Thursday, May 31, 2007

Last Taste of Summer

GAH. And it's all over. Review classes are over. Ah, and please kill me now for saying this...

BUT I'M MISSING IT ALREADY.

Yeah yeah whatever. I know. Cliche here, cliche there. But I really am missing THAT BOY Monica and I are having a terrible crush on. His face is just so dreamy and cute, that it's like an interesting painting which is good to look at.

And by now, I officially have one more week left to relish that after-taste of summer. One more chance to breathe in that summery goodness before I hit the classrooms again on the 13th. Funny. I don't remember getting nervous or excited or anxious about it. Probably because I just spent a whole month in a classroom? with my colleagues? Yeah whatever.

Come spend it with me, oh dearie flies.

-------------------

Blank. Blank. Blank.

I find it very weird that I can't say anything that would make sense and at the same time would be enjoyable to the non-existent readers of my online journal.

Let's see now...

Nothing.

Don't you think it's awkward when you just spent the whole day shading ellipses that simply corresponds to your answer that then would change your outlook in life? God, how lame is that.

Heh. Blank.

-----------------
I finally got hold of a subject that would truly change everyone's view right now.

COURSES.

Oh Giddy. It has probably become a trend nowadays for us incoming seniors to ask that pretty inevitable question to our colleagues.

"What's your course?"

Normally, I would shrug the hell of it off. But ever since I got hold of that UPCAT form, which by the way I just got last Tuesday, I was making decisions(make that LIFE-CHANGING ones) here and there. So, here's my official top five courses of choice.

1. Computer Engineering - Computers AND Numbers are my life. Programming is how I inhale oxygen and exhale out carbon dioxide.
2. Civil Engineering - If you've been following this melodramatic life of mine, you would have the slightest idea why. GEOMETRY, dammit.
3. Electronics and Communications Engineering - I've decided since the first day of my freshmen year in high school that I would fully torture myself in terms of mathematical equations because I badly want to take this up in college. In addition to that, Sir Acey told us that graduates of ECE can work in biggie telecommunication companies like Globe, Smart, Sun Cellular,,..and the like. How cool is that? Cooler than me to the 100th power, I guess.
4. International Studies, Major in European Studies - Remember the quiz? If you don't. then let me smack you in the head with this solid wood I have. There is something with Liberal Arts that I truly like. I don't really know about you people, but History and the like makes me really happy and anxious, like adrenaline's coming out of my adrenal glands every minute.
5. INTARMED - On a more heavier note, I also want to be a full-pledged and licensed doctor just like 50% of my relatives. I don't really like Biology THAT much, but there's something with being a doctor that I truly like. Don't ask me what the hell that is. Beats me. Blame Dr. House MD and those interns and surgeons from Grey's Anatomy. They're just tad too hot to handle.

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Alas! The future awaits for thy batch 2008. Wish me luck, everybody.

I WILL PASS THAT UPCAT NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.

GO ME!


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Monday, May 28, 2007

So Stop Dealing With My Inertia

There was this one question in our Physics mock exam that truly boggled my mind to the nth and kth power.

"What is the difficulty encountered by an object to change?" (or something like that)

I know for a fact that it's momentum. But there was no momentum in the choices given. So I thought to myself, "Wtf is that stupid difficulty?". So, using the infamous shot gun method, I just circled inertia out of time pressure.

Turns out I was right, and wrong at the same time.

I wish I can make decisions like that in life. You know, choosing something out of something that is pressuring and it would turn out right after all. And instead of that usual guilt you would feel, you'll have this contented-to-yourself vague awareness that would truly surprise others to the maximum content.

-------------------

Somebody told me that only autistic kiddos play PSP. And I kinda do agree with the guy. On both sides, I mean. Autistic kiddos playing PSP, and me, being an autistic kiddo.

Sometimes I wonder what is it like to be autistic. I real and hardcore one. Like those you see on noontime shows, dancing their asses of as if the world doesn't exist. As if the world's eyes aren't focused on them.

Are they numb? Are they invulnerable?

Do autistics fall in love? Yeah well if they don't, I better be an autistic.

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

Rebarbative Fact

I'm bankrupt. Seriously. I mean, I've been bankrupt before, but this time there was way too much money that was lost on a one-day basis. God. I spent 2000+ pesos JUST FOR MY PSP. Just imagine how much more I would lose if I have Nintendo DS or an Alienware. It's just a portable gaming device, and I just spent every last drop of the half of my birthday money. All in a week's time.

But that's kinda okay. I mean, I don't know where would I spend the 4 grand anyway. I couldn't think of any good purposes for it. So why not spend it on the greatest boredom-buster device ever?

I still think it's a bad idea.

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Hallelujah to the Almighty God. Review classes are to end next week, and I would then have to enjoy my last few weeks of freedom before classes start on the 13th. So, that technically gives me A WEEK to sleep my butt crack off in return for those sleepless nights I've rendered for studying word problems and momentums, which by the way wasn't even discussed during Physics class. What a dumb move, I know. It proves to be even dumber when you're trying to be smart for once when the outcome is that you'll become a freakin' dumbass.

For some unknown reasons, my nervousness for the UPCAT or any other college entrance tests started to alleviate this week. I don't really think it was because of the review classes. I don't really think it was because of SOMETHING. I just woke up feeling all googley-boggley and feeling all good and stuff.

Or maybe it was because my birthday's over. I don't have to go over this superficial and stupid event again.

---------------------

I've been really giddy and happy these past few days. And no, it's not because of that stupid and moronic feeling you get when you like someone more than as a friend. Not that L word again. It's forbidden here from now on.

It's because of THE RAIN!

Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen! Bid that stupid scorching summer sun au revoir and say hello to misterister RAIN!

Rain makes me happy. Storms make me even happier.

I am actually watching out for the rain since the start of the month since PAG-ASA said that there would be 3-4 storms that would bombard our country. But what a liar that government agency is. All I know is that there was only one storm that passed through this country and it didn't even went here in Manila. Fuck that storm.

There is something with coldness that I really do like. I find it semi-romantic and fun, not in a L kind of way.


--------------------

I tried out this What's Your Major quiz I saw in Frances Caluya's blog.

i am seriously SURPRISED. Until now.


You scored as History/Anthropology/LiberalArts, You should strongly
consider majoring (or minoring) in History, Anthropology, or related
majors (e.g., African and African-American Studies, Chinese, Classics,
Cultural Studies, Economics, English, French, Geography, German,
Greek, Hebrew, International Studies, Philosophy, Sociology,
Women's Studies, or other Liberal Arts majors).


Mathematics/Statistics


100%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts


100%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage


100%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy


94%

English/Journalism/Comm


94%

Physics/Engineering/Computer


88%

Religion/Theology


88%

Psychology/Sociology


81%

Education/Counseling


81%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology


75%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing


69%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health


56%

HR/BusinessManagement


44%

Visual&PerformingArts


25%

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com



Tch. Mom was right after all. International Studies it is.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Solitary

Gah. Birthday yesterday. Not really fun.

But then again, what birthday is?

16's not a good number. And neither 20. Or 5. Or 1991. Or any other number connected to my date of birth in some way whatsoever.

--------------

I'm guessing that yesterday was an unlucky day. Let me narrate the whole thing.

As usual, I stayed up till my birthday because I like being greeted at the break of the dawn of my birthday. Beats me. All I know is that when people greet you in that way and time, you are sort of special in some way to them. I like being treated like a special kid. Like I need to be comforted in THAT way.

A few people who did made me special was Vince, whom I convinced the day before my birthday that it was indeed my birthday on the next day. Next was my two best-terestest friends, Monica and Kyla. Next was Lourdes. I wasn't really expecting any greeting from my ex-seatmate. But, as it turns out, Lourdes didn't forget my disgusting birthday.


After that, I slept for a couple of hours. Then, I woke up early to devastate the lives of the people in our household by ordering them to do stuffs I want them to do because it's my birthday anyway. You know, those same old advantages you would easily get on your day of birth.

AND THIS IS WHERE THE MIRACLE VASTLY ENTERED MY SANCTITY.

I told mom the day before that I want to go to church early because of two reasons. One, it's my birthday. I have to thank God for saving my life, and for pushing me away from my suicidal days. Two, I badly needed His blessing.

