ang mga adik. Pag madalas ang pag-gamit, matutuwa ka na rin. Kaya para sa akin ngayon, mahal ko na ang beer. Consistent na ang pagkakaibigan namin.
Hindi ako naniniwalang calories yung hinayupak na Coke Light na yan. Totoo. So, ano, pag-ininom ko un, walang energy na makukuha? Wala ring fat? Aba, edi ok pala eh. Pero nung pagka-inom ko ng isang bote ay talagang nakita ko ang deadly effect ng anak ng tokwang Coke Light na yan. Ah! Lumaki na naman ang aking tiyan. Alam nyo bang 2 buwan na akong hindi umiinom ng normal na coke bago ko ginawa yon? Nakikita ko na ang shape ng aking tiyan, tas ayun. Nawawala na naman.
Ang pare-parehong guranteed effect ng mga sodas o kahit ano mang carbonated liquid eh lalaki ang tiyan mo. Oo, parang beer. Carbonated din kase ata ang beer. Pero duh, at least yung beer eh mas masarap.
Mahilig ako sa mga ginger ale dati, lalo na yung Canada Dry na yan. Ayus! Masarap sa panlasa. Yun kase ang hinahanap ng katawan ko sa mga inuman eh. That CO3 goodness. Hindi ba't parang ang sarap ng feeling ng isang inumin na pagka-sarap sarap na dumadaloy sa iyong bituka't binubutas ito? Haaay.
----------------------------------
Usapang Mall
Ang pinaka-magandang mall na aking napuntahan, ay ang Galeria Mokotow na nasa Warsaw, Poland. Aside from the fact na yun lang ang mall sa Warsaw, ay napaka-daming pwedeng gawin doon. Andun ang Smyk Toy Store na sobrang favorite ko. 10 times better yon sa Toy Kingdom at Toy's R Us. Nung isang time eh iniwan ako ng nanay ko dun sa mall. Binigyan nya ako ng budget na 50 zloty ata yun. Malaki-laki na rin, cguro 1000 pesos na rin yun sa bansa natin. Pero hayop! Ubos ang pera sa kaka-bili ng mga Hasbro Board Games sa Smyk! Anak ng tokwa yan. Nagalit nanay ko sa akin nun. Simula noon ay hindi na ako iniwan sa mall.
Hindi ako natutuwa sa Mall of Asia. Ang laki-laki kase eh, at andami-dami pang tao. Tsaka ewan. Di ko yun feel. Siguro kung pupunta ako dun eh dahil lang sa iMax or ewan. Amboring talaga dun eh. Pinorove lang ng MoA na na pag malaki ka, boring ka. Tignan mo nga ko. Ang laki ko, tas ang boring ko. Nakikita naman ang pagka-realistic ng mga bagay-bagay.
Siguro ang mall na sobrang dalas kong puntahan ay ang Megamall. Kung araw-araw ako mag-ggym, edi araw-araw din ako dun. Yun lang ata ang mall na kabisado ko ang bawat floor at stalls by heart, maliban sa Robinson's Galleria. Naligaw ako dati sa Megamall, tapos imbis na mag-alala ang aking mga magulang ay sobrang pinagalitan pa ko. Ang tanda-tanda ko na daw eh naliligaw pa ko. Ugok lang daw ang naliligaw. Alam nyo ba kung ilang taon ako noong mga time na yon? 8 ata. Grabe. Kaya kinabisado ko na talaga yang lintek na Megamall na yan.
Kung considered na mall ang Mercedes Plaza eh paborito ko na yon. Bakit? Aba! Andun ata lahat ng trip ko. Shawarma, dvd's..magazine..groceries. Di ka malulugi. Ang downside nga lang eh wala kang masyadong source of entertainment doon dahil mas malaki pa ata ang soon-to-be Greenwoods mall kesa sa buong plaza, kasama na ang parking-an at E-nopi at terminal ng tricycle. Punta na lang kayo dun sa 2nd floor. Masaya don. Nag-bibingo nanay ko dun lagi eh. Text nyo pag andun nanay ko.
Noong pumunta kaming Malaysia, nakatira kami sa suite ng aking tatay sa The Ascott na nasa tapat ng KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Center) at Petronas Twin Towers. Ayos ang location kahit kailan. Araw-araw ay tinatawid ko lang ang mall. Tapos maglilibot, aamuyin ang napaka-bantot na atmosphere ng mga bumbay, at babalik na ulit sa suite. Sa KLCC ko ata natutunan magsawa sa mga pasyalan. Dun ako natututo ma-KJ to death. Sisihin nyo un. Araw-araw ka ba namang mamatay sa baho ng mga baktuling kili-kili ng mga bumbay sa mall eh tignan ko lang kung di ka magsawa.
Merong isang time na kinailangan ng carrots ng aking nanay. At dahil di naman uso mga long-katuts doon, ako malamang ang uutusan bumili. At dahil di naman uso ang mga sari-sari store o mga mini-palengke sa tabi-tabi doon, kailangan kong pumunta sa mall mag-isa. 9 years old pa lang ata ako nun. Sa part ko eh okay lang, kaso nilagyan ng twist ng nanay ko. Grabe. Papabili na nga lang ng carrots eh. O ayun. Sabi nya wag daw dapat ako magpakita sa tatay ko na nasa Fitness First ata nuong mga oras na iyon na nasa tabi ng grocery na nasa KLCC. Hanep. Feeling ko super secret agent ako na inutusan ng aking Hepe na mang-raid. Ayun. Lusot naman. Nakabili din ng carrots. Di nahuli ni itay.
----------------------
Usapang Bansa.
Ako'y nakapunta na sa 4 na bansa. Dalawang beses sa Hong Kong, 2 beses sa Malaysia, 2 beses sa Singapore, at 1 beses pa lamang sa Poland. Nakakatuwang isipin na from South East Asia eh nilaktaw ko ang Americas at pumuntang Europa. Ewan. May galit ata tatay ko sa America eh. Overrated daw. Onga naman Parang ano nga naman ang appeal non sa mga tao pag sinabe mong, "Nakapunta na akong America"? Halos lahat naman ngayon ng tao eh pumupunta na don. Hindi bali, matignan nga yang mga puting yan next year.
Sa lahat ng mga bansang napuntahan ko, the best pa rin ang Poland. Malamang. Europa eh. Pero ewan. Matindi talaga ang epekto ng bansang iyon sa akin. Ano nga bang pinag-gagagawa namin doon?
-Naging full-time yaya ako ng mga kapatid ko
-First time kong makapiling ang snow.
-First time kong makapglinis ng snow.
-First time kong matikamn ang snow.
Yun lang ata significance ng Poland sa akin, kung idadaan ko sa salita. Pero ewan. Dun ko unang nakitang umiyak yung tatay ko dahil ma-mimiss nya kami. Oo, mga paknerz. Hindi naman talaga umiiyak ang tatay ko eh. Dun ko namana ang pagka-bato ko. Nung unang time nya ata kaming iiwan, sa Saudi ata sya pupunta non para sa kanyang trabaho, hindi naman daw umiyak. Hayup! 2 taon kaya sya dun. Bwiset eh no.
Hindi ko na-tripan ang Hong Kong. Siguro nung 2nd time na namin don eh medyo nasiyahan ako kase shopping galore with itay at Mong Kok ata yun, pero katulad ng America'y overrated na rin and Hong Kong. Ini-imagine ko nga na kung pwede eh magtayo na lang sila ng subway or tunnel na mahaba, yung parang sa Russia, tapos i-connect na lang sa Pilipinas. 1 oras lang naman ang layo ng Hong Kong sa Maynila eh. Malayo pa ang Baguio from Manila kung tutuusin. Less buttache, pare!
Bawat lingon mo eh may Pilipino sa Hong Kong. yun lang ang nakakairita don. Kase halos singkwenta mil ang binayad mo para maka-alis sa Pilipinas, tapos malalaman mong extension lang pala ng Pilipinas ang Hong Kong. Bad trip. Lalo na nung nag Disneyland kami. Parang nag-EK ka lang eh. Mas masaya pa siguro sa EK. Sa Disneyland andaming pa-epal shits eh. Sarap sapakin. Lalo na si Sleeping Beauty. Nandun kami ng tatay ko sa may gazeebo kung san nakikipag-kodakan ang mga chikiting kay Sleeping Beauty ng bigla kong maisip mang-gago. "Hindi ba't si Sleeping Beauty yan? O e bat sya gising?" Ang sasama ng tingin sa akin ng mga Pilipinong kuto.
Sa aking pag-travel sa mga iba't-ibang bansa sa murang edad, isa pa lang ang pwede kong ma-conclude. Kung feeling ni Magellan eh bilog ang mundo, feeling ko eh bilog ang mukha ko. Hinde. Feeling ko wala ng gusto maging Pilipino. Totoo. Andami ko atang nakita sa Malaysia na lumilingon pag nagtatagalog ako. Pero pag tinanong mo kung anung lahi eh sasabihin na malaysian sya or thai sya or chekwa sya or aso sya, with matching barok english pa yun. Nakakairita ano? Buti sana kung realistic eh. Hindi naman.
Tss. Ako nga Caucasian eh. Ano? Laban, ha?
------------------------
A Love That Definitely, Absolutely, Cannot Be
I spoke too soon. I'm calling it quits.
We can't be together. He's lanky, I'm fat. If we go together, we would look like a human-ized version of number 10, or .01 if I'm on the left and carrying a big plastic of groceries.
Of course all of you would say that lookism in relationships didn't matter. But what if you're in my place? I've sacrificed everything. Time, energy, and money; but there really is no way this body would shrink.
Why, of Good Lord, why can't a fat pig and her lanky love cannot be together? I've never seen a very fat high school girl go out with someone lanky, or normal-sized boy. In America, it can happen. But you just can't get the American out of a Filipino.
"Life has never been this good for me. I hope this is for good.."
Ugh. Being fat sucks. You don't have the right to love, nor to be popular, nor to be yourself, nor to be free, nor to be anything. Being fat is like being a Jew on Holocaust. Feelings and senses are locked up. People disgust you. No respect is earned. No anything is earned, aside from calories and carbohydrates.
Being fat means being irresponsible. Irresponsible in a way that you're letting people know how gritty-teethy you can't get with food.
Thing is, I'm not even eating.
People should know respect like the back of their hands, if they should be respected like the way I wanted to be.
----------------------------------
We have a new keyboard. And I love love loveeeeee it.
It has these multimedia buttons on top which makes it super great.
HOGWASH.
----------------------------------
I did something against my will.
WATCH GREY'S ANATOMY.
Oh yes. I actually don't have an idea why I did so, but next thing I knew, I was mid-hooked. GAH. It's not my fault Meredith Grey's philosophical lines every time the show ends is so...true. All of them are so realistic.
What can I say about it? Well, hell it sucks. I only like it when Meredith would start saying those words of wisdom, or when Cristina would blurt out something funny, which has become so rare in every succeeding episode of the 3rd season. There's more drama and sex and relationships and shits than living out the show's purpose which is to entertain us with accurate medical information that would deal with weird patients. Thing is, I still can't see a weird patient. Every patient I had pondered in every episode just seemed tad to normal.
If I had watched Grey's Anatomy before I watched House, I still would choose House MD. I learned more medical and Biology stuffs in House MD than any other medical shows I've watched. And Dr. House MD is waaaaaay funnier than all of those surgeons in Grey's Anatomy combined. The characters in Grey's Anatomy LOOKS funny, like Miranda, who very much looks like a mushroom-headed hobbit. The characters in House MD looks professional, but still can live up the true sarcasm spirit of the show.
God, I really do have to stop watching too many TV shows.
Prison Break? Lemme try!
-------------------------------------
Love is getting weirder and weirder every single day of my stench-driven life.
When I was still a kid, I thought love was yuck. Every time my grandfather or my dad or my mom or any relative would ask if I love them, I would always nod my head in disapproval. Media has given me the information that love is just pure intimacy. Kiss kiss, hug hug, sex sex. Growing up with that kind of perspective really didn't help. It makes you expect stuffs and would later on be sadden by the fact that love isn't like that.
When I arrived at that stage when I had my first realistic love, it gave me creeps. Jeez that creeps. They told me that if you can define what you're feeling when you're in love, then you really aren't in love. It's like saying you're evil, but you really are not. Did Satan ever made a quotation that He, ergo, was the most evil-ish devil in the whole saga of our lifetime? That's what I'm talking about. Do the talk.
Turns out that I CAN define what I felt at that time. You know, same old butterflies in the stomach thing.
And now, as a full-grown love cockroach, I definitely know what the hell true love is.
This perspective isn't from my girly-girl, teen-bopper, personality. Like hell I am. Thus, this one is purely juiced from my wannabe-grown up part of the brain.
Love is not butterflies in the stomach. Love will never be a medical condition that is just there to make you squirm in delight that somebody loves you voluntarily. It is therefore a commitment to a relationship that expresses not only intimacy, but creates our own version of what maturity can lead to. Love, moreover, makes us perfectly mature if we can handle it in the least intimate way as possible. Intimacy is not the only thing you get in a relationship full of crappy love. Making sure that someone cares for you and feeds you and grows old with you is solely NOT the purpose of love, because our parents and relatives can perfectly do the same thing.
My pointless point is that love's purpose is to teach us all a lesson in the end. Remember, that all decisions we make affects further and future aspects of our lives. And if we won't learn from anything, then future is just a Gaussian blur with a radius of 100 in the end.
Somebody told me that I make him happy. I was thinking of this a while ago, and I ask myself..How the hell can I even do that? You know, make other people happy, but not make myself happy?
“Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”
- Meredith Grey
----------------------------------
Monica and I were talking about college yesterday. You know, being in McDonald's Katipunan AGAIN on a Friday night would really force you to stop and wonder what the hell you're going to do on the next biggie step after we graduate this year.
Some people are wondering what course they would take up, or what outfits they would wear to college, or some teensy-flimsy questions in life.
But my real question is, WILL I PASS A SINGLE COLLEGE?
College friends are telling me to never doubt yourself when it comes to CET's. If you're doing so as early as now, then the more you will on July, the el great hellandia month.
Course is never my problem. Not that I'm decided on one, but choosing one can be an easy step if you really know yourself, which I am. It's either liberal arts, or engineering anyway.
God, I shouldn't be even thinking of where to study HERE if I'm decided to take a scholarship in University of California, San Diego, where my talents will be much further appreciated.
But one thing I learned in sappy movies and telenovelas is that you can't leave someone you love that easily. I mean love love, as in voluntarily love.
How bitter can my life be anyway?
-----------------------------------
We can't be together. He's lanky, I'm fat. If we go together, we would look like a human-ized version of number 10, or .01 if I'm on the left and carrying a big plastic of groceries.
Of course all of you would say that lookism in relationships didn't matter. But what if you're in my place? I've sacrificed everything. Time, energy, and money; but there really is no way this body would shrink.
