My eyes hurt. They really, really do. I stayed up till 3 am last night because of our freakin' backdrop for our dance in English. The backdrop looked like shit. Don't blame me, blame my lack of creativity.
Anyways, I found it really weird that people are actually studying for the upcoming ACET. Take last night's view of YM, for example. Almost all of my classmates and friend's status contains the word ACET or something that's like it. I remember the sight of my YM list during the ingenious UPCAT. God, you cannot even trace a single agitation among them all. And ergo, this just proves how low-spirited we can be. Analyze those things I've just said and the picture will surely be clear.
I'm exceptionally excited for our field trip to Mt. Banahaw on Friday. OH GIDDY. For the first time ever, my body's more than in the mood to taste the overwrought of discovering mother nature's cuteness in the southern part of the country. And to top the awkward trepidation all off, this will be my last über-cool field trip of all time. There will never be a time in college where I will have this ultimate outbound trip where I can be as stupid and as immature as I want to be.
In other words, this is yet the time of our lives. I know that there are still more things that shall enthuse us like hell(like the field trip), but GOD. This is the last field trip I'll ever go through wearing stench-driven uniforms.
I'm nostalgic again.
But who the hell cares? THIS IS MY LAST YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL. And God knows why I have to stop being so immersed in my studies.
--------------------------------
Looking through my past, I've actually only had 5 major breakthrough in my life per se. And these are:
1. Spelling Bee (WTF)
2. A Poem-Delivery Contest (Look, I don't get this one too. But all I remember is that I humiliated myself during my kindergarten years in a very childish way. I delivered the poem 'Little Boy Blue' in front of the whole school[very weird yet relevant actions included, of course.] Yeah well I won 1st place anyway, and I even got to take home this massive chess set as my prize. My parents weren't still proud of what I just did, really. My teachers and classmates never treated me the same freakin' way again after I won so.)
3. DAMATH (I think I grabbed the 2nd place in this one. DAMATH is a ripoff of checkers. Instead of the usual jumping-and-eating conventions, each piece has a number and each space has a mathematical operation. Guess what I got to take home again. And no, it's not massive this time)
4. The ever-notorious summer swimming competition (Okay, okay. This totally sucked BIG TIME. I won a silver medal for showing off my obese body to the public. Check out the post.)
5. Pauliworld (And it all ended last week. Pathetically ended, intently.)
So, why the hell am I showing off these agendas of extreme incongruity? Yeah well this may not actually be a deal to you, but guess whose absurdity just made her classmates choose her as their class representative for the on-the-spot essay writing contest for the Social Science month for Monday. No, it's not me.
Well, what the hell. It was me. Me. Me. Me. Lorainne. Paragas.
I just won a one-way ticket to a wrong and shameless endeavor. It cannot be reimbursed or traded for a ticket to the 9th level of hell instead. Crap.
And the next thing you'll know, I'm going to take home a fucking chess set again. I don't even know how to play chess, for Christ's sake.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Nihility Loves Company
What a cute paradox. It's one of those kind of paradoxes that you just want to pinch, like those itty-bitty cutesy babies. But unlike those pesky crying little things, this paradox has a superb significance in my life right now.
WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY:
1. I nailed Physics. Like nail nail. Really nail. Wait to go.
2. I don't know why, but I was hardcorely-emo during lunch break. I tried brushing it off by reading about Electric Circuits and studying for the upcoming ACET, but what the hell. I almost died by doing so, and thank God Ayu and Mary popped in our classroom for a visit. If they didn't do so, I could've read the whole book or something, which is exorbitantly nerdy. More like divergently nerdy, if you ask me.
3. For the first time ever, boredom didn't existed during the first friday mass. It was hardly a mass anyway. We just laughed for that 3-hour duration. Sorry, God. You can cut my allowance for 2 months. I don't think I'll be going out for the coming days (or weeks) anyway.
4. The school bus ride home was the most excruciating thing I went through yesterday. Every freaking kid was fucking crying. The 7th graders were crying because of this certain letter they're passing around. On the northern part, a 4th grader was bawling because her bag fell somewhere God knows where. The others were whining for our bus driver to get on with his driving business already and leave the school ASAP because humidity is simply suffocating us all. I was smirking while looking at them all. And I thought obscenely illiterate and terribly bourgeois people have the only right to act THIS stupid.
5. God heard my prayers. Or so I think He did. I now sleep on anormal basis, and by the look of it, precious melatonin's back on my pituitary glands. Mom suggested that it's because of my incessant refusal to drink caffeinated liquids, and go for something so cheesy like the ingenious C2. I think she's right. But since I'm full of pride, there's no effing way I would agree to that.
And the most stupid of them all...
6. I said goodbye to Pauliworld yesterday. Technically, I'm still in. But I guess my ignorance of the information that the writers were supposed to write and submit the article yesterday just easily cleared things up. It's a more than an unambiguous sign that I'm not meant for the school paper. I mean, maybe God just wants me to do math and physics all my life. Or annoy people. Or make stupid people realize that there is someone dumber than them(clue: ME). Or be unloved. Or to be so fat. Or to write here.
And right now, I'm feeling so empty. So empty, that the fact that I'm obese just simply went away for a simple vacation on Palau. It seems like I lost something more valuable than money or anything else that is significantly exquisite. And I'm not even talking about the extra-curricular activity I just lost.
I'm not even talking about something I actually know.
Vindication is waay better than what I'm feeling right now.
------------------
For the first time ever, I felt very accomplished after going to Megamall. Usually, I would feel so slacked after walking through its floors and corridors and other mall shits. But my visit today seemed so..so..good. I don't know, really. The last time I went there with a friend didn't go well. And yet today, my gadget-shopping extravaganza with Monica unleashed the superficial dumbass in me.
We went to Megamall today to buy a new wireless router. But as always, my primary objective wouldn't really be something I would prioritize as soon as I would absorb the ventilated air of the mall. It's like.."God, I just want to shop and shop and shop for gadgets till I die". And so, that was the case. After entering Mega B, we went straight to Cyberzone to FINALLY get my Macbook fixed. Then we watched Rush Hour 3. Then we canvassed for routers. Then I finally bought the cheapest Wireless-G router. Then off I went home.
I HAD FUUUUN.
---------------
How stupid. I bought a router, but my Macbook's far from being portable until the first week of October. GOD. Dang it.
WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY:
1. I nailed Physics. Like nail nail. Really nail. Wait to go.
2. I don't know why, but I was hardcorely-emo during lunch break. I tried brushing it off by reading about Electric Circuits and studying for the upcoming ACET, but what the hell. I almost died by doing so, and thank God Ayu and Mary popped in our classroom for a visit. If they didn't do so, I could've read the whole book or something, which is exorbitantly nerdy. More like divergently nerdy, if you ask me.
3. For the first time ever, boredom didn't existed during the first friday mass. It was hardly a mass anyway. We just laughed for that 3-hour duration. Sorry, God. You can cut my allowance for 2 months. I don't think I'll be going out for the coming days (or weeks) anyway.
4. The school bus ride home was the most excruciating thing I went through yesterday. Every freaking kid was fucking crying. The 7th graders were crying because of this certain letter they're passing around. On the northern part, a 4th grader was bawling because her bag fell somewhere God knows where. The others were whining for our bus driver to get on with his driving business already and leave the school ASAP because humidity is simply suffocating us all. I was smirking while looking at them all. And I thought obscenely illiterate and terribly bourgeois people have the only right to act THIS stupid.
5. God heard my prayers. Or so I think He did. I now sleep on anormal basis, and by the look of it, precious melatonin's back on my pituitary glands. Mom suggested that it's because of my incessant refusal to drink caffeinated liquids, and go for something so cheesy like the ingenious C2. I think she's right. But since I'm full of pride, there's no effing way I would agree to that.
And the most stupid of them all...
6. I said goodbye to Pauliworld yesterday. Technically, I'm still in. But I guess my ignorance of the information that the writers were supposed to write and submit the article yesterday just easily cleared things up. It's a more than an unambiguous sign that I'm not meant for the school paper. I mean, maybe God just wants me to do math and physics all my life. Or annoy people. Or make stupid people realize that there is someone dumber than them(clue: ME). Or be unloved. Or to be so fat. Or to write here.
And right now, I'm feeling so empty. So empty, that the fact that I'm obese just simply went away for a simple vacation on Palau. It seems like I lost something more valuable than money or anything else that is significantly exquisite. And I'm not even talking about the extra-curricular activity I just lost.
I'm not even talking about something I actually know.
Vindication is waay better than what I'm feeling right now.
------------------
For the first time ever, I felt very accomplished after going to Megamall. Usually, I would feel so slacked after walking through its floors and corridors and other mall shits. But my visit today seemed so..so..good. I don't know, really. The last time I went there with a friend didn't go well. And yet today, my gadget-shopping extravaganza with Monica unleashed the superficial dumbass in me.
We went to Megamall today to buy a new wireless router. But as always, my primary objective wouldn't really be something I would prioritize as soon as I would absorb the ventilated air of the mall. It's like.."God, I just want to shop and shop and shop for gadgets till I die". And so, that was the case. After entering Mega B, we went straight to Cyberzone to FINALLY get my Macbook fixed. Then we watched Rush Hour 3. Then we canvassed for routers. Then I finally bought the cheapest Wireless-G router. Then off I went home.
I HAD FUUUUN.
---------------
How stupid. I bought a router, but my Macbook's far from being portable until the first week of October. GOD. Dang it.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Oh-so Sweet Day
We did nothing all day yesterday. We had no subjects, and we nonetheless dozed the day off. Well, factually speaking, that only occurred for two hours. Two. Sweet. Hours. Plus the travel time from our short field trip to my school's convent in Antipolo. But technically speaking, it was, indeed, for the wholeee day. If I didn't have my GIFT class, yesterday would have been the sweetest school day ever made by God.
For the morning part, we went to that ever-famous convent. It was okay, I guess. As someone who doesn't like silent places that is moronically deafening, I hated every minute of it. It makes me wonder why how walking around a museum that explains my school's history drained every last drop of my stored energy. Weird. I guess boredom really kills. I'm a product of it, obviously.
On the way home, we tried to convince the bus driver to stop the bus over at a McDonald's branch because the trip to the convent magically drank ever last drop of our precious energy.
US: Manong! Hostage na po talaga to! Di na kami nagbibiro! Kapag di nyo po ihinto ang bus sa Mcdo papasabugin po tong bus! Dali na po! Ililibre po naman namin kayo ng Friend Fries eh! Please Manong!
That's how desperate we were. But ugh. We failed to taunt the bus driver so badly that we just ate at the school canteen anyway. That sure did suck.
And let's just say that we got to watch the Cultural Show with the freshmen and sophomores in the afternoon, making our Wednesday afternoon that is usually filled with discussions about electrical energy anything but Physics-less. God. Was that the sweetest thing, or what? I mean, no double period on Physics is waay better than an Haagen-Dazs Belgian Chocolate ice cream. But the non-existent of electives is the best of them all. No questions askes, zai jan.
After that, I went to my swimming GIFT class.
There is something really weird with sunny afternoons. It just makes you want to sleep until you die, but on the other hand you can't because it's just so freakin' hot, so to speak. At the very least, that's what I felt yesterday afternoon.
4x25 for each stroke almost killed me. Breaststroke was fun, as usual. It's just so...relaxing. The kind that just makes you want to do the inverse of the dead man's float and bathe under the sun till your eyes burn out. Sweet.
I got darker. or tanner. or whatever.
------------------------
Tomorrow's the big day.
The day I will stop being such a hypocrite and..
QUIT PAULIWORLD.
It is rhetorically funny in a serious note. Well, why? I haven't made a single article yet, and here I am, proving to the cyberworld that I am, indeed, a wuss.
What have they got to lose if I walked out of the biggest break of my high school life anyway? I mean, I don't write anywhere near good.
Or serious.
Conclusion:
I therefore conclude that I am quitting the school paper* because:
-I don't think that I'm much of a serious writer
-I'm very much intimidated by those serious editors
-If there's one thing that I absolutely and infinitely suck at, that's being SERIOUS.
If I would then therefore continue my job as a writer for the 2nd Best Campus Journalism Newspaper in the Philippines(or whatever. I think they got that trademarked or something), I can just imagine my news article right now.
We Won
By: Lorainne Paragas
p. 1111111111111111111
Yay. We won. We absolutely did. I can't believe it. I mean, I was just exhaling out carbon dioxide a while ago, and the next thing I knew, we won. We really did. We SO did. I know, right? We really did. I can't believe it too.
Wtf.
So yeah. Goodbye Pauliworld it is, huh?
(I'm just joking about really quitting the school paper. I'm still bemused, though.)
For the morning part, we went to that ever-famous convent. It was okay, I guess. As someone who doesn't like silent places that is moronically deafening, I hated every minute of it. It makes me wonder why how walking around a museum that explains my school's history drained every last drop of my stored energy. Weird. I guess boredom really kills. I'm a product of it, obviously.
On the way home, we tried to convince the bus driver to stop the bus over at a McDonald's branch because the trip to the convent magically drank ever last drop of our precious energy.
US: Manong! Hostage na po talaga to! Di na kami nagbibiro! Kapag di nyo po ihinto ang bus sa Mcdo papasabugin po tong bus! Dali na po! Ililibre po naman namin kayo ng Friend Fries eh! Please Manong!
That's how desperate we were. But ugh. We failed to taunt the bus driver so badly that we just ate at the school canteen anyway. That sure did suck.
And let's just say that we got to watch the Cultural Show with the freshmen and sophomores in the afternoon, making our Wednesday afternoon that is usually filled with discussions about electrical energy anything but Physics-less. God. Was that the sweetest thing, or what? I mean, no double period on Physics is waay better than an Haagen-Dazs Belgian Chocolate ice cream. But the non-existent of electives is the best of them all. No questions askes, zai jan.
After that, I went to my swimming GIFT class.
There is something really weird with sunny afternoons. It just makes you want to sleep until you die, but on the other hand you can't because it's just so freakin' hot, so to speak. At the very least, that's what I felt yesterday afternoon.
4x25 for each stroke almost killed me. Breaststroke was fun, as usual. It's just so...relaxing. The kind that just makes you want to do the inverse of the dead man's float and bathe under the sun till your eyes burn out. Sweet.
I got darker. or tanner. or whatever.
------------------------
Tomorrow's the big day.
The day I will stop being such a hypocrite and..
QUIT PAULIWORLD.
It is rhetorically funny in a serious note. Well, why? I haven't made a single article yet, and here I am, proving to the cyberworld that I am, indeed, a wuss.
What have they got to lose if I walked out of the biggest break of my high school life anyway? I mean, I don't write anywhere near good.
Or serious.
Conclusion:
I therefore conclude that I am quitting the school paper* because:
-I don't think that I'm much of a serious writer
-I'm very much intimidated by those serious editors
-If there's one thing that I absolutely and infinitely suck at, that's being SERIOUS.
If I would then therefore continue my job as a writer for the 2nd Best Campus Journalism Newspaper in the Philippines(or whatever. I think they got that trademarked or something), I can just imagine my news article right now.
We Won
By: Lorainne Paragas
p. 1111111111111111111
Yay. We won. We absolutely did. I can't believe it. I mean, I was just exhaling out carbon dioxide a while ago, and the next thing I knew, we won. We really did. We SO did. I know, right? We really did. I can't believe it too.
Wtf.
So yeah. Goodbye Pauliworld it is, huh?
(I'm just joking about really quitting the school paper. I'm still bemused, though.)
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
HI Bear Nation
I've discovered that I have this new talent, which isn't really that much of a good one(or even of importance or significance). I don't know if it's really acknowledged or anything by the government or some high authority shiznits, but..-get this-.. I can break down words into other words. I know! Isn't that great? I mean, I don't even get it too!
I will break down names of people into other words, but the pronunciation and sound will still be the same as before. Trust me.
Denise Santillan = Den Niece Sun Till Yawn
Arianna Martinez = Are Yeah Nah More Teen Nest
Patti Dela Concepcion = Pat Tea Dell A Conception
Monica Canta = (this one's kinda hard. sorry Bodika)
And the list will go on and on and on until I'll realize that this isn't a talent, but an implication that I should, therefore, stop playing around with words.
------------------------
I will break down names of people into other words, but the pronunciation and sound will still be the same as before. Trust me.
Denise Santillan = Den Niece Sun Till Yawn
Arianna Martinez = Are Yeah Nah More Teen Nest
Patti Dela Concepcion = Pat Tea Dell A Conception
Monica Canta = (this one's kinda hard. sorry Bodika)
And the list will go on and on and on until I'll realize that this isn't a talent, but an implication that I should, therefore, stop playing around with words.
------------------------
REPORT CARD
Yeah well I got mine today. I'm lucky enough that my mom's on the pinnacle of her superlatively critical pregnancy. If she otherwise came with me and see the cream of that crop I've been taking care of for the first quarter, she could've given birth to baby Achilles right there and then, for Christ's sake. That would be so cool and disgusting at the same time.
I did well, according to some people I've hesitantly shared with my average. I dunno, really. Of course, there would be always these thoughts that only depict the same thing no matter how stupid they truly get: EXPECTATIONS. I expected higher grades, because much effort was exerted by yours truly. I'm clueless of why my grades isn't where I expected them to be, you know..sort of up there.
I know I can only blame two things for this undoubtedly unexpected outcome: Unequal outlooks and God's Will. The latter part is truly a constant. I mean, we put His Will to blame for even the smallest of things. But whatever. It's like we have a lot of concrete and universal things to blame anyway.