We went to Quiapo church to hear mass. Of course, as expected, the throng is much thicker than my dead skin. And the heat was definitely scorching my brains out.

And you know what? I didn't give a damn on any of those distractions. Instead, I talked to God the whole time. I asked forgiveness for what I've done. I thanked Him for tricking the fool out of me. Everyone was right all along. The Great Depression that really did repress me for countless weeks was God's way of a mean April Fool's joke.

And it all was not a joke.

Anyways, after that, I felt really happy. Like I'm quintillion pounds lighter. I so can't believe I can pray again WITHOUT any doubts about God or whatsoever. All I know is that He's got my back for the rest of my hell-driven life.

I promised last night, an hour before my birthday ended, that I won't let insecurity get in my way anymore. So what if I'm obese? Are you as pretty as I am? Are you as perky and pesky as I am? Are you as smart as I am? You may be better, but I'm the best.

So, you may ask. where the fucking hell is that miracle this pig's talking about?

This is the freshest thing you'll ever hear.

Lately, in our review class, we were to have our mock exam in Physics. I was so drenched that afternoon and all I want to do is get back home and sleep. I was soooo drowsy. The sub teacher for Sir Jeff was fun I admit, but the hell I care. All I know is I'm going to get drunk with some beer and ice cream and some sleep for old time's sake tonight.

When the teacher handed out the very thick stapled paper that's face down on my desk, that's the time when it probably came to my senses that THIS IS A PHYSICS MOCK EXAM. If I get a low mark on this, I would be a total dumbass already. I hastily scanned my module right before the teacher had set the go signal. Before I wrote my name, I made the sign of the cross for the first time in months.

And guess who just semi-nailed it.

Uh-huh. It's me alright. The 2nd highest pointer in the class. God, I was so happy.

I KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID IN THE SENTENCE BEFORE THIS JUST PURELY SIGNIFIED HOW BOASTFUL AND OBNOXIOUS I AM. But when you're feeling the same feeling I felt at that same time, you'll also want to quasi-boast it to death. A thousand bucks says you will.

God really is there after all. He just held my brain a while ago.

I'm one of those luck ones who was able to prove his existence using non-geometric skills and definitions.

But it's still spinning in a theta angle because of one boy who became my signal fire with the reason that he stole my heart.

How Snow Patrol-y and Dashboard Confessional-ish could you be?

---------------------

GAH. 16. I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.

God, was Britney Spears right, or what?

Nah, she's not. Look what she just did to her hair.

That's definitely not a girl and not a woman.

That's a moron and a dumbass at the same time.

----------------------

INTERNET CONNECTION'S BACK.

HALLELUJAH!

(The upper portion of this blog post was brought to you by InGen Internet cafe.)
----------------------

Vince told me something I realized was really really really right all along.

He told me that he prefers chubby/fat girls over the normal/slim/sexy ones. Surprising to my head, I told him that what he just said is hypocritical and unrealistic because no boy/man would go for a fat ass in any other way possible. Personality is not really that key someone looks for somebody.

I asked why, then this is it.

When you choose a normal/slim/sexy one, that would be too conformist and normal and common. There won't be any challenge, because well, she's normal already. If she gets fat, you're also in fat trouble.

On the contrary, choosing obese ones would be the most mature and original thing a boy could ever do in this generation. If that obese girl slims herself down, isn't it like a big accomplishment? She wouldn't get any fatter, I assume.

But it's all based on the girl's personality anyway. A boy wouldn't definitely go for a chubby and bitchy girl all at once. That would probably be the cruelest thing this world can offer to a man.

Whatever.

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Sunday, May 20, 2007

Big Brother is Directly Proportional to Life

They say that being real in life is nonetheless unrealistic. Redundant, isn't it? Like, if you want to get accepted in society, you have to be someone you're not, someone people would accept.

These days people wouldn't love you if you're not up for their standards. They wouldn't like you if you aren't as up to date as any cool person is. THEY WOULD NEVER LIKE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.

Sometimes I think that people who would love you for just being yourself can be counted right by my fingers. It's a 1 out of 10 result. If you're as poignant as me, you can definitely see through this life-being-unrealistic thing.

So, starting now, I would be the real me. Not that I want to get accepted and loved, but I want to prove to God that I'm back, and not in black.

--------------

It makes me wonder why young people hurry themselves when it comes to love. Take me, for example. As a 15 years and 364 days old, I can say that I've fallen in love a couple of times. But to some grown-up's perspective, that's still not love.

What would happen then if we take everything slow? Well, we can focus more on the good than the bad. Like our studies, and our families. When you're in love, you would always tend to see the worst things in life. That makes love as superficial as any moron would be.

Love is addicting. It's a feeling you would always want to have. It's a good thing you would always want to have and give. Perhaps the only thing we can only give and have.

The butterflies like it when we're in love, isn't it? They would always fly in loops and circles in our stomach everytime we would think "Blahblah loves me..." or "I love blahblah so much". But I think those butterflies would be flying more when you put in love in the waiting. In my case, being in love distracts me so much, I would always swoon when I'm bored. Ah, teenage love.

But whatever. It's my life anyway. Not yours.

---------------

What's with my birthday that I would always feel oh-so depressed whenever it's just around the corner?

My day of birth makes me realize my mistakes. It makes me look upon the bad I've done for the whole year I've wasted. It makes me ponder on everyone I'd restlessly hurted while growing up to be the shitface that I am now.

On the side, I was stabbed by my conscience last night. And for the first time ever in 3 months, I cried. Like a baby. And in front of God.

There are many so many things I felt sorry for. One of them is being so insecure in life. Being insecure is senseless. It would just make you so depressed and repressed.

I thank God last night for giving me a very challenging 15th year of birth. I've experienced a lot of downs, and little ups. But Monica's friend was right. Every problem you would be encountering is given by God, by which He has a purpose. Everything is rational after all. I was created by God to not be depressed about my weight or how dumb I am. I was not created to search for that mature guy who would fall in love to a fat-ass like me. I was not created to do things I shouldn't do.

On the perfect contrary, I was furthermore created to be me.

I was right all along. But then I turned for the wrong.

What a dumb move.

---------------

Monica asked me yesterday what I want for my birthday. GAH. She's like, the 5th person to ask me that already. And to tell you guys the truth, I don't really know what the fucking hell do I really want.

I'm probably growing more mature every day. I stopped wanting and wishing for materialistic things, but focused more on those stuffs THAT I REALLY WANT.

Turns out I don't really want anything. I'm not rich, but I feel like one. Beats me, I'm feeling pretty weird too.

And good Lord, I don't want love. Love would hurt my feelings. And I have to stop the homily about Love again.

And you know what? I'm contented after all.

-------------------

This is my last post as a 15-year old.

Nothing. Just want to have a sentimental ending.

NOT.

Friday, May 18, 2007

My Last Thursday As A 15-year Old

Was that title goofed-up, or what?

It's definitely a what. A what-ever, that is.

3 more days, and I'm legal, people. Hardcore-ly legal in America, is what I mean.

Will it be a Sweet Sixteen on Sunday? NO FREAKING WAY. It can be sour, or bitter, or even tasteless. But there's just no way it'll be sweet. I'm not sweet. So as to say, my birthday will never be sweet per se(It ryhmed.).

Many of my close friends are asking, what am I going to do on my 16th birthday? Heck, as if I even have a clue. Ever since I became suicidal(in which I'll reminisce later on in this post), I engraved in my freshly-extinct mind that birthdays just pass by like every single day do. There's nothing special in them, except for the fact that I'm turning a year old on that day.

Ugh. What's with birthdays anyway that people go and celebrate them with parties? Party Shmarty. Parties are just a classic way of perking up your parent's money. Parties ain't necessary for an introvert's living.

So what am I going to have on my birthday?

I don't know. But I want to have so many materialistic things on my current birthday list, that I don't think I don't need any personality needs anymore. And by personality needs, I mean, the same old LOVE AND WORLD PEACE.

I'll probably lock myself up in my room and cry again, just what I did last year.

I'll just enjoy the day before my birthday, which is may 19th, by which there is a sale on SM Megamall and by which I have a date. Yes. With....