Why, of Good Lord, why can't a fat pig and her lanky love cannot be together? I've never seen a very fat high school girl go out with someone lanky, or normal-sized boy. In America, it can happen. But you just can't get the American out of a Filipino.
"Life has never been this good for me. I hope this is for good.."
Ugh. Being fat sucks. You don't have the right to love, nor to be popular, nor to be yourself, nor to be free, nor to be anything. Being fat is like being a Jew on Holocaust. Feelings and senses are locked up. People disgust you. No respect is earned. No anything is earned, aside from calories and carbohydrates.
Being fat means being irresponsible. Irresponsible in a way that you're letting people know how gritty-teethy you can't get with food.
Thing is, I'm not even eating.
People should know respect like the back of their hands, if they should be respected like the way I wanted to be.
----------------------------------
We have a new keyboard. And I love love loveeeeee it.
It has these multimedia buttons on top which makes it super great.
HOGWASH.
----------------------------------
I did something against my will.
WATCH GREY'S ANATOMY.
Oh yes. I actually don't have an idea why I did so, but next thing I knew, I was mid-hooked. GAH. It's not my fault Meredith Grey's philosophical lines every time the show ends is so...true. All of them are so realistic.
What can I say about it? Well, hell it sucks. I only like it when Meredith would start saying those words of wisdom, or when Cristina would blurt out something funny, which has become so rare in every succeeding episode of the 3rd season. There's more drama and sex and relationships and shits than living out the show's purpose which is to entertain us with accurate medical information that would deal with weird patients. Thing is, I still can't see a weird patient. Every patient I had pondered in every episode just seemed tad to normal.
If I had watched Grey's Anatomy before I watched House, I still would choose House MD. I learned more medical and Biology stuffs in House MD than any other medical shows I've watched. And Dr. House MD is waaaaaay funnier than all of those surgeons in Grey's Anatomy combined. The characters in Grey's Anatomy LOOKS funny, like Miranda, who very much looks like a mushroom-headed hobbit. The characters in House MD looks professional, but still can live up the true sarcasm spirit of the show.
God, I really do have to stop watching too many TV shows.
Prison Break? Lemme try!
-------------------------------------
Love is getting weirder and weirder every single day of my stench-driven life.
When I was still a kid, I thought love was yuck. Every time my grandfather or my dad or my mom or any relative would ask if I love them, I would always nod my head in disapproval. Media has given me the information that love is just pure intimacy. Kiss kiss, hug hug, sex sex. Growing up with that kind of perspective really didn't help. It makes you expect stuffs and would later on be sadden by the fact that love isn't like that.
When I arrived at that stage when I had my first realistic love, it gave me creeps. Jeez that creeps. They told me that if you can define what you're feeling when you're in love, then you really aren't in love. It's like saying you're evil, but you really are not. Did Satan ever made a quotation that He, ergo, was the most evil-ish devil in the whole saga of our lifetime? That's what I'm talking about. Do the talk.
Turns out that I CAN define what I felt at that time. You know, same old butterflies in the stomach thing.
And now, as a full-grown love cockroach, I definitely know what the hell true love is.
This perspective isn't from my girly-girl, teen-bopper, personality. Like hell I am. Thus, this one is purely juiced from my wannabe-grown up part of the brain.
Love is not butterflies in the stomach. Love will never be a medical condition that is just there to make you squirm in delight that somebody loves you voluntarily. It is therefore a commitment to a relationship that expresses not only intimacy, but creates our own version of what maturity can lead to. Love, moreover, makes us perfectly mature if we can handle it in the least intimate way as possible. Intimacy is not the only thing you get in a relationship full of crappy love. Making sure that someone cares for you and feeds you and grows old with you is solely NOT the purpose of love, because our parents and relatives can perfectly do the same thing.
My pointless point is that love's purpose is to teach us all a lesson in the end. Remember, that all decisions we make affects further and future aspects of our lives. And if we won't learn from anything, then future is just a Gaussian blur with a radius of 100 in the end.
Somebody told me that I make him happy. I was thinking of this a while ago, and I ask myself..How the hell can I even do that? You know, make other people happy, but not make myself happy?
“Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”
- Meredith Grey
----------------------------------
Monica and I were talking about college yesterday. You know, being in McDonald's Katipunan AGAIN on a Friday night would really force you to stop and wonder what the hell you're going to do on the next biggie step after we graduate this year.
Some people are wondering what course they would take up, or what outfits they would wear to college, or some teensy-flimsy questions in life.
But my real question is, WILL I PASS A SINGLE COLLEGE?
College friends are telling me to never doubt yourself when it comes to CET's. If you're doing so as early as now, then the more you will on July, the el great hellandia month.
Course is never my problem. Not that I'm decided on one, but choosing one can be an easy step if you really know yourself, which I am. It's either liberal arts, or engineering anyway.
God, I shouldn't be even thinking of where to study HERE if I'm decided to take a scholarship in University of California, San Diego, where my talents will be much further appreciated.
But one thing I learned in sappy movies and telenovelas is that you can't leave someone you love that easily. I mean love love, as in voluntarily love.
How bitter can my life be anyway?
-----------------------------------
Friday, May 11, 2007
Surveys and Ulcercolosis
God knows why I'm doing surveys again while I'm supposed to prove 25 word problems. Ugh.
Got this from Friendster.
Basic Bullsh*t.
What's your name?
x. It depends on my mood. Oyen would be nice
Your age would be nice to know.
x. 16 on the 20th
Are you single or taken?
x. In-between
Randomization.
What is your least favorite color?
x. PINK! WHAT ELSE?!
What is the last thing on earth that
you would like to do right now?
x. uh. sleep?
What clothes are you wearing?
x. repressed ones
What color is your bedroom?
x. PINK! Lintek yan! Ayaw na papalitan eh
What is your least favorite food?
x. greasy ones
What is your favorite food?
x. ICE CREAM'S DA BOMB
And your least favorite drink would
be...?
x. Coke. ....NOT.
In all honesty does myspace take up a
great deal of your life?
x. nah.
If you could be any age, what would it
be?
x. 20
Are you satisfied with the way you
look and act?
x. No. I want to be skinny. REALLY SKINNY
Is Bzoink a website that you visit
often?
x. No, but my mom does
Do you do drugs and/or alcohol on a
regular basis?
x. Are steroids considered drugs? If they are then yes, I'm drugging on a regular basis. Alcohol is a given
Do you think you are capable of not
eating for 5 days?
x. 5 only? a 100 bucks says I can do it in a month
What food and drink could you live off
for the rest of your life?
x. beer and ice cream
Boys and Girls Are Fun.
Do looks really matter?
x. Lookism is bad. But I have to admit that looks do often matter to me
Does size really matter?
x. I wish it didn't.
Have you ever had a
boyfriend/girlfriend?
x. Don't remind me
If so, how long was that relationship?
x. It's...short-lived.
What is your longest?
x. SHORT-LIVED
What quality do you find most
attractive in a boy/girl?
x. Smartness, bad-ass-ness, and crappy yet really funny jokes
Are you a virgin?
x. yessir
If you are not, do you regret doing it
with the person you lost "it" to?
x. ~
If you are a virgin, are you in a rush
to not be one anymore?
x. NOOO
Is PDA disgusting?
x. If I'm doing it with my significant other, then yes.
Is there anything that you would
change about your significant other?
x. NO. I COULDN'T ASK FOR MORE
Do you think you could marry a high
school sweetheart?
x. No.
Would you ever consider having a long
distance relationship?
x. Depends
Long or Short hair?
x. depends on whether what style looks good on him
Blue eyes or Brown eyes?
x. GREEN
Tan or light skin?
x. any color would do.
Looks or Brains?
x. DEFINITELY BRAINSSSS
--------------------------
Ulcercolosis is killing me. My stomach's rumbling like hell, and I'm coughing so hard my brains would definitely jump out from my mouth in no time.
--------------------------
[EDIT]: This part was excluded. See the post dated August 19th of 2007 to know the reason WHY.
---------------------------------
Review classes are pissing me off. I mean, really. I'll explain later.
Got this from Friendster.
Basic Bullsh*t.
What's your name?
x. It depends on my mood. Oyen would be nice
Your age would be nice to know.
x. 16 on the 20th
Are you single or taken?
x. In-between
Randomization.
What is your least favorite color?
x. PINK! WHAT ELSE?!
What is the last thing on earth that
you would like to do right now?
x. uh. sleep?
What clothes are you wearing?
x. repressed ones
What color is your bedroom?
x. PINK! Lintek yan! Ayaw na papalitan eh
What is your least favorite food?
x. greasy ones
What is your favorite food?
x. ICE CREAM'S DA BOMB
And your least favorite drink would
be...?
x. Coke. ....NOT.
In all honesty does myspace take up a
great deal of your life?
x. nah.
If you could be any age, what would it
be?
x. 20
Are you satisfied with the way you
look and act?
x. No. I want to be skinny. REALLY SKINNY
Is Bzoink a website that you visit
often?
x. No, but my mom does
Do you do drugs and/or alcohol on a
regular basis?
x. Are steroids considered drugs? If they are then yes, I'm drugging on a regular basis. Alcohol is a given
Do you think you are capable of not
eating for 5 days?
x. 5 only? a 100 bucks says I can do it in a month
What food and drink could you live off
for the rest of your life?
x. beer and ice cream
Boys and Girls Are Fun.
Do looks really matter?
x. Lookism is bad. But I have to admit that looks do often matter to me
Does size really matter?
x. I wish it didn't.
Have you ever had a
boyfriend/girlfriend?
x. Don't remind me
If so, how long was that relationship?
x. It's...short-lived.
What is your longest?
x. SHORT-LIVED
What quality do you find most
attractive in a boy/girl?
x. Smartness, bad-ass-ness, and crappy yet really funny jokes
Are you a virgin?
x. yessir
If you are not, do you regret doing it
with the person you lost "it" to?
x. ~
If you are a virgin, are you in a rush
to not be one anymore?
x. NOOO
Is PDA disgusting?
x. If I'm doing it with my significant other, then yes.
Is there anything that you would
change about your significant other?
x. NO. I COULDN'T ASK FOR MORE
Do you think you could marry a high
school sweetheart?
x. No.
Would you ever consider having a long
distance relationship?
x. Depends
Long or Short hair?
x. depends on whether what style looks good on him
Blue eyes or Brown eyes?
x. GREEN
Tan or light skin?
x. any color would do.
Looks or Brains?
x. DEFINITELY BRAINSSSS
--------------------------
Ulcercolosis is killing me. My stomach's rumbling like hell, and I'm coughing so hard my brains would definitely jump out from my mouth in no time.
--------------------------
[EDIT]: This part was excluded. See the post dated August 19th of 2007 to know the reason WHY.
---------------------------------
Review classes are pissing me off. I mean, really. I'll explain later.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Slow Down
God, bloggy. Being in-love sucks, huh? Well, I shouldn't even know that because I haven't been in a working and fo' real relationship before with my significant other. If I have one, that is.
So, what's with the love starter? I don't know. Like most of you guys, I also think that I'm a creature invulnerable to that stupid love cherub(Cupid, for you dumb-asses). Like I've said before, I don't deserve to love. People as obnoxious and repulsive and as fat as me don't have the right to. We can only love ourselves, and God, for those of you who aren't as God-forbidding as I am.
But what the hell did The Big Guy told that love gremlin to do again? Yes. The stupid love cherub got me in the chokehold. I'm not even supposed to be chokeholded, but ugh. Look what He just did. No way it's going to be MY fault.
But, whatever. Wish me bad luck.
------------
I woke up early today to go to the gym, but it's too early anyway so I opened Mac and wrote these thoughts that are stuck somewhere in my foot.
I was listening to Chico and Delamar while getting prep'd up to burn calories at Fitness First, and I heard one quote that truly struck me to pieces. Grease Lightning my butt.
The quote was.. "You don't have the right to point out the mistakes of others if you, yourself, can't even correct your own."
It was more than correct. And precise. And true. AND REALISTIC, to my part, that is.
Let me admit, I DO BACKSTAB PEOPLE. But there are choices I have to go through before I backstab one.
She or He...
-should be dumber than my dog
-should be really, really, really obnoxious to the point that THAT person's way more obnoxious than me already.
-should be a hardcore go getta.
-should be on my "PEOPLE TO KILL WHEN I DOMINATE THE WORLD LIST"
-should be a player.
-should piss my ass off
-should criticize me
-should tell people how fat my ass can get
-should be kind to me, in a way that it's really disturbing already.
So, watch out, b*tches.
---------------
GAAH! That first two parts of this blog post was really something.
And so, as I was saying, I went to Fitness First lately. I studied, and answered our Physics take home test. Huh. I laughed my head out yesterday when Sir Jeff told us that our test 2 in his subject would be taken home. Didn't he know that we can cheat?
God, he really knew what he just did. The Physics take home test was a real headache. I thought that my migraine was just caused by the HOTTA HOT HOT weather outside. But no. It was caused by how the hell should I know what time would Plane A overtake Plane B.
And so, as I was punching numbers on my quasi-broken calculator, THE TRAINER approached me. Mixed feelings, again. And again. And again.
It has been weeks since our first session. I then remembered how crazy I would always get every time we talked and laughed and stuff. I would go gaga over his muscular build, and his pearly whites.
Well, it all just stopped.
Anyways, he approached me. Then he asked what was I doing. Then I showed him my Plane-A-overtaking-Plane-B calculations. He said he was amazed. Then he told me that he hated Physics. Yeah, like I need to know that from my bisexual trainer.
Let me explain. When you seem to be dwelling for someone, your past is all forgotten. It's all what's happening now. Look now. No more psychedelic feelings for my gay trainer.
-------------------
Have I told you what happened LAST Friday? Yeah well I can't. Monica would definitely kill me if I did.
But here's the low-down. Now I understand why some friends can't get along with their friend's significant lover. It's either me, or it's definitely me.
-------------------
So, what's with the love starter? I don't know. Like most of you guys, I also think that I'm a creature invulnerable to that stupid love cherub(Cupid, for you dumb-asses). Like I've said before, I don't deserve to love. People as obnoxious and repulsive and as fat as me don't have the right to. We can only love ourselves, and God, for those of you who aren't as God-forbidding as I am.
But what the hell did The Big Guy told that love gremlin to do again? Yes. The stupid love cherub got me in the chokehold. I'm not even supposed to be chokeholded, but ugh. Look what He just did. No way it's going to be MY fault.
But, whatever. Wish me bad luck.
------------
I woke up early today to go to the gym, but it's too early anyway so I opened Mac and wrote these thoughts that are stuck somewhere in my foot.
I was listening to Chico and Delamar while getting prep'd up to burn calories at Fitness First, and I heard one quote that truly struck me to pieces. Grease Lightning my butt.
The quote was.. "You don't have the right to point out the mistakes of others if you, yourself, can't even correct your own."