UNEQUAL OUTLOOK. Now that's a new one.
If you're still scratching your head because of this, then let me thoroughly explain it to you, imaginary reader.
I don't give importance to some subjects mainly because I don't think they are, indeed, important. And by some subjects, I'm pointing out those subjects that are not concerned with any mathematical shits. Take my Filipino subject as an example. I don't really give a damn about it, really.(But only God knows why I finished El Filibusterismo a month ahead of everyone)
I'm not bragging or anything, but my forte is really m-a-t-h MATH. I loooove math. Math excites my hormones more than pornography itself does. Math erases my daily anguishes. Math gives me that adrenalin rush even the wildest and deadliest roller coaster can't really give. Call me crazy or whatever, but you can't separate mathematics per se and moi in whatever friggin way you can think of.
But, yeah. I have to stop gushing on Advanced Algebra. I just have to. If this love for math goes on and on and on for my whole senior year, then I wouldn't be even half-surprised if I would keep getting low scores on those subjects I expertise in. YES. It's the other way around. The more I dwell on a subject I give much importance, the lower score I would always get. WTF. Now that's a total indirect relationship for ya.
So Lorainne, say an early goodbye to UP-Diliman. The chances of you getting in there is like the chances of our country to surpass its economic dilemmas and replace United States of America as ze ultimet world power. It's either the blue eagle, the green archer, the growling tiger, or the cardinal for now. UNLIKELY. Really.
----------------------------
Dear Monica Canta,
If ever you would pass UP(which is the university of my..take note..MY dreams)....
I'll cry. No, really. I will. I can't believe I have a smart-ass friend who's not that much of interested to go to UP like I am, and who has this 300 percent chance of passing the UPCAT, and who will have the highest UPG ever. It will hurt my deepest gut if you'll bag that INTARMED program.
But moreover, I will be so happy because my friend who's always willing to carry my mundane burdens will go to the final step of education in our lives in a university where she truly belongs. UP's your kismet, Monica. Be thankful for your not-so normal intellectual capability. I mean, I myself is very much thankful that I have the smartest and whimsiest 'best' friend in the whole wide world. I will never ever ever ever survive the perks of the high school life we are going through for the very last time in our lives without you.
If you get into UP, just go. I'm just kidding about that neglecting part. I'll never ever neglect someone like you.
BUT F*CK YOU IF YOU REALLY GET INTO UP.
Love,
Lorainne.
----------------------------------
Anything Goes.
I just wanna say hi to Denise Santillan, who told me that she's truly an avid reader of this trash bin. Well, ugh. Thanks, I guess.
Hello to Arianna Martinez. I hope that you become the model that you're dreaming to be. I also hope that you know Ilong Ranger , because you two have some nosy similarities. No kidding.
Yeah well I got mine today. I'm lucky enough that my mom's on the pinnacle of her superlatively critical pregnancy. If she otherwise came with me and see the cream of that crop I've been taking care of for the first quarter, she could've given birth to baby Achilles right there and then, for Christ's sake. That would be so cool and disgusting at the same time.
I did well, according to some people I've hesitantly shared with my average. I dunno, really. Of course, there would be always these thoughts that only depict the same thing no matter how stupid they truly get: EXPECTATIONS. I expected higher grades, because much effort was exerted by yours truly. I'm clueless of why my grades isn't where I expected them to be, you know..sort of up there.
I know I can only blame two things for this undoubtedly unexpected outcome: Unequal outlooks and God's Will. The latter part is truly a constant. I mean, we put His Will to blame for even the smallest of things. But whatever. It's like we have a lot of concrete and universal things to blame anyway.
UNEQUAL OUTLOOK. Now that's a new one.
If you're still scratching your head because of this, then let me thoroughly explain it to you, imaginary reader.
I don't give importance to some subjects mainly because I don't think they are, indeed, important. And by some subjects, I'm pointing out those subjects that are not concerned with any mathematical shits. Take my Filipino subject as an example. I don't really give a damn about it, really.(But only God knows why I finished El Filibusterismo a month ahead of everyone)
I'm not bragging or anything, but my forte is really m-a-t-h MATH. I loooove math. Math excites my hormones more than pornography itself does. Math erases my daily anguishes. Math gives me that adrenalin rush even the wildest and deadliest roller coaster can't really give. Call me crazy or whatever, but you can't separate mathematics per se and moi in whatever friggin way you can think of.
But, yeah. I have to stop gushing on Advanced Algebra. I just have to. If this love for math goes on and on and on for my whole senior year, then I wouldn't be even half-surprised if I would keep getting low scores on those subjects I expertise in. YES. It's the other way around. The more I dwell on a subject I give much importance, the lower score I would always get. WTF. Now that's a total indirect relationship for ya.
So Lorainne, say an early goodbye to UP-Diliman. The chances of you getting in there is like the chances of our country to surpass its economic dilemmas and replace United States of America as ze ultimet world power. It's either the blue eagle, the green archer, the growling tiger, or the cardinal for now. UNLIKELY. Really.
----------------------------
Dear Monica Canta,
If ever you would pass UP(which is the university of my..take note..MY dreams)....
I'll cry. No, really. I will. I can't believe I have a smart-ass friend who's not that much of interested to go to UP like I am, and who has this 300 percent chance of passing the UPCAT, and who will have the highest UPG ever. It will hurt my deepest gut if you'll bag that INTARMED program.
But moreover, I will be so happy because my friend who's always willing to carry my mundane burdens will go to the final step of education in our lives in a university where she truly belongs. UP's your kismet, Monica. Be thankful for your not-so normal intellectual capability. I mean, I myself is very much thankful that I have the smartest and whimsiest 'best' friend in the whole wide world. I will never ever ever ever survive the perks of the high school life we are going through for the very last time in our lives without you.
If you get into UP, just go. I'm just kidding about that neglecting part. I'll never ever neglect someone like you.
BUT F*CK YOU IF YOU REALLY GET INTO UP.
Love,
Lorainne.
----------------------------------
Anything Goes.
I just wanna say hi to Denise Santillan, who told me that she's truly an avid reader of this trash bin. Well, ugh. Thanks, I guess.
Hello to Arianna Martinez. I hope that you become the model that you're dreaming to be. I also hope that you know Ilong Ranger , because you two have some nosy similarities. No kidding.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Disintegration: A New Way to Ruin Lorainne's Life. (A Must-Try. Trust Me.)
Either way, I'll still die of total humiliation.
I know I'm going to rot in hell as soon as that time when I would forget to exhale that carbon dioxide arrives. But who the hell cares anyway? Oh God diggidy, I'm still sooo not scared to die. Sorry. Amen.
Last night is definitely and ultimately the night I've been waiting for all these stressful weeks. Right after I decided to ditch my GIFT class and just clean the balot-and-gawgaw-drenched room,(don't thank me. thank the Socio-Cultural Committee members who also decided to ditch an important thing in their womanhood per se - they boycotted the aftermath of the deadly celebration, which is c-l-e-a-n-i-n-g up the messes they left. Well, I dunno. It's okay for me, I guess. Then again, no. Then again, yes. But then again, I still have a disgusting story to tell..soo..) I decisively went with Monica to the principal's office to return their classroom key to that nostalgic cabinet.
And yeah. That's the only unusual place I went to yesterday afternoon.
Who the hell even knew that the principal's office can screw things up in a very discrete manner? I guess the MEGA people does, but they're just so damn focused on their cleaning business that they probably forgot to remind the students that the parlor/principal's office is, indeed, infested with dwarfs and other imaginary creatures. WTF. They should write that as one of the MAIN reasons why students and/or big people should not hang around that place, so as to not bump some dwarfs that are actually having an important meeting there.
I beg to differ. Really.
So, what happened? Well, as I stood up from bed early this morning, the first thing that throughly entered my mind was..:"Why am I having this slight feeling that the right side of my face is being pulled down by a strong gravitational force? And ugh, did the right side just got fatter again? Fuck that Coke."
And, as I went to the mirrored-cabinet to check if I still have my head on, what I saw just made me gape so hard, I forgot what gaping is for a mere second.
THE. RIGHT. SIDE. OF. MY. FACE. IS. SWELLING. AND. LOOKS. LIKE. AS. IF. IT'S. GOING. TO. BURST. SOONER. OR. LATER.
I tried slapping it, but it just made my cheeks unnaturally red. I tried pushing it in the left direction, but it just mushed up my already distorted face. I tried crying, but it just made me look like an asshole for doing so. What a wimp.
You know bloggy, I would've accepted that cruel fate if it weren't for the fact that THE RIGHT SIDE WAS THE ONLY SIDE THAT IS SWELLING. If both sides were indeed swelling, I would've been so happy because (1) I wouldn't look like some poor Mexican boxer who was intensely punched by Pacquiao in one of his very disappointing games and; (2) My face wouldn't look oh-so distorted, as if making the people believe to a very malevolent fact that my father is Picasso, and my mom's one of his abstract imaginations. What a grieving wonder.
I now look even more stupid with half of my face swollen to the highest level that it can be for the 'obese' category.
------------------------
I've never listened intently to someone speaking about stress management. It's one of those things that I absolutely despise because, like epic poetry and mathematical shiznits, they have these sort-of clichés and conventions that just reminds you how much of a trend-followers they truly are. Conformity, remember? Cringe, boy. Cringe.
But ugh. The intransigence of my hypocrisy just stands out at such times that I don't actually need 'em. Like lately, during homeroom time. When our adviser started her stuff with the phrases.."talk about stress management", my attention switch just automatically turned itself off. Dang it, God. Why not try giving me some melatonin instead of this autistical switch anyway?
I hate the word STRESS. No, really. I really really really do. What I even more loathe is its meaning, which is...
STRESS - The sum of the biological reactions to any adverse stimulus, physical, mental or emotional, internal or external, that tends to disturb a person's normal state of well-being. (Gulflink)
Why do I abhor it? Well obviously, I AM SO STRESSED WITH LIFE PER SE! Studies show that a large percentage of stressed individuals has this annoying tendency to share their loathsome lives to the virtual community using blogs. And UGH, I am so guilty of this, so to speak.
I only learned a while ago that my state of being stressed has gone so bad, I didn't even know that I was THAT stressed already. I kept denying to myself, and to everyone else around me, that I am SO NOT stressed. For me, being stressed is like being on drugs. I know, I know..I mentioned it quite during my oh-so tragic summer time that drugs is one of those things I shall try before my migration to hell. But stress is somehow quite different. When people would find out that you died of such, they would think that you're this irresponsible shit hole, who lived his/her life during the wee hours of the morning, hastily typing reports and trying to meet deadlines of some sorts.
But when you die of drug overdose, people would on the other hand think you're some kind of a rock god/diva/homeless person who lived his/her life on cloud 9.
I think I like the latter better.
----------------------
I love you, Bloggy. You really are one hell of a Stress Tab. <3
I have 30 minutes left to annoy people before my spit-amount melatonin kicks in. But whatever. I'll just spend it on a staring marathon. I guess killing out some of your unused brain cells is a good way to manage stress or something.
Off I go.
I know I'm going to rot in hell as soon as that time when I would forget to exhale that carbon dioxide arrives. But who the hell cares anyway? Oh God diggidy, I'm still sooo not scared to die. Sorry. Amen.
Last night is definitely and ultimately the night I've been waiting for all these stressful weeks. Right after I decided to ditch my GIFT class and just clean the balot-and-gawgaw-drenched room,(don't thank me. thank the Socio-Cultural Committee members who also decided to ditch an important thing in their womanhood per se - they boycotted the aftermath of the deadly celebration, which is c-l-e-a-n-i-n-g up the messes they left. Well, I dunno. It's okay for me, I guess. Then again, no. Then again, yes. But then again, I still have a disgusting story to tell..soo..) I decisively went with Monica to the principal's office to return their classroom key to that nostalgic cabinet.
And yeah. That's the only unusual place I went to yesterday afternoon.
Who the hell even knew that the principal's office can screw things up in a very discrete manner? I guess the MEGA people does, but they're just so damn focused on their cleaning business that they probably forgot to remind the students that the parlor/principal's office is, indeed, infested with dwarfs and other imaginary creatures. WTF. They should write that as one of the MAIN reasons why students and/or big people should not hang around that place, so as to not bump some dwarfs that are actually having an important meeting there.
I beg to differ. Really.
So, what happened? Well, as I stood up from bed early this morning, the first thing that throughly entered my mind was..:"Why am I having this slight feeling that the right side of my face is being pulled down by a strong gravitational force? And ugh, did the right side just got fatter again? Fuck that Coke."
And, as I went to the mirrored-cabinet to check if I still have my head on, what I saw just made me gape so hard, I forgot what gaping is for a mere second.
THE. RIGHT. SIDE. OF. MY. FACE. IS. SWELLING. AND. LOOKS. LIKE. AS. IF. IT'S. GOING. TO. BURST. SOONER. OR. LATER.
I tried slapping it, but it just made my cheeks unnaturally red. I tried pushing it in the left direction, but it just mushed up my already distorted face. I tried crying, but it just made me look like an asshole for doing so. What a wimp.
You know bloggy, I would've accepted that cruel fate if it weren't for the fact that THE RIGHT SIDE WAS THE ONLY SIDE THAT IS SWELLING. If both sides were indeed swelling, I would've been so happy because (1) I wouldn't look like some poor Mexican boxer who was intensely punched by Pacquiao in one of his very disappointing games and; (2) My face wouldn't look oh-so distorted, as if making the people believe to a very malevolent fact that my father is Picasso, and my mom's one of his abstract imaginations. What a grieving wonder.
I now look even more stupid with half of my face swollen to the highest level that it can be for the 'obese' category.
------------------------
I've never listened intently to someone speaking about stress management. It's one of those things that I absolutely despise because, like epic poetry and mathematical shiznits, they have these sort-of clichés and conventions that just reminds you how much of a trend-followers they truly are. Conformity, remember? Cringe, boy. Cringe.
But ugh. The intransigence of my hypocrisy just stands out at such times that I don't actually need 'em. Like lately, during homeroom time. When our adviser started her stuff with the phrases.."talk about stress management", my attention switch just automatically turned itself off. Dang it, God. Why not try giving me some melatonin instead of this autistical switch anyway?
I hate the word STRESS. No, really. I really really really do. What I even more loathe is its meaning, which is...
STRESS - The sum of the biological reactions to any adverse stimulus, physical, mental or emotional, internal or external, that tends to disturb a person's normal state of well-being. (Gulflink)
Why do I abhor it? Well obviously, I AM SO STRESSED WITH LIFE PER SE! Studies show that a large percentage of stressed individuals has this annoying tendency to share their loathsome lives to the virtual community using blogs. And UGH, I am so guilty of this, so to speak.
I only learned a while ago that my state of being stressed has gone so bad, I didn't even know that I was THAT stressed already. I kept denying to myself, and to everyone else around me, that I am SO NOT stressed. For me, being stressed is like being on drugs. I know, I know..I mentioned it quite during my oh-so tragic summer time that drugs is one of those things I shall try before my migration to hell. But stress is somehow quite different. When people would find out that you died of such, they would think that you're this irresponsible shit hole, who lived his/her life during the wee hours of the morning, hastily typing reports and trying to meet deadlines of some sorts.
But when you die of drug overdose, people would on the other hand think you're some kind of a rock god/diva/homeless person who lived his/her life on cloud 9.
I think I like the latter better.
----------------------
I love you, Bloggy. You really are one hell of a Stress Tab. <3
I have 30 minutes left to annoy people before my spit-amount melatonin kicks in. But whatever. I'll just spend it on a staring marathon. I guess killing out some of your unused brain cells is a good way to manage stress or something.
Off I go.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Eclipse Extravaganza
This has got to be one of those weird days that I shall encounter in the duration of my forsaken life. And being the chicken that I am, I will be blaming the total lunar eclipse that just occurred a few hours ago. It's kinda relevant, if you think of it as something more than an umbra-iffic and natural stereotype. And I guess its relevance will also be evident even if you go away right now.
I knew from the moment I woke up that this day is going to be more complicated than I thought it would be. Yeah well I guess I'm right. After I took a bath, I glared at my school uniform for the reason that my skirt's zipper is broken, and the only blouse available in my cabinet is that piece I first wore 3 years ago, seams clearly screaming 'get us out from hereee!!', and has this disgusting yellow-ish color that just reminds you that you really are, indeed, a senior. It surprises me why I'm still in the utter process of outliving our school uniform. Yeah, it bothers me too.
First off, NCAE.
As someone who has pride for her bunghole, that test is kinda easy. No, really. Not that I'm only bragging, but comparing NCAE to the UPCAT, NCAE wins for the no-brainer award. I enjoyed every part, except for the Entrepreneurial Skills shit. If there's one thing that I don't want to talk about(and ugh, even LEARN) is business. Oooh. Just saying it makes me cringe so bad, my ass cheeks are blushing.
After I hastily reviewed my answers, I dozed off. Crap, I'm telling you. The second thing I hated during the examinations is the extra time. I HATE EXTRA TIME SPENT ON NOTHING. I did everything to show off to that DepEd proctor that I'm fucking finished, and ugh. You know what she just did? Yes, she smiled. That's fairly disgusting for me. And eerie, for that matter.
Subsequently, we were dismissed 30 minutes late. OOH MEHN. The martyrdom I went through in waiting should be recognized by a high authority. I mean, pleaaaaseeee Lord. I have a room to decorate for our salu-salo tomorrow, and the least I need now is an ultimate delaaaay. Why do we have to be dismissed at the same time anyway? I would definitely agree if it was for the Guinness Records or something, but nooooo. It's just DepEd's way of making things cute and stuff.