----------------------

I SO CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GETTING MY PSP REBORN-ED ON MY BIRTHDAY.

HALLELUJAH TO THE LORD!

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It really makes me wonder if there really is an easy way up on that Mount Everest. Like there's this elevator, or an escalator. I won't be even surprised that there's an 8-way ladder there somehow.

2 Filipino women were able to climb it up yesterday - I think. God. How the hell were they able to do that without us knowing anyway? It seems pretty awkward for us Filipinos to be sexist morons when it comes to climbing up mountains. Remember the first Mt. Everest shiznit? They even have this special programme for it.

What makes a female special anyway? As someone who has a pair of x-chromosomes in her butt, I would say there is nothing special in being a female. Every little thing that us females have, the other kind have too. It seems pretty unfair, I think.

Let me take you for an example. How come lesbians are not treated fairly like gays are? How come it doesn't matter to the society when a female has a fat boyfriend, and on the other hand people gives a whole lotta damn on a male with a fat girlfirend?

Not that I'm pressuring that fat girlfriend issue again, but hey. Somehow SOME people would possibly thank me for my anti-sexist remark.

----------------------

It's about time. I'm going to share you my top 5 choices for college. I gotta stop reading forum shits about this.

1. UP-Diliman - No questions asked, definitely hands-down to this one.
2. University of California, San Diego - This one's higly tentative, but the surest thing ever is that it's on my list. And my list is definitely the only thing you want to get in if you want to be saved from extinction.
3. De La Salle University - Less conyos. You know I have a thing for conyos. I am one.
4. SLU - Any university located in somewhere under 30 degrees cold is good. And SLU's reputation has gotten really high these past years.
5. Harvard/Princeton/U-Penn/Brown/Yale - I AM DESPERATELY STUDYING MY CRAPPY ASS OFF TO GET IN AN IVY. Lemme Lemme please! I'd be really happy even if the Ivy-est university I get into is Dartmouth. IT'S STILL AN IVY

I bet you're wondering why ADMU's not up there.

Well, having your review center totally in front of Ateneo would really make you dislike the school. Moreover, hanging out in a fast food restaurant right in front of Ateneo would make you hate it more than ever.

I never liked Ateneo. During UAAP Season, I would always go for DLSU or UP.

If you want the reason why I hate that university, you can personally ask me. This subject is highly up for debate. A hotta hot hot debate that would probably lead to dismissive catfights and scratches and slits.

If you're in the mood to fight over it, remember that my house is highly Wi-Fi'd and the possibility of me being online all the time is 80%.

Try me.

I HATE ATENEO.



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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Blog Makeover

Like the new look? Heck. Remember the promise-slash-vow I made weeks ago that I'd stop editing? I broke it, obviously.

I woke up with a grumpy feeling this morning. Jaworski's party is way ahead of Eusebio's. What a good one. Definitely what I need to spring my morning up. Seriously. It's the one thing I really do need to prove to my mom that Eusebio ain't paying Jaworski to give his ass up.

It's my brother's birthday today. Mom didn't plan a birthday party because all of us don't want to celebrate our birthdays anyway. Didn't she know that May is probably the most goody-ooly month for our family? All of our birthdays are celebrated in a 5-10-15-20 manner. My Trans-boys lola's birthday was celebrated last May 5th, my dad's mom's birthday was on the 10th. My brother's birthday is today. And mine is on the 20th. Nice, huh?

This day went by like a slooooow poke. I tickled my laptop all day by tinkering Adobe and editing pictures I grabbed from deviantART. And to think I did it all in just 5 hours. Boredom makes anything slow, for sure.

----------------

Dad and I talked about me going into University of California, San Diego. I explained my plan with Kyla on how the hell would I handle myself there if ever I would bag that full scholarship. Dad hastily agreed, but on one condition. I have to make sure that I'll get that scholarship, or I have to suffer the pollution here for 4 goddamn years of college.

I. Am. So. Excited.

But I have to wait for Kyla to finish high school next next year. That means I have to go through a year of college before I bag my scholarship. Argh. Nevertheless, I'm going to San Diego, baby! Yeah!

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I remember the first time Sir Al asked us to write our first essay for our first quarter last year. Heck, it was a tragic, old, and useless writing. It's like I didn't think through it. You know, just scribbled what I wanted to write.

When Sir Al returned the paper, I wasn't oh-so surprised to see a lot of red marks. I perfectly know that I'm not that very skilled when it comes to grammar and vocabs. But what struck me the most was the note he had written on the footer of my paper.

What did he write?

Well, it was something about me being very expressive in my way of writing, and how he was entertained with the witty humor would always have in my essays. He didn't like it. God, I knew it. In the end, he suggested me to go to his blog.

Now that's where I wondered and pondered.

Why the hell would he even suggest that I go to his blog without knowing that I have this teen-boper online journal?

That's when I knew that.....

secret.

-------------------

Is it posssible for a guy to like a girl just because she's whimsy and witty? IS IT POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE SOMEONE FAT?

I was watching ET yesterday when this news about the Phat Girls came up. It was really humiliating for my part. I mean, these morbidly obese ladies are dancing their way to people's criticisms, while I'm moping here, sniffing beans as a way of pigging myself out.

In a way they've inspired me. On the other way, it didn't. Americans are not as dangerously discriminating as Filipinos. Filipinos really do have their own way of perking up a fat girl's feelings. Those fat girls from Phat Girls are ignoring criticisms because Americans are not really as bad as US flips.

That's definitely one of those infamous reasons why I'm THAT desperate to get out of this country. Co-caucasians, please save me.

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Election Schmelection

Posting this makes me a concerned citizen of this stinky country. God forbid my sensibility right now, but the current elections is tensing me out.

HOWKAY. Let's get down and diiirty.

Today is voting day, election day, dayaan day, or whatever you call it. For under-ages like us, this day seems to be awkward and normal at the same time. But for legal morons, this is the day that they're all given a chance to change the predictable fate of this country. Oh please. Save us all from extinction.

Now, the questions is, if I were to vote, whom would I choose?

Oh yessir. It's definitely a straight Genuine Opposition on my ballot. Why? Hello! I've been an anti-government bitch since I've known, and the senatorial candidates in GO are more convincing than those from the other party.

For local candidates, I would definitely choose Dodot Jaworski's party. Did you know that if I commute my way into the wet market, I would get a clear glimpse of the shabu tiangge? God, that sucks. The tricycle driver would always shout at those little kids who seem to not know that they're sniffing something bad, and who would hastily play in the middle of the road. I pity them. I should give them steroids for a change.

This election period was probably the only election period that gave me problems. Motorcades everywhere, traffic in one package.

I went to Monica's lately. Same old stuffs, but to our surprise election was held at the basketball court at the clubhouse. It definitely was a different experience for an underage like me to go and watch people from NAMFREL tally those candidates' scores. Monica even took a picture of one lady tallying some senatorial candidates' scores.

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Walang Magawa. Mag-Tagalog Na Lang

Ok. Sige. Kaka-post ko lang kanina nung wala kong kwentang post. Kaso wala na kong magawa eh. Magpopost na lang ulit ako. Pero may twist. Tagalog naman ngayon.

Andaming pwedeng pag-usapan. Tama si Kuya Boy Abunda. Tara, Usap Tayo. (pina-trademark na ata nila yun eh)

Usapang inumin

Bakit nga ba masarap ang beer ngunit ito'y matabang naman? Hindi ko nga rin alam eh. Nung una kong natikman ang beer noong ako'y grade-schooler pa lamang, grabe! Halos nasuka ko ata lungs ko nun eh. Ang tabang tabang! Parang ka-lasa nung tsaa ni mama. Yung pinapa-inom nya saken dati para ata mawala ung mga allergies ko. O e ayun. Pero tama nga ang mga adik. Pag madalas ang pag-gamit, matutuwa ka na rin. Kaya para sa akin ngayon, mahal ko na ang beer. Consistent na ang pagkakaibigan namin.