It was more than correct. And precise. And true. AND REALISTIC, to my part, that is.
Let me admit, I DO BACKSTAB PEOPLE. But there are choices I have to go through before I backstab one.
She or He...
-should be dumber than my dog
-should be really, really, really obnoxious to the point that THAT person's way more obnoxious than me already.
-should be a hardcore go getta.
-should be on my "PEOPLE TO KILL WHEN I DOMINATE THE WORLD LIST"
-should be a player.
-should piss my ass off
-should criticize me
-should tell people how fat my ass can get
-should be kind to me, in a way that it's really disturbing already.
So, watch out, b*tches.
---------------
GAAH! That first two parts of this blog post was really something.
And so, as I was saying, I went to Fitness First lately. I studied, and answered our Physics take home test. Huh. I laughed my head out yesterday when Sir Jeff told us that our test 2 in his subject would be taken home. Didn't he know that we can cheat?
God, he really knew what he just did. The Physics take home test was a real headache. I thought that my migraine was just caused by the HOTTA HOT HOT weather outside. But no. It was caused by how the hell should I know what time would Plane A overtake Plane B.
And so, as I was punching numbers on my quasi-broken calculator, THE TRAINER approached me. Mixed feelings, again. And again. And again.
It has been weeks since our first session. I then remembered how crazy I would always get every time we talked and laughed and stuff. I would go gaga over his muscular build, and his pearly whites.
Well, it all just stopped.
Anyways, he approached me. Then he asked what was I doing. Then I showed him my Plane-A-overtaking-Plane-B calculations. He said he was amazed. Then he told me that he hated Physics. Yeah, like I need to know that from my bisexual trainer.
Let me explain. When you seem to be dwelling for someone, your past is all forgotten. It's all what's happening now. Look now. No more psychedelic feelings for my gay trainer.
-------------------
Have I told you what happened LAST Friday? Yeah well I can't. Monica would definitely kill me if I did.
But here's the low-down. Now I understand why some friends can't get along with their friend's significant lover. It's either me, or it's definitely me.
-------------------
Monday, May 07, 2007
Back To Anglais.
My laptop's pissing me off. For some reasons, I really feel uncomfortable with having the USB and Gigabit Ports on my left, while the DVD drive is on my right. It's very much unbalanced. I wish Mr. Jobs can read this, and switch some ports to the right.
Oh wow. I thought my laptop's half-dead, right? Yeah well it's really working after all, but the catch is you have to use the MagSafe Power Adapter in order to use it because the battery is still drained.
-------------------
My insomnia is getting better. I can now sleep for a couple of hours. I guess I have to thank the review classes for this. I mean, if it weren't for them, my eyes would've looked like an aching reproductive organ or something.
I don't know why I enjoy studying. I get this good feeling every time I get to understand something. I guess that's what studyholics like me gets. Don't you guys ever feel it? It gives you a sense of fulfillment, like you've done something Nobel Prize-worthy.
I remember telling Janrae yesterday that I'm ugly and fugly and fat. I remember telling him that in order to make up for the ugliness of my outer being, I am studying my crappy ass off every night. Well, I guess I'm right after all, am I? You don't get the respect you want as a human being if you're not good-looking or smart. You don't get accepted in reality if you can't depend on something you have, which people can be insecure of.
Isn't it good and fun if we just all act like Mr. Bean? I mean, we definitely should be like him. Not trying hard to be funny, and not insecure of anything.
Sometimes reality's secrets can be our help towards the right thing. I wish those secrets aren't hidden in secrecy, by which only a couple of chosen people can only find. I wish all people can find it, so as to say.
------------------------
Did you know that Albert Einstein didn't pass his entrance exam at the Swiss Federal Polytechnical School? I wish I can have the same fate. But the crappy catch is that he passed that math and science parts, but failed the Geography, History, and English parts. God, is it ironic, or what?
I bet there's no more modern life Einstein's left. If there is, then the whole world will be bombarded with atomic bombs every single day. No kidding. It was Einstein's idea that struck US during the World War 2 to make this bomb with purified Uranium-235, which can be used to make the atomic bomb per se.
Well, that idea of Einstein truly made him a cold-blooded traitor. He's German, right? Well, trusting yourself to your country's opponent is the most crucial thing a genius can do.
If I was in Albert Einstein's place, would I have done the same thing too? Hell yeah, but in one nifty condition. They have to execute ALL fast food owners and dealers except for Taco Bell. The world can't exist without CrunchWrap's and lunch burritos.
I wish my parietal operculum is missing too. And then my IQ would be as high as Hitler's and I'm going to execute all those good-looking people who makes us ugly geeks feel bad about ourselves. But you have to really bow down before me before I would do that.
-------------------------
While I was peeling the skin of an Indian mango yesterday while watching TV, I accidentally scraped a little bit of my thumb skin off. It started to bleed haphazardly, and all I did was to stare at it.
I can't usually do this. Cutting and staring at a bleeding scar, I mean. Something's wrong with my brain again. Is it missing? Oh, I know. It stopped rotating to an unknown angle ever since yesterday. Huh. Chemicals are coming out...laughing without reason..Aw men. I'm in love again.
-----------------------
Oh wow. I thought my laptop's half-dead, right? Yeah well it's really working after all, but the catch is you have to use the MagSafe Power Adapter in order to use it because the battery is still drained.
-------------------
My insomnia is getting better. I can now sleep for a couple of hours. I guess I have to thank the review classes for this. I mean, if it weren't for them, my eyes would've looked like an aching reproductive organ or something.
I don't know why I enjoy studying. I get this good feeling every time I get to understand something. I guess that's what studyholics like me gets. Don't you guys ever feel it? It gives you a sense of fulfillment, like you've done something Nobel Prize-worthy.
I remember telling Janrae yesterday that I'm ugly and fugly and fat. I remember telling him that in order to make up for the ugliness of my outer being, I am studying my crappy ass off every night. Well, I guess I'm right after all, am I? You don't get the respect you want as a human being if you're not good-looking or smart. You don't get accepted in reality if you can't depend on something you have, which people can be insecure of.
Isn't it good and fun if we just all act like Mr. Bean? I mean, we definitely should be like him. Not trying hard to be funny, and not insecure of anything.
Sometimes reality's secrets can be our help towards the right thing. I wish those secrets aren't hidden in secrecy, by which only a couple of chosen people can only find. I wish all people can find it, so as to say.
------------------------
Did you know that Albert Einstein didn't pass his entrance exam at the Swiss Federal Polytechnical School? I wish I can have the same fate. But the crappy catch is that he passed that math and science parts, but failed the Geography, History, and English parts. God, is it ironic, or what?
I bet there's no more modern life Einstein's left. If there is, then the whole world will be bombarded with atomic bombs every single day. No kidding. It was Einstein's idea that struck US during the World War 2 to make this bomb with purified Uranium-235, which can be used to make the atomic bomb per se.
Well, that idea of Einstein truly made him a cold-blooded traitor. He's German, right? Well, trusting yourself to your country's opponent is the most crucial thing a genius can do.
If I was in Albert Einstein's place, would I have done the same thing too? Hell yeah, but in one nifty condition. They have to execute ALL fast food owners and dealers except for Taco Bell. The world can't exist without CrunchWrap's and lunch burritos.
I wish my parietal operculum is missing too. And then my IQ would be as high as Hitler's and I'm going to execute all those good-looking people who makes us ugly geeks feel bad about ourselves. But you have to really bow down before me before I would do that.
-------------------------
While I was peeling the skin of an Indian mango yesterday while watching TV, I accidentally scraped a little bit of my thumb skin off. It started to bleed haphazardly, and all I did was to stare at it.
I can't usually do this. Cutting and staring at a bleeding scar, I mean. Something's wrong with my brain again. Is it missing? Oh, I know. It stopped rotating to an unknown angle ever since yesterday. Huh. Chemicals are coming out...laughing without reason..Aw men. I'm in love again.
-----------------------
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Filipinow
Bilang 101st post ko, mag-tatagalog naman ako. I mean Filipino. Baka sabunutan na ko ni Gng. Are or Bb. Pena o kung sino mang guro sa Filipino dahil lang don.
Nakakapan-lambot ang lintek na review class namin kanina. Kala ko eh nanlambot na ko dun last Wednesday, pero anak naman ng tupa o! May lalambot pa pala dun! Bwiset na Math 2 yan. Na-gegets ko naman, kaso gets nyo ba? Nakakairita lang pag boring yung instructor kase ang boring na ng lahat. Hindi ko nga ma-imagine na posible yung ganong event. Yung tipong boring instructor, lively class, at boring class naman sa lively instructor. Hindi mangyayari ever yon kase WALANG LIVELY NA INSTRUCTOR. Kahit ipagdiinan mo pa na meron, Aantok-antukin ka rin sa isa every now and then. (we find a special friend)
Natutuwa ako kay Mr. Bean. Sya na ngayon ang idol ko. Kase naman, hindi na-iinsecure yung weirdong yun. Sana eh ganun na lang palagi. Kung hindi tayo na-iinsecure lahat eh di walang suicidal na mag-eexist sa inner self natin. Parang AKO. Pero excuse me, hindi na ako suicidal. Depende.
-----------------
Usapang Musika.
Hindi ako natutuwa sa paggawa ni Avril Lavigne ng mga iba't-ibang versions ng Girlfriend. Oo, tae. Multi-lingual, dapat eh gusto ko yun. Kaso bwiset eh. Di naman ka-tono! Parang yung kina-kainisan namin ni Charlene sa mga kanta. Yung pinagpipilitan isik-sik yung mga lyrics sa isang tono ng isang line. Yung parang 'cristocentric pascha; spiritualiteeee' na parte na ng aming buhay sa aming napaka-gandang paaralan. Basta. Ma-gegets nyo din.
Buti na lang eh lalaking maitim ang kumanta ng This is Why I'm Hot. Imaginin nyo na lang kung babae yon. Bwiset. Siguro natuloy ako sa pagpapakamatay. Grabe. Pati sa kanta eh gusto pa rin ako i-insecure.
Nakakatawa yung tagalog version ng Girlfriend na ginawa ni Chico Garcia at Delamar sa radyo, dun sa show nila pag umaga na ang tawag eh The Morning Rush. Eto yung natatandaan kong lyrics. Pagbigyan na kung medyo malabo-labo. Alam nyo naman kasing-laki na ng katawan ko ang Memory Gap ko e.
"Hey Hey You You mukhang bakla ang syota mo! No way no way, kailangan mo ng bago!"
Di ko na matandaan yung isa eh. Tanong nyo si Monica o yung nanay nya.
Pag mabagal na ba ang tingin mo sa isang kanta eh ibig sabihin nun eh laos na yun? Kase nung nag 8 waves kami, tapos andun ako sa cottage at nag-iiPod tapos pinapakinggan ko ung Last Night ni Diddy at Keyshia Cole na sobrang favorite song ko talaga kahit kelan, parang ayun. Bumagal. "Laaaaaaaast Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...I cooooooooouldn't get aaaaan ansaaaaaaah". Akala ko eh may something sa iPod ko, o tapos wala naman. Dala ata ng sobrang pagka-bore yun eh. Anak ng taeng 8 waves kase yan. Di ko nga na-enjoy kase andaming umeepal.
Aba. Lasing na ata talaga ko. Parang gumagalaw ang aking telepono mag-isa! hala!
---------------------------
Usapang Pelikula.
Ayoko ng Spiderman 3, o anu mang Spiderman. Dati, oo. Kaso na-figure out ko ngang gaya-gaya nga lang si Peter Parker kay Clark Kent. Pa-nerd, hindi naman nerd. Ok sana kung nerd hottie eh, as in magaling sa Physics at Calculus o anu mang subject na nakaka-appeal saken. Kaso hinde! In real life, ka-level nya si Erwin Tulfo na mas mababa ang rank by 50%. O di ba? Asan na ang nerd? Wala na!
Pareho ba ang DC Comics at Marvel Comics? Ay bobo. Hindi pala. Anu nga bang pinagka-iba ng DC sa Marvel? Ganto yon, ang mga taga DC eh mahilig mag-suot ng mga suot-panloob sa labas. Parang si Superman. May red trunks/briefs sa labas, may sinturon pa! Sobrang durability talaga ang in-ensure ni Jerry Seigel at Joe Shuster sa salwal nya. Bakit kaya? Ewan. Feeling ko eh para lang ma-emphasize ang matambok nyang legs. Kala mo kung ano, noh? Bastos mo!
Gusto kong mapanod ang Shrek 3. Sabi ng nanay ko eh kasing-taba ko daw si ogre Fiona. Grabe mehn. Kamukha kaya ni Rielle yun. No way magkasing-taba kami nun. Natutuwa rin ako kay Puss in Boots. Sana eh realistic characters na lang sila lahat para masaya ang buhay. Pano kaya yun no? May halimaw kang kapitbahay na may pet na donkey na ubod ng daldal. Di ko na siguro kailangan manod pa ng mga comedy shows nun. Bawat araw ng buhay ko eh masaya dahil sa kanila. Tapos may siraulong pusang naka-boots na kalaro si Sweetie. Ay! Ang cute.
Nakakatuwa talaga yung Mr. Bean's Holiday. Malakas lang cguro ang appeal ni Mr. Bean saken. May isang part dun na nakakatawa talaga kase ni-lilip synch nya yung isang religious na kanta (as in Latin talaga yung lyrics), tas ni-rereenact nya kasama yung batang sumama sa kanya. Hanep sa benta. Halos umiyak ata ko nun sa kakatawa. Pero guess what, inulit nila un nung last scene na, as in happy ending stuff na. Tas hindi na nakakatuwa, kase silang lahat na yung nag-lilip synch nung lintek na kantang yun. Kailangan si Mr. Bean lang.
Hindi ko pa rin alam kung bakit na-aakwardan ako pag nahuhuli ako ng nanay kong manod ng mga morbid w/sex films tulad ng Turistas. I mean, ilang linggo na rin naman eh considered na legal na ako sa ilang bansa tulad ng Amerika eh. Tsaka hello? Ilang beses na ba ko nahulihan ng porn cd's na di ko naman pinapanod at pinapatago lang naman ng mga ugok kong kaibigan? Bwiset eh no. Tas di pa ko mature sa lagay na yon.
May nakakairitang scene dun sa Turistas na pag naiisip ko eh nag-huhurl na lang ako. Alam nyo ba yun? Kase yung kaibigan nilang Brazilian eh tumalon pababa dun sa tubig na may falls and stuff. Eh di malamang mabato dun. Kaya ayon, na-bagok ang bungo nya. Duguan, pare. Binuhat sya ng mga kaibigan nya papunta dun sa bahay nung uncle nung Brazilian na nasa tuktok ng bundok. Tapos mga siraulo't mangmang nga naman, nakakita sila ng giant stapler at ginamit nila yong pang-sara dun sa open wound nung kawawang Brazilian. Mga bobo pala eh no. Sana eh ski-notch tape na lang nila o dinilaan. At least mababawasan pa yung bloody stuff. Sobrang kabobohan eh.