And so, with the very baptismal banderitas I made for our Filipino-state-fairs-themed agape for the next day, I decorated the room even if my pancreas is killing my sanity little by little. I decorated the room even if my skirt and blouse weren't running in that right pace. I decorated the room even if my sleepy eyes are begging me to go home and sleep till I die. I decorated the room, even if the decoration we putted up looked like shit in the end and ergo we decided to just rip the hell out of it off since the fucking eating thing will be after lunch anyway. I decorated even if my efforts were completely w-a-s-t-e-d. The last thing I need in this world is to be acknowledged for my creative efforts anyway. The hell I care.
And so bloggy, within minutes from now, my brain would eventually stop thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking about stuffs that I need to do in order for my life to be perfect. The irony is no matter how smarty-pantsy it thinks tonight, all of what I've pondered and pondered and pondered will be forgotten on the next day. Yes, like my efforts and dreams and what not. They are all made for the trash bin. That trash bin sure is one helluva lucky bin. WIth that dreams and efforts and ponderations, it definitely can help its other trash bin brothers and sisters and family or whatever shit bins we have in this world.
It's 12 AM, and....
I knew from the moment I woke up that this day is going to be more complicated than I thought it would be. Yeah well I guess I'm right. After I took a bath, I glared at my school uniform for the reason that my skirt's zipper is broken, and the only blouse available in my cabinet is that piece I first wore 3 years ago, seams clearly screaming 'get us out from hereee!!', and has this disgusting yellow-ish color that just reminds you that you really are, indeed, a senior. It surprises me why I'm still in the utter process of outliving our school uniform. Yeah, it bothers me too.
First off, NCAE.
As someone who has pride for her bunghole, that test is kinda easy. No, really. Not that I'm only bragging, but comparing NCAE to the UPCAT, NCAE wins for the no-brainer award. I enjoyed every part, except for the Entrepreneurial Skills shit. If there's one thing that I don't want to talk about(and ugh, even LEARN) is business. Oooh. Just saying it makes me cringe so bad, my ass cheeks are blushing.
After I hastily reviewed my answers, I dozed off. Crap, I'm telling you. The second thing I hated during the examinations is the extra time. I HATE EXTRA TIME SPENT ON NOTHING. I did everything to show off to that DepEd proctor that I'm fucking finished, and ugh. You know what she just did? Yes, she smiled. That's fairly disgusting for me. And eerie, for that matter.
Subsequently, we were dismissed 30 minutes late. OOH MEHN. The martyrdom I went through in waiting should be recognized by a high authority. I mean, pleaaaaseeee Lord. I have a room to decorate for our salu-salo tomorrow, and the least I need now is an ultimate delaaaay. Why do we have to be dismissed at the same time anyway? I would definitely agree if it was for the Guinness Records or something, but nooooo. It's just DepEd's way of making things cute and stuff.
And so, with the very baptismal banderitas I made for our Filipino-state-fairs-themed agape for the next day, I decorated the room even if my pancreas is killing my sanity little by little. I decorated the room even if my skirt and blouse weren't running in that right pace. I decorated the room even if my sleepy eyes are begging me to go home and sleep till I die. I decorated the room, even if the decoration we putted up looked like shit in the end and ergo we decided to just rip the hell out of it off since the fucking eating thing will be after lunch anyway. I decorated even if my efforts were completely w-a-s-t-e-d. The last thing I need in this world is to be acknowledged for my creative efforts anyway. The hell I care.
And so bloggy, within minutes from now, my brain would eventually stop thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking about stuffs that I need to do in order for my life to be perfect. The irony is no matter how smarty-pantsy it thinks tonight, all of what I've pondered and pondered and pondered will be forgotten on the next day. Yes, like my efforts and dreams and what not. They are all made for the trash bin. That trash bin sure is one helluva lucky bin. WIth that dreams and efforts and ponderations, it definitely can help its other trash bin brothers and sisters and family or whatever shit bins we have in this world.
It's 12 AM, and....
Monday, August 27, 2007
Excogitations
This post is highly-philosophical, at the very least. So I must warn you, my dear imaginary reader. Get the hell out of here as quick as possible if you don't want sentimentalizations burdening your emotions. No, really. Brace yourself, if you just can't click that back button on the extreme left.
------------------------------
I would always think about this statement most of us would ponder during those burdening and mishapping times of our lives: 'If God loves us, then why are there calamities? Why are there persecutions? Why do we have to go through these sufferings, when we can just go through that happy and intoxicating route to paradise?'
It would be very hypocritical to say that I'm writing this just to shake the monstrosity out of every one of us, but if you are begging me to differ right now, let me just say that I'm going through a 'depression 2' stage. You may remember well that I went through the first and gruelling part of this stage last summer, but ugh. I though that my suicidal and 'OMG just kill me now' had ended on my birthday, but pertaining to my ever-unreliable ignorance, there is this so-called 2nd stage of that tedious murder of emotions.
On my part, I would always ask God the same question before I go to sleep. "God, if I really am a smart-ass, why is my GPA within the critical level of our education dam? I guess I have to say goodbye to UP-Diliman, huh?" I'm losing hope, for Christ's sake.
And now, it is conclusively evident that my problem, after all, is getting into the most prestigious state university on the land. I am still on the verge of belief that University of the Philippines is my home; this is where my non-conformity and mendaciousness belong. I know I have to let go of that dream, but no, ladies and gentlemen. My daydreams aren't composed of romances and other cognates. Hell no.
They are, instead, filled with moving pictures of myself, driving that oh-so-sexy Mitsubishi Evolution IX around the College of Engineering. Even if you take away that part where I drive, you still can't drag that fact that I, a very egotistical and conceited half-shit/half-girl(hard to believe, huh? It makes me wonder why I have XX as chromosomes too), passed the UPCAT. God, getting into UP-Diliman is waaaaaaaaay waaaaaay WAAAAY better than a full-body liposuction by those Beverly Hills dermatology doctors. I'd rather be obese all my life than be a dumbass.
But I guess I have to accept the grotesque and oh-so sucky certainty that I did, after all, screw up that UPCAT. Maybe UP-Diliman's not really for me. Maybe I deserve a better university for my collegiate education, wherein I will learn that all of what I'm thinking right now can be laughable in more ways than one.
All I can swear now is..that university better be an Ivy, or I just made a fool of myself by asserting that I'll get into some college that is undoubtedly better than UP-Diliman(which is oh-so highly unlikely anyway).
Even if I was seated next to a Pisay student instead of that one helluva Povedan who challenged my agility and shading skills during the UPCAT, the dubious truth still remains; my arrogant brain is not enough for me to pass this test. Even if I got a 98 on Computer last year, I don't think that THAT would even make a single difference. Even if I studied my ass off the day before my UPCAT schedule, I don't think that any of that studying I did would even make a tiny difference. Even if I found the UPCAT a little no-brainer, I still don't think that THAT scrupulous and awfully-haughty conclusion will ever EVER EVER pass me to the university of my wildest and wettest dreams.
And yeah. Decisively, I am making a big deal out of this. So from this day forward, I guess I have to throw my hopes of getting into UP-Diliman straight into the trash bin. No. I have to burn those hopes, so I will never ever ever ever ever share my tremendous sorrow. I. Have. To. Move. On. Yeah. I guess I do have to. ACET's in less than a week, and..you guessed it..I haven't moved on from my previous CET. Maybe it'll be always like this. CET after CET after CET..I have to share my laments in a simultaneous way. I guess my imaginary friends have to get used this.
"God does not always want us to be happy. If it were so, he wouldn't have given us tears. Sometimes he wants to make us cry. As a doctor would have slapped us to make us cry after He has delivered us into this world, God gives us trials for the same reason - so we realize that we are alive, and that we have to breathe to stay alive."
-Red Kinoko
------------------------
"Do you tie your shoelaces so your shoes don't fall off or do you do it so you don't fly out of them?"
Red Kinoko's quote is undoubtedly the most novel thing that's circling in my mind right now.
Oooh. Let's talk about this kind of people who adheres to things that aren't usually in their field of interest, but they are hence adhering to just to get to climb that ladder that more or less represents ever cliques in the high school department.
What are they called again? Oh yes. POSERS. How could I forget? I once became one, and God, it sucked the letters l and i and f and e out of the word 'life'.
Posers should definitely one of those ingenious seven wonders of the world. They are more surpassing than Macchu Picchu anyway.
I hate conformity. What I hate even more are conformists - people that are following trends and patterns, acting like chemicals on Mendleev's Periodic Table. Every one of us is ambitioned by God to be unique in a certain way. We sure are not to follow people whom we think are cool, just so we can be them ourselves.
I am contemplating on why kids of my age have this egregious desire to be cool.
I don't understand it, really. It's like algebra for a freshman; it's notably abstract, and forces you to think about it all the time because the world is just so full of it.
--------------------
------------------------------
I would always think about this statement most of us would ponder during those burdening and mishapping times of our lives: 'If God loves us, then why are there calamities? Why are there persecutions? Why do we have to go through these sufferings, when we can just go through that happy and intoxicating route to paradise?'
It would be very hypocritical to say that I'm writing this just to shake the monstrosity out of every one of us, but if you are begging me to differ right now, let me just say that I'm going through a 'depression 2' stage. You may remember well that I went through the first and gruelling part of this stage last summer, but ugh. I though that my suicidal and 'OMG just kill me now' had ended on my birthday, but pertaining to my ever-unreliable ignorance, there is this so-called 2nd stage of that tedious murder of emotions.
On my part, I would always ask God the same question before I go to sleep. "God, if I really am a smart-ass, why is my GPA within the critical level of our education dam? I guess I have to say goodbye to UP-Diliman, huh?" I'm losing hope, for Christ's sake.
And now, it is conclusively evident that my problem, after all, is getting into the most prestigious state university on the land. I am still on the verge of belief that University of the Philippines is my home; this is where my non-conformity and mendaciousness belong. I know I have to let go of that dream, but no, ladies and gentlemen. My daydreams aren't composed of romances and other cognates. Hell no.
They are, instead, filled with moving pictures of myself, driving that oh-so-sexy Mitsubishi Evolution IX around the College of Engineering. Even if you take away that part where I drive, you still can't drag that fact that I, a very egotistical and conceited half-shit/half-girl(hard to believe, huh? It makes me wonder why I have XX as chromosomes too), passed the UPCAT. God, getting into UP-Diliman is waaaaaaaaay waaaaaay WAAAAY better than a full-body liposuction by those Beverly Hills dermatology doctors. I'd rather be obese all my life than be a dumbass.
But I guess I have to accept the grotesque and oh-so sucky certainty that I did, after all, screw up that UPCAT. Maybe UP-Diliman's not really for me. Maybe I deserve a better university for my collegiate education, wherein I will learn that all of what I'm thinking right now can be laughable in more ways than one.
All I can swear now is..that university better be an Ivy, or I just made a fool of myself by asserting that I'll get into some college that is undoubtedly better than UP-Diliman(which is oh-so highly unlikely anyway).
Even if I was seated next to a Pisay student instead of that one helluva Povedan who challenged my agility and shading skills during the UPCAT, the dubious truth still remains; my arrogant brain is not enough for me to pass this test. Even if I got a 98 on Computer last year, I don't think that THAT would even make a single difference. Even if I studied my ass off the day before my UPCAT schedule, I don't think that any of that studying I did would even make a tiny difference. Even if I found the UPCAT a little no-brainer, I still don't think that THAT scrupulous and awfully-haughty conclusion will ever EVER EVER pass me to the university of my wildest and wettest dreams.
And yeah. Decisively, I am making a big deal out of this. So from this day forward, I guess I have to throw my hopes of getting into UP-Diliman straight into the trash bin. No. I have to burn those hopes, so I will never ever ever ever ever share my tremendous sorrow. I. Have. To. Move. On. Yeah. I guess I do have to. ACET's in less than a week, and..you guessed it..I haven't moved on from my previous CET. Maybe it'll be always like this. CET after CET after CET..I have to share my laments in a simultaneous way. I guess my imaginary friends have to get used this.
"God does not always want us to be happy. If it were so, he wouldn't have given us tears. Sometimes he wants to make us cry. As a doctor would have slapped us to make us cry after He has delivered us into this world, God gives us trials for the same reason - so we realize that we are alive, and that we have to breathe to stay alive."
-Red Kinoko
------------------------
"Do you tie your shoelaces so your shoes don't fall off or do you do it so you don't fly out of them?"
Red Kinoko's quote is undoubtedly the most novel thing that's circling in my mind right now.
Oooh. Let's talk about this kind of people who adheres to things that aren't usually in their field of interest, but they are hence adhering to just to get to climb that ladder that more or less represents ever cliques in the high school department.
What are they called again? Oh yes. POSERS. How could I forget? I once became one, and God, it sucked the letters l and i and f and e out of the word 'life'.
Posers should definitely one of those ingenious seven wonders of the world. They are more surpassing than Macchu Picchu anyway.
I hate conformity. What I hate even more are conformists - people that are following trends and patterns, acting like chemicals on Mendleev's Periodic Table. Every one of us is ambitioned by God to be unique in a certain way. We sure are not to follow people whom we think are cool, just so we can be them ourselves.
I am contemplating on why kids of my age have this egregious desire to be cool.
I don't understand it, really. It's like algebra for a freshman; it's notably abstract, and forces you to think about it all the time because the world is just so full of it.
--------------------
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Ideally Confused
Verisimilitudes has this extraordinary way of killing me languidly.
I am going to take that NCAE seriously. Probably because I think I chose the WRONG course. I don't know, really. If that 'univehsiteh' editor-in-chief from a scholastic magazine hadn't asked what courses people in my batch are interested in taking up, then my butt would still be stuffed with juicy pride.
In short, I think Engineering courses are not for me. Or for anybody who thinks they suck in more ways than one.
I don't know anyone who is interested in taking up an engineering course too. Distinctively mind-boggling, isn't it?
Well, God. If it's really really my kismet to be the next hardcore engineer who would change everything into mere technologically innovative, then PLEASE just give me a sign. Just please do.
----------------------
Many things happened since I last blogged about..well..nothing.
WHAT HAD HAPPENED SINCE THAT ASSHOLE BROKE MY HEART:
1. After 3 gruesome years of living as pristine cave people, we finally got hold of a land-line phone. All I can say is..it's not much of a difference anyway. Nobody's using it, for Christ's sake.
2. Seating arrangement in class was modified for the second quarter. And ugh. I was placed at the extreme left of last row, which is really a difficult place to be in, as I can experience it. I'm having a hard time taking in the voices of teachers and stuff. But all in all, I don't really care that much anyway.
3. After the UPCAT fever had alleviated, here comes the inevitable ACET misery smacking right in our stressed faces. But unlike the bad-ass questions in the UPCAT, those that would appear in the ACET will probably be expected or something, despite of what Mrs. Bronilla said. But hey, who said that I will take it seriously? It's ATENEO, isn't it?(Oh please. Pretend that you've read that post about my angst against that school)
4. The countless remixes of the grammatically-abusive song of Timbaland and Keri Hilson is pissing me off. I know how irrelevant that is, but that's the amusement I can afford to get these days.
5. I am clinically suffering from an absolutely irregular sleep pattern. This is what doctors call, 'insomnia lite'. It means that my brain just wouldn't shut down till my pituitary glands have detected that it's 12am on the dot. Conclusively, even if my body's itching to hibernate, my brain just wouldn't stop functioning. My mom's blaming the 6-day vacation last week. Nah. I don't think so.
-----------------------------
to be cont'd later
I am going to take that NCAE seriously. Probably because I think I chose the WRONG course. I don't know, really. If that 'univehsiteh' editor-in-chief from a scholastic magazine hadn't asked what courses people in my batch are interested in taking up, then my butt would still be stuffed with juicy pride.
In short, I think Engineering courses are not for me. Or for anybody who thinks they suck in more ways than one.
I don't know anyone who is interested in taking up an engineering course too. Distinctively mind-boggling, isn't it?
Well, God. If it's really really my kismet to be the next hardcore engineer who would change everything into mere technologically innovative, then PLEASE just give me a sign. Just please do.
----------------------
Many things happened since I last blogged about..well..nothing.
WHAT HAD HAPPENED SINCE THAT ASSHOLE BROKE MY HEART:
1. After 3 gruesome years of living as pristine cave people, we finally got hold of a land-line phone. All I can say is..it's not much of a difference anyway. Nobody's using it, for Christ's sake.
2. Seating arrangement in class was modified for the second quarter. And ugh. I was placed at the extreme left of last row, which is really a difficult place to be in, as I can experience it. I'm having a hard time taking in the voices of teachers and stuff. But all in all, I don't really care that much anyway.
3. After the UPCAT fever had alleviated, here comes the inevitable ACET misery smacking right in our stressed faces. But unlike the bad-ass questions in the UPCAT, those that would appear in the ACET will probably be expected or something, despite of what Mrs. Bronilla said. But hey, who said that I will take it seriously? It's ATENEO, isn't it?(Oh please. Pretend that you've read that post about my angst against that school)
4. The countless remixes of the grammatically-abusive song of Timbaland and Keri Hilson is pissing me off. I know how irrelevant that is, but that's the amusement I can afford to get these days.