Hindi ako naniniwalang calories yung hinayupak na Coke Light na yan. Totoo. So, ano, pag-ininom ko un, walang energy na makukuha? Wala ring fat? Aba, edi ok pala eh. Pero nung pagka-inom ko ng isang bote ay talagang nakita ko ang deadly effect ng anak ng tokwang Coke Light na yan. Ah! Lumaki na naman ang aking tiyan. Alam nyo bang 2 buwan na akong hindi umiinom ng normal na coke bago ko ginawa yon? Nakikita ko na ang shape ng aking tiyan, tas ayun. Nawawala na naman.

Ang pare-parehong guranteed effect ng mga sodas o kahit ano mang carbonated liquid eh lalaki ang tiyan mo. Oo, parang beer. Carbonated din kase ata ang beer. Pero duh, at least yung beer eh mas masarap.

Mahilig ako sa mga ginger ale dati, lalo na yung Canada Dry na yan. Ayus! Masarap sa panlasa. Yun kase ang hinahanap ng katawan ko sa mga inuman eh. That CO3 goodness. Hindi ba't parang ang sarap ng feeling ng isang inumin na pagka-sarap sarap na dumadaloy sa iyong bituka't binubutas ito? Haaay.

----------------------------------

Usapang Mall

Ang pinaka-magandang mall na aking napuntahan, ay ang Galeria Mokotow na nasa Warsaw, Poland. Aside from the fact na yun lang ang mall sa Warsaw, ay napaka-daming pwedeng gawin doon. Andun ang Smyk Toy Store na sobrang favorite ko. 10 times better yon sa Toy Kingdom at Toy's R Us. Nung isang time eh iniwan ako ng nanay ko dun sa mall. Binigyan nya ako ng budget na 50 zloty ata yun. Malaki-laki na rin, cguro 1000 pesos na rin yun sa bansa natin. Pero hayop! Ubos ang pera sa kaka-bili ng mga Hasbro Board Games sa Smyk! Anak ng tokwa yan. Nagalit nanay ko sa akin nun. Simula noon ay hindi na ako iniwan sa mall.

Hindi ako natutuwa sa Mall of Asia. Ang laki-laki kase eh, at andami-dami pang tao. Tsaka ewan. Di ko yun feel. Siguro kung pupunta ako dun eh dahil lang sa iMax or ewan. Amboring talaga dun eh. Pinorove lang ng MoA na na pag malaki ka, boring ka. Tignan mo nga ko. Ang laki ko, tas ang boring ko. Nakikita naman ang pagka-realistic ng mga bagay-bagay.

Siguro ang mall na sobrang dalas kong puntahan ay ang Megamall. Kung araw-araw ako mag-ggym, edi araw-araw din ako dun. Yun lang ata ang mall na kabisado ko ang bawat floor at stalls by heart, maliban sa Robinson's Galleria. Naligaw ako dati sa Megamall, tapos imbis na mag-alala ang aking mga magulang ay sobrang pinagalitan pa ko. Ang tanda-tanda ko na daw eh naliligaw pa ko. Ugok lang daw ang naliligaw. Alam nyo ba kung ilang taon ako noong mga time na yon? 8 ata. Grabe. Kaya kinabisado ko na talaga yang lintek na Megamall na yan.

Kung considered na mall ang Mercedes Plaza eh paborito ko na yon. Bakit? Aba! Andun ata lahat ng trip ko. Shawarma, dvd's..magazine..groceries. Di ka malulugi. Ang downside nga lang eh wala kang masyadong source of entertainment doon dahil mas malaki pa ata ang soon-to-be Greenwoods mall kesa sa buong plaza, kasama na ang parking-an at E-nopi at terminal ng tricycle. Punta na lang kayo dun sa 2nd floor. Masaya don. Nag-bibingo nanay ko dun lagi eh. Text nyo pag andun nanay ko.

Noong pumunta kaming Malaysia, nakatira kami sa suite ng aking tatay sa The Ascott na nasa tapat ng KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Center) at Petronas Twin Towers. Ayos ang location kahit kailan. Araw-araw ay tinatawid ko lang ang mall. Tapos maglilibot, aamuyin ang napaka-bantot na atmosphere ng mga bumbay, at babalik na ulit sa suite. Sa KLCC ko ata natutunan magsawa sa mga pasyalan. Dun ako natututo ma-KJ to death. Sisihin nyo un. Araw-araw ka ba namang mamatay sa baho ng mga baktuling kili-kili ng mga bumbay sa mall eh tignan ko lang kung di ka magsawa.

Merong isang time na kinailangan ng carrots ng aking nanay. At dahil di naman uso mga long-katuts doon, ako malamang ang uutusan bumili. At dahil di naman uso ang mga sari-sari store o mga mini-palengke sa tabi-tabi doon, kailangan kong pumunta sa mall mag-isa. 9 years old pa lang ata ako nun. Sa part ko eh okay lang, kaso nilagyan ng twist ng nanay ko. Grabe. Papabili na nga lang ng carrots eh. O ayun. Sabi nya wag daw dapat ako magpakita sa tatay ko na nasa Fitness First ata nuong mga oras na iyon na nasa tabi ng grocery na nasa KLCC. Hanep. Feeling ko super secret agent ako na inutusan ng aking Hepe na mang-raid. Ayun. Lusot naman. Nakabili din ng carrots. Di nahuli ni itay.

----------------------

Usapang Bansa.

Ako'y nakapunta na sa 4 na bansa. Dalawang beses sa Hong Kong, 2 beses sa Malaysia, 2 beses sa Singapore, at 1 beses pa lamang sa Poland. Nakakatuwang isipin na from South East Asia eh nilaktaw ko ang Americas at pumuntang Europa. Ewan. May galit ata tatay ko sa America eh. Overrated daw. Onga naman Parang ano nga naman ang appeal non sa mga tao pag sinabe mong, "Nakapunta na akong America"? Halos lahat naman ngayon ng tao eh pumupunta na don. Hindi bali, matignan nga yang mga puting yan next year.

Sa lahat ng mga bansang napuntahan ko, the best pa rin ang Poland. Malamang. Europa eh. Pero ewan. Matindi talaga ang epekto ng bansang iyon sa akin. Ano nga bang pinag-gagagawa namin doon?

-Naging full-time yaya ako ng mga kapatid ko
-First time kong makapiling ang snow.
-First time kong makapglinis ng snow.
-First time kong matikamn ang snow.

Yun lang ata significance ng Poland sa akin, kung idadaan ko sa salita. Pero ewan. Dun ko unang nakitang umiyak yung tatay ko dahil ma-mimiss nya kami. Oo, mga paknerz. Hindi naman talaga umiiyak ang tatay ko eh. Dun ko namana ang pagka-bato ko. Nung unang time nya ata kaming iiwan, sa Saudi ata sya pupunta non para sa kanyang trabaho, hindi naman daw umiyak. Hayup! 2 taon kaya sya dun. Bwiset eh no.

Hindi ko na-tripan ang Hong Kong. Siguro nung 2nd time na namin don eh medyo nasiyahan ako kase shopping galore with itay at Mong Kok ata yun, pero katulad ng America'y overrated na rin and Hong Kong. Ini-imagine ko nga na kung pwede eh magtayo na lang sila ng subway or tunnel na mahaba, yung parang sa Russia, tapos i-connect na lang sa Pilipinas. 1 oras lang naman ang layo ng Hong Kong sa Maynila eh. Malayo pa ang Baguio from Manila kung tutuusin. Less buttache, pare!

Bawat lingon mo eh may Pilipino sa Hong Kong. yun lang ang nakakairita don. Kase halos singkwenta mil ang binayad mo para maka-alis sa Pilipinas, tapos malalaman mong extension lang pala ng Pilipinas ang Hong Kong. Bad trip. Lalo na nung nag Disneyland kami. Parang nag-EK ka lang eh. Mas masaya pa siguro sa EK. Sa Disneyland andaming pa-epal shits eh. Sarap sapakin. Lalo na si Sleeping Beauty. Nandun kami ng tatay ko sa may gazeebo kung san nakikipag-kodakan ang mga chikiting kay Sleeping Beauty ng bigla kong maisip mang-gago. "Hindi ba't si Sleeping Beauty yan? O e bat sya gising?" Ang sasama ng tingin sa akin ng mga Pilipinong kuto.

