Thursday, September 25, 2008

Well, We Lost

And by We, I mean the whole Lasallian community. You can look at it on either side of the story: we lost because we're just unlucky, or we lost because being a Catholic university that we truly are, we paved Ateneo's way to championship because we've been winning a lot of times already, and we can all definitely agree that it's about friggin time that they win something. Nah, I'm not gonna expound on either theories, because that'll just attract fanboys and fangirls from both teams. I wish you can all see this prodigious effort I'm doing to conceal my unrelenting vexation towards this...this thing that's merely putting a heavy burden on my back.

Breathe in....

IcantbelievewelostohfriggingodI'vebeensupportingthegreenarchers
sincesixthgradeandnowthatIaminthesameschoolwheretheyareitjust
saddensmyassthattheyhavetoloseonmydebutyearincollegeohoh
thoseelitepeopleinthebluesideareprobablyrejoicingtheirwininsome
clubwhileweareallherestuckinanacrimonywehaveyettoescape

And, breathe out.

Do you know what's the silver lining amidst this unfortunate event?

Our players are still the hottest creatures alive. Oh, and not just hot...they're also smart. I mean, that''s the key for one's success in life, right? Being hot and smart. God, I so knew they were your descendants. I won't mind buying a bunch of Atkins standees and have them all in my room and praying at it all for five or a hundred times a day. But of course I won't forget God. He's still the standee of all standees, althought I have yet to see for myself a version of his standee.

Well, whatever.

To the Ateneo Blue Eagles,

Congratulations!

( I swear I can taste my own bitterness right now. And I'm not even a player, for Christ's sake.)

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Okay, so there's this Essay Writing Contest whatever stint again in school, and I don't really know if I should throw in my Argumentation-Persuasion essay I made for my ENGLCOM class last term. But generally, this is the third Essay Writing Contest that God has been shoving into my face since high school, and I do believe that there's no such thing as the third time or try being the charm.

Let me give you a recap of my pusillanimous actions towards contests or chances like this where I have to spill my opining ink all over some blank paper:

  1. The Manila Times Essay Writing Contest - I was supposed to write an essay about my ideas on how this fucking country will develop, but as it sourly turned out, I deferred my entry and moped all week instead. I chickened out, because I thought my essay lacked substance and class and other whatever stuff essays need to have at that time.
  2. Economics Essay Writing Contest - I can't really remember the topic that I was supposed to elocute in a thousand-word essay, but as far as I can recall, I wasn't able to show up at the event because of my GIFT class and well...my vacuousness.
  3. Pauliworld Career - GAH.
  4. Youngblood Attempts - As of this writing, I have five drafts for this column in the Philippine Daily Inquirer that is but of prestige: two of which are finished, and three are like government projects that did not receive the right budget for their respective implementation. Unfinished. Unfinished. Unfinished. I still continue to make essays for this section though...but I just seem to can't get that push from some authority that would make me finish them all and submit them all to essay writing contests where I can get myself some hefty cash amount, if ever.
See? I have enough reasons as to why I should not join any essay-writing contests anymore. I am mediocre in every sense, and everybody knows that mediocrity is a big crap in the society. That's why I am here, just blogging. It's not an art, nor something cool. It's just blogging.





But you know what? A part of my brain is really pushing me to join.


I am just so fucking weird, I can't even understand my own sentiments.


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Today is my brother's first birthday. Hur...Ay.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday Morning

So it occurred to me that I've let a week fly off without me ranting about things. Sad to say that I just ran out of things to deteriorate, thus probably making you all think that the world is slowly becoming a good place to live in. It's just that life has been just seriously good for me for the past few weeks, aside of course from the fact that I'm gradually becoming aware that I'm studying in a campus filled with people who dress themselves with such flamboyance, even if their faces look like shit. I'm not being insecure or anything...oh suck it - they make us all inferior to death.

Anyways, I'll give you a rundown of how the week went by:

Monday - Our respective professors for our differential calculus and solid mensuration classes finally showed up after failing to orient us on our supposed first meeting, which was last Wednesday and Thursday. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. All of my math professors now are members of the opposite sex. Well, so much for girl power. The number of males are dramatically increasing, and the girls are bovinely saying goodbye to their inner girlness. I can prove the latter so easily.

Tuesday - Graphics was...okay, I guess. At least I now have an outlet of my artistic shenanigan that is still unfortunately stuck in my head. I'm hoping that the friggin graphing kit that costs 5000 bucks will stand for its worth and let my creativity and imagination burst out like hell. Our professor for ENGLRES is yet to appear, as we all indulged again in an early dismissal. I bought three books for this term, and they hella cost a LOT. I swear I saw my mother's wallet weeping as she pulled out bills for my books that morning. 

Wednesday - I went to school two hours earlier than my first class to finally lift my butt off to the OUR and get that infamous form for manual dropping of courses. I decided days ago that I don't feel like ballroom dancing this term because of juvenile reasons I have no plans of elucidating, and I could definitely use the 90% refund to cover the expenses of the uber-expensive graphing kit. In that way, my mother's wallet will stop cursing me and striking my guilt every single time I need money. I mean, where the hell am I supposed to get money anyway? Ah, wallets nowadays.

