Saturday, July 31, 2010

Twisted

I was helping my good friend Charles with his literature assignment last Thursday and it hit me.

I am so freaking metaphorical.

I thought I was just being descriptive with all of the 'rain of sadness' kind of shit, but I thought hard about it while I was jogging yesterday as David Guetta tunes blare out of the cheap earphones of my iPhone. How did I become so metaphorical over the past few months? Neil Gaiman's Jingo did not have a lot of metaphors as it was the last novel I've read, what more than my Strength of Materials textbook which bores me to death with its countless beams and supports? God I hate textbooks. Someone should revise every textbook in my table and inject them all with humor, or drawings of cute little stars and hearts and other girly crap like that.

Maybe I should.

This is the reason why I am staring to loathe jogging. It makes me think so much about the most random of things, and even my stinky pile of problems that I do not want to discuss. I bought cheap earphones so I can divert my attention to how a particular song gets me so pumped up and how I will make running more complicated than, well, running. But this is not the case, much to my dismay. Kinda makes me think of skipping Black Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga for just something as simple as a long beeping sound so my ears can bleed themselves out. That way, I won't be able to hear anything, not even my thoughts.

How morbid.

And emo, at that.

I still remember this certain phrase I've read in Second Helpings, the second installment of the Sloppy Firsts series. My thoughts create my world. Marcus Flutie said this to Jessica Darling and it seriously punched me in the face. If I have good thoughts, then I have a good world. Otherwise, then I have a bad world to live in. The weird part about it is that I neither have good nor bad thoughts; they're always twisted, at some point. Like it's this shaft that's subjected to an infinite angle of twist. Once it is twisted, it goes on and on and on until another soft shaft molds into it and twists for the rest of my life.

But the good thing about it is that the ends of shafts stay the same way as they are, no matter how you twist them in the most crazy-ass way you can think of. Those ends represent my personality.

I stay the same as my thoughts twist infinitely.

My twisted thoughts create my twisted but hella fun world.

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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Who's Enraged Now?

The week I've been dreading for has finally arrived. It's that time of the year that I'm very very VERY irritated at even the smallest of things. It's not PMS, mind you. It's worse than PMS. Kinda gave me the idea (just now) that maybe all those PMS-able days that I don't usually have have been cramped up now in a week, that's why my temper is sky high every freaking second. This happens annually, and quite coincidentally falls on the middle of July. That being said, I still do think I can get stranger than I already am.

And so, I am now resisting the urge to throw my sister's netbook because of its f-ing small keys. I can't get the modem to run in my laptop so I just have to settle with this toy. GOD I HATE NETBOOKS SO MUCH.

Anyways, I pity the people I hang out in school everyday for they suffer the consequences of my extreme mood swings brought about by, oh I don't know, bipolarity, maybe. What I am experiencing now (which I experience yearly) is highly unexplainable; I've researched solutions so I could deal with it while it is a its' peak, but I got nothing. It's very hard for me to control my anger and how it manifests itself to my voice which is already dark enough to begin with, so telling people to simply lower down their voices would easily boil up to "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH" or of any higher degree.

So, I've decided to use this blog as a medium to express my current state, and to further eradicate any catfights for girls, and trash talking for guys. Stop talking shit behind my back or I would all punch you in the face, I swear. (My God, see what I mean?)

- For starters, quit stating or finding the obvious. If what you're looking for is already right in front of you, go and get it, stupid. Don't ask me where the hell is it because I will seriously throw it at your face, together with a bunch of foul words you will wish you've never heard. If you keep on saying something that's been cleared out already (and/or a wrong word that have made its way out of everyone's mind ages ago and you're hoping to get a bunch of good laughs about it), SHUT UP. It's so irritating to say and hear the same things over and over again, like a freaking broken record.

- Quit giving corny jokes. If I'm in my normal state I would just throw it back at you with an even cornier one. But now that I'm weirder than usual, I will seriously get mad at you. Stop wasting my time with your stupid jokes because they aren't even funny. In fact, I do smell sometimes if one joke or anecdote originally came from me, which makes me angrier. That is NOT really a good way to flatter me. I don't really believe in imitation as being the greatest from of flattery, so just shut the fuck up.

