Sunday, November 26, 2006

Lorainne = Schmuck

I am beginning to morph myself into a dumbass. Or maybe SOMEONE had just been sucking my brain cells for too long. And I think this would probably be the right time to ask Ms. Malvas to change the uhh...******* arrangements. It's getting on my nerves.

But hoop-dee-doo! It's a Saturday. No Ms. Malvas and killer classmate here! No siree!

Oh God. I gotta stop taking Tylenol on a daily basis.

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I'm gonna be lost for a week. I mean school-lost. The first 4 days of next week will be for my immersion, and the Friday would be my breathing day.

I think the sudden splash of vacation and free days is not doing any good to my non-conformist brain. I mean, ever since the day after sembreak, I've been hating school. Remember my last post about me having that academe spirit? Oh no. It like, went somewhere after that. I don't know where. But I'm praying to God that it didn't go to THAT PERSON IN MY CLASSROOM that's been sucking my brain cells since 2nd quarter. Oh fuck that person.

And what I've feared since this year started had come my way. My love for Geometry suddenly died. I've discovered this when I was yawning yesterday at our last period, which was Geometry. It's like I don't want to raise my hand up anymore, because I don't have any clue what the hell the answer is.

And I'm not that confident in going to that class anymore. It's not like 2nd quarter, where I studied everything in advance. But now, I'm lazy. Lazy as a donkey. Or lazy as your usual beer-belly dad around the corner. Tss.

Please pray for me. Haha, akala may sakit.

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Oh Gooooooooooooooooooooooood. I'm soo excited for the immersion. But not THAT excited that I've already packed my bags, but you know, excited excited. Everytime I'm reminded of that 10+-hour trip, my bones start to shake and shiver to pieces. Oh how I just looooooove road tripping.

And the fun part was all throughout the trip, I'm gonna be with my beloved family in school, tri-siks. Although 26 out 37 of us would only come, it wouldn't really make much difference, aside from the fact that some of my peers like Charlene and Crissa won't be around to make it more interesting. Aww, mehn.

And to my partner, Paula, I hope we would make it through. I also hope that the unlucky purok we would be visiting isn't as bad as we've thought. It's gonna be a canned-good fest all throughout the immersion, I betcha it would. Ha.

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I've made a terrible mistake.

Like, soooo terrible I bet my dad would kil me.

I soo don't want that MacBook anymore. I mean, in terms of portability, it sucks. It's not like a digital camera or a snazzy camera phone that I can stuff inside my anus or something.

Q: Then why did I even beg for it in the first place?
A: Because I don't want to use this uber-big and slow PC anymore. And Photoshop works excellent with Macs. And I want to bring that notebook in school so I can use the internet for reasearch while waiting for Monica to finish her GIFT session or something. Or when I'm bored during recess or lunch time, I would just open that sexy notebook with a sexy back and I'm off to information super highway. And I want my own notebook where I can store EVERYTHING I digitally have, like money or HIS picture, perhaps.

Q: Why do I want instead of the MacBook?
A: I now have an official christmas list of portable gadgets I really want. It's very long, so I'll post it in a seperate mode.

So there.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Emotional Dilemmas.

I am so pissed off. I'm having so much problems right now, and none of them ain't academic nor anything to do with my family. But first, let's start with the good news.

1. I am really gonna get that Black/White MacBook this Christmas. Or even earlier or something. My dad told me that he already ordered online, and he asked for our right address and zip code. I am so happy.

2. The hard work my batch had been doing has totally paid off yesterday. Ok, so I was really expecting that we would champion in cheering and overall, but still. We were, again, 1st runner-up in both fields. But there was a tinge of that expectation that we would NOT even land on the 2nd place, because something fishy was going on between the whole high school.

Apparently, 2 other batches started to form an alliance called the "S" team. And their technique of pissing us off is so nasty. One batch would cheer for another and so forth and so on. It was so driving mad all the way that after that volleyball game last Thursday ended unfairly, the whole batch started to show their shattered emotions by crying. I hate it when people cry, and so I consoled some of them.

The sad thing was we were being sandwiched. Those 2 batches are hating us to pieces because we are very good in one way or another. They are scared that we might tip them off as the highest batch if we won, so those 2 batches sandwiched their way into beating us. But the good thing was they didn't suceeded in any of what they did. In my own opinion, the seniors just used the sophomores in an old-fashioned way of winning. You should just see the look on their faces when the sophomores just won 1st in cheering. Mouths were hanging open, and just staring at the whole scene.

I decided that we should just be contented in placing as 2nd in both fields I started to look deeper into the seniors' cheer "One last cheer, One last year" . I thought that we were being selfish in planning to beat them off in the 1st place. Why just can't we let them have it this time? It was, in fact, their last year. So hooray for everyone who showed the spirit of sportmanship during the intramurals. Burn in hell for those who didn't. Seriously.

CONGRATS JUNIORS TEAM! OLA CHICA VIVA JUNIORS!! God, I want to go cheering again.

3. No GIFT classes last week, no siree!

And now, let me turn into a sad and homeless girl. And by homeless, I mean friendless.