Sa aking pag-travel sa mga iba't-ibang bansa sa murang edad, isa pa lang ang pwede kong ma-conclude. Kung feeling ni Magellan eh bilog ang mundo, feeling ko eh bilog ang mukha ko. Hinde. Feeling ko wala ng gusto maging Pilipino. Totoo. Andami ko atang nakita sa Malaysia na lumilingon pag nagtatagalog ako. Pero pag tinanong mo kung anung lahi eh sasabihin na malaysian sya or thai sya or chekwa sya or aso sya, with matching barok english pa yun. Nakakairita ano? Buti sana kung realistic eh. Hindi naman.

Tss. Ako nga Caucasian eh. Ano? Laban, ha?

------------------------

A Love That Definitely, Absolutely, Cannot Be

I spoke too soon. I'm calling it quits.

We can't be together. He's lanky, I'm fat. If we go together, we would look like a human-ized version of number 10, or .01 if I'm on the left and carrying a big plastic of groceries.

Of course all of you would say that lookism in relationships didn't matter. But what if you're in my place? I've sacrificed everything. Time, energy, and money; but there really is no way this body would shrink.

Why, of Good Lord, why can't a fat pig and her lanky love cannot be together? I've never seen a very fat high school girl go out with someone lanky, or normal-sized boy. In America, it can happen. But you just can't get the American out of a Filipino.


"Life has never been this good for me. I hope this is for good.."

Ugh. Being fat sucks. You don't have the right to love, nor to be popular, nor to be yourself, nor to be free, nor to be anything. Being fat is like being a Jew on Holocaust. Feelings and senses are locked up. People disgust you. No respect is earned. No anything is earned, aside from calories and carbohydrates.

Being fat means being irresponsible. Irresponsible in a way that you're letting people know how gritty-teethy you can't get with food.

Thing is, I'm not even eating.

People should know respect like the back of their hands, if they should be respected like the way I wanted to be.

----------------------------------

We have a new keyboard. And I love love loveeeeee it.

It has these multimedia buttons on top which makes it super great.

HOGWASH.

----------------------------------

I did something against my will.

WATCH GREY'S ANATOMY.

Oh yes. I actually don't have an idea why I did so, but next thing I knew, I was mid-hooked. GAH. It's not my fault Meredith Grey's philosophical lines every time the show ends is so...true. All of them are so realistic.

What can I say about it? Well, hell it sucks. I only like it when Meredith would start saying those words of wisdom, or when Cristina would blurt out something funny, which has become so rare in every succeeding episode of the 3rd season. There's more drama and sex and relationships and shits than living out the show's purpose which is to entertain us with accurate medical information that would deal with weird patients. Thing is, I still can't see a weird patient. Every patient I had pondered in every episode just seemed tad to normal.

If I had watched Grey's Anatomy before I watched House, I still would choose House MD. I learned more medical and Biology stuffs in House MD than any other medical shows I've watched. And Dr. House MD is waaaaaay funnier than all of those surgeons in Grey's Anatomy combined. The characters in Grey's Anatomy LOOKS funny, like Miranda, who very much looks like a mushroom-headed hobbit. The characters in House MD looks professional, but still can live up the true sarcasm spirit of the show.

God, I really do have to stop watching too many TV shows.

Prison Break? Lemme try!

-------------------------------------

Love is getting weirder and weirder every single day of my stench-driven life.

When I was still a kid, I thought love was yuck. Every time my grandfather or my dad or my mom or any relative would ask if I love them, I would always nod my head in disapproval. Media has given me the information that love is just pure intimacy. Kiss kiss, hug hug, sex sex. Growing up with that kind of perspective really didn't help. It makes you expect stuffs and would later on be sadden by the fact that love isn't like that.

When I arrived at that stage when I had my first realistic love, it gave me creeps. Jeez that creeps. They told me that if you can define what you're feeling when you're in love, then you really aren't in love. It's like saying you're evil, but you really are not. Did Satan ever made a quotation that He, ergo, was the most evil-ish devil in the whole saga of our lifetime? That's what I'm talking about. Do the talk.

Turns out that I CAN define what I felt at that time. You know, same old butterflies in the stomach thing.

And now, as a full-grown love cockroach, I definitely know what the hell true love is.

This perspective isn't from my girly-girl, teen-bopper, personality. Like hell I am. Thus, this one is purely juiced from my wannabe-grown up part of the brain.

Love is not butterflies in the stomach. Love will never be a medical condition that is just there to make you squirm in delight that somebody loves you voluntarily. It is therefore a commitment to a relationship that expresses not only intimacy, but creates our own version of what maturity can lead to. Love, moreover, makes us perfectly mature if we can handle it in the least intimate way as possible. Intimacy is not the only thing you get in a relationship full of crappy love. Making sure that someone cares for you and feeds you and grows old with you is solely NOT the purpose of love, because our parents and relatives can perfectly do the same thing.

My pointless point is that love's purpose is to teach us all a lesson in the end. Remember, that all decisions we make affects further and future aspects of our lives. And if we won't learn from anything, then future is just a Gaussian blur with a radius of 100 in the end.

Somebody told me that I make him happy. I was thinking of this a while ago, and I ask myself..How the hell can I even do that? You know, make other people happy, but not make myself happy?

“Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”

-
Meredith Grey
----------------------------------

Monica and I were talking about college yesterday. You know, being in McDonald's Katipunan AGAIN on a Friday night would really force you to stop and wonder what the hell you're going to do on the next biggie step after we graduate this year.

Some people are wondering what course they would take up, or what outfits they would wear to college, or some teensy-flimsy questions in life.

But my real question is, WILL I PASS A SINGLE COLLEGE?

College friends are telling me to never doubt yourself when it comes to CET's. If you're doing so as early as now, then the more you will on July, the el great hellandia month.

Course is never my problem. Not that I'm decided on one, but choosing one can be an easy step if you really know yourself, which I am. It's either liberal arts, or engineering anyway.

God, I shouldn't be even thinking of where to study HERE if I'm decided to take a scholarship in University of California, San Diego, where my talents will be much further appreciated.

But one thing I learned in sappy movies and telenovelas is that you can't leave someone you love that easily. I mean love love, as in voluntarily love.

How bitter can my life be anyway?

-----------------------------------

Friday, May 11, 2007

Surveys and Ulcercolosis

God knows why I'm doing surveys again while I'm supposed to prove 25 word problems. Ugh.

Got this from Friendster.

Basic Bullsh*t.
What's your name?
x. It depends on my mood. Oyen would be nice

Your age would be nice to know.

x. 16 on the 20th

Are you single or taken?

x. In-between

Randomization.
What is your least favorite color?
x. PINK! WHAT ELSE?!

What is the last thing on earth that
you would like to do right now?
x. uh. sleep?

What clothes are you wearing?
x. repressed ones

What color is your bedroom?
x. PINK! Lintek yan! Ayaw na papalitan eh

What is your least favorite food?
x. greasy ones

What is your favorite food?
x. ICE CREAM'S DA BOMB

And your least favorite drink would
be...?
x. Coke. ....NOT.

In all honesty does myspace take up a
great deal of your life?
x. nah.

If you could be any age, what would it
be?
x. 20

Are you satisfied with the way you
look and act?
x. No. I want to be skinny. REALLY SKINNY

Is Bzoink a website that you visit
often?
x. No, but my mom does

Do you do drugs and/or alcohol on a
regular basis?
x. Are steroids considered drugs? If they are then yes, I'm drugging on a regular basis. Alcohol is a given

Do you think you are capable of not
eating for 5 days?
x. 5 only? a 100 bucks says I can do it in a month

What food and drink could you live off
for the rest of your life?
x. beer and ice cream

Boys and Girls Are Fun.
Do looks really matter?
x. Lookism is bad. But I have to admit that looks do often matter to me

Does size really matter?
x. I wish it didn't.

Have you ever had a
boyfriend/girlfriend?
x. Don't remind me

If so, how long was that relationship?
x. It's...short-lived.

What is your longest?
x. SHORT-LIVED

What quality do you find most
attractive in a boy/girl?
x. Smartness, bad-ass-ness, and crappy yet really funny jokes

Are you a virgin?
x. yessir

If you are not, do you regret doing it
with the person you lost "it" to?
x. ~

If you are a virgin, are you in a rush
to not be one anymore?
x. NOOO

Is PDA disgusting?
x. If I'm doing it with my significant other, then yes.