Thursday - While my classmates are dancing their asses off at the sports complex, I submitted the form and claimed my revised EAF from the OUR (college talk, huh?). I hurried off to the accounting office to get my refund, but it sourly turned out that I can only claim it two months after the dropping period. What a shame. What a friggin fucking shitting shame. I apologized to my mother because I just snatched off 5000 bucks without compensating it on the same day. I don't know why, but I just felt kinda sorry for myself because I chose a course that is so expensive and demanding, I can barely keep up. With the whopping tuition and the list of things I have to buy, my parents should just like, let me stay at home or something. I'm a shithole anyway. Oh, and our ENGLRES professor ditched us all again. So some my classmates and I went to Andrew to complain about the non-existence of our professor and with obviously missing out three meetings already, our teacher is wasting our money and time. As it turns out, the teacher has been going to the wrong room for our ENGLRES period. Wrong room. What the hell.


In another story, I am finally experiencing REAL poverty everytime I go to school. Like yesterday, for instance. I went to school with only fifty pesos left in my wallet, and I haven't eaten anything. Yeah, not even breakfast. So you can just imagine my gargantuan thighs wobbling like hell by the time I reached fifth floor. I didn't even have cellphone load, for Christ's sake. I was just thankful that I saw mom and my brothers at the mall after class. If I didn't, I'd probably walk my way to home and be mugged or something.

But still.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

A Letter to God

Dear God,

As You can see, Your plan to devastate my second term is starting to turn out as a success. I know this is still a part of Your Karma's A Fat Bitch project that unfortunately backfired last term because of my unusual kindness and nonchalantness. And whatever Your other plans may be, I'll support them all, be it about me getting murdered off the street or failing differential calculus. Ah, everybody just have to love Your will.

So God, here are signs that your plan is definitely working out:

1. I just ran out of melatonin. And unfortunately, I have an eight-thirty class later. Oh, and it's not just a class. It's DANCE for Christ's sake. How the hell am I to friggin DANCE with my eyes and brain swelling and begging me to give my whole system a break? I just want to sleep, really. Please, God? Let me sleep just this one night, and I'll rush to the nearest drugstore tomorrow to get myself boxes of Sleepasil. In that way, Your holiness need not to intervene with my sleeping problems anymore.

2. I've known this since that day our block president gave us our respective EAF's: almost all of our classes are to be held only in one room, which is V510. Let me analyze that for You, God. V is for Velasco Hall, 5 is the floor number, and 10 is the room number. Since there exists no elevators in the Velasco Hall and the fifth floor is actually the topmost floor in the said building, that means crawling through a bunch of steps just to attend my classes. Clearly, this may seem to be a chance you've given to me to cut down chunks of fat. You see, if that was the case, then I would have been expressing my untainted gratitude for your support in long-forgotten dream of mine to be slim for once in my life. But I'm evidently complaining. My lungs will bleed out and I would then have to spit it out like a chewed gum.

3. My mind, like my body clock, is still stuck in those so-called term break days. I just can't seem to motivate myself to be interested, consequently making me very hesitant in waking up and going to school. Aw, shit that. Being a Dean's Lister suck like hell. Sure, you get unlimited cuts and absences and other freebies, but then you have to study harder and make it to the damn list again! It's as if you're not allowed to even step a foot out of the DL circle, and well if you do, you'll not be permitted to get in again. Getting good things can suck sometimes.

See, God? You are such a cool and smart organizer. I'm literally begging you now to plan my life way ahead of me. Please, oh Lordy?

Oops, looks like your heaven-sent melatonin is kicking in...

THANKS,
your introverted daughter that you'd love to throw in hell 

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Physics and Love

My physics nerd identity is starting to crawl up again in my spine, creeping through my whole system and forcing me to relate everything with physics, physics, and of course, physics. Well, I kinda forgot for a hefty amount of time that I loved and worshipped physics, and you have to thank lethargy among other things for that. 

I lost physics somewhere in my sleep. And GAH. It's back to destroy my social life - oh sorry, non-existent social life, I mean. It's like time tried to warp me back in my early fourth year high school days but ended up unsuccessful, much to my gratitude. Instead, it just gave me back those old nerdy feelings I had for the world's favorite science. I wish time could just use some thinking for a while, you know? It seems a little bit early for me to be all enthused about gravity bullshits because I will not be getting a dose of Engineering Physics till third term. What a relief, I know. But then again, what the hell am I gonna do with this physics lust?

Oh. I know.

Relate it to...

Love. (*insert your most melodic laugh here*)

Well, if you come to think of it, love and physics are two lines that had always been parallel to each other, and thus never intersected by any chance. It's probably because not all people appreciates the beauty that lies hidden beneath the taunting appeal physics offers, contrary to the way love intoxicates just about everyone. So, here goes nothing.