5. I am clinically suffering from an absolutely irregular sleep pattern. This is what doctors call, 'insomnia lite'. It means that my brain just wouldn't shut down till my pituitary glands have detected that it's 12am on the dot. Conclusively, even if my body's itching to hibernate, my brain just wouldn't stop functioning. My mom's blaming the 6-day vacation last week. Nah. I don't think so.
-----------------------------
to be cont'd later
Sunday, August 19, 2007
My Senseless Ateneo Essay
Okay non-existent readers. Here you will read the most jargoned writing ever, filled with semicolons and moronic grammar.
Why did I post it here in the first place anyway? Well, I don't really know. Probably to show-off or something, if I DO HAVE anything below to show off.
Enjoy.
----------------------
Why did I post it here in the first place anyway? Well, I don't really know. Probably to show-off or something, if I DO HAVE anything below to show off.
Enjoy.
----------------------
Capricious.
If I would have to describe my life per se, capricious would be the only word in the dictionary that is perfect enough to hit that right spot. It is very unpredictable, which makes it very unbearable for me to live with it. It doesn’t have this steadfast rhythm, by which it could help me elucidate it in more ways than one.
Well, what life is?
All decisions that I have made throughout my life is nothing more or less than impulsive. Never had I once thought about something very carefully, or think about it as something more important than the other, or any other problems, for that matter. The same statement goes round and round through the corridors of my mind; ‘What’s the difference anyway? All these problems are just the same. The manner of solving them is ergo also the same.’ I think of decisions as things that aren’t all that life-changing, because I’ve somewhat pondered the fact that they can be reversible as I walk through the rocky paths of my life every single day.
That gobbledygook perspective of mine changed when I entered my junior year; the upstream of high school, as my mentors would put it into mere words.
I stopped making jargoned selections. Instead, I would think about something very scrupulously, because I’ve thoroughly seen that my impulsive decisions are awfully misleading me to the right places. It may seem very superficial, but this cogent realization is utterly the starting point of my self-cultivation.
From then, my school grades zoomed up to the point where people are actually acknowledging my side I missed out for several years. It was my persona that I thought I lost way back from my grade school days. Being studious is the side of which I’m referring to. Often times before, I would think about this as a very banal side. But evidently, thinking of studying as uninteresting gave me nothing, aside from poor grades and nags from my parents.
I was able to pick up that good pace again; excellent grades, nice comments, and superior impressions were the things I was able to pick up along the way. It seems that every moment spent in studying is very significant, yet fun. I was able to develop this aura, which was far from what I used to have before. This one kept me on top of things, more like motivated to learn more and be more. I know its clichéd, but I finally became the person that I wanted to be for all my life; a person on the right track, who very much knows where she’s going and heading to.
As I can see it, this self-improvement that I had is quintessential and as prerequisite as my daily needs. By thus, this improvement helped me to choose Ateneo de Manila University above all others. Its prestige and transcendence is enough to be acknowledged and considered, and I know that this is where I belong; my future lies in its superiority.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Misery of An Avoirdupois
People are reading you bloggy. Not sardonically, they are reading you. I don't know why, but they really are. It's kinda weird.
---------------------------
Classes today were still suspended. The good thing about this one is that it's actually raining, unlike yesterday, which truly lacked the enough precipitation to let you feel that classes are REALLY suspended. Otherwise, it just felt like an ordinary weekend day. Very bland, if I may say so.
And I still don't know why I'm talking about the most useless topic of them all; WEATHER. It's probably a sign that I should stop staring out of the window and hoping to see someone, or something, absurd. I should look at the mirror instead.
---------------------------
After finishing 20 Cantos in Dante Alighieri's epic Inferno, I've finally pondered on the topic that's been so versatile ever since Adam and Eve died; DEATH.
Death puts an end in everything.
Death is the ultimate period for any long sentence.
And apparently, death is something I'm not afraid of. Ever since the alleviation of my suicidal and depression stage, death became a joke for me. It's not something that I should think of, or should get ready to. Death now just becomes a word; a word that will never ever haunt my dreams again.
I remember that one time when I dreamt that I died because of my acute viral nasopharyngitis, which seems very unlikely because I've never heard anyone who died because of the common cold. I was a 5th grader by then, and God knows why I dreamt of such. I told my mom, then she told me to bite a wood or something. I dunno why, really. I told you mom can be so weird.
And yeah, the bottom line is...DEATH is nothing.
Seriously. It's just a joke.
----------------------
Do you know what I fervently miss?
Elementary crushes. WOOO.
I miss how I would go and act like a normal girl towards my friends and other classmates, and all of a sudden become this tomboy who would show an expression that's a cross between a smirk and a grin. Yes, a smrin.
I only had one crush for that whole 6 years in grade school. For as long as I can remember, his name was Alejandro. He became my classmate at the climax of my elementary education; 4th grade. It was in 4th grade that my inner state of being a nerd was manumitted. It was in 4th grade that I conquered the top of the world. It was in 4th grade that I became the person I want to be now.
Anyways, it was also in 4th grade that a sort of 'dramafest' was concluded in our school. And with such plays hanging around our noses, I was always picked as the female protagonist. You know..the mother of the child who'll be killed...the heroine..same old girly shiznits. And Alejandro would always be MY male protagonist.
And all of it was history.
I still believe that Alejandro's a sexy name, and he will be my TRUE LOVE.
HA. Yeah right.
---------------------------
Classes today were still suspended. The good thing about this one is that it's actually raining, unlike yesterday, which truly lacked the enough precipitation to let you feel that classes are REALLY suspended. Otherwise, it just felt like an ordinary weekend day. Very bland, if I may say so.
And I still don't know why I'm talking about the most useless topic of them all; WEATHER. It's probably a sign that I should stop staring out of the window and hoping to see someone, or something, absurd. I should look at the mirror instead.
---------------------------
After finishing 20 Cantos in Dante Alighieri's epic Inferno, I've finally pondered on the topic that's been so versatile ever since Adam and Eve died; DEATH.
Death puts an end in everything.
Death is the ultimate period for any long sentence.
And apparently, death is something I'm not afraid of. Ever since the alleviation of my suicidal and depression stage, death became a joke for me. It's not something that I should think of, or should get ready to. Death now just becomes a word; a word that will never ever haunt my dreams again.
I remember that one time when I dreamt that I died because of my acute viral nasopharyngitis, which seems very unlikely because I've never heard anyone who died because of the common cold. I was a 5th grader by then, and God knows why I dreamt of such. I told my mom, then she told me to bite a wood or something. I dunno why, really. I told you mom can be so weird.
And yeah, the bottom line is...DEATH is nothing.
Seriously. It's just a joke.
----------------------
Do you know what I fervently miss?
Elementary crushes. WOOO.
I miss how I would go and act like a normal girl towards my friends and other classmates, and all of a sudden become this tomboy who would show an expression that's a cross between a smirk and a grin. Yes, a smrin.
I only had one crush for that whole 6 years in grade school. For as long as I can remember, his name was Alejandro. He became my classmate at the climax of my elementary education; 4th grade. It was in 4th grade that my inner state of being a nerd was manumitted. It was in 4th grade that I conquered the top of the world. It was in 4th grade that I became the person I want to be now.
Anyways, it was also in 4th grade that a sort of 'dramafest' was concluded in our school. And with such plays hanging around our noses, I was always picked as the female protagonist. You know..the mother of the child who'll be killed...the heroine..same old girly shiznits. And Alejandro would always be MY male protagonist.
And all of it was history.
I still believe that Alejandro's a sexy name, and he will be my TRUE LOVE.
HA. Yeah right.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Obliterate My Lethargy
Before I start my rant again, I would first congratulate Room 3 and Room 4 for winning the first and third place respectively. And of course, congratulations to my 4-2, my ever-talented class, for winning the 2nd place for our songfest this year. Mewa was right. Not really bad for a non-DD class. In fact, all of it was excellent.
So yeah. CONGRATS 4-2!
--------------------------
I'm being abnormally weary and sleepy these days. Neither my mom, my sister, nor any of our maids can literally drag my sluggish ass out of the bed during mornings by which I have to wake up for school.
Mom's blaming my nocturnal wrongdoings every evening before I go and hit the sack. I don't really get her sometimes. I mean, I can't even think of something that I would do abnormally before I go to sleep. I piss in the toilet, read a book, piss a person off, then read a book. I don't find THAT unusual.
Classes got suspended again today. It seems that God is enjoying all of this by sending typhoons one after the other. Well, I don't find the suspension of classes really amusing. See, today was supposed to be my breakthrough-in-swimming day. Coach Rae, my swimming coach in my GIFT class, promised me that for our next GIFT meeting, I'll be doing laps with the champs. I guess I should probably happy. I mean, 2 GIFT meetings had already been off since last week. Isn't that nice?
I don't really know.
-------------------------------
My whole afternoon revolved around two channels: National Geographic and ANC News Channel. The real slug in me unleashed as I relaxed in front of the television with the handy-dandy remote control in my right hand, and a bottle of Coke, which I would swig towards my mouth every 2 minutes or less. Now that's THE LIFE. The precipitation outside made everything else more comfy in a much more torpid way.
For about an hour, repetitive news had surprisingly impressed me.
That lasted till I arrived at channel 41 by which I saw amoebas asexually reproducing, which has amazed me in a non-biological way or whatsoever. I was about to switch to Nickelodeon and sing along with that deranged Spanish preschooler with an abnormal blue-and-yellow monkey who wears those red boots that is 10x at the most bigger than its foot (breathe..) when the usage of the word 'SEX' by the narrator has become so incessant that I became very sexually interested at it all.
Not really new for me.
Sorry to say this, but the show turned me on. SORRY IF I HAVE TO SAY THAT ONE, but it really did, in a very very very strange way.
See, the program was all about how different animals have sex and stuff. For example, did you know that a flat worm has both sperm and egg cells? The funny thing here is when a flat worm meets another flat worm to have sex with, they would fight over each other in order to determine who gets to play the 'man' role. Get it? If you don't, try being more sexual.
Anyways, the flat worms' battle for the man role really cracked the hell out of me up. The goal is that whoever gets to sting the other worm badly, that one would be the lucky one to get the manly role. And..-get this-...they sting with their itty-bitty penises. The other funny thing is that some lucky flat worms get to have two penises, which I think is a minor advantage. I was laughing and groaning at the same time.
The show was really educating..and fuuuun. I was able to grasp mostly the jocular parts like:
- Female spiders like their men's legs hairy, which is awfully ironic when you would interrelate it by your own preferences.
-A female butterfly can only have sex once in their whole look-at-me-I'm-gorgeous-and-flying life. The only male butterfly that was able to have sex with the female butterfly had put a seal on the female butterfly's ovary(or whatever) so that no other male butterfly can ever have sex with her again. I will never think of the female butterflies the same way ever again.
-Female anacondas are really that SCARCE. Male anacondas would wrap themselves around the female anaconda's body for probably a month or so in order for the female anaconda to determine who she will have sex with. Uncanny. Really.
------------------------
No classes again for tomorrow. You did it, Egay. You sure did.
I guess tomorrow's gonna be another National Geographic Channel day. I still can't believe animal pornography turned me on. Nauseating. Sickening. Repugnant.
EEEEEW.
So yeah. CONGRATS 4-2!
--------------------------
I'm being abnormally weary and sleepy these days. Neither my mom, my sister, nor any of our maids can literally drag my sluggish ass out of the bed during mornings by which I have to wake up for school.
Mom's blaming my nocturnal wrongdoings every evening before I go and hit the sack. I don't really get her sometimes. I mean, I can't even think of something that I would do abnormally before I go to sleep. I piss in the toilet, read a book, piss a person off, then read a book. I don't find THAT unusual.
Classes got suspended again today. It seems that God is enjoying all of this by sending typhoons one after the other. Well, I don't find the suspension of classes really amusing. See, today was supposed to be my breakthrough-in-swimming day. Coach Rae, my swimming coach in my GIFT class, promised me that for our next GIFT meeting, I'll be doing laps with the champs. I guess I should probably happy. I mean, 2 GIFT meetings had already been off since last week. Isn't that nice?
I don't really know.
-------------------------------
My whole afternoon revolved around two channels: National Geographic and ANC News Channel. The real slug in me unleashed as I relaxed in front of the television with the handy-dandy remote control in my right hand, and a bottle of Coke, which I would swig towards my mouth every 2 minutes or less. Now that's THE LIFE. The precipitation outside made everything else more comfy in a much more torpid way.
For about an hour, repetitive news had surprisingly impressed me.
That lasted till I arrived at channel 41 by which I saw amoebas asexually reproducing, which has amazed me in a non-biological way or whatsoever. I was about to switch to Nickelodeon and sing along with that deranged Spanish preschooler with an abnormal blue-and-yellow monkey who wears those red boots that is 10x at the most bigger than its foot (breathe..) when the usage of the word 'SEX' by the narrator has become so incessant that I became very sexually interested at it all.
Not really new for me.
Sorry to say this, but the show turned me on. SORRY IF I HAVE TO SAY THAT ONE, but it really did, in a very very very strange way.
See, the program was all about how different animals have sex and stuff. For example, did you know that a flat worm has both sperm and egg cells? The funny thing here is when a flat worm meets another flat worm to have sex with, they would fight over each other in order to determine who gets to play the 'man' role. Get it? If you don't, try being more sexual.
Anyways, the flat worms' battle for the man role really cracked the hell out of me up. The goal is that whoever gets to sting the other worm badly, that one would be the lucky one to get the manly role. And..-get this-...they sting with their itty-bitty penises. The other funny thing is that some lucky flat worms get to have two penises, which I think is a minor advantage. I was laughing and groaning at the same time.
The show was really educating..and fuuuun. I was able to grasp mostly the jocular parts like:
- Female spiders like their men's legs hairy, which is awfully ironic when you would interrelate it by your own preferences.
-A female butterfly can only have sex once in their whole look-at-me-I'm-gorgeous-and-flying life. The only male butterfly that was able to have sex with the female butterfly had put a seal on the female butterfly's ovary(or whatever) so that no other male butterfly can ever have sex with her again. I will never think of the female butterflies the same way ever again.
-Female anacondas are really that SCARCE. Male anacondas would wrap themselves around the female anaconda's body for probably a month or so in order for the female anaconda to determine who she will have sex with. Uncanny. Really.
------------------------
No classes again for tomorrow. You did it, Egay. You sure did.
I guess tomorrow's gonna be another National Geographic Channel day. I still can't believe animal pornography turned me on. Nauseating. Sickening. Repugnant.
EEEEEW.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
The Worst is Not Really Over After All
I don't really know why I keep updating this sanctuary of mine.
Well. Boredom at the least, probably.
Yesterday can be summarized strangely into one word; UNCANNY.
It is uncanny in a way that it did not really occur to me that it was, in fact, Friday. It's hard to apparently realize it on the day itself because it doesn't feel like it. Yesterday felt really Monday-ish. I guess it's because of the two typhoons' fault. People are still somewhat full of energy or something.
Maybe that's the reason why they tried to kill us at our songfest practice yesterday. URGH.
----------------------------
Graduation Picture-taking later. I dunno if I'm going to unleash my defined sexuality by applying the lightest makeup ever on my face and blow-dry the pubic hair on my head, or just go there au naturale. The latter part won't probably even have the slightest effect on the picture per se, I guess.
Graduation seems so far away, yet here comes those things that are trying so hard to make it appear near. Well, everytime I think of it, the thing itself just excites me. I mean, here it is. I've made it through purgatory, now I'm going to hell. Finally.
Although it doesn't seem likely that I'll be finishing off my high school education with flying colors, I'll be taking my diploma with more pride and happiness than I will ever have yet.
-----------------------------------
I thought I lost it all, but yeah, TRY AGAIN.
When I flunked the math exam, I lost hope. It's merely a lost of interest in studying, or even enjoying the subject. Don't you get it? All my efforts for Advanced Algebra were lost. How come I flunked the thing that I understand the most? It doesn't seem likely for anyone who is enjoying a particular subject to fail it, or I don't really know. Imagine Ms. Mondigo, my Physics teacher, failing Physics. Wouldn't that be so degrading on both our part as students, and her part as a teacher? I may not be a professional(but a stinker, at the most), but that's what I felt. My whole I-want-to-be-an-engineer-someday plan was has just been bulldozed by that friggin math test.
It's geometry all over again.
But thank God for yesterday was really uncanny, I semi-nailed my Physics exam. I knew I could count on optics. Ha.
Which thus makes me redundant for questioning God about why we have to make a periscope anyway.
---------------------------
I hate being kind. No, really. I do. I want to morph myself into this big and evil monster that would eat people up if they wouldn't abide with my rules.
But I guess God doesn't want me to be one. Mom said that it's an utter kismet that I've been appointed as a chairman of a committee that doesn't do anything but to maintain the cleanliness of the classroom. It's probably a lesson, you know..to clean my stuffs and all. My lunch yesterday is still in my bag, mind you.
The problem here is I'm finding a hard time making people clean. It's really weird. I usually boss people around. But if it's the whole class I'm about to give orders with, my heart suddenly turns to gold.
Lorainne, I guess you have to evil-fy yourself once again.
I'm going to pray to Hitler later.
-----------------------------
Here are some funny quotes that I love.
Homer Simpson: Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Lisa, you're a Buddhist, so you believe in reincarnation. Eventually, Snowball will be reborn as a higher lifeform... like a snowman.
FAMILY GUY
Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.
Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
Stewie: What did you just say?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.
Lois: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell?
Well. Boredom at the least, probably.
Yesterday can be summarized strangely into one word; UNCANNY.