Ever since napanod ko ung Fast Food Nation eh di na ko napakain ng Burger McDo or Yum! Burger ng Jolilibee or anu mang burger ng isang fast food. Sabi kase dun sa movie eh hindi malinis ung mga beef at may halo pang cow manure. Ibig sabihin eh may tae na ang kinakain natin. Pwet naman. Alam ko namang madumi na lahat ng pagkain sa mundo eh. Ok lang kahit pinesteng gulay na lang ang kainin ko buong buhay ko, pero karneng may tae? Sobra na yun eh. Desperado. Kahit nga ung mga mahihirap eh di kumakain non, pano pa kaya ung mga taga-middle class? Sarap na sarap ata sila sa tae ng baka.
Hanggang Chicken Burger na lang ata ako ng McDo e. Yum.
------------------------
Usapang Pag-ibig
Wala akong masabi. HINDI NA KO IN-LOVE EH. NAWALA NA. ANAK NG TUPA!
------------------------
cge. ayun lang. bye.
Nakakapan-lambot ang lintek na review class namin kanina. Kala ko eh nanlambot na ko dun last Wednesday, pero anak naman ng tupa o! May lalambot pa pala dun! Bwiset na Math 2 yan. Na-gegets ko naman, kaso gets nyo ba? Nakakairita lang pag boring yung instructor kase ang boring na ng lahat. Hindi ko nga ma-imagine na posible yung ganong event. Yung tipong boring instructor, lively class, at boring class naman sa lively instructor. Hindi mangyayari ever yon kase WALANG LIVELY NA INSTRUCTOR. Kahit ipagdiinan mo pa na meron, Aantok-antukin ka rin sa isa every now and then. (we find a special friend)
Natutuwa ako kay Mr. Bean. Sya na ngayon ang idol ko. Kase naman, hindi na-iinsecure yung weirdong yun. Sana eh ganun na lang palagi. Kung hindi tayo na-iinsecure lahat eh di walang suicidal na mag-eexist sa inner self natin. Parang AKO. Pero excuse me, hindi na ako suicidal. Depende.
-----------------
Usapang Musika.
Hindi ako natutuwa sa paggawa ni Avril Lavigne ng mga iba't-ibang versions ng Girlfriend. Oo, tae. Multi-lingual, dapat eh gusto ko yun. Kaso bwiset eh. Di naman ka-tono! Parang yung kina-kainisan namin ni Charlene sa mga kanta. Yung pinagpipilitan isik-sik yung mga lyrics sa isang tono ng isang line. Yung parang 'cristocentric pascha; spiritualiteeee' na parte na ng aming buhay sa aming napaka-gandang paaralan. Basta. Ma-gegets nyo din.
Buti na lang eh lalaking maitim ang kumanta ng This is Why I'm Hot. Imaginin nyo na lang kung babae yon. Bwiset. Siguro natuloy ako sa pagpapakamatay. Grabe. Pati sa kanta eh gusto pa rin ako i-insecure.
Nakakatawa yung tagalog version ng Girlfriend na ginawa ni Chico Garcia at Delamar sa radyo, dun sa show nila pag umaga na ang tawag eh The Morning Rush. Eto yung natatandaan kong lyrics. Pagbigyan na kung medyo malabo-labo. Alam nyo naman kasing-laki na ng katawan ko ang Memory Gap ko e.
"Hey Hey You You mukhang bakla ang syota mo! No way no way, kailangan mo ng bago!"
Di ko na matandaan yung isa eh. Tanong nyo si Monica o yung nanay nya.
Pag mabagal na ba ang tingin mo sa isang kanta eh ibig sabihin nun eh laos na yun? Kase nung nag 8 waves kami, tapos andun ako sa cottage at nag-iiPod tapos pinapakinggan ko ung Last Night ni Diddy at Keyshia Cole na sobrang favorite song ko talaga kahit kelan, parang ayun. Bumagal. "Laaaaaaaast Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...I cooooooooouldn't get aaaaan ansaaaaaaah". Akala ko eh may something sa iPod ko, o tapos wala naman. Dala ata ng sobrang pagka-bore yun eh. Anak ng taeng 8 waves kase yan. Di ko nga na-enjoy kase andaming umeepal.
Aba. Lasing na ata talaga ko. Parang gumagalaw ang aking telepono mag-isa! hala!
---------------------------
Usapang Pelikula.
Ayoko ng Spiderman 3, o anu mang Spiderman. Dati, oo. Kaso na-figure out ko ngang gaya-gaya nga lang si Peter Parker kay Clark Kent. Pa-nerd, hindi naman nerd. Ok sana kung nerd hottie eh, as in magaling sa Physics at Calculus o anu mang subject na nakaka-appeal saken. Kaso hinde! In real life, ka-level nya si Erwin Tulfo na mas mababa ang rank by 50%. O di ba? Asan na ang nerd? Wala na!
Pareho ba ang DC Comics at Marvel Comics? Ay bobo. Hindi pala. Anu nga bang pinagka-iba ng DC sa Marvel? Ganto yon, ang mga taga DC eh mahilig mag-suot ng mga suot-panloob sa labas. Parang si Superman. May red trunks/briefs sa labas, may sinturon pa! Sobrang durability talaga ang in-ensure ni Jerry Seigel at Joe Shuster sa salwal nya. Bakit kaya? Ewan. Feeling ko eh para lang ma-emphasize ang matambok nyang legs. Kala mo kung ano, noh? Bastos mo!
Gusto kong mapanod ang Shrek 3. Sabi ng nanay ko eh kasing-taba ko daw si ogre Fiona. Grabe mehn. Kamukha kaya ni Rielle yun. No way magkasing-taba kami nun. Natutuwa rin ako kay Puss in Boots. Sana eh realistic characters na lang sila lahat para masaya ang buhay. Pano kaya yun no? May halimaw kang kapitbahay na may pet na donkey na ubod ng daldal. Di ko na siguro kailangan manod pa ng mga comedy shows nun. Bawat araw ng buhay ko eh masaya dahil sa kanila. Tapos may siraulong pusang naka-boots na kalaro si Sweetie. Ay! Ang cute.
Nakakatuwa talaga yung Mr. Bean's Holiday. Malakas lang cguro ang appeal ni Mr. Bean saken. May isang part dun na nakakatawa talaga kase ni-lilip synch nya yung isang religious na kanta (as in Latin talaga yung lyrics), tas ni-rereenact nya kasama yung batang sumama sa kanya. Hanep sa benta. Halos umiyak ata ko nun sa kakatawa. Pero guess what, inulit nila un nung last scene na, as in happy ending stuff na. Tas hindi na nakakatuwa, kase silang lahat na yung nag-lilip synch nung lintek na kantang yun. Kailangan si Mr. Bean lang.
Hindi ko pa rin alam kung bakit na-aakwardan ako pag nahuhuli ako ng nanay kong manod ng mga morbid w/sex films tulad ng Turistas. I mean, ilang linggo na rin naman eh considered na legal na ako sa ilang bansa tulad ng Amerika eh. Tsaka hello? Ilang beses na ba ko nahulihan ng porn cd's na di ko naman pinapanod at pinapatago lang naman ng mga ugok kong kaibigan? Bwiset eh no. Tas di pa ko mature sa lagay na yon.
May nakakairitang scene dun sa Turistas na pag naiisip ko eh nag-huhurl na lang ako. Alam nyo ba yun? Kase yung kaibigan nilang Brazilian eh tumalon pababa dun sa tubig na may falls and stuff. Eh di malamang mabato dun. Kaya ayon, na-bagok ang bungo nya. Duguan, pare. Binuhat sya ng mga kaibigan nya papunta dun sa bahay nung uncle nung Brazilian na nasa tuktok ng bundok. Tapos mga siraulo't mangmang nga naman, nakakita sila ng giant stapler at ginamit nila yong pang-sara dun sa open wound nung kawawang Brazilian. Mga bobo pala eh no. Sana eh ski-notch tape na lang nila o dinilaan. At least mababawasan pa yung bloody stuff. Sobrang kabobohan eh.
Ever since napanod ko ung Fast Food Nation eh di na ko napakain ng Burger McDo or Yum! Burger ng Jolilibee or anu mang burger ng isang fast food. Sabi kase dun sa movie eh hindi malinis ung mga beef at may halo pang cow manure. Ibig sabihin eh may tae na ang kinakain natin. Pwet naman. Alam ko namang madumi na lahat ng pagkain sa mundo eh. Ok lang kahit pinesteng gulay na lang ang kainin ko buong buhay ko, pero karneng may tae? Sobra na yun eh. Desperado. Kahit nga ung mga mahihirap eh di kumakain non, pano pa kaya ung mga taga-middle class? Sarap na sarap ata sila sa tae ng baka.
Hanggang Chicken Burger na lang ata ako ng McDo e. Yum.
------------------------
Usapang Pag-ibig
Wala akong masabi. HINDI NA KO IN-LOVE EH. NAWALA NA. ANAK NG TUPA!
------------------------
cge. ayun lang. bye.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Grave Wonders
Happy 100th post, bloggy! I'm such a proud momma right now.
As a celebration, let me treat myself to a heavy and hard liquor night tomorrow. Now how about that?
---------------------
Review classes started yesterday. We arrived early enough to criticize the place and the people. All I can say is, it's okay. Okay, as in not good, not bad.
It was really a bad idea to NOT sleep the night before. It's not my fault my insomnia kicked in again.
Wanna hear another bad idea? Math 1 was our first session! Dammit! I was practically mid-sleeping during the discussion of slope intercept form. Thank goodness Mr. Russel's voice was so loud and I was in sitting in front. If it weren't for that, I would've been kicked out for being obnoxious and snoring out so loudly.
It was good. I mean, mom was right. Doing stock-knowledge-based tests is better off than playing PS2 all day long. Aside from the fact that my knowledge is regained, I get to accept mistakes per se. I stopped thinking that I can do all stuffs without supervision.
The only tests I was able to nail is Current Events, Logical Reasoning, and Filipino. Yeah, I was surprised too.
------------------------
God gave me a friend again. His name is Janrae, but I call him Lizzie, as in Lizzie McGuire, the sissy Hilary Duff bitch.
Let's see now, Janrae is a Mining Engineering junior from UP-Diliman. He can be very funny and be very intellectual. He gives me tips and enlightenments for the upcoming CET's. It's good. Having a very whimsical college friend like him should be a given.
I'm wondering why God is continuously giving me friends. Ever since I went down from that ol' mountain of depression, I've been having a kickin' social life. (Read: SOCIAL, not LOVE)
------------------------
Let's enrich our vocabulary, shall we?
I am Lorainne. I am very obdurate. Everybody finds it incredulous that I'm not enjoying my stay here on planet Earth. I hope to jostle into Kaka or Hugh Laurie someday, when I'm probably not sardonic enough to be called evil.
Ever since my suicidal days, I became so absurd in everyone's eyes. Well, am I not as absurd as I was before I reached the peak of my depression? My close friends have been helping me to the right way, but I am so ostentatious enough to deprive them away.
I am an introvert. I like being apathetic to life's musings. I can be very gawky, because I latent something that everyone needs to have in this god-stinking planet. And that is love.
Love can probably change my adverse, repulsive, and tart personality.
But guess what. Love ain't changing me.
The druggie, alcoholic, and God-I-Want-To-Smoke me.
I'm not taking coke, weed, E or Mary Jane, by the way. Just so you know the drugs I'm addicted to is safe steroids, which is not much of a danger anyway.
--------------------
As a celebration, let me treat myself to a heavy and hard liquor night tomorrow. Now how about that?
---------------------
Review classes started yesterday. We arrived early enough to criticize the place and the people. All I can say is, it's okay. Okay, as in not good, not bad.
It was really a bad idea to NOT sleep the night before. It's not my fault my insomnia kicked in again.
Wanna hear another bad idea? Math 1 was our first session! Dammit! I was practically mid-sleeping during the discussion of slope intercept form. Thank goodness Mr. Russel's voice was so loud and I was in sitting in front. If it weren't for that, I would've been kicked out for being obnoxious and snoring out so loudly.
It was good. I mean, mom was right. Doing stock-knowledge-based tests is better off than playing PS2 all day long. Aside from the fact that my knowledge is regained, I get to accept mistakes per se. I stopped thinking that I can do all stuffs without supervision.
The only tests I was able to nail is Current Events, Logical Reasoning, and Filipino. Yeah, I was surprised too.
------------------------
God gave me a friend again. His name is Janrae, but I call him Lizzie, as in Lizzie McGuire, the sissy Hilary Duff bitch.
Let's see now, Janrae is a Mining Engineering junior from UP-Diliman. He can be very funny and be very intellectual. He gives me tips and enlightenments for the upcoming CET's. It's good. Having a very whimsical college friend like him should be a given.
I'm wondering why God is continuously giving me friends. Ever since I went down from that ol' mountain of depression, I've been having a kickin' social life. (Read: SOCIAL, not LOVE)
------------------------
Let's enrich our vocabulary, shall we?
I am Lorainne. I am very obdurate. Everybody finds it incredulous that I'm not enjoying my stay here on planet Earth. I hope to jostle into Kaka or Hugh Laurie someday, when I'm probably not sardonic enough to be called evil.
Ever since my suicidal days, I became so absurd in everyone's eyes. Well, am I not as absurd as I was before I reached the peak of my depression? My close friends have been helping me to the right way, but I am so ostentatious enough to deprive them away.
I am an introvert. I like being apathetic to life's musings. I can be very gawky, because I latent something that everyone needs to have in this god-stinking planet. And that is love.
Love can probably change my adverse, repulsive, and tart personality.
But guess what. Love ain't changing me.
The druggie, alcoholic, and God-I-Want-To-Smoke me.
I'm not taking coke, weed, E or Mary Jane, by the way. Just so you know the drugs I'm addicted to is safe steroids, which is not much of a danger anyway.
--------------------
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Goodbye Ol' Summer.
Tch. Screw that 100th-post-on-my-birthday plan. This is probably my 99th anyway. Blame God for not giving me a writer's block.
This summer is truly something I would remember for some lame reasons. We went to a lot of places, which should make up for the summer time we wasted last year.
Let me say first that this blog is really, really, really not worth anything. Ok, so it's on the Top 50 best sites in the country according to one stupid website. But that's because I listed my blog there. It's like they don't even have a choice anyway.
--------------
BAGUIO TRIP
The horse's A-hole is a fun watch.
This is how foggy it can get when afternoon comes.
The gadgets I only used during the whole trip. I swear. No MacBook and iPods.
Stupid kids who can't appreciate the humongous fog outside.
The pets that proxy-ed Sweetie's presence.
