Over

And then suddenly, everything seemed to be over. You know that weird feeling, when a relatively huge event already passed by and you're still as passive as..well..passive? Yeah, that's what I feel. I've had about one graduation luncheon and one graduation dinner already but God knows why graduation itself still doesn't make sense. It's like we just practiced with togas and parents around.

I'm officially gonna be a college student next month. But before that, you can describe me as a cross between a high school student and a college student, which is an immature.

At that faithful night before my graduation, I made a crap for the Youngblood section of the opinion page of Philippine Daily Inquirer, expressing my deep thoughts about this biggie event that's about to happen hours later. It's funny that I should even mention it, because until now, it remains very well unfinished with less than 500 words. And consequently, that alone gives justice as to why I did not submit it to the aforementioned newspaper. Yeah, I know. Here I go again with stupid chances that I ignore a lot, which makes me much more stupid.

Here's the..uhmm..shit.


So it still hasn’t occurred to me that I’ll be graduating from high school in a matter of hours. Flying off to college in a matter of months still seems to make no sense at all. And, as you’ve probably guessed by the aforementioned statements, I’m still hoping that the thought of leaving my female-dominated high school will… oh I don’t know…sink in just in time for later?

It’s kind of unusual for someone who has anticipated her graduation day the minute she entered this exclusive school for girls to not believe that she is, ergo, graduating. Ironic, I know. Oh how I loathed every exorbitantly austere rules they would use against us. Actually, every student hates, well, every rule. That’s probably a rule in itself or something. You won’t be considered a normal high school student if the thought of being minimal in terms of your clothing seems to not bother you at all. Judging by the four years I’ve struggled through, you have to be bothered by the overly-strict rules, or else people around you will think you’re a loser. In a high school setting, a loser is simply the equivalent of the lower class of our country’s society.

Ah, the wonders of the social hierarchy in high school.

Morning seems to be the hardest time of the day for all of us, since we are forced to stand for a couple of minutes just to sing, pray, reflect, and then pray some more. Now I’m not really complaining about praying, because if I do then that would simply defeat the purpose of entering a Catholic educational institution. And I love God, for Pete’s sake. What makes it so damn hard to do is that in the morning, we are still all trying to be (and really trying hard, for that matter) to be awake. It bothers us to know that after cramming for tons of projects they bombarded us the day before, thereafter having to sleep for only 2 hours, they just cannot get their hands off us for one bit.

I hate to exaggerate, but we do pray a lot more than the usual. We are to hear mass and pray the rosary every single school day. Bibles have been the ultimate necessity, but up to now I haven’t met anybody who has read the whole thing self-willingly.

I know it sucked. Hell, I know I suck.

But my high school friends? They don't suck even one bit.

I'll miss you guys. And thank you for making every excruciating day in school very worthwhile, amidst every inhuman thing we have to go through. Thank you for being with me every step of it all. We really are, indeed, signing off.

There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all