It is uncanny in a way that it did not really occur to me that it was, in fact, Friday. It's hard to apparently realize it on the day itself because it doesn't feel like it. Yesterday felt really Monday-ish. I guess it's because of the two typhoons' fault. People are still somewhat full of energy or something.
Maybe that's the reason why they tried to kill us at our songfest practice yesterday. URGH.
----------------------------
Graduation Picture-taking later. I dunno if I'm going to unleash my defined sexuality by applying the lightest makeup ever on my face and blow-dry the pubic hair on my head, or just go there au naturale. The latter part won't probably even have the slightest effect on the picture per se, I guess.
Graduation seems so far away, yet here comes those things that are trying so hard to make it appear near. Well, everytime I think of it, the thing itself just excites me. I mean, here it is. I've made it through purgatory, now I'm going to hell. Finally.
Although it doesn't seem likely that I'll be finishing off my high school education with flying colors, I'll be taking my diploma with more pride and happiness than I will ever have yet.
-----------------------------------
I thought I lost it all, but yeah, TRY AGAIN.
When I flunked the math exam, I lost hope. It's merely a lost of interest in studying, or even enjoying the subject. Don't you get it? All my efforts for Advanced Algebra were lost. How come I flunked the thing that I understand the most? It doesn't seem likely for anyone who is enjoying a particular subject to fail it, or I don't really know. Imagine Ms. Mondigo, my Physics teacher, failing Physics. Wouldn't that be so degrading on both our part as students, and her part as a teacher? I may not be a professional(but a stinker, at the most), but that's what I felt. My whole I-want-to-be-an-engineer-someday plan was has just been bulldozed by that friggin math test.
It's geometry all over again.
But thank God for yesterday was really uncanny, I semi-nailed my Physics exam. I knew I could count on optics. Ha.
Which thus makes me redundant for questioning God about why we have to make a periscope anyway.
---------------------------
I hate being kind. No, really. I do. I want to morph myself into this big and evil monster that would eat people up if they wouldn't abide with my rules.
But I guess God doesn't want me to be one. Mom said that it's an utter kismet that I've been appointed as a chairman of a committee that doesn't do anything but to maintain the cleanliness of the classroom. It's probably a lesson, you know..to clean my stuffs and all. My lunch yesterday is still in my bag, mind you.
The problem here is I'm finding a hard time making people clean. It's really weird. I usually boss people around. But if it's the whole class I'm about to give orders with, my heart suddenly turns to gold.
Lorainne, I guess you have to evil-fy yourself once again.
I'm going to pray to Hitler later.
-----------------------------
Here are some funny quotes that I love.
Homer Simpson: Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Lisa, you're a Buddhist, so you believe in reincarnation. Eventually, Snowball will be reborn as a higher lifeform... like a snowman.
FAMILY GUY
Stewie: You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that.
Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
Stewie: What did you just say?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.
Lois: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell?
Friday, August 10, 2007
Animosity
How do you know if one thing's over?
Many things can be put to an end in many sense. For example; a movie can end with the usual happy ending, or a tragic one, or something that will trick people's minds of what would happen if the movie will have a second part.
UH-OH. Sappy alert! Sappy alert!
And I thought getting into the school newspaper helped me moved on.
But I guess things aren't as predictable as they seem to be. I've made a terrible mistake and now I.. I guess I have to go through the gasgas process of having to suffer the consequences of everything I did in the past, I suppose.
-------------------------------
Okay. Just to clear up some your bad, bad, and very very bad bewilderment about my weight issues; yes, I am inconspicuously dieting.
Oops. Sorry for that. You probably forgot the fact that I'm as enormous as Hagrid, or any other monstrous and vicious celebrity you came to know of.
I don't really get the point why people have to acknowledge the fact that you're fat, and big, and yeah, MONSTROUS. I mean, can't they just shut up about it? Yes, Oui, Tak! I know I'm fat. I know I'm big. I know I'm massive and gigantic and all, but can you just lay off of that fact for umm..I don't know..the rest of my life?
I know that if I would die right now, I would go straight to hell. But would it matter anyway?
I beg to differ.
My life is ALREADY a living hell, thanks a lot to them b*tches who just can't get a life. Maybe the hell I would go in to is the complete replica of heaven, with the cherubs and all.
I'm probably intimidating. HA. Funny. Really.
-----------------------------
I wish the Memory Charm would work in real life. If it is to be offered in Dra. Vicky Belo's dermatological shiznits, I'm going to sell both of my thighs to the wet market as soon as possible just for Dra. Vicky to erase everything, definitely EVERYTHING out of my mind.
Oh wait. I think that's possible. Not the Memory Charm part, but about the memory-erasing methodology.
In an episode of House, a fireman was brought to the hospital because of his heart attacks that will initiate for unknown reasons. Now as usual, Dr. House, together with his team, did everything to know what those reasons are. And as simple as it may seem, the culprit was after all the girlfriend of his older brother, who also works in the fire industry(HA. Ostensibly in MORE ways than one.).
That fire industry is really funny. It really is.
Anyways, his heart would always ache everytime he sees the girl. Why? Because he can't accept the fact that the girl he truly loves is the girlfriend of his brother. So, what House and his team did was too connect these wires and stuff to his brain, and probably electrocuted him neurologically. When he woke up, he can't remember a thing. His voice is even high-pitched, which had awfully broken the sad ambiance of the scene. It cracked me up like the fire industry joke aforementioned above did. HA-HA.
Now that electrocuting thing is a major breakthrough in the field of Emo people, or even partially Emo people, or even doubting Emo people like me. Imagine us getting all 'life is so cruel!' or 'God, I want to die!', and probably the next thing you may know is we've been all electrocuted and POOF! No more Emo people in this world. Black eyeliners are now just for those who would use makeup or something. A blade will just be an apparatus used to take hair off. Emo would just be a funny word used to describe people who haven't been electrocuted yet.
Now that I would like.
Many things can be put to an end in many sense. For example; a movie can end with the usual happy ending, or a tragic one, or something that will trick people's minds of what would happen if the movie will have a second part.
UH-OH. Sappy alert! Sappy alert!
And I thought getting into the school newspaper helped me moved on.
But I guess things aren't as predictable as they seem to be. I've made a terrible mistake and now I.. I guess I have to go through the gasgas process of having to suffer the consequences of everything I did in the past, I suppose.
-------------------------------
Okay. Just to clear up some your bad, bad, and very very bad bewilderment about my weight issues; yes, I am inconspicuously dieting.
Oops. Sorry for that. You probably forgot the fact that I'm as enormous as Hagrid, or any other monstrous and vicious celebrity you came to know of.
I don't really get the point why people have to acknowledge the fact that you're fat, and big, and yeah, MONSTROUS. I mean, can't they just shut up about it? Yes, Oui, Tak! I know I'm fat. I know I'm big. I know I'm massive and gigantic and all, but can you just lay off of that fact for umm..I don't know..the rest of my life?
I know that if I would die right now, I would go straight to hell. But would it matter anyway?
I beg to differ.
My life is ALREADY a living hell, thanks a lot to them b*tches who just can't get a life. Maybe the hell I would go in to is the complete replica of heaven, with the cherubs and all.
I'm probably intimidating. HA. Funny. Really.
-----------------------------
I wish the Memory Charm would work in real life. If it is to be offered in Dra. Vicky Belo's dermatological shiznits, I'm going to sell both of my thighs to the wet market as soon as possible just for Dra. Vicky to erase everything, definitely EVERYTHING out of my mind.
Oh wait. I think that's possible. Not the Memory Charm part, but about the memory-erasing methodology.
In an episode of House, a fireman was brought to the hospital because of his heart attacks that will initiate for unknown reasons. Now as usual, Dr. House, together with his team, did everything to know what those reasons are. And as simple as it may seem, the culprit was after all the girlfriend of his older brother, who also works in the fire industry(HA. Ostensibly in MORE ways than one.).
That fire industry is really funny. It really is.
Anyways, his heart would always ache everytime he sees the girl. Why? Because he can't accept the fact that the girl he truly loves is the girlfriend of his brother. So, what House and his team did was too connect these wires and stuff to his brain, and probably electrocuted him neurologically. When he woke up, he can't remember a thing. His voice is even high-pitched, which had awfully broken the sad ambiance of the scene. It cracked me up like the fire industry joke aforementioned above did. HA-HA.
Now that electrocuting thing is a major breakthrough in the field of Emo people, or even partially Emo people, or even doubting Emo people like me. Imagine us getting all 'life is so cruel!' or 'God, I want to die!', and probably the next thing you may know is we've been all electrocuted and POOF! No more Emo people in this world. Black eyeliners are now just for those who would use makeup or something. A blade will just be an apparatus used to take hair off. Emo would just be a funny word used to describe people who haven't been electrocuted yet.
Now that I would like.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Perchance
Today is supposed to be hell day.
I was thinking a while ago what the hell would I do first when we would arrive back home. See, classes were merely suspended today. I don't know if I would be angry, or hangry(a combination of happiness and angry. Hm. It makes me wonder too.). I slept very late last night just for my laboratory report for Physics and GAH. All efforts were utterly wasted, or so I think they are.
It came upon to me that I haven't posted anything near current and interesting here in my online sanctuary. So, here it goes.
-----------------------------
UPCAT was semi-tedious.
I slept at my grandparent's house on the eve of my examination. I don't really know why I did. Mom told me it's because grandpa would be the one to bring me to UP Diliman, and fetch me after.
I still don't get it amidst the narrated statement.
Anyways, we arrived at UP for an early benchmark of 5:30am. It was in fact, very early, relative to my scheduled exam, which wouldn't really take place until the clock strikes half past 6 o'clock. But I really did enjoy the fact that I was an hour early. The utter sense that there are so many different people who would also take the UPCAT and from very very different walks of life excites me. Don't mind to ask me. I'll just gape at you.
The test was..okay. The language proficiency and reading comprehension part were(I think) the easiest part of the test. Those were the parts where you can still show off your I-can-answer-really-faster-than-you skills to those other people. It will intimidate the souls out of your batchmates.
But good Lord. Have mercy on those who made the math and science part. Thou shall burn in hell. All I can say is..my former Biology teacher better be dead or I'll climb my way to Baguio just to stab her cold-heartedly 1 gazillion fucking times with a butcher's knife or something. The Biology questions erased everything from my brain in an instant. Damn that dumbass b*tch.
Math was absolutely excruciating. It drove my best sanity away.
And now, I think I left it somewhere.
-------------------------
Analyze the story of this one.
MATH PERIODICAL EXAM = FLUNKAROO
I cried last night just because of this. I can't believe I'm making it all hypocritical by deciding to be an engineer. How the hell can I even be one? I can't even pass a single friggin math test.
Goodbye UP dreams.
-------------------------
The sandman is having the time of his life by pouring humongous amounts of sleeping sand(or whatever you may call it. I don't like imaginary friends like him and tooth fairy anyway) on my eyes right now.
Anyways, I have a mighty-schmighty confession to make.
I'm planning to back out that chance of writing for the school paper.
I'm already a staffer, but it seems I'm too intimidated by the other people working for the school newspaper for my own good.
I don't really like meetings.
I don't really like pressure.
But my articles being read by other people? Holly-holly-hoo.
I'm mussed up. Really really.
I was thinking a while ago what the hell would I do first when we would arrive back home. See, classes were merely suspended today. I don't know if I would be angry, or hangry(a combination of happiness and angry. Hm. It makes me wonder too.). I slept very late last night just for my laboratory report for Physics and GAH. All efforts were utterly wasted, or so I think they are.
It came upon to me that I haven't posted anything near current and interesting here in my online sanctuary. So, here it goes.
-----------------------------
UPCAT was semi-tedious.
I slept at my grandparent's house on the eve of my examination. I don't really know why I did. Mom told me it's because grandpa would be the one to bring me to UP Diliman, and fetch me after.
I still don't get it amidst the narrated statement.
Anyways, we arrived at UP for an early benchmark of 5:30am. It was in fact, very early, relative to my scheduled exam, which wouldn't really take place until the clock strikes half past 6 o'clock. But I really did enjoy the fact that I was an hour early. The utter sense that there are so many different people who would also take the UPCAT and from very very different walks of life excites me. Don't mind to ask me. I'll just gape at you.
The test was..okay. The language proficiency and reading comprehension part were(I think) the easiest part of the test. Those were the parts where you can still show off your I-can-answer-really-faster-than-you skills to those other people. It will intimidate the souls out of your batchmates.
But good Lord. Have mercy on those who made the math and science part. Thou shall burn in hell. All I can say is..my former Biology teacher better be dead or I'll climb my way to Baguio just to stab her cold-heartedly 1 gazillion fucking times with a butcher's knife or something. The Biology questions erased everything from my brain in an instant. Damn that dumbass b*tch.
Math was absolutely excruciating. It drove my best sanity away.
And now, I think I left it somewhere.
-------------------------
Analyze the story of this one.
MATH PERIODICAL EXAM = FLUNKAROO
I cried last night just because of this. I can't believe I'm making it all hypocritical by deciding to be an engineer. How the hell can I even be one? I can't even pass a single friggin math test.
Goodbye UP dreams.
-------------------------
The sandman is having the time of his life by pouring humongous amounts of sleeping sand(or whatever you may call it. I don't like imaginary friends like him and tooth fairy anyway) on my eyes right now.
Anyways, I have a mighty-schmighty confession to make.
I'm planning to back out that chance of writing for the school paper.
I'm already a staffer, but it seems I'm too intimidated by the other people working for the school newspaper for my own good.
I don't really like meetings.
I don't really like pressure.
But my articles being read by other people? Holly-holly-hoo.
I'm mussed up. Really really.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Intensifying Amour Propre
Now I know what I really loathe.
STUPID PIRATED CD'S OF SOFTWARES THAT I ABSOLUTELY NEED.
I used to adore it though, like a year ago. Actually, all of my PC softwares are pirated, except for Windows per se. You know how Billie-oh-dearie hates it when his system is not original.
I went to a local plaza lately to supposedly buy a pirated DVD copy of Apocalypto, for it is one of those included in our English test tomorrow. But thank the Muslim-owned stalls for I didn't find a single copy. Instead, I just ended up buying a DVD of Evan Almighty.
And this DVD-ROM filled with Macromedia softwares that I truly need to develop my flash programming and video-producing skills. At first, I was just turned on by the fact that the seller isn't one bit of a Muslim. He looks like a hot guy from a Koreanovela that I've been addicted to last year. And UGH he's so hot. I can't believe I'm morphing into a heterosexual again.
Anyway, I bought the CD for 150 pesos. It is, in my opinion, very expensive. But thank my mom for raising my allowance by a hundred percentile. I bought the thing the minute I saw it. No questions asked.
And so, I went home excitedly. Well duh. I acted like this little kid with a new Transformers action figure that is packed tightly with hundreds of Yale padlocks. Right after paying the tricycle driver and watching a bit of this new telenevola about an ex-housemate JUST to piss the hell out of me, I hastily jammed the CD into the DVD-ROM drive of our humongous CPU.
And, to my very very very disappointed surprise, it didn't work. The CD drive can't install the freaking softwares for reasons unknown.
I sure am one hell of an impulsive buyer.
Damn that hot vendor.
---------------------------------
English.
Filipino.
Physics.
I'm still on the look out for that reason why I'm not studying.
Maybe because the Advanced Algebra just disconcerted my truncated brain. IT ABSOLUTELY DID.
----------------------------------
The weather in this country is becoming SOOO baaaad every single minute.
I'm wondering if this dry spell would continue till Christmas.
Oh, hoop-dee-doo. Looks like Hades is enjoying every minute of this.
----------------------------------
You know what I like? This quote:
"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul." - Ella Wilcox
This one's very relevant to what Mrs. Bronilla said last Tuesday during Economics class. She told us that she doesn't get the point of attending review classes nor panic reviewing for the UPCAT or any other CETs. CETs doesn't measure your ability to do this and that, but what you were able to know and garner through those 3 years of your gruesome high school life.
The point here is, if UP-Diliman's really my destiny, then I'll surely nail it.
If it's not, then there's still Ateneo or DLSU or any other schools that's in my circle of kismet.
Oh Lord. Just please do help me.
STUPID PIRATED CD'S OF SOFTWARES THAT I ABSOLUTELY NEED.
I used to adore it though, like a year ago. Actually, all of my PC softwares are pirated, except for Windows per se. You know how Billie-oh-dearie hates it when his system is not original.
I went to a local plaza lately to supposedly buy a pirated DVD copy of Apocalypto, for it is one of those included in our English test tomorrow. But thank the Muslim-owned stalls for I didn't find a single copy. Instead, I just ended up buying a DVD of Evan Almighty.
And this DVD-ROM filled with Macromedia softwares that I truly need to develop my flash programming and video-producing skills. At first, I was just turned on by the fact that the seller isn't one bit of a Muslim. He looks like a hot guy from a Koreanovela that I've been addicted to last year. And UGH he's so hot. I can't believe I'm morphing into a heterosexual again.
Anyway, I bought the CD for 150 pesos. It is, in my opinion, very expensive. But thank my mom for raising my allowance by a hundred percentile. I bought the thing the minute I saw it. No questions asked.
And so, I went home excitedly. Well duh. I acted like this little kid with a new Transformers action figure that is packed tightly with hundreds of Yale padlocks. Right after paying the tricycle driver and watching a bit of this new telenevola about an ex-housemate JUST to piss the hell out of me, I hastily jammed the CD into the DVD-ROM drive of our humongous CPU.