This summer is truly something I would remember for some lame reasons. We went to a lot of places, which should make up for the summer time we wasted last year.
Let me say first that this blog is really, really, really not worth anything. Ok, so it's on the Top 50 best sites in the country according to one stupid website. But that's because I listed my blog there. It's like they don't even have a choice anyway.
--------------
BAGUIO TRIP
The horse's A-hole is a fun watch.
This is how foggy it can get when afternoon comes.
The gadgets I only used during the whole trip. I swear. No MacBook and iPods.
Stupid kids who can't appreciate the humongous fog outside.
The pets that proxy-ed Sweetie's presence.
The pictures are I posted here are few, I know. That's because some pictures are so explicit that nobody can see them.
--------------
8 WAVES TRIP
This trip is very nonsense. Don't ask. I didn't enjoy it. There are so many wannabe goofs in the lapping pool that I was only able to complete a lap of freestyle and breaststroke when closing time was near. Tch. Talk about swimming comebacks.
Nognog brother with our kasambahays.
The view from inside the cottage. The cottage became my sanctuary for God-Knows-How-Many hours, just so you know how dull I can get.
--------------
8 WAVES TRIP
This trip is very nonsense. Don't ask. I didn't enjoy it. There are so many wannabe goofs in the lapping pool that I was only able to complete a lap of freestyle and breaststroke when closing time was near. Tch. Talk about swimming comebacks.
Nognog brother with our kasambahays.
The view from inside the cottage. The cottage became my sanctuary for God-Knows-How-Many hours, just so you know how dull I can get.
God, look how fat I can get. I pity A for choosing me as his partner for life now. No more eating. No more eating.
---------------
Tomorrow is the day. The day summer will soon be just a dream. The day my brain will work again. The day I shall forget whatever I stupidly did this summer.
---------------
Adobe Photoshop.
What's in a name? (By which we call a rose? Ugh.)
It used to be so addicting for me to edit pictures and amaze my siblings and friends. It used to be so fun downloading brushes from DevianART or some googled website and try to just blot and blot and blot them off in a plain canvas in the Photoshop environment.
GAH. It used to be my hobby. By which it misleadingly made me choose the wrong GIFT course.
I was never creative. That's why the only field I would specialize in this kind of hobby is Image Correction, where I would erase pimples..change the color of someone's hair..cut off fat and much other simple stuffs that nobody would find amazing.
And now, I have to say goodbye to this hobby. I don't want to do some flimsy hobby wherein most people take part in. I want to do something anybody can't easily do. And no, bungee jumping is not in the list. I'm still suffering from Acrophobia. It would take me years(exaggeration included, of course) for someone to convince me to go up and down on that long and high escalator at Shang. Go ask Monica. I bet she died of humiliation just because her friend seemed so uncivilized.
It's a stupid syndrome. And it's really annoying. Can we be more proper? I mean, what's the point of changing things up if it's change NOT for the better?
That Me and You syndrome should better have a medicine or something.
---------------------
I was kinda considering into joining this blog into the Candy Teen Blog Awards 2007.
I failed one criteria.
Go figure what it is.
How the hell am I going to make this an eye-candy?
I need opinions.
No way I'm going to put any pink-colored STUFF in here.
---------------
Tomorrow is the day. The day summer will soon be just a dream. The day my brain will work again. The day I shall forget whatever I stupidly did this summer.
---------------
Adobe Photoshop.
What's in a name? (By which we call a rose? Ugh.)
It used to be so addicting for me to edit pictures and amaze my siblings and friends. It used to be so fun downloading brushes from DevianART or some googled website and try to just blot and blot and blot them off in a plain canvas in the Photoshop environment.
GAH. It used to be my hobby. By which it misleadingly made me choose the wrong GIFT course.
I was never creative. That's why the only field I would specialize in this kind of hobby is Image Correction, where I would erase pimples..change the color of someone's hair..cut off fat and much other simple stuffs that nobody would find amazing.
And now, I have to say goodbye to this hobby. I don't want to do some flimsy hobby wherein most people take part in. I want to do something anybody can't easily do. And no, bungee jumping is not in the list. I'm still suffering from Acrophobia. It would take me years(exaggeration included, of course) for someone to convince me to go up and down on that long and high escalator at Shang. Go ask Monica. I bet she died of humiliation just because her friend seemed so uncivilized.
Goodbye Editing.
---------------------
Dad and I made a good deal last night. The deal was, if he drinks another cognac or any other hard drink, I would go back into smoking.
Dad said it was a good deal.
I think so, too.
That sari-sari store in front of our house should be closed.
---------------------
I was reading Kuya Victor's blog lately.
God. He's amazing. He started blogging when he entered high school. And now, he's already an incoming senior at UP-Diliman, taking up BA Film and Audio-Visual Communication. He's one smart guy.
He's my current idol. Forget Hitler.
---------------------
bKt ngA b mHlig s Gn2 anG mGa pnOy sa pGttxt?
I don't know either.
But have you tried asking yourelf that stupid question? I'm sure it affects everyone in a different way. But he thing is, it's irritating. It's just like what Kuya Allan mentioned in his blog.
---------------------
Dad and I made a good deal last night. The deal was, if he drinks another cognac or any other hard drink, I would go back into smoking.
Dad said it was a good deal.
I think so, too.
That sari-sari store in front of our house should be closed.
---------------------
I was reading Kuya Victor's blog lately.
God. He's amazing. He started blogging when he entered high school. And now, he's already an incoming senior at UP-Diliman, taking up BA Film and Audio-Visual Communication. He's one smart guy.
He's my current idol. Forget Hitler.
---------------------
bKt ngA b mHlig s Gn2 anG mGa pnOy sa pGttxt?
I don't know either.
But have you tried asking yourelf that stupid question? I'm sure it affects everyone in a different way. But he thing is, it's irritating. It's just like what Kuya Allan mentioned in his blog.
It's a stupid syndrome. And it's really annoying. Can we be more proper? I mean, what's the point of changing things up if it's change NOT for the better?
That Me and You syndrome should better have a medicine or something.
---------------------
I was kinda considering into joining this blog into the Candy Teen Blog Awards 2007.
I failed one criteria.
Go figure what it is.
-
Read-worthy - 50%
The biggest chunk of your points will go to this. After all, we do visit blogs to read and view (if there are pictures!) them, right? Good blogs have interesting content and, let’s not forget, good grammar. ;-) Does your blog make your visitor want to read more?
-
Eye Candy - 25%
How well is your blog designed? Does your design tie up with your content? It’s everything about how you place your image headers, links, ads, etc. It’s all about the colors you use and the fonts, too. Does it look like a big confusing mess or an organized kind of clutter?
-
Consistency - 15%
How often do you update your content? It doesn’t mean that you do it everyday but you do update on a regular basis. Who would want to visit a blog that isn’t updated in a month, right?
-
Real Deal - 10%
How original is your site? From the design to the concept to the actual content, how much of is it is really yours? Pretty designs and graphics downloaded from other people can only take you so far, but engaging content made by you is what’s important.
I need opinions.
No way I'm going to put any pink-colored STUFF in here.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Mijn Lijst van de Wens van de Verjaardag
I know. I know. My birthday's not even THAT far, but I obviously need to tell people what they should give me on my birthday. If your gift is not on the list, I'll give it to my friend Trash. We have the same birthdays, as you people don't know.
But first, let's find out why my birthday is significant.
-------------------------------
I'm currently reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult.
It's sooo tragic. Reminds me of that Virginia Tech Massacre.
I haven't reached the half of it yet, but I've learned a lot of things already, like..
-Bad things keep happening because they are the only way that will remind us of what good things really are.
-In order to have happiness, you either have to improve reality, or lower your expectations.
So maybe these aren't really a lot, but they have already changed my perspective in life.
Try and read it. It's not as whimsy-flimsy as Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.
But first, let's find out why my birthday is significant.
- Did you know that Leo Blair, Tony Blair's son, shares the same birthday with me? He's 9 years younger than me though. Just do the math.
- Did you know that Cher and I share the same birthday? God, that's so cool. NOOT.
- Dis you know that President Abraham Lincoln signed the Homestead Act into a law on my birthday? I bet you guys actually know this. Homestead.....uh, yeah. It's that act about that land given to the American West.
- I want to have this relationship with my love to last forever.
- I want people to be less judgmental and stuff.
- I want to be smarter.
- I want to leave this stench-driven country for good. I want to live in Palau, Micronesia instead.
- I want to be skinny.
- I want to have more friends with the likes of Monica, Kyla, and Charlene.
- I want to be less repressed and more contumacious.
- I want a new cellphone. But dad says I can't, since iPhone hasn't hit the Asian racks yet. Damn. I still have to wait for Father Christmas. Ugh.
- I want to smoke.
- I want something that people can be insecure of.
- I want a new laptop.
- I want a new PSP.
- I want a Nike Core bag for my half-dead Mac.
- I want a new, Vista-Powered PC. Not that I like Windows now or something.
- I want to dissect my shih tzu pet. Seriously.
-------------------------------
I'm currently reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult.
It's sooo tragic. Reminds me of that Virginia Tech Massacre.
I haven't reached the half of it yet, but I've learned a lot of things already, like..
-Bad things keep happening because they are the only way that will remind us of what good things really are.
-In order to have happiness, you either have to improve reality, or lower your expectations.
So maybe these aren't really a lot, but they have already changed my perspective in life.
Try and read it. It's not as whimsy-flimsy as Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Trans-Fat and Decided
I've decided.
I will keep this layout.
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
This black layout really expresses my repressed and contumacious personality.
This one's for keeps.
-----------------------------------
Somebody should really kill me by now. I mean, really. Mom bought a box of glazed doughnuts from Krispy Kreme yesterday. And I did the nastiest and filthiest thing you can ever do when you're on a strict diet.
I ate one. One original glazed doughnut just destroyed my humanity.
Let's see now. One original glazed doughnut has 200 calories, 100 calories from fat, and 4 grams of fucking trans-fat.
Let's see again. With that amount of calories and trans-fats, it seems that I could've eaten a quarter of white rice, and a glass of Coke.
But damn. That doughnut was heaven. Yum Yum.
----------------------------------------
I knew it. There is a chemical you produce when you're in love. From what I've read in Cosmopolitan last night, there is this sort of chemical your body/brain exerts when you're high in love. This means that THAT chemical can be dangerous, because it can lead to your brain's misleading.
Being in love is like being addicted to drugs, as Ms. Stephanie Beltran said. You would have to do anything for your love, because your addicted. Your love is giving you the same love as my friend E here.
So, in conclusion, we don't need love from a person anymore. It's proven that weed and E can grow old with us. Weed and E would not cheat on us, nor would they play our emotions up. Weed and E will make us happy for the rest of our lives.
Weed and E can give the same love a lover can give you. But to my surprise, they can even give you much more intimacy.
I want to try Weed and E. I had enough of stupid players. Maybe they can give me the love that I've been searching for my whole life.
----------------------------------------------------
I don't know what course I'm going to take up next year. Ugh. I thought I've decided on International Studies, but I don't really think I would be able to find work that fast. I don't want to end up in a Call Center and be someone really horny.
I'm itching to take up Civil Engineering, or Electronics and Communications Engineering. Mom won't let me. She says that these courses aren't practical.
Well, what course is?
No way I'm going to take up Nursing. I'd rather die than be a nurse. I want to be a doctor instead. And then I'm going to end up like Dr Gregory House or something. A mean, problem-solving machine.
Ugh. Course picking is so hard. It's like deciding to have sex or not to have sex or something.
------------------------------------------------
I will keep this layout.
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
This black layout really expresses my repressed and contumacious personality.
This one's for keeps.
-----------------------------------
Somebody should really kill me by now. I mean, really. Mom bought a box of glazed doughnuts from Krispy Kreme yesterday. And I did the nastiest and filthiest thing you can ever do when you're on a strict diet.
I ate one. One original glazed doughnut just destroyed my humanity.
Let's see now. One original glazed doughnut has 200 calories, 100 calories from fat, and 4 grams of fucking trans-fat.
Let's see again. With that amount of calories and trans-fats, it seems that I could've eaten a quarter of white rice, and a glass of Coke.
But damn. That doughnut was heaven. Yum Yum.
----------------------------------------
I knew it. There is a chemical you produce when you're in love. From what I've read in Cosmopolitan last night, there is this sort of chemical your body/brain exerts when you're high in love. This means that THAT chemical can be dangerous, because it can lead to your brain's misleading.
Being in love is like being addicted to drugs, as Ms. Stephanie Beltran said. You would have to do anything for your love, because your addicted. Your love is giving you the same love as my friend E here.
So, in conclusion, we don't need love from a person anymore. It's proven that weed and E can grow old with us. Weed and E would not cheat on us, nor would they play our emotions up. Weed and E will make us happy for the rest of our lives.
Weed and E can give the same love a lover can give you. But to my surprise, they can even give you much more intimacy.
I want to try Weed and E. I had enough of stupid players. Maybe they can give me the love that I've been searching for my whole life.
----------------------------------------------------
I don't know what course I'm going to take up next year. Ugh. I thought I've decided on International Studies, but I don't really think I would be able to find work that fast. I don't want to end up in a Call Center and be someone really horny.
I'm itching to take up Civil Engineering, or Electronics and Communications Engineering. Mom won't let me. She says that these courses aren't practical.
Well, what course is?
No way I'm going to take up Nursing. I'd rather die than be a nurse. I want to be a doctor instead. And then I'm going to end up like Dr Gregory House or something. A mean, problem-solving machine.
Ugh. Course picking is so hard. It's like deciding to have sex or not to have sex or something.
------------------------------------------------
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Mac is Half-Dead
My MacBook's dead.
No, it's half-dead. And the only person that truly knows this is my dad, whom I've emailed hastily all the way through Poland just to save my baby. Oh yes. I just called that laptop my baby.
Ugh. Dad's no help. His PowerBook's battery was never drained.
Now how the hell did this happen?
Let's see now..I NEVER SHUT THE THING DOWN. I would always put it to sleep so I wouldn't begin from the start by opening it up again.
And it truly gave up last Wednesday night.
Looks like I need a new laptop after all.
---------------------------------------------
I was listening to The Morning Rush lately. Today's top 10 was all about those things to say to express your love to someone.
The top 2 really cracked me up.
"206 lang pala ang bones mo. Gusto mo dagdagan ko?"
Green jokes are fun. They can be really private that it's hard to tell if they are a joke.
Green jokes never fail to make my day.
---------------------------------------------
This is the last Friday of the month, and the last Friday of this summer that I would celebrate my freedom.
Friday of next week, I would be studying my ass off at Katipunan.
Sometimes it makes me wonder why I need to review for the CET's anyway.
Sometimes it makes me wonder why I'm even desperate to go to UP-Diliman anyway. I'm not much of a smart-ass. I just have a brain that spins off in an unknown angle and stops when I'm in love.