Is there anything that you would
change about your significant other?
x. NO. I COULDN'T ASK FOR MORE

Do you think you could marry a high
school sweetheart?
x. No.

Would you ever consider having a long
distance relationship?
x. Depends

Long or Short hair?
x. depends on whether what style looks good on him

Blue eyes or Brown eyes?
x. GREEN

Tan or light skin?
x. any color would do.

Looks or Brains?
x. DEFINITELY BRAINSSSS

--------------------------

Ulcercolosis is killing me. My stomach's rumbling like hell, and I'm coughing so hard my brains would definitely jump out from my mouth in no time.

--------------------------

[EDIT]: This part was excluded. See the post dated August 19th of 2007 to know the reason WHY.



---------------------------------

Review classes are pissing me off. I mean, really. I'll explain later.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Slow Down

God, bloggy. Being in-love sucks, huh? Well, I shouldn't even know that because I haven't been in a working and fo' real relationship before with my significant other. If I have one, that is.

So, what's with the love starter? I don't know. Like most of you guys, I also think that I'm a creature invulnerable to that stupid love cherub(Cupid, for you dumb-asses). Like I've said before, I don't deserve to love. People as obnoxious and repulsive and as fat as me don't have the right to. We can only love ourselves, and God, for those of you who aren't as God-forbidding as I am.

But what the hell did The Big Guy told that love gremlin to do again? Yes. The stupid love cherub got me in the chokehold. I'm not even supposed to be chokeholded, but ugh. Look what He just did. No way it's going to be MY fault.

But, whatever. Wish me bad luck.

------------

I woke up early today to go to the gym, but it's too early anyway so I opened Mac and wrote these thoughts that are stuck somewhere in my foot.

I was listening to Chico and Delamar while getting prep'd up to burn calories at Fitness First, and I heard one quote that truly struck me to pieces. Grease Lightning my butt.

The quote was.. "You don't have the right to point out the mistakes of others if you, yourself, can't even correct your own."

It was more than correct. And precise. And true. AND REALISTIC, to my part, that is.

Let me admit, I DO BACKSTAB PEOPLE. But there are choices I have to go through before I backstab one.

She or He...

-should be dumber than my dog
-should be really, really, really obnoxious to the point that THAT person's way more obnoxious than me already.
-should be a hardcore go getta.
-
should be on my "PEOPLE TO KILL WHEN I DOMINATE THE WORLD LIST"
-should be a player.
-should piss my ass off
-should criticize me
-should tell people how fat my ass can get
-should be kind to me, in a way that it's really disturbing already.

So, watch out, b*tches.

---------------

GAAH! That first two parts of this blog post was really something.

And so, as I was saying, I went to Fitness First lately. I studied, and answered our Physics take home test. Huh. I laughed my head out yesterday when Sir Jeff told us that our test 2 in his subject would be taken home. Didn't he know that we can cheat?

God, he really knew what he just did. The Physics take home test was a real headache. I thought that my migraine was just caused by the HOTTA HOT HOT weather outside. But no. It was caused by how the hell should I know what time would Plane A overtake Plane B.

And so, as I was punching numbers on my quasi-broken calculator, THE TRAINER approached me. Mixed feelings, again. And again. And again.

It has been weeks since our first session. I then remembered how crazy I would always get every time we talked and laughed and stuff. I would go gaga over his muscular build, and his pearly whites.

Well, it all just stopped.

Anyways, he approached me. Then he asked what was I doing. Then I showed him my Plane-A-overtaking-Plane-B calculations. He said he was amazed. Then he told me that he hated Physics. Yeah, like I need to know that from my bisexual trainer.

Let me explain. When you seem to be dwelling for someone, your past is all forgotten. It's all what's happening now. Look now. No more psychedelic feelings for my gay trainer.

-------------------

Have I told you what happened LAST Friday? Yeah well I can't. Monica would definitely kill me if I did.

But here's the low-down. Now I understand why some friends can't get along with their friend's significant lover. It's either me, or it's definitely me.

-------------------

Monday, May 07, 2007

Back To Anglais.

My laptop's pissing me off. For some reasons, I really feel uncomfortable with having the USB and Gigabit Ports on my left, while the DVD drive is on my right. It's very much unbalanced. I wish Mr. Jobs can read this, and switch some ports to the right.

Oh wow. I thought my laptop's half-dead, right? Yeah well it's really working after all, but the catch is you have to use the MagSafe Power Adapter in order to use it because the battery is still drained.

-------------------

My insomnia is getting better. I can now sleep for a couple of hours. I guess I have to thank the review classes for this. I mean, if it weren't for them, my eyes would've looked like an aching reproductive organ or something.

I don't know why I enjoy studying. I get this good feeling every time I get to understand something. I guess that's what studyholics like me gets. Don't you guys ever feel it? It gives you a sense of fulfillment, like you've done something Nobel Prize-worthy.

I remember telling Janrae yesterday that I'm ugly and fugly and fat. I remember telling him that in order to make up for the ugliness of my outer being, I am studying my crappy ass off every night. Well, I guess I'm right after all, am I? You don't get the respect you want as a human being if you're not good-looking or smart. You don't get accepted in reality if you can't depend on something you have, which people can be insecure of.

Isn't it good and fun if we just all act like Mr. Bean? I mean, we definitely should be like him. Not trying hard to be funny, and not insecure of anything.

Sometimes reality's secrets can be our help towards the right thing. I wish those secrets aren't hidden in secrecy, by which only a couple of chosen people can only find. I wish all people can find it, so as to say.

------------------------

Did you know that Albert Einstein didn't pass his entrance exam at the Swiss Federal Polytechnical School? I wish I can have the same fate. But the crappy catch is that he passed that math and science parts, but failed the Geography, History, and English parts. God, is it ironic, or what?

I bet there's no more modern life Einstein's left. If there is, then the whole world will be bombarded with atomic bombs every single day. No kidding. It was Einstein's idea that struck US during the World War 2 to make this bomb with purified Uranium-235, which can be used to make the atomic bomb per se.

Well, that idea of Einstein truly made him a cold-blooded traitor. He's German, right? Well, trusting yourself to your country's opponent is the most crucial thing a genius can do.

If I was in Albert Einstein's place, would I have done the same thing too? Hell yeah, but in one nifty condition. They have to execute ALL fast food owners and dealers except for Taco Bell. The world can't exist without CrunchWrap's and lunch burritos.

I wish my parietal operculum is missing too. And then my IQ would be as high as Hitler's and I'm going to execute all those good-looking people who makes us ugly geeks feel bad about ourselves. But you have to really bow down before me before I would do that.

-------------------------

While I was peeling the skin of an Indian mango yesterday while watching TV, I accidentally scraped a little bit of my thumb skin off. It started to bleed haphazardly, and all I did was to stare at it.

I can't usually do this. Cutting and staring at a bleeding scar, I mean. Something's wrong with my brain again. Is it missing? Oh, I know. It stopped rotating to an unknown angle ever since yesterday. Huh. Chemicals are coming out...laughing without reason..Aw men. I'm in love again.

-----------------------

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Filipinow

Bilang 101st post ko, mag-tatagalog naman ako. I mean Filipino. Baka sabunutan na ko ni Gng. Are or Bb. Pena o kung sino mang guro sa Filipino dahil lang don.

Nakakapan-lambot ang lintek na review class namin kanina. Kala ko eh nanlambot na ko dun last Wednesday, pero anak naman ng tupa o! May lalambot pa pala dun! Bwiset na Math 2 yan. Na-gegets ko naman, kaso gets nyo ba? Nakakairita lang pag boring yung instructor kase ang boring na ng lahat. Hindi ko nga ma-imagine na posible yung ganong event. Yung tipong boring instructor, lively class, at boring class naman sa lively instructor. Hindi mangyayari ever yon kase WALANG LIVELY NA INSTRUCTOR. Kahit ipagdiinan mo pa na meron, Aantok-antukin ka rin sa isa every now and then. (we find a special friend)

Natutuwa ako kay Mr. Bean. Sya na ngayon ang idol ko. Kase naman, hindi na-iinsecure yung weirdong yun. Sana eh ganun na lang palagi. Kung hindi tayo na-iinsecure lahat eh di walang suicidal na mag-eexist sa inner self natin. Parang AKO. Pero excuse me, hindi na ako suicidal. Depende.