---------------------------

Love is simply a force. And by definition, force is something that can cause a mass to accelerate. We being the mass, and force being the love...you get the picture. It just gets us all moving in a different way - far more distinct than other natural forces around us. Because it's a vector quantity, wonder no more if you're feeling that you have this great sense of direction all of a sudden. 

Without this force, life is just simply bland. According to Newton's first law of motion, an object will remain in a uniform state of motion, unless of course an external force will be applied to it. Love just gives a whole new meaning to our actions and even our intentions. With love still being the external force, it just makes us go faster, go slower, turn left, or turn right. It's kinda easy to comprehend, really. 

And then there's the third law.

As Newton stated it, 'For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction'. As you love somebody, it reciprocates easily, whether one may like it or not. Most of you might refute this by saying that a lot of budding relationships decline in the end because one is intoxicated, and one isn't. See, that's the thing with love being a force. You have to exert all the love you can give in order to receive the same amount. And in a relationship, it's highly unlikely that person A loves person B more than person B does to person A. I'm no love guru or anything, but as I am associating love with physics, this can be justified by the third law. Just read it again.

-----------------------

Well, that wasn't so bad. 

It just sounds so...geeky. 

And hooray for the 6000th page view!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Coup de Grâce

So, yeah. The unexpected happened, and for some good reason, I'm not really all too giddy with it.

Long story short:

Yours truly made it to the Dean's List for this term. And I thought I will fail Algebra and mope all week long for my blockmates would be looking down at me like I'm a criminal or something.

Yeah sure, it's good. Getting in the friggin list in the first term of my first year in the University is a perennial sign that despite my futile efforts to slack everything off, I will still come out undefeated in the end, as if I studied my ass off for three merciless months. Don't get me wrong, though. I know I should be happy to be part of the list, but I just think that I don't deserve a slot, obviously because some people studied harder and sadly ended up out of the list. I don't have innate intelligence, mind you. So it all was just too surprising for me to bear.

Anyways, setting my weird grievance towards something one should be thankful for aside, I'm giving my commendations to all of those who made it to the Dean's List for this term. May we all make it yet again for the next semester. Not that I'm being optimistic for you guys or anything.

----------------

Monica and I visited our high school yesterday - again. I know, I know...it's juvenile in every sense. But the hell with juvenile. It was really really hot yesterday afternoon and boredom spanked our friggin asses. We grew tired of looking at people's multiply accounts and snooping at their social lives and consequently looking for pictures of gorgeous members of the opposite sex. I mean, wouldn't you? Well, Monica needs to have her dose of some manly fancy because she's complaining that there aren't any cute guys in UP, but I've already had enough of my fascination for handsome men because...well...I just see a lot of those every single day. Not that I'm complaining, or anything.

But I still prefer the rugged types, if you know what I mean.

We climbed up the slope inside the school, and already saw our former PE teacher. We said hi in the most cheerful way we can, and she just grinned. The hell with that grin. We soon wondered why is everybody looking so gloomy or something. Kinda weird, really.

So off we went to the canteen...yada yada. Turns out that the friggin canteen doesn't allow cash transactions anymore, which is really a bad thing. How in shit's name are we to buy our food? Ah, whatever. We just went to the senior's building to reminisce those good 'ol high school days. To my former batchmates: remember the square paths near the canteen? Well, it's gone now. They replaced it with a covered pathway instead. Screw that.

On our way to the main building, a former busmate recognized us. She was ecstatic as she tried to remember our names. For the record, she got Monica's name right, but my name has yet to be revealed in her world. And mind you, she's already a senior student. It irritated me a bit, of course. Still weirdly ecstatic, she asked our respective universities.
Monica: um, UP.
Girl: WOOOW. Ang galiing!! (turns to me) Ikaw ate?
Me: uh, La Salle.
Girl: ah.

Now THAT really made me burst into flames inside. If my parents didn't raise me in the right way, I could've confronted her right there and then. What is it with these kids and stereotyping? I wasn't like this when I was in high school. If I were, then I could've just applied for UP or Ateneo because those are the only schools people seem to accept nowadays. And I friggin hate it. I don't want to bash other universities but what is it with UP and Ateneo that my school doesn't have? La Sallle had already established its prestige in so many fields...in engineering, most especially...but why is it still being stereotyped as something so mediocre?

I obviously don't have the answers. All I know is it is so easy for one to be able to pass DLSU's entrance test, sure. But it's hard surviving the trimestral system and the fact that the subjects are so damn hard. I hope people would just stop being so judgmental.

To that girl:

Schools will no longer matter when you step into college. You may think that you're way way above the normal line because you're from a good high school. But let me tell you straight in your face that you're absolutely wrong. Your credibility will no longer rely on where you came from, but will instead focus on how you will be able to survive college life. I've got friends from varying universities and colleges in the metro and we don't give an ass on who's the better school or whatever immature stints you can think of. You better learn, or you won't live long.