Monday, November 29, 2010

READ

Impulsive. Random. Unplanned.

Those are the kind of blog posts I usually make here. Yes, just like teenage pregnancy, I've been making impulsive, random, and unplanned blog posts for INTROVERSION for the past 6 years. Though with this impulsiveness and randomness, I have zoomed my way up from zero into becoming my own hero. I used to suck at this blogging thing, with my superficial posts that revolve around my insignificant life as an introverted teenager. Fuck it, I went through the suicidal phase, had two douchebags for boyfriends, had a crush on my swimming coach's abs and package, hated my best friend for engaging in a taboo relationship, loathed how discriminating the world is for fatties like me. I did more whining and ranting about how fat I am and how the world can suck on its own balls rather than actually doing something about it. I did more sourgraping about how fun it is to do stuff alone rather than socializing and getting to know other types of people. I did more planning rather than pushing everything through.

Now I realize how stupid I have been for six goddamn years. But you know what? I wouldn't even know now how much stupidity I have in my system back then if it weren't for me looking back at these juvenile and normal mistakes. Yes, they make me cringe like fucking Jonas Brothers, but it is really better that way. Better to accept them, because you would really appreciate yourself much more now.

With this, INTROVERSION will be signing off before 2011 hits. No, the archives won't be burned or anything. Everything will stay intact. I guess it's just one of those things I have to change since I am starting to outgrow it. I mean, if I don't do something about it like the way I did to my Harry Potter fanatic days, it's just gonna be a one-liner in my memory vacuum. My blog means so much to me. I know it's just a small space in the information superhighway that I'm betting nobody really knows much about, but it has been witness to every freaking milestone in my life, be it an accomplishment or a mere downfall. It's like having an imaginary friend but less weirder and well, more blatant. I am in love with this blog forever.

So, yeah. By next year, I'll be rebranding this blog to make things more accurate my life-wise. It's up to you if you would like my teenage persona much better than what I am now. All I know is, I'm no introvert no more. I am the fucking VP of the promotions committee of my professional organization. Eat that, bitches!


Saturday, November 13, 2010

Random Update

I've been hitting the gym very frequently ever since mom enrolled me into one again last month. I wish I knew where I'm getting all the weird motivation from so I would stop wondering why amid the fact that God threw me off a jeepney last Wednesday, I managed to limp my way to a normal cardio workout this morning even if I have this swollen right ankle that looks like as if it houses a large amount of whatever liquid. Everybody's making fun of it and unusually, I am too. Insults would more often than not piss the fuck out of me but for reasons I don't want to dwell into, I insult myself with out-of-this-world commentaries too. Not that any of you would need to hear that or anything.

So here's the Oyen routine goes: I do 20-25 minutes of treading, 15 minutes at the ellipticals, and if I am still hyped up I would go for a 15-minute cycling craze, which does occur a lot. I rest for a few minutes then I proceed with my strength training that consists of total abdominal crunches, obliques crunches, chest presses, and chest inclines. For the life of me, I don't know why I am doing this. You know, workout so hard and stuff. I am in no hurry to slim down as I have a.) no boyfriend who's pressuring me to be as hot as Katy Perry, b.) have a good group of friends who appreciate my fats as they come handy during those dull moments when everyone's in dire need of something to laugh at, and c.) every man I seem to date seems to think that my body's right for me and surprisingly, some are even finding me sexy.

The world gets more fucked up as the apocalypse approaches. Shame.

I've been dating a damn lot too since the breakup. I'm not exactly looking for another scumbag to spend useless days with under the influence of what is popularly known as "love", but seriously, I just need people to talk to. New people who doesn't have issues the same as mine because I've spent so much time with those kind already. I'm keeping my old friends, but I'm feeling that weird need to expand my social horizon as I always get this feeling that my circle is limited to my college and high school schoolmates only. Where 's the fun in that?

Nobody would even take that as a wild guess because I'm not even that type of person to begin with. I'm not unequivocally pretty as my extreme obesity is hindering me from being so. Bullshit discrimination. But after dating and getting to know various men plus my deadly daily workouts, I kinda just realized the other day that hey, I am fucking pretty. These men get so aroused by my facial features that they overlook my humongous arms and thighs. And obviously I work the other way around as I blab about nothing but my fat parts. I should kill myself.