-----------------

Usapang Musika.

Hindi ako natutuwa sa paggawa ni Avril Lavigne ng mga iba't-ibang versions ng Girlfriend. Oo, tae. Multi-lingual, dapat eh gusto ko yun. Kaso bwiset eh. Di naman ka-tono! Parang yung kina-kainisan namin ni Charlene sa mga kanta. Yung pinagpipilitan isik-sik yung mga lyrics sa isang tono ng isang line. Yung parang 'cristocentric pascha; spiritualiteeee' na parte na ng aming buhay sa aming napaka-gandang paaralan. Basta. Ma-gegets nyo din.

Buti na lang eh lalaking maitim ang kumanta ng This is Why I'm Hot. Imaginin nyo na lang kung babae yon. Bwiset. Siguro natuloy ako sa pagpapakamatay. Grabe. Pati sa kanta eh gusto pa rin ako i-insecure.


Nakakatawa yung tagalog version ng Girlfriend na ginawa ni Chico Garcia at Delamar sa radyo, dun sa show nila pag umaga na ang tawag eh The Morning Rush. Eto yung natatandaan kong lyrics. Pagbigyan na kung medyo malabo-labo. Alam nyo naman kasing-laki na ng katawan ko ang Memory Gap ko e.

"Hey Hey You You mukhang bakla ang syota mo! No way no way, kailangan mo ng bago!"

Di ko na matandaan yung isa eh. Tanong nyo si Monica o yung nanay nya.


Pag mabagal na ba ang tingin mo sa isang kanta eh ibig sabihin nun eh laos na yun? Kase nung nag 8 waves kami, tapos andun ako sa cottage at nag-iiPod tapos pinapakinggan ko ung Last Night ni Diddy at Keyshia Cole na sobrang favorite song ko talaga kahit kelan, parang ayun. Bumagal. "Laaaaaaaast Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...I cooooooooouldn't get aaaaan ansaaaaaaah". Akala ko eh may something sa iPod ko, o tapos wala naman. Dala ata ng sobrang pagka-bore yun eh. Anak ng taeng 8 waves kase yan. Di ko nga na-enjoy kase andaming umeepal.

Aba. Lasing na ata talaga ko. Parang gumagalaw ang aking telepono mag-isa! hala!

---------------------------

Usapang Pelikula.

Ayoko ng Spiderman 3, o anu mang Spiderman. Dati, oo. Kaso na-figure out ko ngang gaya-gaya nga lang si Peter Parker kay Clark Kent. Pa-nerd, hindi naman nerd. Ok sana kung nerd hottie eh, as in magaling sa Physics at Calculus o anu mang subject na nakaka-appeal saken. Kaso hinde! In real life, ka-level nya si Erwin Tulfo na mas mababa ang rank by 50%. O di ba? Asan na ang nerd? Wala na!

Pareho ba ang DC Comics at Marvel Comics? Ay bobo. Hindi pala. Anu nga bang pinagka-iba ng DC sa Marvel? Ganto yon, ang mga taga DC eh mahilig mag-suot ng mga suot-panloob sa labas. Parang si Superman. May red trunks/briefs sa labas, may sinturon pa! Sobrang durability talaga ang in-ensure ni Jerry Seigel at Joe Shuster sa salwal nya. Bakit kaya? Ewan. Feeling ko eh para lang ma-emphasize ang matambok nyang legs. Kala mo kung ano, noh? Bastos mo!

Gusto kong mapanod ang Shrek 3. Sabi ng nanay ko eh kasing-taba ko daw si ogre Fiona. Grabe mehn. Kamukha kaya ni Rielle yun. No way magkasing-taba kami nun. Natutuwa rin ako kay Puss in Boots. Sana eh realistic characters na lang sila lahat para masaya ang buhay. Pano kaya yun no? May halimaw kang kapitbahay na may pet na donkey na ubod ng daldal. Di ko na siguro kailangan manod pa ng mga comedy shows nun. Bawat araw ng buhay ko eh masaya dahil sa kanila. Tapos may siraulong pusang naka-boots na kalaro si Sweetie. Ay! Ang cute.

Nakakatuwa talaga yung Mr. Bean's Holiday. Malakas lang cguro ang appeal ni Mr. Bean saken. May isang part dun na nakakatawa talaga kase ni-lilip synch nya yung isang religious na kanta (as in Latin talaga yung lyrics), tas ni-rereenact nya kasama yung batang sumama sa kanya. Hanep sa benta. Halos umiyak ata ko nun sa kakatawa. Pero guess what, inulit nila un nung last scene na, as in happy ending stuff na. Tas hindi na nakakatuwa, kase silang lahat na yung nag-lilip synch nung lintek na kantang yun. Kailangan si Mr. Bean lang.

Hindi ko pa rin alam kung bakit na-aakwardan ako pag nahuhuli ako ng nanay kong manod ng mga morbid w/sex films tulad ng Turistas. I mean, ilang linggo na rin naman eh considered na legal na ako sa ilang bansa tulad ng Amerika eh. Tsaka hello? Ilang beses na ba ko nahulihan ng porn cd's na di ko naman pinapanod at pinapatago lang naman ng mga ugok kong kaibigan? Bwiset eh no. Tas di pa ko mature sa lagay na yon.

May nakakairitang scene dun sa Turistas na pag naiisip ko eh nag-huhurl na lang ako. Alam nyo ba yun? Kase yung kaibigan nilang Brazilian eh tumalon pababa dun sa tubig na may falls and stuff. Eh di malamang mabato dun. Kaya ayon, na-bagok ang bungo nya. Duguan, pare. Binuhat sya ng mga kaibigan nya papunta dun sa bahay nung uncle nung Brazilian na nasa tuktok ng bundok. Tapos mga siraulo't mangmang nga naman, nakakita sila ng giant stapler at ginamit nila yong pang-sara dun sa open wound nung kawawang Brazilian. Mga bobo pala eh no. Sana eh ski-notch tape na lang nila o dinilaan. At least mababawasan pa yung bloody stuff. Sobrang kabobohan eh.

Ever since napanod ko ung Fast Food Nation eh di na ko napakain ng Burger McDo or Yum! Burger ng Jolilibee or anu mang burger ng isang fast food. Sabi kase dun sa movie eh hindi malinis ung mga beef at may halo pang cow manure. Ibig sabihin eh may tae na ang kinakain natin. Pwet naman. Alam ko namang madumi na lahat ng pagkain sa mundo eh. Ok lang kahit pinesteng gulay na lang ang kainin ko buong buhay ko, pero karneng may tae? Sobra na yun eh. Desperado. Kahit nga ung mga mahihirap eh di kumakain non, pano pa kaya ung mga taga-middle class? Sarap na sarap ata sila sa tae ng baka.

Hanggang Chicken Burger na lang ata ako ng McDo e. Yum.

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Usapang Pag-ibig

Wala akong masabi. HINDI NA KO IN-LOVE EH. NAWALA NA. ANAK NG TUPA!

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cge. ayun lang. bye.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Grave Wonders

Happy 100th post, bloggy! I'm such a proud momma right now.

As a celebration, let me treat myself to a heavy and hard liquor night tomorrow. Now how about that?

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Review classes started yesterday. We arrived early enough to criticize the place and the people. All I can say is, it's okay. Okay, as in not good, not bad.

It was really a bad idea to NOT sleep the night before. It's not my fault my insomnia kicked in again.

Wanna hear another bad idea? Math 1 was our first session! Dammit! I was practically mid-sleeping during the discussion of slope intercept form. Thank goodness Mr. Russel's voice was so loud and I was in sitting in front. If it weren't for that, I would've been kicked out for being obnoxious and snoring out so loudly.

It was good. I mean, mom was right. Doing stock-knowledge-based tests is better off than playing PS2 all day long. Aside from the fact that my knowledge is regained, I get to accept mistakes per se. I stopped thinking that I can do all stuffs without supervision.