And, to my very very very disappointed surprise, it didn't work. The CD drive can't install the freaking softwares for reasons unknown.
I sure am one hell of an impulsive buyer.
Damn that hot vendor.
---------------------------------
English.
Filipino.
Physics.
I'm still on the look out for that reason why I'm not studying.
Maybe because the Advanced Algebra just disconcerted my truncated brain. IT ABSOLUTELY DID.
----------------------------------
The weather in this country is becoming SOOO baaaad every single minute.
I'm wondering if this dry spell would continue till Christmas.
Oh, hoop-dee-doo. Looks like Hades is enjoying every minute of this.
----------------------------------
You know what I like? This quote:
"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul." - Ella Wilcox
This one's very relevant to what Mrs. Bronilla said last Tuesday during Economics class. She told us that she doesn't get the point of attending review classes nor panic reviewing for the UPCAT or any other CETs. CETs doesn't measure your ability to do this and that, but what you were able to know and garner through those 3 years of your gruesome high school life.
The point here is, if UP-Diliman's really my destiny, then I'll surely nail it.
If it's not, then there's still Ateneo or DLSU or any other schools that's in my circle of kismet.
Oh Lord. Just please do help me.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
An Interim Anguish
"When there's sadness, happiness would surely follow"
It sorta sounds like karma, but hypothetically speaking, it's not.
Brrf. Remember that last post? The one wherein I thought that my dumbness lead me to the total extermination of my Pauliworld dreams? Well, no. It's wrong after all. AGAIN.
We were given another chance yesterday by Sir Decano, my research teacher who also happens to be a journalism teacher of the 2nd year students. We were asked to write:
a. A 100-word essay on why we are deserving to be a part of Pauliworld and
b. A 150-word(or less) essay about the SD and DD classes
The 2 essays was due by 5 pm yesterday.
(As of this writing, Mr. Revillame is doing a guh-reat job pissing my ass off with his daily-noontime-show jokes)
And yeah, imagine the hassle..make that the GRUESOME hassle..of yesterday's lunch break. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do first. The article? Review for elective? Review for the CL quiz? Geez. I almost cried. Good thing I still have some apathy left somewhere in my heart.
And fast forward everything to what I saw a while ago in the Pauliworld bulletin board...
"PARAJAS, LORAINE"
I don't know if I'm going to be happy, or insulted. See, my last name is Paragas, not Parajas. No offense, but I don't think that's very catholic. It sounds like I'm a member of a Muslim rebel group in Basilan or something. And yeah, I don't really care about the wrong spelling of my name. After 16 years of having a very complex name, I'm probably used to it anyway.
But what matters is..
I PASSED! I PASSED! I went through all those friggin screenings!
I'M NOW A PART OF PAULIWORLD!
Conclusively, I can now say that a big extra-curricular break was all I needed all along to move on.
YAY! Congratulations to all those who passed too.
It sorta sounds like karma, but hypothetically speaking, it's not.
Brrf. Remember that last post? The one wherein I thought that my dumbness lead me to the total extermination of my Pauliworld dreams? Well, no. It's wrong after all. AGAIN.
We were given another chance yesterday by Sir Decano, my research teacher who also happens to be a journalism teacher of the 2nd year students. We were asked to write:
a. A 100-word essay on why we are deserving to be a part of Pauliworld and
b. A 150-word(or less) essay about the SD and DD classes
The 2 essays was due by 5 pm yesterday.
(As of this writing, Mr. Revillame is doing a guh-reat job pissing my ass off with his daily-noontime-show jokes)
And yeah, imagine the hassle..make that the GRUESOME hassle..of yesterday's lunch break. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do first. The article? Review for elective? Review for the CL quiz? Geez. I almost cried. Good thing I still have some apathy left somewhere in my heart.
And fast forward everything to what I saw a while ago in the Pauliworld bulletin board...
"PARAJAS, LORAINE"
I don't know if I'm going to be happy, or insulted. See, my last name is Paragas, not Parajas. No offense, but I don't think that's very catholic. It sounds like I'm a member of a Muslim rebel group in Basilan or something. And yeah, I don't really care about the wrong spelling of my name. After 16 years of having a very complex name, I'm probably used to it anyway.
But what matters is..
I PASSED! I PASSED! I went through all those friggin screenings!
I'M NOW A PART OF PAULIWORLD!
Conclusively, I can now say that a big extra-curricular break was all I needed all along to move on.
YAY! Congratulations to all those who passed too.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
An Interim Euphoria
It is abominable in its every sense.
Very abominable. No. Terribly, at the most.
Thursday was a semi-hell day. Homeworks are still piled up in our bags, and everyone is being taunted by the urgency of the upcoming UPCAT, which unluckily would be on the fourth of August. But, I don't know. It was just a normal day for me, amidst that truckload of work I have to do at home. Way to go, CL scrapbook and Physics lab paper.
And then..
I texted Bianca, my seatmate, a mistake I was able to come across while analyzing the Bifocals experiment. I told her that the distance of the object should be 37cm, not 30. And so, she texted back, thanking me. But her message contained that ONE thing I never saw coming.
She said I passed Pauliworld. No, wait. She said, 'Congrats nga pala! Pumasa ka sa Pauliworld"
Of course, the first feeling I SHOULD have gotten was mere happiness. Um, hello? This is the biggest break I've gotten since The Holy Grail told me that he will enter me on a swimming competition. But like that swimming emulation, the first feeling I perceived was false pretense.
And GAH. It was really true after all. I really did pass the preliminary screening. And just like any other thing unrelated to math, I didn't take the test seriously. So you can just imagine my surprise when I found out the biggie news. Exaggeratively, I just gaped at a corner with my mouth slightly open. You can tell that I was, therefore, surprised.
The next day, I felt quasi-excited about me passing the school newspaper. But who knew that THAT happiness is just...for a short moment? Maybe I did, but I'm probably just so happy that I didn't let it out.
Yesterday was our college fair. I didn't know that yesterday was ALSO the day of the second screening. And, after my busmate(who's a member of the Pauliworld) had asked.."Ate, bakit di po kayo umattend sa second screening?", I felt that inner sadness somewhere in my flesh had swallowed my smile. I knew that in that very second, I failed to live up that chance of getting a very big break in my high school life.
So yeah, you can say that I'm the most stupid, idiotic, imbecilic, or whatever stupid adjective you can describe me, right now. I mean, how can I let a very big chance pass like that? It's probably understandable if it was all my pride's fault. But noooo. It was because my plain stupidity.
Goodbye Pauliworld. I never did enjoy the fame of passing your test anyway.
-----------------------------
I thought that school days are sucky enough to be called "Modern Day Dementors", but wait till you go through a college fair. It literally and metaphorically sucked the happiness from our bodies.
At first, I was excited about it. I mean, hello freebies! Brochures! Posters! The thought of carrying those things labeled with certain names of colleges/universities is very infatuating.
Going through to almost 30 colleges/universities with only thirty minutes of break(make that a lunch break) in between the morning and afternoon is probably the closest thing to hell. No, really. It was a wonder though, because all I did the whole day was to listen at the speakers of the varying schools, fill out information sheets, and stare at their brochures. Of all those institutions who came, the only one who caught my non-collegiate mind was Mapua. And that's it.
Mapua was very impressive. 98.99% of its graduates pass the board examinations for engineering. I was more than enthused. They may not be good in exercising the English language, but God. Look at that big percentile. I could be one of them in the near future. Or maybe, if I don't screw things up.
So, what? Goodbye to UP? I don't know. But that school is for quasi-smart asses. I think I wouldn't pass it for the world anyway. Or for ANY, for that matter.
-----------------------------
Very abominable. No. Terribly, at the most.
Thursday was a semi-hell day. Homeworks are still piled up in our bags, and everyone is being taunted by the urgency of the upcoming UPCAT, which unluckily would be on the fourth of August. But, I don't know. It was just a normal day for me, amidst that truckload of work I have to do at home. Way to go, CL scrapbook and Physics lab paper.
And then..
I texted Bianca, my seatmate, a mistake I was able to come across while analyzing the Bifocals experiment. I told her that the distance of the object should be 37cm, not 30. And so, she texted back, thanking me. But her message contained that ONE thing I never saw coming.
She said I passed Pauliworld. No, wait. She said, 'Congrats nga pala! Pumasa ka sa Pauliworld"
Of course, the first feeling I SHOULD have gotten was mere happiness. Um, hello? This is the biggest break I've gotten since The Holy Grail told me that he will enter me on a swimming competition. But like that swimming emulation, the first feeling I perceived was false pretense.
And GAH. It was really true after all. I really did pass the preliminary screening. And just like any other thing unrelated to math, I didn't take the test seriously. So you can just imagine my surprise when I found out the biggie news. Exaggeratively, I just gaped at a corner with my mouth slightly open. You can tell that I was, therefore, surprised.
The next day, I felt quasi-excited about me passing the school newspaper. But who knew that THAT happiness is just...for a short moment? Maybe I did, but I'm probably just so happy that I didn't let it out.
Yesterday was our college fair. I didn't know that yesterday was ALSO the day of the second screening. And, after my busmate(who's a member of the Pauliworld) had asked.."Ate, bakit di po kayo umattend sa second screening?", I felt that inner sadness somewhere in my flesh had swallowed my smile. I knew that in that very second, I failed to live up that chance of getting a very big break in my high school life.
So yeah, you can say that I'm the most stupid, idiotic, imbecilic, or whatever stupid adjective you can describe me, right now. I mean, how can I let a very big chance pass like that? It's probably understandable if it was all my pride's fault. But noooo. It was because my plain stupidity.
Goodbye Pauliworld. I never did enjoy the fame of passing your test anyway.
-----------------------------
I thought that school days are sucky enough to be called "Modern Day Dementors", but wait till you go through a college fair. It literally and metaphorically sucked the happiness from our bodies.
At first, I was excited about it. I mean, hello freebies! Brochures! Posters! The thought of carrying those things labeled with certain names of colleges/universities is very infatuating.
Going through to almost 30 colleges/universities with only thirty minutes of break(make that a lunch break) in between the morning and afternoon is probably the closest thing to hell. No, really. It was a wonder though, because all I did the whole day was to listen at the speakers of the varying schools, fill out information sheets, and stare at their brochures. Of all those institutions who came, the only one who caught my non-collegiate mind was Mapua. And that's it.
Mapua was very impressive. 98.99% of its graduates pass the board examinations for engineering. I was more than enthused. They may not be good in exercising the English language, but God. Look at that big percentile. I could be one of them in the near future. Or maybe, if I don't screw things up.
So, what? Goodbye to UP? I don't know. But that school is for quasi-smart asses. I think I wouldn't pass it for the world anyway. Or for ANY, for that matter.
-----------------------------
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Pucker up
Grandma and Grandpa did their same old thing again every Sunday. As usual, they ate with us downstairs, and brought with them godsend foods. If I hadn't slipped the time and venue of my UPCAT, then they would have just talked to my mom about Achilles, my baby brother that is still in my mother's womb. Why did I even bother to tell my UPCAT information? Boy, I sure am one chatterbox.
They scolded me after telling them my first choices for courses for those schools that I've entered into.
"Bakit ka mag-eengineering, anak? Bakit di ka na lang mag-accounting, o psychology? O mass communications man lang? Magaling ka naman makipag-usap sa mga tao eh! Anak naman!"
Imagine your grandmother shouting that to your face for a hefty 10 minutes. Worst case scenario: repeat that line from the moment you wake up, and try to stop it from repeating. Trust me, it wouldn't work. It's much worse than a broken record, as I see it.
I SERIOUSLY don't get it why they want me to take up girly-girl courses. Am I someone whom you guys would imagine that would be in an office wearing office clothes? Am I EVEN someone who likes talking about money, and chit-chat about producers and resources all over again in a conference room with my big-rollah laptop by which it is connected to a projector that is presenting a powerpoint presentation made by my professional expertise I was able to garner through my college education? GAH. Typing that was the most tiring thing I've done for the last three hours. What more would it be if I WANTED to be like that? No way, corporate world.
And yeah, of course they got mad at me for choosing a course that defines masculinity in its very sense. They probably can't accept the fact that their first granddaughter is actually a boy at heart, and who will refuse to wear office uniforms for the rest of her god-forbidden life.
By which, this is becoming really bad.
----------------------------
WHAT I DID TODAY:
1. I slept for only 3 hours, because I forced myself to finish the 7th and last installment of the HP series. Don't ask me if I was able to finish it. I think I just flipped the pages one by one, at the most.
2. I forgot my weekly budget thingy for Economics, which is ultimately bad, because I think Ms. Penyaflor is getting pissed off at me already. For the second time, I think. The first one was when I forgot to clean up our recycled papers box.
Ms. P: "Sino EFC chair nyo? *picking up a fork(Don't even ask me how the utensil got itself into a box for recycled papers)*
EFC members: "Si Lorainne po!"
Ms. P: "Lorainne bakit di naka-ayos tong box nyo?"
Me: "Miss di ko po alam."
Ms. P: "Ikaw ipapasok ko dito pag di mo to inayos."
And you can probably predict what I did right after Economics class. Well, good thing it was our last period for the day. I emptied the contents of the box right away and ugh, I felt sooo disintegrated after doing so.
3. This day quasi-revolved around a classmate, whom we think is beyond overconfidence. She's really really pissing me off, at the very least.
4. My elective sucks. No, really. It does. I don't even get it why I even considered taking up a language which I think will have the most few impact on my life.
5. I was sober for the rest of the day. Because of.
For the record, school is driving me sane. Not insane, but sane. But even if it is doing such, I'm still bored with school. Don't get me wrong, but it's not because I think that all the subjects are helluva easy for me; it's because I need something new to do at school. I'm tired of reading El Filibusterismo, solving for quadratic functions using God-knows-how-many ways, sleeping through a decade of rosary, and swimming during GIFT time(which is very absurd, because I've only done this once yet).
We should start a rebellion, or something like Luther's Reformation or just simply anything that would make things MOOOREE than interesting.
Because everything just seems to be bland.
Even me.
They scolded me after telling them my first choices for courses for those schools that I've entered into.
"Bakit ka mag-eengineering, anak? Bakit di ka na lang mag-accounting, o psychology? O mass communications man lang? Magaling ka naman makipag-usap sa mga tao eh! Anak naman!"
Imagine your grandmother shouting that to your face for a hefty 10 minutes. Worst case scenario: repeat that line from the moment you wake up, and try to stop it from repeating. Trust me, it wouldn't work. It's much worse than a broken record, as I see it.
I SERIOUSLY don't get it why they want me to take up girly-girl courses. Am I someone whom you guys would imagine that would be in an office wearing office clothes? Am I EVEN someone who likes talking about money, and chit-chat about producers and resources all over again in a conference room with my big-rollah laptop by which it is connected to a projector that is presenting a powerpoint presentation made by my professional expertise I was able to garner through my college education? GAH. Typing that was the most tiring thing I've done for the last three hours. What more would it be if I WANTED to be like that? No way, corporate world.
And yeah, of course they got mad at me for choosing a course that defines masculinity in its very sense. They probably can't accept the fact that their first granddaughter is actually a boy at heart, and who will refuse to wear office uniforms for the rest of her god-forbidden life.
By which, this is becoming really bad.
----------------------------
WHAT I DID TODAY:
1. I slept for only 3 hours, because I forced myself to finish the 7th and last installment of the HP series. Don't ask me if I was able to finish it. I think I just flipped the pages one by one, at the most.
2. I forgot my weekly budget thingy for Economics, which is ultimately bad, because I think Ms. Penyaflor is getting pissed off at me already. For the second time, I think. The first one was when I forgot to clean up our recycled papers box.
Ms. P: "Sino EFC chair nyo? *picking up a fork(Don't even ask me how the utensil got itself into a box for recycled papers)*
EFC members: "Si Lorainne po!"
Ms. P: "Lorainne bakit di naka-ayos tong box nyo?"
Me: "Miss di ko po alam."
Ms. P: "Ikaw ipapasok ko dito pag di mo to inayos."
And you can probably predict what I did right after Economics class. Well, good thing it was our last period for the day. I emptied the contents of the box right away and ugh, I felt sooo disintegrated after doing so.
3. This day quasi-revolved around a classmate, whom we think is beyond overconfidence. She's really really pissing me off, at the very least.
4. My elective sucks. No, really. It does. I don't even get it why I even considered taking up a language which I think will have the most few impact on my life.
5. I was sober for the rest of the day. Because of.
For the record, school is driving me sane. Not insane, but sane. But even if it is doing such, I'm still bored with school. Don't get me wrong, but it's not because I think that all the subjects are helluva easy for me; it's because I need something new to do at school. I'm tired of reading El Filibusterismo, solving for quadratic functions using God-knows-how-many ways, sleeping through a decade of rosary, and swimming during GIFT time(which is very absurd, because I've only done this once yet).
We should start a rebellion, or something like Luther's Reformation or just simply anything that would make things MOOOREE than interesting.
Because everything just seems to be bland.
Even me.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Holding On By Letting Go
Ironic, isn't it?
This one's from an All-American Rejects song, and it's pretty bothering. Because I can relate to it. Because it's absolutely applicable to what I'm feeling right now. Absolutely. Seriously. Completely. Lovely.
'Straightjacket Feeling', the song which I'm evidently talking about, opened my eyes about the life I have to live. About the other life, which I actually have to take seriously. The life God gave me to enjoy, and to not let it sink in burdensome whatnots.