---------------------------------------------
I'm thinking of picking up the death stick again. All that smoke talk with my friend just gave way into Pepang Season again.
Now that I know what chemicals a cigarette is made of, I would just have to remove some of them that would be really hazardous to my health, like Nicotine or something. I don't want to end up like Dr. House, being addicted to Nicotine and all.
I read an article in a flirty-girly magazine that what I'm going through is perfectly normal and normal and normal.
Hinder to my mom's knowings, I went to a psychiatrist and burst out my feelings of suicide, drugs, alcohol, and cigarette. One thing's for sure. I want to try them all.
I don't really know what my problem is. I should be happy because all I want is given on a quick basis. I just found out that my IQ's a whopping 123. The only discrimination I have to go through is lookism in terms of body weight.
Maybe it's because nobody loves me. I mean, love love. Not brotherly or sisterly or motherly or fatherly or friendly love. But love love. A love that nobody, not even The Big Guy can give me.
Being agnostic is fun. You should try it. It makes you suicidal and stuff.
---------------------------------------
Thanks to Charlene, Adolf Hitler's my current love and idol.
Adolf Hitler just proved that you need a high IQ in order to kill millions of people and devastate the world.
His IQ's 141.
Damn. That evil monster's smart.
No, it's half-dead. And the only person that truly knows this is my dad, whom I've emailed hastily all the way through Poland just to save my baby. Oh yes. I just called that laptop my baby.
Ugh. Dad's no help. His PowerBook's battery was never drained.
Now how the hell did this happen?
Let's see now..I NEVER SHUT THE THING DOWN. I would always put it to sleep so I wouldn't begin from the start by opening it up again.
And it truly gave up last Wednesday night.
Looks like I need a new laptop after all.
---------------------------------------------
I was listening to The Morning Rush lately. Today's top 10 was all about those things to say to express your love to someone.
The top 2 really cracked me up.
"206 lang pala ang bones mo. Gusto mo dagdagan ko?"
Green jokes are fun. They can be really private that it's hard to tell if they are a joke.
Green jokes never fail to make my day.
---------------------------------------------
This is the last Friday of the month, and the last Friday of this summer that I would celebrate my freedom.
Friday of next week, I would be studying my ass off at Katipunan.
Sometimes it makes me wonder why I need to review for the CET's anyway.
Sometimes it makes me wonder why I'm even desperate to go to UP-Diliman anyway. I'm not much of a smart-ass. I just have a brain that spins off in an unknown angle and stops when I'm in love.
---------------------------------------------
I'm thinking of picking up the death stick again. All that smoke talk with my friend just gave way into Pepang Season again.
Now that I know what chemicals a cigarette is made of, I would just have to remove some of them that would be really hazardous to my health, like Nicotine or something. I don't want to end up like Dr. House, being addicted to Nicotine and all.
I read an article in a flirty-girly magazine that what I'm going through is perfectly normal and normal and normal.
Hinder to my mom's knowings, I went to a psychiatrist and burst out my feelings of suicide, drugs, alcohol, and cigarette. One thing's for sure. I want to try them all.
I don't really know what my problem is. I should be happy because all I want is given on a quick basis. I just found out that my IQ's a whopping 123. The only discrimination I have to go through is lookism in terms of body weight.
Maybe it's because nobody loves me. I mean, love love. Not brotherly or sisterly or motherly or fatherly or friendly love. But love love. A love that nobody, not even The Big Guy can give me.
Being agnostic is fun. You should try it. It makes you suicidal and stuff.
---------------------------------------
Thanks to Charlene, Adolf Hitler's my current love and idol.
Adolf Hitler just proved that you need a high IQ in order to kill millions of people and devastate the world.
His IQ's 141.
Damn. That evil monster's smart.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Nocturnal
My insomnia is getting worse every single day. I was used to sleeping late in the morning, like 5 am or so, but this time, that's not the case.
I literally and figuratively can't sleep. I mean, really. Not that I'm bragging, but the diameter of the dark circles of my eyes are getting really bigger. In fact, if you have time, you can get the length of the sector, which is that darker part, and get the whole area of the dark circle.
Ah, the wonders of Geometry. I hate it.
I get to sleep for only a couple of minutes, then I would wake up with my eyes looking like a she-male's reproductive organ.
Ugh. Squinting's bad. It would make your eyes look like your vagina. If you have it, that is.
Let's see. My astigmatism is also getting worse. My "lose some weight" project is also getting worse. My body's getting worse. And what's more?
My Screw-My-Birthday-Yeah-Forget -About-It-I-Don't-Like-Birthdays-Anyways-Would-It-Make-A-Difference-On-Mine-If-I-Care
-About-It Birthday.
Dad raised the question yesterday.
You know. The same, old question that parents or friends or anyone for that matter asks you when your birthday is just around the corner, spooking things up.
"What do you want for your birthday?"
Remember that time when I said to him that I want to die on my birthday? Well I only did that because dying on your birthday is the cutest thing ever. I mean, that would be so special. Your death anniversary's on your birthday? Wow. That's uber-cool, if you ask me.
Again, I told him that I don't want anything for my birthday. I got everything I wanted. MacBook 2.0 GHz, Snatch-Unworthy Cellphone, PSP, iPod Video, LinkSys router...What could I ask for? I'm feeling like Prince Charming on Cinderella already.
See, the most loserriffic thing you can ever ask for your birthday is a Physics textbook. I did that, and I'm studying it now. Oh Goody.
------------------------------------------
Anybody stuck on batch 1, 2, 3, and 4 of Weffriddles?
Anybody stuck on Chapters 1-2 of Grand Theft Auto Vice City Stories?
Anybody stuck on his/her home?
I've got spoilers for yah. Yah-dee-yaaaha.
-----------------------------------------
El Weirdo April's ending already. And where the hell is the layout of this blog?
Well, ImageReady got it all wrong. Blame him, not me.
The thing optimized the layout by itself WITHOUT my supervision. It's like seeing your child eating his/her poop without asking you if you want any.
-----------------------------------------
Jumpstart with Igi G. and Franchesca's word of the day today is circumspect.
Circumspect means cautious/careful.
I want to be more circumspect in choosing friends.
Awkward.
What a spoiler to my dilemma.
----------------------------------------
I literally and figuratively can't sleep. I mean, really. Not that I'm bragging, but the diameter of the dark circles of my eyes are getting really bigger. In fact, if you have time, you can get the length of the sector, which is that darker part, and get the whole area of the dark circle.
Ah, the wonders of Geometry. I hate it.
I get to sleep for only a couple of minutes, then I would wake up with my eyes looking like a she-male's reproductive organ.
Ugh. Squinting's bad. It would make your eyes look like your vagina. If you have it, that is.
Let's see. My astigmatism is also getting worse. My "lose some weight" project is also getting worse. My body's getting worse. And what's more?
My Screw-My-Birthday-Yeah-Forget -About-It-I-Don't-Like-Birthdays-Anyways-Would-It-Make-A-Difference-On-Mine-If-I-Care
-About-It Birthday.
Dad raised the question yesterday.
You know. The same, old question that parents or friends or anyone for that matter asks you when your birthday is just around the corner, spooking things up.
"What do you want for your birthday?"
Remember that time when I said to him that I want to die on my birthday? Well I only did that because dying on your birthday is the cutest thing ever. I mean, that would be so special. Your death anniversary's on your birthday? Wow. That's uber-cool, if you ask me.
Again, I told him that I don't want anything for my birthday. I got everything I wanted. MacBook 2.0 GHz, Snatch-Unworthy Cellphone, PSP, iPod Video, LinkSys router...What could I ask for? I'm feeling like Prince Charming on Cinderella already.
See, the most loserriffic thing you can ever ask for your birthday is a Physics textbook. I did that, and I'm studying it now. Oh Goody.
------------------------------------------
Anybody stuck on batch 1, 2, 3, and 4 of Weffriddles?
Anybody stuck on Chapters 1-2 of Grand Theft Auto Vice City Stories?
Anybody stuck on his/her home?
I've got spoilers for yah. Yah-dee-yaaaha.
-----------------------------------------
El Weirdo April's ending already. And where the hell is the layout of this blog?
Well, ImageReady got it all wrong. Blame him, not me.
The thing optimized the layout by itself WITHOUT my supervision. It's like seeing your child eating his/her poop without asking you if you want any.
-----------------------------------------
Jumpstart with Igi G. and Franchesca's word of the day today is circumspect.
Circumspect means cautious/careful.
I want to be more circumspect in choosing friends.
Awkward.
What a spoiler to my dilemma.
----------------------------------------
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
What What (In The Butt)
This video really made my day. As in really. I was so bummed out when I woke up this afternoon. I almost kicked Sweetie, our great shih tzu pet, down the stairs. Someone really pissed me off last night. And guess what, I didn't like it. What a surprise.
Go read the comments on this video on YouTube. It's really hilarious. Someone even said the video gave him AIDS. How pathetic. I bet that person already HAS AIDS. So unrealistic, so pathetic.
-------------------------------
I'm afraid I'll meet new friends next week.
GAH! Review classes. Next Week. Wednesday. Never-Ending Algebra.
I thought that my classmates in the review classes are all Paulinians, or moreover, my schoolmates. But, ugh, there are also other smurfs from other schools. Not that I'm complaining, but..you know. My Asperger's Syndrome might trigger a deadly attack again.
I've grown so accustomed in being with my friends. Or those people I would see in the corridors of my school. And I'm not used to seeing other people in the same classroom with me. I'll probably suffocate or something. It's either I go to those review classes, or suffer the consequences of studying in a non-existent university.
Truth is, Mariella's right about those review centers. They're just confidence-boosters. Anybody can probably ace that test if they're confident enough. Not overconfident, (remember my Geometry exam? AHH! The horror.) or not confident. Just plain, old, confident.
I guess I'm not confident enough. No, really. This blog maybe full of confident shiznits, but I'm squirming in real life.
Squirming? What the..? Squirming are for sissy b*tches!
I'm not a female dog. Just in case.
------------------------------------
"I wish I enrolled in AHEAD instead"
Now I wish I DIDN'T thought of this one. Ever. It just makes me realize how selfish I can get. How whimsy-flimsy I can be.
Expert Guides really wasn't my first choice. Actually, it's on the last slot. Dad told me I'll be reviewing in AHEAD because the probability of me passing on all the universities I would take a test on is higher. Big Deal. I just said whatever, and totally agreed upon it.
"When you feel all alone, it's a lie" (Sorry. Barbie Almalbis is singing at the background. She's wearing a gown, and she's doing a great job pissing my ass off.)
But when I later learned that Monica can't be on the same review center as I was, I became very condescended of myself.
Moreover, look on the bright side. I get to save 7,000 and I get two of these....
Linksys Wireless-G Broadband Router! Yess! Beat that, Starbucks and Robinson's Galleria! Wi-Fi hotspot my butt! My room is definitely and ultimately and conclusively the hottest Wi-fi hotspot on the dot. Ahh, the joys of wireless fidelity. There would be a time when everything would be wireless in my room because of the 2 powerhouse routers.
I bet even my bra would be wireless. Not that I'm complaining or anything. In fact, I'm wearing a bra with an under wire right now. I feel like Dr. Lisa Cuddy on that 'Lines in The Sand' episode in the 3rd season of House M.D..."It's an underwireee!"
I'm not really supposed to say that. But then again, what is not supposed to say these days?
---------------------------------------
I'm surprised to know that Jerika Arcadio has been reading this cow manure. Heck, I'm even surprised someone is reading this. I should put back that stupid and old BlogPatrol counter.
jerika.ü arcadio (4/23/2007 paragas 15:34): pnong gets? haha. putek ka, galing mo mgenglish!]
lorainne paragas (4/23/2007 paragas 15:34): mag-english saan?
jerika.ü arcadio (4/23/2007 paragas 15:35): sa blog mo
lorainne paragas (4/23/2007 paragas 15:35): salamat. wala. na-gets ko lang talaga siya. yun lang. sige bye
That is how you should talk to your classmate who has been good to you in your Junior year.
Well, thank you again.
----------------------------------------------
Is there something with love that makes you laugh a lot? Or am I just tad to crazy and psychotic?
Lover Boy (or so he would be named forever and ever in this blog) did the most mellifluous thing ever, which was to make me a starting layout for my blog.
"I created this one for you.." he said.
"Um. Ok. Thanks." I said
"Are you going to use it?" he asked.
"I don't know yet. I think I have to edit the filter you made, and the meta tags just got screwed..and it takes a dec-"
"Just say you won't use it. It's alright. I'll make you a better one. For votre anniversaire." he interrupted.
"You don't have to." I said before he would interrupt the hell out of me again.
"I want to." he said, then off to work he got.
See, Lover Boy is a friend. Not a quasi-friend, but a close friend of mine whom I've met in a nice way which I'm not going to say because you might use it to revile me or something.
I asked everyone what to do to break a boy's heart. But I guess Pj's idea is the only archetype that really worked.
He's already in Estados Unidos, but he said that he'll be waiting for me there. I told him that I want to study in University of California, San Diego. He said he wants to do the same thing.
But I guess I don't deserve to love and be happy. Look what the hell Bush just made. No more petitions. Goodbye mes rêves américains. :C
---------------------------------------------
And before I end this hogwash blog entry, I must say that John Locke was right about the happiness.
"It is a natural law that we have the right to pursue our own happiness"
Ergo, we don't have our own happiness. Happiness is something we can only pursue, but not have. It is only what we feel.
So I can now conclude to myself that I should stop searching for it. It's never going to come anyway.
-------------------------------------------
EVER.
Monday, April 23, 2007
April. Ape-real. Apeereel. Or Just Plain April
God. That new song by Maroon 5 is so stuck on me. The title is Make Me Wonder. And God, all of you, literally ALL OF YOU should add Adam Levine to your "Should Marry" list. The guy is scorching hot, and I know what hot really is. I'm living in Manila, dumbasses.
---------------------
" Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again."
-Dr. Gregory House
Hear Ye, Hear Ye.
---------------------
"You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic."
-Dr. Gregory House
Is House my long-lost soul mate, or what?
---------------------
There is something weird with April. April, as in the 4th month of every year. April, as in where Aries ends and Taurus starts. April, as in April Fool's day. April. April.
There really is something weird with April.
ZING!
I get it. It sounds boring as May. April and May sounds really boring.
It's unexplainable. You have to get that by now.
I hate boredom.
-----------------------------
I can't accept the fact that it's raining really hard on some regions of this stinky country. I have friends from other regions asking me to hug them because it's like snowing below there. Like hell I can. The only thing I can do is to kick their asses.
After gym last Wierdo Friday, I have to commute my way back into home because Mom can't fetch me. So, as always, I would go to the opposite side of the Wynsum Building and hail a cab. But something really is bizzare on that day. Instead of hailing a cab, I just stared upwards into the sky. I kinda felt that the world I'm in is rotating, and all I wanna do is just feel it.