The only tests I was able to nail is Current Events, Logical Reasoning, and Filipino. Yeah, I was surprised too.

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God gave me a friend again. His name is Janrae, but I call him Lizzie, as in Lizzie McGuire, the sissy Hilary Duff bitch.

Let's see now, Janrae is a Mining Engineering junior from UP-Diliman. He can be very funny and be very intellectual. He gives me tips and enlightenments for the upcoming CET's. It's good. Having a very whimsical college friend like him should be a given.

I'm wondering why God is continuously giving me friends. Ever since I went down from that ol' mountain of depression, I've been having a kickin' social life. (Read: SOCIAL, not LOVE)

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Let's enrich our vocabulary, shall we?

I am Lorainne. I am very obdurate. Everybody finds it incredulous that I'm not enjoying my stay here on planet Earth. I hope to jostle into Kaka or Hugh Laurie someday, when I'm probably not sardonic enough to be called evil.

Ever since my suicidal days, I became so absurd in everyone's eyes. Well, am I not as absurd as I was before I reached the peak of my depression? My close friends have been helping me to the right way, but I am so ostentatious enough to deprive them away.

I am an introvert. I like being apathetic to life's musings. I can be very gawky, because I latent something that everyone needs to have in this god-stinking planet. And that is love.

Love can probably change my adverse, repulsive, and tart personality.

But guess what. Love ain't changing me.

The druggie, alcoholic, and God-I-Want-To-Smoke me.

I'm not taking coke, weed, E or Mary Jane, by the way. Just so you know the drugs I'm addicted to is safe steroids, which is not much of a danger anyway.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Goodbye Ol' Summer.

Tch. Screw that 100th-post-on-my-birthday plan. This is probably my 99th anyway. Blame God for not giving me a writer's block.

This summer is truly something I would remember for some lame reasons. We went to a lot of places, which should make up for the summer time we wasted last year.

Let me say first that this blog is really, really, really not worth anything. Ok, so it's on the Top 50 best sites in the country according to one stupid website. But that's because I listed my blog there. It's like they don't even have a choice anyway.

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BAGUIO TRIP


The horse's A-hole is a fun watch.





This is how foggy it can get when afternoon comes.


The gadgets I only used during the whole trip. I swear. No MacBook and iPods.



Stupid kids who can't appreciate the humongous fog outside.


The pets that proxy-ed Sweetie's presence.

The pictures are I posted here are few, I know. That's because some pictures are so explicit that nobody can see them.

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8 WAVES TRIP

This trip is very nonsense. Don't ask. I didn't enjoy it. There are so many wannabe goofs in the lapping pool that I was only able to complete a lap of freestyle and breaststroke when closing time was near. Tch. Talk about swimming comebacks.


Nognog brother with our kasambahays.





The view from inside the cottage. The cottage became my sanctuary for God-Knows-How-Many hours, just so you know how dull I can get.



God, look how fat I can get. I pity A for choosing me as his partner for life now. No more eating. No more eating.

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Tomorrow is the day. The day summer will soon be just a dream. The day my brain will work again. The day I shall forget whatever I stupidly did this summer.

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Adobe Photoshop.

What's in a name? (By which we call a rose? Ugh.)

It used to be so addicting for me to edit pictures and amaze my siblings and friends. It used to be so fun downloading brushes from DevianART or some googled website and try to just blot and blot and blot them off in a plain canvas in the Photoshop environment.

GAH. It used to be my hobby. By which it misleadingly made me choose the wrong GIFT course.

I was never creative. That's why the only field I would specialize in this kind of hobby is Image Correction, where I would erase pimples..change the color of someone's hair..cut off fat and much other simple stuffs that nobody would find amazing.

And now, I have to say goodbye to this hobby. I don't want to do some flimsy hobby wherein most people take part in. I want to do something anybody can't easily do. And no, bungee jumping is not in the list. I'm still suffering from Acrophobia. It would take me years(exaggeration included, of course) for someone to convince me to go up and down on that long and high escalator at Shang. Go ask Monica. I bet she died of humiliation just because her friend seemed so uncivilized.


Goodbye Editing.

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Dad and I made a good deal last night. The deal was, if he drinks another cognac or any other hard drink, I would go back into smoking.

Dad said it was a good deal.

I think so, too.

That sari-sari store in front of our house should be closed.

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I was reading Kuya Victor's blog lately.

God. He's amazing. He started blogging when he entered high school. And now, he's already an incoming senior at UP-Diliman, taking up BA Film and Audio-Visual Communication. He's one smart guy.

He's my current idol. Forget Hitler.

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bKt ngA b mHlig s Gn2 anG mGa pnOy sa pGttxt?

I don't know either.

But have you tried asking yourelf that stupid question? I'm sure it affects everyone in a different way. But he thing is, it's irritating. It's just like what Kuya Allan mentioned in his blog.

It's a stupid syndrome. And it's really annoying. Can we be more proper? I mean, what's the point of changing things up if it's change NOT for the better?

That Me and You syndrome should better have a medicine or something.

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I was kinda considering into joining this blog into the Candy Teen Blog Awards 2007.

I failed one criteria.

Go figure what it is.

  • Read-worthy - 50%

    The biggest chunk of your points will go to this. After all, we do visit blogs to read and view (if there are pictures!) them, right? Good blogs have interesting content and, let’s not forget, good grammar. ;-) Does your blog make your visitor want to read more?

  • Eye Candy - 25%

    How well is your blog designed? Does your design tie up with your content? It’s everything about how you place your image headers, links, ads, etc. It’s all about the colors you use and the fonts, too. Does it look like a big confusing mess or an organized kind of clutter?

  • Consistency - 15%

    How often do you update your content? It doesn’t mean that you do it everyday but you do update on a regular basis. Who would want to visit a blog that isn’t updated in a month, right?

  • Real Deal - 10%

    How original is your site? From the design to the concept to the actual content, how much of is it is really yours? Pretty designs and graphics downloaded from other people can only take you so far, but engaging content made by you is what’s important.

How the hell am I going to make this an eye-candy?

I need opinions.

No way I'm going to put any pink-colored STUFF in here.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Mijn Lijst van de Wens van de Verjaardag

I know. I know. My birthday's not even THAT far, but I obviously need to tell people what they should give me on my birthday. If your gift is not on the list, I'll give it to my friend Trash. We have the same birthdays, as you people don't know.

But first, let's find out why my birthday is significant.

  • Did you know that Leo Blair, Tony Blair's son, shares the same birthday with me? He's 9 years younger than me though. Just do the math.
  • Did you know that Cher and I share the same birthday? God, that's so cool. NOOT.
  • Dis you know that President Abraham Lincoln signed the Homestead Act into a law on my birthday? I bet you guys actually know this. Homestead.....uh, yeah. It's that act about that land given to the American West.
And now, the birthday list proper.

  1. I want to have this relationship with my love to last forever.
  2. I want people to be less judgmental and stuff.
  3. I want to be smarter.
  4. I want to leave this stench-driven country for good. I want to live in Palau, Micronesia instead.
  5. I want to be skinny.
  6. I want to have more friends with the likes of Monica, Kyla, and Charlene.
  7. I want to be less repressed and more contumacious.
  8. I want a new cellphone. But dad says I can't, since iPhone hasn't hit the Asian racks yet. Damn. I still have to wait for Father Christmas. Ugh.
  9. I want to smoke.
  10. I want something that people can be insecure of.
  11. I want a new laptop.
  12. I want a new PSP.
  13. I want a Nike Core bag for my half-dead Mac.
  14. I want a new, Vista-Powered PC. Not that I like Windows now or something.
  15. I want to dissect my shih tzu pet. Seriously.
It may seem that most of the stuffs in the list is not really part of reality, but still.

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I'm currently reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult.

It's sooo tragic. Reminds me of that Virginia Tech Massacre.

I haven't reached the half of it yet, but I've learned a lot of things already, like..

-Bad things keep happening because they are the only way that will remind us of what good things really are.

-In order to have happiness, you either have to improve reality, or lower your expectations.

So maybe these aren't really a lot, but they have already changed my perspective in life.

Try and read it. It's not as whimsy-flimsy as Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.