I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STONE-HEARTED ABOUT TOPICS LIKE THIS, but it's been a long time since I've written something about what I REALLY feel, not about what I think. Thinking and feeling are two things that are completely different.
I knew that I'm really over with him the moment I reflected upon the song, and try to think about the treasured memories that we shared while we were enjoying our summer love. For the first time ever, I didn't think of those moments as something smittening; the type that would really really make those butterflies fly in my big stomach.
Those memories are really priceless, I know. But the moment they darted away, I got a better view of things. Ergo, HE made me realize that I don't need him, or a man, for that matter, in my life. I can actually live with Philia alone.
Yesterday was hell
But Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you would be
That face is tearing holes in me again
I am, after all, an introvert. Why would I need someone who'll just hurt me? In fact, why would I need ANYBODY /SOMEONE aside from my guiding force, which are my friends? I'm still young, and still fat and big. When college time comes, my fat would surely shed off. I'll be so beautiful that they will change the meaning of beautiful in the dictionary to 'see LORAINNE'. Ha. Talk about pride. I wish I didn't have lots of it, like thyroxine.
This will be the last time I'll talk about him or whatsoever. No, really. I've had enough, and I know blog-hoppers hate it when the blog they're reading about is as hardcore as EMO. I am one myself.
-----------------------------
This one's from an All-American Rejects song, and it's pretty bothering. Because I can relate to it. Because it's absolutely applicable to what I'm feeling right now. Absolutely. Seriously. Completely. Lovely.
'Straightjacket Feeling', the song which I'm evidently talking about, opened my eyes about the life I have to live. About the other life, which I actually have to take seriously. The life God gave me to enjoy, and to not let it sink in burdensome whatnots.
I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STONE-HEARTED ABOUT TOPICS LIKE THIS, but it's been a long time since I've written something about what I REALLY feel, not about what I think. Thinking and feeling are two things that are completely different.
I knew that I'm really over with him the moment I reflected upon the song, and try to think about the treasured memories that we shared while we were enjoying our summer love. For the first time ever, I didn't think of those moments as something smittening; the type that would really really make those butterflies fly in my big stomach.
Those memories are really priceless, I know. But the moment they darted away, I got a better view of things. Ergo, HE made me realize that I don't need him, or a man, for that matter, in my life. I can actually live with Philia alone.
Yesterday was hell
But Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you would be
That face is tearing holes in me again
I am, after all, an introvert. Why would I need someone who'll just hurt me? In fact, why would I need ANYBODY /SOMEONE aside from my guiding force, which are my friends? I'm still young, and still fat and big. When college time comes, my fat would surely shed off. I'll be so beautiful that they will change the meaning of beautiful in the dictionary to 'see LORAINNE'. Ha. Talk about pride. I wish I didn't have lots of it, like thyroxine.
This will be the last time I'll talk about him or whatsoever. No, really. I've had enough, and I know blog-hoppers hate it when the blog they're reading about is as hardcore as EMO. I am one myself.
-----------------------------
I was reading this very good and inspiring news about Roy Hibbert choosing Georgetown over a million-dollar(or so I think it is) basketball contract a while ago. It really made me think twice for basketball players in giving them bad-ass judgmentals.
If I was in his place, I would also choose Georgetown over what seems to be a lottery win. Heck, I would give up EVERYTHING for a fine education, wherein I can be proud that I sacrificed a lot of things just to make my brain fat. Now that my parents would like.
The point is, I'm still not ready for college. And HA it seems very laughable right now because what I was talking about a while ago is not relevant in any other way possible from my dilemma right now.
Which is weird, because I don't know why I'm posting 2 days in a row when I have a periscope and a lab report due after the Periodical Exams and UPCAT, which is averagely 14 days from now. I'm tensing myself. I'm finding it very bad.
---------------------
Have you guys ever thought about something that makes you stand out? Well, I always would. I know ipso facto that my obesity and pubic hairs in my head is physically making extraordinary. And yeah, that's bad answer, I know.
[As of this post, Fr. Bossi had been released. THANK GOD]
Hmm, but what about mentally? Or socially? Or emotionally? Or any other profused adverbs in the dictionary? And this is the part where I would realize that I'm purely average. Nothing is making my perspectives stand out. I guess cynicism died a week ago.
I'm very general.
But when you think about it, what benefits does an extraordinary person gets anyway? Aren't they treated the same way as we average/common people are?
It's very mussy.
I can't believe I'm thinking about a very bashful and selfish topic AGAIN.
-----------------------
I got that extra five points in our quiz for Advanced Algebra. After seeing Ms. Sumo's answer notes, I told Patti that my answer was, indeed, correct. It was funny and amazing and boastful at the same time. In fact, after hearing what I said to Patti, Jacque said something that actually boggled my mind for the whole afternoon. It is, until now.
What I Think Jacque said:
"Lorainne, anu ba yan! Nanonood ka pa ba ng TV? Wala ka na nga atang social life eh!"
And GAH. I hate it when people are right about things. I mean, she's right! If ever I would turn the television on, I'll just watch a news program from a local channel, then turn it off to do my schoolworks.
For the social life part, I dunno. It only exists when I'm in school. I don't have neighborhood friends. Oh wait. I actually do have friends within my vicinity, but they live too far, the kind that you have to ride a tricycle or something.
Do I need to R-E-L-A-X? I guess not. Now's not the right time.
But, what time is?
If I was in his place, I would also choose Georgetown over what seems to be a lottery win. Heck, I would give up EVERYTHING for a fine education, wherein I can be proud that I sacrificed a lot of things just to make my brain fat. Now that my parents would like.
The point is, I'm still not ready for college. And HA it seems very laughable right now because what I was talking about a while ago is not relevant in any other way possible from my dilemma right now.
Which is weird, because I don't know why I'm posting 2 days in a row when I have a periscope and a lab report due after the Periodical Exams and UPCAT, which is averagely 14 days from now. I'm tensing myself. I'm finding it very bad.
---------------------
Have you guys ever thought about something that makes you stand out? Well, I always would. I know ipso facto that my obesity and pubic hairs in my head is physically making extraordinary. And yeah, that's bad answer, I know.
[As of this post, Fr. Bossi had been released. THANK GOD]
Hmm, but what about mentally? Or socially? Or emotionally? Or any other profused adverbs in the dictionary? And this is the part where I would realize that I'm purely average. Nothing is making my perspectives stand out. I guess cynicism died a week ago.
I'm very general.
But when you think about it, what benefits does an extraordinary person gets anyway? Aren't they treated the same way as we average/common people are?
It's very mussy.
I can't believe I'm thinking about a very bashful and selfish topic AGAIN.
-----------------------
I got that extra five points in our quiz for Advanced Algebra. After seeing Ms. Sumo's answer notes, I told Patti that my answer was, indeed, correct. It was funny and amazing and boastful at the same time. In fact, after hearing what I said to Patti, Jacque said something that actually boggled my mind for the whole afternoon. It is, until now.
What I Think Jacque said:
"Lorainne, anu ba yan! Nanonood ka pa ba ng TV? Wala ka na nga atang social life eh!"
And GAH. I hate it when people are right about things. I mean, she's right! If ever I would turn the television on, I'll just watch a news program from a local channel, then turn it off to do my schoolworks.
For the social life part, I dunno. It only exists when I'm in school. I don't have neighborhood friends. Oh wait. I actually do have friends within my vicinity, but they live too far, the kind that you have to ride a tricycle or something.
Do I need to R-E-L-A-X? I guess not. Now's not the right time.
But, what time is?
Friday, July 20, 2007
Vindicated
And no, I'm not talking about that merely old-school song of Dashboard Confessional. I am referring to the adjective kind.
I'm feeling very vindicated, for reasons horrifyingly unknown to myself. Have I done something wrong? Oh waait. Am I doing SOMETHING wrong? Nonetheless, this feeling has to go away as soon as possible. It's making me all tensed up and stuff, which has become very uncomfortable over that past 72 hours.
--------------------
My eyes are starting to look like REAL vaginas. No, seriously. They are. I don't know why, or what the hell happened. But all I remembered is that I slept late ONLY last Tuesday night because of the video I have to make for our English Olympian presentation which THANK GOD had ended last Friday.
Mom thought I cried over a boy last night. And I perceptively asked myself, 'Lorainne, who are you kidding? Just tell your mom that you did cry over a boy, so she'll stop complaining about your very very sore eyes.' I didn't follow what my mind was bugging me. Instead, I just scratched my eyes more, because this is actually my way of tickling myself. Weird huh? Wait till you hear about that green joke about why women scratch their eyes the moment they take themselves off from the sack.
But again, whatever.
-------------------------------
College.
Woah. What a word. What a biggie word. WHAT IS IT anyway?
As Reference.com would define it, The word college comes from Latin collegium, 'association, partnership,' from collega, 'partner in office.' The word university is from Latin universitas, 'the whole,' from universus, 'combined into one.' The difference between a college and a university is that a college offers degrees in one or a few specific areas, while a university is a collection of colleges.
As I would say it, college is HELL. College is GRUESOME. College is striking near as my every single senior day ends with me thinking constantly about it, which I think is very very bad because I seriously can't think of anything else but this.
The question still remains.
Will I pass a single college I've applied into?
You know bloggy, I have this weird feeling in my stomach that I'll end up ridiculously nowhere, by the look of my past high school grades. I am reviewing, really. But that isn't really an assurance that I would get into at least one.
UP-Diliman will SURELY do.
Ateneo is.... I dunno. Okay, I guess.
DLSU is one hell of a school. I seriously want to go there.
UST is the ultimate wildcard.
MAPUA is laughable. No, seriously. It is. But I want to go there amidst its cynicism look.
By the way, I'm halfway through the completion of my ACET form. I'm only missing one now, which is the secondary grades form. Mom doesn't want me to apply for DLSU, because she thinks that going there is THE REAL HASSLE. And, GAH. I don't know how the hell am I going to get one.
----------------------
I finally got hold of my UPCAT permit lately.
My schedule's on the 4th of August, 6:30AM, at the NCPAG building.
I still don't know anyone which will be taking the test at that secluded venue I was designated in.
But hey, I have a VERY VERY high chance of being cameo-ed in TvPatrol.
I'm feeling very vindicated, for reasons horrifyingly unknown to myself. Have I done something wrong? Oh waait. Am I doing SOMETHING wrong? Nonetheless, this feeling has to go away as soon as possible. It's making me all tensed up and stuff, which has become very uncomfortable over that past 72 hours.
--------------------
My eyes are starting to look like REAL vaginas. No, seriously. They are. I don't know why, or what the hell happened. But all I remembered is that I slept late ONLY last Tuesday night because of the video I have to make for our English Olympian presentation which THANK GOD had ended last Friday.
Mom thought I cried over a boy last night. And I perceptively asked myself, 'Lorainne, who are you kidding? Just tell your mom that you did cry over a boy, so she'll stop complaining about your very very sore eyes.' I didn't follow what my mind was bugging me. Instead, I just scratched my eyes more, because this is actually my way of tickling myself. Weird huh? Wait till you hear about that green joke about why women scratch their eyes the moment they take themselves off from the sack.
But again, whatever.
-------------------------------
College.
Woah. What a word. What a biggie word. WHAT IS IT anyway?
As Reference.com would define it, The word college comes from Latin collegium, 'association, partnership,' from collega, 'partner in office.' The word university is from Latin universitas, 'the whole,' from universus, 'combined into one.' The difference between a college and a university is that a college offers degrees in one or a few specific areas, while a university is a collection of colleges.
As I would say it, college is HELL. College is GRUESOME. College is striking near as my every single senior day ends with me thinking constantly about it, which I think is very very bad because I seriously can't think of anything else but this.
The question still remains.
Will I pass a single college I've applied into?
You know bloggy, I have this weird feeling in my stomach that I'll end up ridiculously nowhere, by the look of my past high school grades. I am reviewing, really. But that isn't really an assurance that I would get into at least one.
UP-Diliman will SURELY do.
Ateneo is.... I dunno. Okay, I guess.
DLSU is one hell of a school. I seriously want to go there.
UST is the ultimate wildcard.
MAPUA is laughable. No, seriously. It is. But I want to go there amidst its cynicism look.
By the way, I'm halfway through the completion of my ACET form. I'm only missing one now, which is the secondary grades form. Mom doesn't want me to apply for DLSU, because she thinks that going there is THE REAL HASSLE. And, GAH. I don't know how the hell am I going to get one.
----------------------
I finally got hold of my UPCAT permit lately.
My schedule's on the 4th of August, 6:30AM, at the NCPAG building.
I still don't know anyone which will be taking the test at that secluded venue I was designated in.
But hey, I have a VERY VERY high chance of being cameo-ed in TvPatrol.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Egotrip, where art thou?
Hilarious.
Weird.
Life-threatening.
If you would exaggerate my ball of emotions I was able to tinker out my brain while I relentlessly went in for the Pauliworld screening lately, you can easily come up with the aforementioned words.
Um. Was I able to say that right? Let me repeat; I. Went. To. The. Screening. For. Pauliworld. Staffers. Or. Whatever.
I don't know what caused me to. Maybe it's because of Juela's and Jacque's very strong ego towards their more or less goal to be Filipino(conclusively in more ways than one, evidently) contributors for the 2nd Best Campus Journalism Newspaper in the Philippines. Or maybe I remembered all of a sudden my long-forgotten dream of being a writer. Either way, I think I'm not going to make it anyway. I screwed up my news and feature article, for anyone who cares.
Gah. I looked stupid. Before the screening, I dressed into my swimsuit, underneath my PE uniform, flip-flops below. See, I was supposed to go to my GIFT class right after Physics, but as I registered my name on the 86th slot, there really is no way I'm going to stop. I already molded up enough guts for my foot to take me there, so why give up? Boy, being optimistic sure is one hell of pure nothing.
The test was uhh.. pretty much okay. Sir Decano and his pink shirt made it even more interesting. Heh. You betcha. Research teachers are truly the best teachers in the whole wide faculty room.
I don't know, but if ever I pass the whole journalistic things, I would pass it out. Not because of my pride, but I really do think I don't write anywhere near good. Give me a topic about politics, and I bet it would take me at least a day to write a lead..just a LEAD..about it.
The only think I like talking about is my life. And I'm actually doing good at it.
[EDIT]: This part of the post was a day late. It was supposed to be posted yesterday, but the internet connection failed to impress me.
----------------------------------
TOP THREE SIGNS THAT YOU'RE OUT OF ENDORPHIN.
1. I was drinking pineapple juice a while ago. After I drank every lost drop of it, I poured apple juice. I then wondered if my new drink will be called pine2apple because..well..you know. Pineapple + apple is like XY + Y.
Diagnosis: Algebra overdose
2. My entrance for our Olympian Presentation went out sooo badly it's as if I was a wrestler or something. Ipso facto, I was Zeus.
Diagnosis: Coheed and Cambria's Welcome Home.
3. This is the greatest mistake I've made this day.. I had mistaken My Chemical Romance as The Red Jumpssuit Apparatus. On the same side of the coin, I even thought that they were Rivermaya.
Diagnosis: Music Migraine.
As of now, Janrae is just a name that I would forsake for the rest of my life. It is a name of a boy; those heartless kinds that I myself had fallen deeply in love. I am wishing that we'll never communicate in any other way ever again.
The law of science is not applicable to life and love in general. Something doesn't have to be replaced in order for that thing to go away. In love, you necessarily fall out of love for someone NOT because you fell in love with someone else. Instead, the happiness and love chemical your brain used up while you're in love has completely emptied itself. That chemical is called Endorphin, just so you biology-haters like me would like to know.
And it would take a LOOOONG time for my body to produce a hefty amount of Endorphin again.
So, as it is scientifically-proven, I won't be able to give out erotic love towards anybody for now. It's all Philia, I think. I'm still learning to enjoy my high school friendship with these wonderful people who's helping me produce Endorphin again.
----------------------------------------
So, here it goes.
THIS IS OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL, so as to say.
My final list of preferred choices for the colleges I have applied into are as follows:
ADMU
-BS Applied Physics with Applied Computer Systems
-BS Computer Engineering
-AB European Studies
-BS Electronics and Communications Engineering
DLSU
-BS Computer Engineering
-BS Computer Science with specialization in Computer Systems Engineering
-BS Civil Engineering
-BS Electronics and Communications Engineering
UP-Diliman
-BS Computer Engineering
-BS Psychology (as premed)
UST
-BS Electronics and Communications Engineering
-BS Applied Physics Major in Instrumentation
-BS Civil Engineering
-BS Electrical Engineering
MAPUA
-BS Computer Engineering
-BS Electronics and Communications Engineering
I hope I get into DLSU-Manila. OH PLEASE LORD.
Weird.
Life-threatening.
If you would exaggerate my ball of emotions I was able to tinker out my brain while I relentlessly went in for the Pauliworld screening lately, you can easily come up with the aforementioned words.
Um. Was I able to say that right? Let me repeat; I. Went. To. The. Screening. For. Pauliworld. Staffers. Or. Whatever.
I don't know what caused me to. Maybe it's because of Juela's and Jacque's very strong ego towards their more or less goal to be Filipino(conclusively in more ways than one, evidently) contributors for the 2nd Best Campus Journalism Newspaper in the Philippines. Or maybe I remembered all of a sudden my long-forgotten dream of being a writer. Either way, I think I'm not going to make it anyway. I screwed up my news and feature article, for anyone who cares.