You can tell I enjoyed feeling the rotation.
It lasted for a good 15 minutes.
Psychotic? NOT. God is obviously not talking to me.
------------------------------------
Sudoku is killing me. It's all I've been doing for the last 24 hours. I've bought 2 more issues of Sudoku Samurai when we went to Shopwise Libis last night to buy some boneless chicken shitznits. And I've finished the first issue already. Without looking at the solution. I swear I didn't look. You can tell I did not. I really swear I didn't. Promise.
-------------------------------------
[EDIT] I edited the font of this one for some obvious reasons. Go get a life to know what the hell it is.
---------------------
" Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again."
-Dr. Gregory House
Hear Ye, Hear Ye.
---------------------
"You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic."
-Dr. Gregory House
Is House my long-lost soul mate, or what?
---------------------
There is something weird with April. April, as in the 4th month of every year. April, as in where Aries ends and Taurus starts. April, as in April Fool's day. April. April.
There really is something weird with April.
ZING!
I get it. It sounds boring as May. April and May sounds really boring.
It's unexplainable. You have to get that by now.
I hate boredom.
-----------------------------
I can't accept the fact that it's raining really hard on some regions of this stinky country. I have friends from other regions asking me to hug them because it's like snowing below there. Like hell I can. The only thing I can do is to kick their asses.
After gym last Wierdo Friday, I have to commute my way back into home because Mom can't fetch me. So, as always, I would go to the opposite side of the Wynsum Building and hail a cab. But something really is bizzare on that day. Instead of hailing a cab, I just stared upwards into the sky. I kinda felt that the world I'm in is rotating, and all I wanna do is just feel it.
You can tell I enjoyed feeling the rotation.
It lasted for a good 15 minutes.
Psychotic? NOT. God is obviously not talking to me.
------------------------------------
Sudoku is killing me. It's all I've been doing for the last 24 hours. I've bought 2 more issues of Sudoku Samurai when we went to Shopwise Libis last night to buy some boneless chicken shitznits. And I've finished the first issue already. Without looking at the solution. I swear I didn't look. You can tell I did not. I really swear I didn't. Promise.
-------------------------------------
[EDIT] I edited the font of this one for some obvious reasons. Go get a life to know what the hell it is.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Cupid Chokehold.
Don't be surprised if I'm posting much more frequently nowadays. What could be the answer? Well for one, I'm bored, and I'm doing a blog marathon.
As of now, bloggy, this post is my 91st. Hooray. 9 more and we really are going to take over the world. But I'm not going to rush things up. I'm going to make sure that the 100th post would reside on my birthday, which is a month from yesterday. That sure would rock their heads off.
-------------------------------
Yesterday was a very, very, very, very, very, and overly weird day. I don't know if it's because of the fact that I arrived at the gym 3 hours late than my usual routine, which is at 8 am, or the fact that I'm overly nervous that I might see the trainer again.
I sure wasn't in the mood to workout yesterday. The hell. I didn't work out for 3 consecutive weeks. That's what stubborn turds like me gets. Thank God for Jay Leno. If The Tonight Show wasn't on that TV where my favorite treadmill spot is, I would've definitely dozed off in the lounge in an instant.
And so, when Tobey Maguire started praising the Skank Spiderwoman in the audience, I saw some familiar faces in front of me. And I said to myself, "What the hell are they doing here?". Damn, those people suckity suck. Of all Fitness First branches they should go, why (oh God, why) the Ortigas branch? This is my sanctuary already, and they really ruined it BIG TIME.
It's not my fault that I have Asperger's Syndrome, and I'm socially incapable of just saying hi to those skanks.
After that, I took a bath, and while I'm off to towelling my hair till it dries itself, these Koreans start shizniting my way up. While I'm reminded of the recent Virginia Tech murder, they go and start throwing their panties off. Oh God. It's literally thrown off. The panties, I mean. One was even on top of my bag. ON MY BAG. God, she didn't even saw that her wet panties is on my bag when she went for shower. Damn. I have to shake off my bag just for that thing to go off. Uugh.
Then on the way to the elevator, I saw the trainer on his way to the locker room. See, the stupidest thing you can do at that moment is walk really fast so he couldn't get through you. And guess what, I did the stupidest thing ever. Is that great, or what?
After sneaking pass through the trainer, I pushed the button on the wall for the elevator to come and rescue me. Waited for eternity,..then *ting* goes that irritating and crappy elevator sound. I go in, and another poser did.
Let's just say that WE GOT STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR FOR 1.5 HOURS. I'm not going to elaborate it more.
Christ, what a weird day.
-----------------------------------
The cupid got me in the chokehold again. And it wasn't oh-so nice.
-----------------------------------
I met a new friend today. His name is P.J. Well, whatever. If ever you're reading this now, I just want to say that I really like your voice. It sounds so Disc Jockey-y. Like Chico Garcia from The Morning Rush. I think Chico's gay.
As of now, bloggy, this post is my 91st. Hooray. 9 more and we really are going to take over the world. But I'm not going to rush things up. I'm going to make sure that the 100th post would reside on my birthday, which is a month from yesterday. That sure would rock their heads off.
-------------------------------
Yesterday was a very, very, very, very, very, and overly weird day. I don't know if it's because of the fact that I arrived at the gym 3 hours late than my usual routine, which is at 8 am, or the fact that I'm overly nervous that I might see the trainer again.
I sure wasn't in the mood to workout yesterday. The hell. I didn't work out for 3 consecutive weeks. That's what stubborn turds like me gets. Thank God for Jay Leno. If The Tonight Show wasn't on that TV where my favorite treadmill spot is, I would've definitely dozed off in the lounge in an instant.
And so, when Tobey Maguire started praising the Skank Spiderwoman in the audience, I saw some familiar faces in front of me. And I said to myself, "What the hell are they doing here?". Damn, those people suckity suck. Of all Fitness First branches they should go, why (oh God, why) the Ortigas branch? This is my sanctuary already, and they really ruined it BIG TIME.
It's not my fault that I have Asperger's Syndrome, and I'm socially incapable of just saying hi to those skanks.
After that, I took a bath, and while I'm off to towelling my hair till it dries itself, these Koreans start shizniting my way up. While I'm reminded of the recent Virginia Tech murder, they go and start throwing their panties off. Oh God. It's literally thrown off. The panties, I mean. One was even on top of my bag. ON MY BAG. God, she didn't even saw that her wet panties is on my bag when she went for shower. Damn. I have to shake off my bag just for that thing to go off. Uugh.
Then on the way to the elevator, I saw the trainer on his way to the locker room. See, the stupidest thing you can do at that moment is walk really fast so he couldn't get through you. And guess what, I did the stupidest thing ever. Is that great, or what?
After sneaking pass through the trainer, I pushed the button on the wall for the elevator to come and rescue me. Waited for eternity,..then *ting* goes that irritating and crappy elevator sound. I go in, and another poser did.
Let's just say that WE GOT STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR FOR 1.5 HOURS. I'm not going to elaborate it more.
Christ, what a weird day.
-----------------------------------
The cupid got me in the chokehold again. And it wasn't oh-so nice.
-----------------------------------
I met a new friend today. His name is P.J. Well, whatever. If ever you're reading this now, I just want to say that I really like your voice. It sounds so Disc Jockey-y. Like Chico Garcia from The Morning Rush. I think Chico's gay.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Wouldn't It Be Nice?
Wouldn't it be nice if:
1. I stop blogging, because nobody's reading and putting comments on everything I blab about?
2. Literally and figuratively, stop eating anything?
3. I'm like everybody else, normal-sized and cringes over her social life?
4. I'm not fat?
5. I'm smart and not a smart-ass?
6. I can have smaller thighs?
7. I can wear skinny jeans?
8. I can wear shorts?
9. I can wear skirts?
10. I would stop blabbing how people can be so smart and how I can be so dumb just because I can't go past through level 54.3 of Weffriddles?
11. I die?
12. I would sell all my gadgets or just give 'em off to the Philippine version of the Salvation Army?
13. I would have a rich and cool and good and nice and really really good and really really nice social life?
14. I can have a crush besides my swimming coach and my personal trainer?
15. I would stop getting so nervous about my last high school year?
16. I would perhaps live my last high school year?
17. I would pass UPCAT and study Civil Engineering or History like my busmate did?
18. I wouldn't think Boracay is too overrated and is becoming a very cheap image?
19. I would stop being too selfish?
20. I would stop being too sarcastic?
21. I would stop taking over people's lives just because mine is a living hell?
22. I would stop pretending to be someone else?
23. I would, perhaps, show the real me?
24. People would accept your mistakes?
25. People would be more realistic?
26. PGMA steps down FINALLY?
27. We would all know why the hell Campbell died?
28. Philippines would stop being such a Third World country?
29. We can all just pretend to be dumb?
30. I would have somebody to love...again?
31. I would stop rasing questions?
Nah. That wouldn't be really nice. Unreality is not nice. Things now are good the way they are.
See, if I change any of my bad traits above to something that would be nice to all people, then that wouldn't be me.
Thanks to Dr. Gregory House M.D. and Dr. Chase, I'm suicidal no more. *smiles contently*
--------------------------------------------------
Remember The Holy Grail ? Oh yes. My swimming coach I actually had a crush on last year.
Mayday! Mayday!
He's back. And no, not with a sexy back.
Monica was actually the first one to get to see him the first time this year. But nevertheless, I wasn't far as amused.
Let's review the reasons WHY.
Number one on the list, HE WAS THE REASON WHY I LOST IN THAT STUPID COMPETITION. My body's in good condition, and God, I've trained for 2 weeks restlessly! No way it's going to be MY fault.
Number two, HE MADE ME LOOK CHEAP. By falling for him, I guess.
Number three, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY I HATE HIM SO MUCH. That's what dumb people like me who fall for swimming coaches gets, I guess.
I saw him lately when Monica and I went to the clubhouse to wait for my mom to fetch us to go to our review center. What's new? His hair follicles on his head existed, the mole seems to be lost somewhere, and he's just a lifeguard now, not the goody-goody ol' macho-papa swimming coach that he was last year.
I hate the fact that I'm ignoring him just because he....did something wrong last year. LAST YEAR is the big word here. I can't forgive the guy and forget all of it. Well, that's the irony of everything.
He muttered hi, I ignored him.
The trainer said hi, I replied.
That's what papansin people gets. Die! Die! Die!
1. I stop blogging, because nobody's reading and putting comments on everything I blab about?
2. Literally and figuratively, stop eating anything?
3. I'm like everybody else, normal-sized and cringes over her social life?
4. I'm not fat?
5. I'm smart and not a smart-ass?
6. I can have smaller thighs?
7. I can wear skinny jeans?
8. I can wear shorts?
9. I can wear skirts?
10. I would stop blabbing how people can be so smart and how I can be so dumb just because I can't go past through level 54.3 of Weffriddles?
11. I die?
12. I would sell all my gadgets or just give 'em off to the Philippine version of the Salvation Army?
13. I would have a rich and cool and good and nice and really really good and really really nice social life?
14. I can have a crush besides my swimming coach and my personal trainer?
15. I would stop getting so nervous about my last high school year?
16. I would perhaps live my last high school year?
17. I would pass UPCAT and study Civil Engineering or History like my busmate did?
18. I wouldn't think Boracay is too overrated and is becoming a very cheap image?
19. I would stop being too selfish?
20. I would stop being too sarcastic?
21. I would stop taking over people's lives just because mine is a living hell?
22. I would stop pretending to be someone else?
23. I would, perhaps, show the real me?
24. People would accept your mistakes?
25. People would be more realistic?
26. PGMA steps down FINALLY?
27. We would all know why the hell Campbell died?
28. Philippines would stop being such a Third World country?
29. We can all just pretend to be dumb?
30. I would have somebody to love...again?
31. I would stop rasing questions?
Nah. That wouldn't be really nice. Unreality is not nice. Things now are good the way they are.
See, if I change any of my bad traits above to something that would be nice to all people, then that wouldn't be me.
Thanks to Dr. Gregory House M.D. and Dr. Chase, I'm suicidal no more. *smiles contently*
--------------------------------------------------
Remember The Holy Grail ? Oh yes. My swimming coach I actually had a crush on last year.
Mayday! Mayday!
He's back. And no, not with a sexy back.
Monica was actually the first one to get to see him the first time this year. But nevertheless, I wasn't far as amused.
Let's review the reasons WHY.
Number one on the list, HE WAS THE REASON WHY I LOST IN THAT STUPID COMPETITION. My body's in good condition, and God, I've trained for 2 weeks restlessly! No way it's going to be MY fault.
Number two, HE MADE ME LOOK CHEAP. By falling for him, I guess.
Number three, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY I HATE HIM SO MUCH. That's what dumb people like me who fall for swimming coaches gets, I guess.
I saw him lately when Monica and I went to the clubhouse to wait for my mom to fetch us to go to our review center. What's new? His hair follicles on his head existed, the mole seems to be lost somewhere, and he's just a lifeguard now, not the goody-goody ol' macho-papa swimming coach that he was last year.
I hate the fact that I'm ignoring him just because he....did something wrong last year. LAST YEAR is the big word here. I can't forgive the guy and forget all of it. Well, that's the irony of everything.
He muttered hi, I ignored him.
The trainer said hi, I replied.
That's what papansin people gets. Die! Die! Die!
Monday, April 09, 2007
Never-Ending Psycho Problems
Note to self:
NEVER EVER MAKE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHOM YOU'VE JUST MET THROUGH
SHORT MESSAGE SERVICE (SMS). GOD IT SUCKS.
It sucks more than knowing how 'pa-cool' your dad is getting everyday by spelling 'cool' as 'kewl'. How Skiboy will that be. Okay, okay, gobbledygook. But whatever your opinion would be on the upper-cased header and hard starter, I don't care. And no, I 'm not XXX's new asset.
It suckity suck like ass. One minute the person's friends with you, another minute he's not, and for another minute he's unbearable. That's like 3 minutes of hell. Divine Comedy in a box, ain't it?
---------------------------------------------
Someone. Must. Punish. Me. I've totally eaten like, a thousand calories yesterday and the other night. I'm losing it. Oh hell yeah I'm losing it.
I was probably shaken by the fact that crash dieting all ends to a yo-yo effect. In other words, if I lose fat today, I would definitely have it back tomorrow. Or worse - later.
And so, I'm eating. Not a good news, but I don't really want to gain all that weight I was able to lose this week. I don't know how to do that, but one thing's for sure. Our neighbor should stop selling Halo-Halo to an affordable price of 15 pesos. Crapity. And I'll probably cough out my brain and lungs later. Damn those crunchy pinipigs!
------------------------------------------------
I can't wait to have my ticket out of this God-forsaken country. I hate my school, NOW I hate my country. How patriotic.
I mean, is there even a reason to like this ill and rotten land? Nothing, I tell you. I don't get it why we even had to have elections on May if democracy clearly left the country since the Marcos' regime.