- Do not try to be funny by being cocky or tackless. God knows how some of you can do the miraculous act of putting two seemingly different things in a fusion that can be the death of me, but seriously, just stop it. I don't care if you're smarter or wiser than me, but stop shoving it into my face with sarcasm that is supposed to be laughable, BECAUSE IT IS SO FUCKING NOT. How about just shoving it into my face, you may ask? Why don't you try it? Just promise me that you will run for your life after because I don't want to be arrested for murder just because of kicking your ass out till you die.

Anyways, I'm done spreading the word. Have to study for a quiz tomorrow.


Friday, July 02, 2010

Musings 2

All those career talks make me really, if not extremely, excited for the REAL world out there that's waiting for me. For the longest time, I've been wanting to finish my studies already and work my ass out for myself. Yes, I am very materialistic and desirous, as I unluckily got this hereditary trait from my father who give a quarter of his pay to us, and the rest will fall to the hands of the cashier at an Armani store. He used to be a gadget aficionado like yours truly but when he was exposed to the colorful European couture during his long-lived yet mundane eurotrips, he turned out to be part-gay and had this fascination for clothes that were so expensive to begin with. I don't really mean the gay part because that will be sad on me and my siblings' part, I just find the thought of him scuffling for D&G underwear pretty well, gay and funny.

Anyways, my mom and other grown-ups in our family keeps on asking me on my plans after saying my adieu to university life, right probably after my last grade consultation day. For someone who keeps shoving into everybody's face that she's lethargic, I don't want to be one of those fresh graduates who wants to lie low and take about four months of break because heck, four and a half years of murdering your brain wasn't just a phase. No, I don't want to stop. As long as the opportunity is already there, I gotta grab it because I have the rest of my life to take a beak, but I gotta work now.

I've already sketched my plan in my mind:
  • Finish the damn thesis first and have the OJT on my last term so if the company liked me, I can be absorbed or;
  • Have the OJT first and work hard on the thesis right after. I can look for a company later on.
  • Unlike my father, I want to work in a multinational company as a hardware engineer. As for the software part, I don't think I can be a good software engineer since my definition of playtime comprises of having to haphazardly surf the net and/or play with the computer. And given that softwares are programmed which means I will be programming a lot, expect that three-fourths of my work time will be spent on Facebook.
  • If I work in HP, I have the privilege of living across my workplace since Mom got us a condominium at McKinley Hill. And my God, just merely thinking of it is just so exciting. I have a cool job at a cool company who is just in front of our cool place in the coolest location ever. I'll be the definition of cool in the near future. Most probably it will turn into awesome when I hit my 40's.
  • I'll grab every business trips that will come my way. I miss eating McDonald's and Burger King in big airports of other countries. The last time I did eat a foreign burger from the fastfood chain was in Schiphol and that was seven years ago, damn it. Mom even bought me this art kit there on our way back to Kuala Lumpur before we arrive in Manila. And in KLIA, I bought this random Malaysian magazine. So much for souvenirs.
  • And speaking of airports, the niftiest one I've seen is the Schiphol but I could've sworn that HKIA is the winner if it weren't for the Filipino galore. Seeing other Filipinos abroad is the weirdest encounter I have to avoid.
  • As for marriage, I don't think I can marry anybody without earning a lot of moohlas first. I can wait and enjoy my single life till I hit 30. But beyond that, I don't think I can have kids anymore. I can marry, but I don't want any painful labor moments nor offsprings. If you want to get me pregnant, you better do that before 2021.
  • And since we are on the topic anyway, my parents will not be spending a cent on my wedding day. Not that I'm full of pride but my parents do deserve a break after spending almost a million just for my education. And that's just me, for Christ's sake, I have a sister and three brothers to keep in my mind. My wedding day is the start of my life that I will detach myself from my parents' captive and that's why I'm being a responsible teenager by planning all of these so I can earn bazillions. *breathes*, Pangbawi lang.

Will I keep this blog up until I'm a workaholic already? Oh yeah.