Gah. I looked stupid. Before the screening, I dressed into my swimsuit, underneath my PE uniform, flip-flops below. See, I was supposed to go to my GIFT class right after Physics, but as I registered my name on the 86th slot, there really is no way I'm going to stop. I already molded up enough guts for my foot to take me there, so why give up? Boy, being optimistic sure is one hell of pure nothing.
The test was uhh.. pretty much okay. Sir Decano and his pink shirt made it even more interesting. Heh. You betcha. Research teachers are truly the best teachers in the whole wide faculty room.
I don't know, but if ever I pass the whole journalistic things, I would pass it out. Not because of my pride, but I really do think I don't write anywhere near good. Give me a topic about politics, and I bet it would take me at least a day to write a lead..just a LEAD..about it.
The only think I like talking about is my life. And I'm actually doing good at it.
[EDIT]: This part of the post was a day late. It was supposed to be posted yesterday, but the internet connection failed to impress me.
----------------------------------
TOP THREE SIGNS THAT YOU'RE OUT OF ENDORPHIN.
1. I was drinking pineapple juice a while ago. After I drank every lost drop of it, I poured apple juice. I then wondered if my new drink will be called pine2apple because..well..you know. Pineapple + apple is like XY + Y.
Diagnosis: Algebra overdose
2. My entrance for our Olympian Presentation went out sooo badly it's as if I was a wrestler or something. Ipso facto, I was Zeus.
Diagnosis: Coheed and Cambria's Welcome Home.
3. This is the greatest mistake I've made this day.. I had mistaken My Chemical Romance as The Red Jumpssuit Apparatus. On the same side of the coin, I even thought that they were Rivermaya.
Diagnosis: Music Migraine.
As of now, Janrae is just a name that I would forsake for the rest of my life. It is a name of a boy; those heartless kinds that I myself had fallen deeply in love. I am wishing that we'll never communicate in any other way ever again.
The law of science is not applicable to life and love in general. Something doesn't have to be replaced in order for that thing to go away. In love, you necessarily fall out of love for someone NOT because you fell in love with someone else. Instead, the happiness and love chemical your brain used up while you're in love has completely emptied itself. That chemical is called Endorphin, just so you biology-haters like me would like to know.
And it would take a LOOOONG time for my body to produce a hefty amount of Endorphin again.
So, as it is scientifically-proven, I won't be able to give out erotic love towards anybody for now. It's all Philia, I think. I'm still learning to enjoy my high school friendship with these wonderful people who's helping me produce Endorphin again.
----------------------------------------
So, here it goes.
THIS IS OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL, so as to say.
My final list of preferred choices for the colleges I have applied into are as follows:
ADMU
-BS Applied Physics with Applied Computer Systems
-BS Computer Engineering
-AB European Studies
-BS Electronics and Communications Engineering
DLSU
-BS Computer Engineering
-BS Computer Science with specialization in Computer Systems Engineering
-BS Civil Engineering
-BS Electronics and Communications Engineering
UP-Diliman
-BS Computer Engineering
-BS Psychology (as premed)
UST
-BS Electronics and Communications Engineering
-BS Applied Physics Major in Instrumentation
-BS Civil Engineering
-BS Electrical Engineering
MAPUA
-BS Computer Engineering
-BS Electronics and Communications Engineering
I hope I get into DLSU-Manila. OH PLEASE LORD.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
No It's Not This Hard
As I opened Microsoft Word 2003 here in our newly-repaired PC last night, my mind suddenly went blank. You know, the same old blank you get when you want to do something, but you don't know what it is.
For Christ's sake I'm trying to make an essay here! Stop playing with my mind, God. I don't need that writer's block right now. Oh no siree.
You've read that right, imaginary friends. I'm. Trying. To. Make. A. F**cking. Essay. It's for my ACET form. And the question goes: Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?
I wish there is one. But I can't think of anything, really.
--------------------------
TOP TEN THINGS I URGENTLY HAVE TO ACCOMPLISH BEFORE MONDAY:
1. Tragedy Worksheet
2. Olympian Creative Output
3. Study for Mandarin class. 10-point quiz for tomorrow. Yi-fucking-pee.
4. Accomplish ACET form as soon as possible
5. Get DLSU form
6. Get UA&P form
7. Study for Economics class
8. Study for Math class
9. Study for Filipino class
10. STUDY.
God. Why does it have to be THIS hard anyway? I don't know how to balance between school and this 'confusing' relationship that seems to be going nowhere more than the trash bin with Janrae. No. I think the problem is, I'm putting to much pressure on myself because I'm basing everything from what is theoretically true.
Like the hypothetically-correct sentence: First love never dies.
WHY, GOD? WHYYYY?
-------------------------
Self-cultivation is one of those so-called 'secrets to success' things. It may not be as evident as you may think it is, but wouldn't it be very hypocritical if business giants like Henry Sy or Jaime Augusto Zobel de Ayala were able to build those humongous malls without even developing themselves as persons? I wouldn't believe the second I'll hear it, either. In reality, we have to deeply exert some effort to the betterment of ourselves. Wouldn't if be nice if we....
And, that's it. That's my lead for my ACET essay. It sucks, I know. The latter part is not even complete, for God's sake.
For Christ's sake I'm trying to make an essay here! Stop playing with my mind, God. I don't need that writer's block right now. Oh no siree.
You've read that right, imaginary friends. I'm. Trying. To. Make. A. F**cking. Essay. It's for my ACET form. And the question goes: Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?
I wish there is one. But I can't think of anything, really.
--------------------------
TOP TEN THINGS I URGENTLY HAVE TO ACCOMPLISH BEFORE MONDAY:
1. Tragedy Worksheet
2. Olympian Creative Output
3. Study for Mandarin class. 10-point quiz for tomorrow. Yi-fucking-pee.
4. Accomplish ACET form as soon as possible
5. Get DLSU form
6. Get UA&P form
7. Study for Economics class
8. Study for Math class
9. Study for Filipino class
10. STUDY.
God. Why does it have to be THIS hard anyway? I don't know how to balance between school and this 'confusing' relationship that seems to be going nowhere more than the trash bin with Janrae. No. I think the problem is, I'm putting to much pressure on myself because I'm basing everything from what is theoretically true.
Like the hypothetically-correct sentence: First love never dies.
WHY, GOD? WHYYYY?
-------------------------
Self-cultivation is one of those so-called 'secrets to success' things. It may not be as evident as you may think it is, but wouldn't it be very hypocritical if business giants like Henry Sy or Jaime Augusto Zobel de Ayala were able to build those humongous malls without even developing themselves as persons? I wouldn't believe the second I'll hear it, either. In reality, we have to deeply exert some effort to the betterment of ourselves. Wouldn't if be nice if we....
And, that's it. That's my lead for my ACET essay. It sucks, I know. The latter part is not even complete, for God's sake.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Still Too Stupid To Do So
Yes, I'm still too damn pretentious and stupid enough to actually go to THAT level. What the hell am I blabbing about? Philippine Daily Inquirer's YoungBlood, of course.
I find it very funny though. You know, writing an article for a smarty-pantsy newspaper publication, and humiliating myself through my words. Ha. My cynicism won't work for the nation though. It just does for me, and for God, I think.
I narrated my whole me-writing-an-article-for-youngblood thing to dad. And well, as expected, the whole plan was a very big prodigy for him. He really wants me to be a writer, but on his dad persona, he wants me to graduate from Ateneo de Manila University with a double degree on BS Applied Physics with Applied Computer Systems. Trust me. He's itching to have an offspring by which he can communicate thoroughly with. Sheesh. I guess talking to the computer or some chat robot is not enough for an IT consultant.
I don't know about my brain, but my heart is screaming to my neurons.."YOU DUMBASS! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN GET THROUGH AN HONORS' COURSE? YOU ALMOST FLUNKED ALGEBRA FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!" It's very much a big wonder why my immune system is still producing antibodies against heart attacks. Heck, it's even a great wonder why I'm still alive amidst the skepticism of one of my internal organs.
I think I'm only doing that for my dad; picking that god-forbid course, I mean. But still.
---------------------
I will stop procrastinating.
GAAH. The verisimilitude is killing me. Or so I think it is.
Ever since I heard what the priest preached in the homily part of the Eucharistic Celebration I just went into last Sunday, I would think twice about procrastinating.
Maybe, just maybe, that's the reason why I crammed for that video production project for History class last year. That's derivatively also the reason why my grades in Geometry is just in THAT line, unexpectedly.
That's probably the reason why I can't get grades decent enough to be considered by anyone to be good, or nice. Or whatever.
Procrastination is my worst habit ever, aside from refusing to wash my hair just because I'm enjoying a very, very, very, disgusting hobby of carving out those snowflakes planted in my scalp and hair follicles. Procrastination is due to my mastery of the easy skill of sluggishness, by which no one should ever try expertizing on. Believe me, this skill is not needed in any other way possible aside from lazy weekend afternoons or summer days.
So folks, don't ever ever EVER try procrastinating in some way possible. Or else you'll end up like this girl unluckily named Lorainne. She refused to be affectionate with a boy she has mutual feelings with, and now the boy is very very disappointed(I wish this one's a Cassandra. But noooo. It's undoubtedly t-r-u-e.).
I seriously can't see the procrastination in that. But I just connected the stuffs just so it'll end up in my current dilemma. As always, duh-uh.
-------------------
Hmm. What now?
Ooh, how about this?
WHAT YOU LIKELY THINK I'M DOING IN SCHOOL:
-She listens to the teachers attentively.
-She respects the teachers. She really does.
-She's very quiet, you know. Being an introvert is just that hard.
-She's probably funny. You know, funny in a dumb way.
-She's this very nice girl, who wears her uniform with dignity and respect to the school.
-She makes it a habit to study when she has extra time, which is really possible because she always has lots of extra time. Instead of socializing, she would just perk her head towards a study module.
WHAT I REALLY AM DOING(and enjoying, at the most) IN SCHOOL:
-Since I'm officially a senior student, I would always spend my spare time during breaks bullying and taunting(Ha. In DEFINITELY more ways than one.)
-I would find myself being very blank-minded on a subject I would find very uninteresting.
-I'm, on a mere contrast from what I've said above, very presumptuous towards people I don't like. But of course, I would try to be friendly at some point or another. Well, you know...(I actually don't, but I'm hoping someone actually will.)
-Ipso facto, I'm not funny. Nor I am in a dumb way.
-The last one, I think, has that possibility of being true. HAR-dee-HAR-HAR. I'm in deep desperation of passing the UPCAT or any other top university's entrance test. I just seriously do.
Well. Now you know my petulant side. Whatever.
---------------
Leadership training tomorrow.
Ohh yeeeaaaa.
---------------
The previous post is a big HYPOCRISY, ladies and gentlemen.
Love is just ain't going anywhere.
Mushy. VERY VERY mushy-licious.
VERY VERY not me.
I find it very funny though. You know, writing an article for a smarty-pantsy newspaper publication, and humiliating myself through my words. Ha. My cynicism won't work for the nation though. It just does for me, and for God, I think.
I narrated my whole me-writing-an-article-for-youngblood thing to dad. And well, as expected, the whole plan was a very big prodigy for him. He really wants me to be a writer, but on his dad persona, he wants me to graduate from Ateneo de Manila University with a double degree on BS Applied Physics with Applied Computer Systems. Trust me. He's itching to have an offspring by which he can communicate thoroughly with. Sheesh. I guess talking to the computer or some chat robot is not enough for an IT consultant.
I don't know about my brain, but my heart is screaming to my neurons.."YOU DUMBASS! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN GET THROUGH AN HONORS' COURSE? YOU ALMOST FLUNKED ALGEBRA FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!" It's very much a big wonder why my immune system is still producing antibodies against heart attacks. Heck, it's even a great wonder why I'm still alive amidst the skepticism of one of my internal organs.
I think I'm only doing that for my dad; picking that god-forbid course, I mean. But still.
---------------------
I will stop procrastinating.
GAAH. The verisimilitude is killing me. Or so I think it is.
Ever since I heard what the priest preached in the homily part of the Eucharistic Celebration I just went into last Sunday, I would think twice about procrastinating.
Maybe, just maybe, that's the reason why I crammed for that video production project for History class last year. That's derivatively also the reason why my grades in Geometry is just in THAT line, unexpectedly.
That's probably the reason why I can't get grades decent enough to be considered by anyone to be good, or nice. Or whatever.
Procrastination is my worst habit ever, aside from refusing to wash my hair just because I'm enjoying a very, very, very, disgusting hobby of carving out those snowflakes planted in my scalp and hair follicles. Procrastination is due to my mastery of the easy skill of sluggishness, by which no one should ever try expertizing on. Believe me, this skill is not needed in any other way possible aside from lazy weekend afternoons or summer days.
So folks, don't ever ever EVER try procrastinating in some way possible. Or else you'll end up like this girl unluckily named Lorainne. She refused to be affectionate with a boy she has mutual feelings with, and now the boy is very very disappointed(I wish this one's a Cassandra. But noooo. It's undoubtedly t-r-u-e.).
I seriously can't see the procrastination in that. But I just connected the stuffs just so it'll end up in my current dilemma. As always, duh-uh.
-------------------
Hmm. What now?
Ooh, how about this?
WHAT YOU LIKELY THINK I'M DOING IN SCHOOL:
-She listens to the teachers attentively.
-She respects the teachers. She really does.
-She's very quiet, you know. Being an introvert is just that hard.
-She's probably funny. You know, funny in a dumb way.
-She's this very nice girl, who wears her uniform with dignity and respect to the school.
-She makes it a habit to study when she has extra time, which is really possible because she always has lots of extra time. Instead of socializing, she would just perk her head towards a study module.
WHAT I REALLY AM DOING(and enjoying, at the most) IN SCHOOL:
-Since I'm officially a senior student, I would always spend my spare time during breaks bullying and taunting(Ha. In DEFINITELY more ways than one.)
-I would find myself being very blank-minded on a subject I would find very uninteresting.
-I'm, on a mere contrast from what I've said above, very presumptuous towards people I don't like. But of course, I would try to be friendly at some point or another. Well, you know...(I actually don't, but I'm hoping someone actually will.)
-Ipso facto, I'm not funny. Nor I am in a dumb way.
-The last one, I think, has that possibility of being true. HAR-dee-HAR-HAR. I'm in deep desperation of passing the UPCAT or any other top university's entrance test. I just seriously do.
Well. Now you know my petulant side. Whatever.
---------------
Leadership training tomorrow.
Ohh yeeeaaaa.
---------------
The previous post is a big HYPOCRISY, ladies and gentlemen.
Love is just ain't going anywhere.
Mushy. VERY VERY mushy-licious.
VERY VERY not me.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
A Mere Kismet
I hate it when those good things that are happening to you at some point would very much disappear all in a while. I hate it more when people would try to comfort you and say that all of it is in your destiny, like it's in God's will or something. Generally speaking, I hate fate per se.
Nelly Furtado's right for once; not actually about the promiscuity of a lady, but the sole question that I'm sure everybody is itching to ask; Why do all good things come to an end anyway? Yeah, I know all things are temporary. But of all the things that have to slip away that fast, why does it have to be the good things? Why can't it be the scary things, or the surprising things? I don't need to be scared. Nor surprised.
Summer love is the most ad hoc thing I've ever experienced. Oh wait. I got it all wrong. LOVE is the most fugitive of them all.
Let me say his name one more time before I end my summer bliss-a-bliss.
J. V.
Goodbye to the one thing that I've tried to hold on to.
And this time, it's for real.
----------------------------
It makes me sit down and ponder why I'm out of thoughts come afternoon and evening. If I would talk about love right now like what I did as a starter of to this blog post, it'll be too sappy. If I would talk about the weather right now, it'll be too bland. If I would talk about the review class I attended to a while ago, it'll be extremely bourgeois.
You can say that I'm barbaric and hypocritic at the same time for saying this but uhh.. guess what. I'm addicted to Coke again. And thank the Lord, I'm talking about the safe Coke.
Oh for the love of God! I lost it. Goddamn that kiddie version of MadTv. What's it called again? Oh yeah. All That? THEY SUCK TO PIECES. I like the old cast of All That, the one with Lori Beth doing that Vital Information sketch, and Kenan and Kel doing that Good Burger part. Oh momma.
I'm out.
Nelly Furtado's right for once; not actually about the promiscuity of a lady, but the sole question that I'm sure everybody is itching to ask; Why do all good things come to an end anyway? Yeah, I know all things are temporary. But of all the things that have to slip away that fast, why does it have to be the good things? Why can't it be the scary things, or the surprising things? I don't need to be scared. Nor surprised.
Summer love is the most ad hoc thing I've ever experienced. Oh wait. I got it all wrong. LOVE is the most fugitive of them all.
Let me say his name one more time before I end my summer bliss-a-bliss.
J. V.
Goodbye to the one thing that I've tried to hold on to.
And this time, it's for real.
----------------------------
It makes me sit down and ponder why I'm out of thoughts come afternoon and evening. If I would talk about love right now like what I did as a starter of to this blog post, it'll be too sappy. If I would talk about the weather right now, it'll be too bland. If I would talk about the review class I attended to a while ago, it'll be extremely bourgeois.
You can say that I'm barbaric and hypocritic at the same time for saying this but uhh.. guess what. I'm addicted to Coke again. And thank the Lord, I'm talking about the safe Coke.
Oh for the love of God! I lost it. Goddamn that kiddie version of MadTv. What's it called again? Oh yeah. All That? THEY SUCK TO PIECES. I like the old cast of All That, the one with Lori Beth doing that Vital Information sketch, and Kenan and Kel doing that Good Burger part. Oh momma.
I'm out.
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