It's all their fault why I can't get to America on a quicker basis. We're all wasting our minds here while we can all study and be smarter and be richer in other countries. It's too late to reform it; everything is just crapped up.
Is being a Filipino a benefit? Nah, don't think so. The crappiness our government is doing is making foreigners believe that we're all cheaters. Our reputation is merely ruined by the fact that they are enjoying themselves there in the palace while there are people crying and asking for money in a daily noontime show. It all just proves that..I dunno...They suck? Oh no, that's not to much. They suckity suck.
I wish my dad could read this. Dad, I want to go and live to any European country for my birthday.
So what if any of you patriots and loyalists read this? I bet you couldn't agree more.
---------------------------------------------------------
As of now, I've re-read all of my books. As in book-books, not textbooks. Just leave 'em all in the dust.
Anyways, I've come to a hasty understatement. I. Don't. Have. Enough. Good. Things. To. Write. In. My. College. Application.
Like for example, an extra-curricular activity. Do I have any? None. Nien. Na-da.
Do I write for the school paper? Nope. I wish I have enough guts to.
Have I been an officer? Yes, but I think being a Property Custodian isn't really all that good.
Well, good luck to me. See you guys in Ateneo. I'll be studyiung in Pamantasan. No offense, but my parents are surely expecting more.
------------------------------------------------------------
I have a new celebrity crush.
HUGH GRANT.
Blame Music and Lyrics. His tight pants and sexy moves are just too hot to handle. And the British accent! Oh God, I just want to hump him like a horny dog.
Of course, that wouldn't be more than impossible, because my thighs weigh more than him probably.
But oh men, I bet Drew Barrymore didn't ask for her paycheck on the movie. I mean, she slept with the guy under his piano. Isn't that enough? I'm gonna add that to my "Things to do before I die" list. Oh yessir I can see it now..."Sleep with Hugh Grant..Literally and Figuratively." Oooh yummy. Har-dee-har.
--------------------------------------------------
NEVER EVER MAKE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHOM YOU'VE JUST MET THROUGH
SHORT MESSAGE SERVICE (SMS). GOD IT SUCKS.
It sucks more than knowing how 'pa-cool' your dad is getting everyday by spelling 'cool' as 'kewl'. How Skiboy will that be. Okay, okay, gobbledygook. But whatever your opinion would be on the upper-cased header and hard starter, I don't care. And no, I 'm not XXX's new asset.
It suckity suck like ass. One minute the person's friends with you, another minute he's not, and for another minute he's unbearable. That's like 3 minutes of hell. Divine Comedy in a box, ain't it?
---------------------------------------------
Someone. Must. Punish. Me. I've totally eaten like, a thousand calories yesterday and the other night. I'm losing it. Oh hell yeah I'm losing it.
I was probably shaken by the fact that crash dieting all ends to a yo-yo effect. In other words, if I lose fat today, I would definitely have it back tomorrow. Or worse - later.
And so, I'm eating. Not a good news, but I don't really want to gain all that weight I was able to lose this week. I don't know how to do that, but one thing's for sure. Our neighbor should stop selling Halo-Halo to an affordable price of 15 pesos. Crapity. And I'll probably cough out my brain and lungs later. Damn those crunchy pinipigs!
------------------------------------------------
I can't wait to have my ticket out of this God-forsaken country. I hate my school, NOW I hate my country. How patriotic.
I mean, is there even a reason to like this ill and rotten land? Nothing, I tell you. I don't get it why we even had to have elections on May if democracy clearly left the country since the Marcos' regime.
It's all their fault why I can't get to America on a quicker basis. We're all wasting our minds here while we can all study and be smarter and be richer in other countries. It's too late to reform it; everything is just crapped up.
Is being a Filipino a benefit? Nah, don't think so. The crappiness our government is doing is making foreigners believe that we're all cheaters. Our reputation is merely ruined by the fact that they are enjoying themselves there in the palace while there are people crying and asking for money in a daily noontime show. It all just proves that..I dunno...They suck? Oh no, that's not to much. They suckity suck.
I wish my dad could read this. Dad, I want to go and live to any European country for my birthday.
So what if any of you patriots and loyalists read this? I bet you couldn't agree more.
---------------------------------------------------------
As of now, I've re-read all of my books. As in book-books, not textbooks. Just leave 'em all in the dust.
Anyways, I've come to a hasty understatement. I. Don't. Have. Enough. Good. Things. To. Write. In. My. College. Application.
Like for example, an extra-curricular activity. Do I have any? None. Nien. Na-da.
Do I write for the school paper? Nope. I wish I have enough guts to.
Have I been an officer? Yes, but I think being a Property Custodian isn't really all that good.
Well, good luck to me. See you guys in Ateneo. I'll be studyiung in Pamantasan. No offense, but my parents are surely expecting more.
------------------------------------------------------------
I have a new celebrity crush.
HUGH GRANT.
Blame Music and Lyrics. His tight pants and sexy moves are just too hot to handle. And the British accent! Oh God, I just want to hump him like a horny dog.
Of course, that wouldn't be more than impossible, because my thighs weigh more than him probably.
But oh men, I bet Drew Barrymore didn't ask for her paycheck on the movie. I mean, she slept with the guy under his piano. Isn't that enough? I'm gonna add that to my "Things to do before I die" list. Oh yessir I can see it now..."Sleep with Hugh Grant..Literally and Figuratively." Oooh yummy. Har-dee-har.
--------------------------------------------------
Friday, April 06, 2007
Yah-dee-Yah-Yah
I don't know why I'm in the mood to write. It's either Jessica Darling's fault, or I'm just tad too happy to not to. Why shouldn't I, anyway?
This holy week was really something...something really weird. For the first 3 holy days, I would always lie on the bed or on a couch or just somewhere with a flat surface to think about my purpose in life. I would raise these inevitable but bogus questions on my own, and it's answered by a process called "suicide attempt".
Some questions are:
1. Why are we living?
2. Does God really exist?
3. If so, where is He? I can't seem to find Him somewhere.
4. Is there even a reason to NOT to die? Isn't it that if we die, we would just eventually go somewhere and live again?
5. Why wouldn't we all just die, anyway?
I was manually channel surfing the other day when I came across this superficial and religious channel.
"It's easy to love God and love life when your problems seems to surpass you. But how about when your life seems to be a living curse? Would you still love God?"
I, for one, currently do not have 'real problems' - as my mom puts it. The only problem that I have is my weight, and how to look good not in the eyes of those beholders, but unto the eyes if God.
I caught 'The Island" on HBO last night. And it probably helped me to conclude that my inner human curiosity and boredom is making me try to kill myself. I'm a cat, and so I will be until that faithful day that I would finally die.
It was a great surprise that a great wave of miracle came my way yesterday. Let me tell you the whole story.
If you have been reading my blog last year, you would know that we did some station of the cross-ing last year. And so, we also did that yesterday. But this time, I know better than to rant about how many churches we should go in order to gain...I don't know. Enlightenment probably.
And guess what, after 5 months of doubting God and doubting my faith and doubting everything, it all ended with just a simple prayer to 14 churches.
Although there is no way that I would quit this slow death I'm going through, I would definitely be back on the track in kissing God's holy ass.
---------------------------------------------------------
For some reason, my upcoming birthday does not excite me.
How about now?
No.
Now?
No.
Nu?
Nr.
Maintenant?
Non.
Jetzt?
Nien.
Ora?
Seriamente, No.
Dad asked me the other day what I want for my birthday. I was about to say 'death', but that would just give him an impression that I'm turning pre-morbid and emo at the same time.
I was about to measure how long my eye bags are when Derek the dog sent me a message so grotesque. He was, indeed, asking my big, fat, dirty, and smelly hand in marriage. I replied, "R U Serious?" How text-nationed. Frankly, he said yes. And quite frankly, I replied, "Oh. Yeah well I'll chop it off for you." I don't even know when I got my sense of humor back. Turns out everyone likes joking about hands and marriages now.
Derek is a quasifriend of mine I met in an elevator on the way to the gym. I don't want to elaborate much about that for someone might be reading this entry and blab it to any of my relatives. "Oh! The horrors of meeting someone in an elevator! Shame, shame, shame!" I can imagine everyone's capillaries and veins bursting in my face now.
So, what's he got to do with my birthday dilemma? I don't even have an idea. All I know is that I want to skip the 20th of May. I wish God would do that, you know? Like, suck your life out and give you a tour of what would happen to you after death on your 16th birthday. How happy would that be.
-------------------------------------------------------
Sometime I wish I could be Jessica Darling.
I'll elaborate later.
This holy week was really something...something really weird. For the first 3 holy days, I would always lie on the bed or on a couch or just somewhere with a flat surface to think about my purpose in life. I would raise these inevitable but bogus questions on my own, and it's answered by a process called "suicide attempt".
Some questions are:
1. Why are we living?
2. Does God really exist?
3. If so, where is He? I can't seem to find Him somewhere.
4. Is there even a reason to NOT to die? Isn't it that if we die, we would just eventually go somewhere and live again?
5. Why wouldn't we all just die, anyway?
I was manually channel surfing the other day when I came across this superficial and religious channel.
"It's easy to love God and love life when your problems seems to surpass you. But how about when your life seems to be a living curse? Would you still love God?"
I, for one, currently do not have 'real problems' - as my mom puts it. The only problem that I have is my weight, and how to look good not in the eyes of those beholders, but unto the eyes if God.
I caught 'The Island" on HBO last night. And it probably helped me to conclude that my inner human curiosity and boredom is making me try to kill myself. I'm a cat, and so I will be until that faithful day that I would finally die.
It was a great surprise that a great wave of miracle came my way yesterday. Let me tell you the whole story.
If you have been reading my blog last year, you would know that we did some station of the cross-ing last year. And so, we also did that yesterday. But this time, I know better than to rant about how many churches we should go in order to gain...I don't know. Enlightenment probably.
And guess what, after 5 months of doubting God and doubting my faith and doubting everything, it all ended with just a simple prayer to 14 churches.
Although there is no way that I would quit this slow death I'm going through, I would definitely be back on the track in kissing God's holy ass.
---------------------------------------------------------
For some reason, my upcoming birthday does not excite me.
How about now?
No.
Now?
No.
Nu?
Nr.
Maintenant?
Non.
Jetzt?
Nien.
Ora?
Seriamente, No.
Dad asked me the other day what I want for my birthday. I was about to say 'death', but that would just give him an impression that I'm turning pre-morbid and emo at the same time.
I was about to measure how long my eye bags are when Derek the dog sent me a message so grotesque. He was, indeed, asking my big, fat, dirty, and smelly hand in marriage. I replied, "R U Serious?" How text-nationed. Frankly, he said yes. And quite frankly, I replied, "Oh. Yeah well I'll chop it off for you." I don't even know when I got my sense of humor back. Turns out everyone likes joking about hands and marriages now.
Derek is a quasifriend of mine I met in an elevator on the way to the gym. I don't want to elaborate much about that for someone might be reading this entry and blab it to any of my relatives. "Oh! The horrors of meeting someone in an elevator! Shame, shame, shame!" I can imagine everyone's capillaries and veins bursting in my face now.
So, what's he got to do with my birthday dilemma? I don't even have an idea. All I know is that I want to skip the 20th of May. I wish God would do that, you know? Like, suck your life out and give you a tour of what would happen to you after death on your 16th birthday. How happy would that be.
-------------------------------------------------------
Sometime I wish I could be Jessica Darling.
I'll elaborate later.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Starving
I know, I know. The blog design sucks like Care Bears on hell. But who are you to blame me anyway? Panic! At The Disco died like, a year ago? And I'm off to designing a new one again.
Ever since my personal trainer 'trained' me, I had created this BIG furball of emotions. I know I had severe weight issues back then. but heck, this is really killing me this time.
I know that there would be only 1 solution to my midnight bawlings and rants about how big I am and how the others doesn't have to think how big they are and have to run 2 hours on the treadmill just to lose a pound.
CRASH DIET.
I started it last Friday. Since then, I haven't eaten 'real food'. Now I understand why Lindsay Lohan anorex-ized herself. Now I truly understand Nicole Richie's eating disorder. And now my friend Ana is knocking at the door.
I started visiting pro-ana/pro-anorexia websites last Saturday for encouragement. And since I have the full-right to be anorexic since I'm morbidly obese anyway, I chose to take crash dieting to the highest level. My diet is called 360. It means that I can only eat a maximum number of 360 calories a day. For example, for today, I can only eat 2 glasses of Nai Cha tea and 2 crackers.
A glass of the tea is already 110 calories. A cracker is a full 70 calorie thing. Just do the math.
It was really a bad idea to go to GreenHills yesterday. Guess what, I bawled at the car again after seeing those girls with normal body shapes who can dress up all they want. And then I realized, why am I even living this stupid life anyway? We can all just get die and live in harmony in hell.
I am now experiencing slow death. I'm starving myself just so everybody can appreciate me. I know for a fact that you can't please everybody, but guess what. I also can't please myself.
The possibility of me to die in this diet is merely .001%. I'm big anyway, as if I'll run out of food.
------------------------------------
3500 calories = 1 lbs.
58.20 hours on the treadmil on 6 km/h speed = 1 lbs.
Being fat sucks.
Ever since my personal trainer 'trained' me, I had created this BIG furball of emotions. I know I had severe weight issues back then. but heck, this is really killing me this time.
I know that there would be only 1 solution to my midnight bawlings and rants about how big I am and how the others doesn't have to think how big they are and have to run 2 hours on the treadmill just to lose a pound.
CRASH DIET.
I started it last Friday. Since then, I haven't eaten 'real food'. Now I understand why Lindsay Lohan anorex-ized herself. Now I truly understand Nicole Richie's eating disorder. And now my friend Ana is knocking at the door.
I started visiting pro-ana/pro-anorexia websites last Saturday for encouragement. And since I have the full-right to be anorexic since I'm morbidly obese anyway, I chose to take crash dieting to the highest level. My diet is called 360. It means that I can only eat a maximum number of 360 calories a day. For example, for today, I can only eat 2 glasses of Nai Cha tea and 2 crackers.
A glass of the tea is already 110 calories. A cracker is a full 70 calorie thing. Just do the math.
It was really a bad idea to go to GreenHills yesterday. Guess what, I bawled at the car again after seeing those girls with normal body shapes who can dress up all they want. And then I realized, why am I even living this stupid life anyway? We can all just get die and live in harmony in hell.
I am now experiencing slow death. I'm starving myself just so everybody can appreciate me. I know for a fact that you can't please everybody, but guess what. I also can't please myself.
The possibility of me to die in this diet is merely .001%. I'm big anyway, as if I'll run out of food.
------------------------------------
3500 calories = 1 lbs.
58.20 hours on the treadmil on 6 km/h speed = 1 lbs.
Being fat sucks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)