Of course I'm happy that we won 2nd in the intramurals, but that doesn't mean that the whole event itself was so pleasing. People are starting to get selfish and bitchy. I don't know what's with the Sportsfest season, but it's making people get selfish in terms of friendship.

I used to be so happy that I belong to a certain group of friends that I would really be proud of that I have. But now that they're gone, all I have is just 3 friends(one is a classmate) in the whole high school to truly be worthy to be called friends. At least they're my true friends. I wouldn't backstab them even if I would die or anything, and I'm sure they would do the same because they all know I'm the true-est friend you'll ever had. I'm never gonna backstab you guys in exchange for liposuction, or a lifetime membership in Fitness First or any other thing. Becaue then I wouldn't call you guys my family.

Okay, one more bad news. Ellen's birthday cake was stolen by.....someone. I'm sorry that your cake was lost, Ellen. Baka sa Monday andun na yun.

Ok. I'm off. I gots to do sooo many things. Damn this post-intrams feeling.

Currently reading: Nothing.
Currently listening to: The Suffering-Coheed and Cambria
Currently feeling: Homeless. Really homeless.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Hit it.

As you can read in my last sembreak post, I was definitely not having the back-to-school spirit. But now, it's back. And I like, like, like it. I'm back on that studying mood again, being a total freak by bringing home as much needed books and notebooks as I can. I know it's sportesfest next week, and I totally need to slow down on this studying thing. But I can't help it. I missed cramming for a quiz, quickly scanning and flipping pages in my notebooks, and having really really sore eyes because of staying up late studying. Oh you gotta love school. *yawns*

Anyways, I succeeded in persuading my mom into buying some new PC peripherals. We obviously needed a new webcam, so my mom bought this new Genius VideoCAM. It's the best. I mean, our last webcam stinks like ass. Logitech is not really all that good, but their wireless keyboards and mouses are pretty darn nasty as hell.

And, because I umm..sort of became jealous at Monica's mic. I also want to try that call service in YM Monica executed days ago. It was so cool for me because I don't have landline telephone here. Ahh, the joy of perception. And now I have this really big headphones with a mic sticking out at the left side. just like the one in school and call centers.

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Mom bought me a new Nike school bag. She has been itching to buy me a new one probably because she's one of those people whom I've succesfully irritated due to the lack of cleanliness of my backpack. Well I so totally loved that bag. That one proved that I have this good aura/sense in choosing bags. I bought that as an end-of-the-school-year gift for myself. And the best part was when I learned that I was the only one who has that bag. That made me that non-confomity is kinda cool, when it comes to bag that is.

But the main point here is, I don't even want a new bag! I'm contented with my old non-conformist bag that has scribbles and dirt engraved in it, and I don't need a new one. Because, I want something else.

An iHome.

Oh yakity yes. But it's not for me only, it's for myself and I. And I'm hopefully gonna go bring it to our immersion in Sipocot, Bicol on the last week as a source of entertainment. Along with it, I think I'm gonna bring my PSP, and probably a Final Fantasy X-2 off the rack with it. I would totally survive without my useless phone. I need not to text anyone, not even my mom.

I know that immersing(huh?) is all about being simple, living the unpolluted life, and living the Radio Star's legacy. But then, how am I gonna entertain myself anyway? I can't just play tic tac toe or SOS forever. I get so bored easily, like all of you probably know by now. It's a disorder that's keeping me mad for some reasons, because I can't contain myself in a good way. I need to do something fun and entertaining for me every minute, or else I'll die. Seriously. I tried not doing anything for half an hour, and I just freaked out.

I'm excited for the immersion. Really, really excited.

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WARNING: This is the most hardcore part of the post. DO NOT read if you hate mushy stuffs. Go away. NOW.


I've been crying myself to sleep everytime I remember Railey's phone call a few days ago. Not that I'm jealous or can't get over the fact that he took my advice so seriously that he moved on so easily, but because of the question that bugs me to death; "What about me?"

I've been moving on since he left. But it's hard. People just can't get over a relationship that they enjoyed so much so easily.

I'm officially moving on starting......................................NOW.

Someday you’re gonna realize
One day you’ll see this through my eyes
By then I won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared

Forgive me. I just seriously need a prom date.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

And it all ends tomorrow.

I remember having thoughts of not wanting to go to a short-lived vacation even before the break began. I would definetely get bored, get stubborn, and most of all, get more irresponsible when I'm just sitting my big ass of at home. And to top it all off, I was incredibly right.

I was supposed to submit my GIFT project, but I didn't get to, because I was irresponsible. I was supposed to start my book report and sonnet for english, but I didn't get to, because I was irreponsible. I was supposed to finish Noli Me Tangere, but I didn't get to(like anyone could.), because I was getting bored in reading stuffs about what happened to people such as Crisostomo Ibarra, Kapitang Tiyago, Pari Damaso, Maria Clara, and Tenyente Gueverra all day and night long.

See the effects of irresponsibility on me when you get to see me go back to school tomorrow, and when I would see the deadly results of everything I did last quarter on Monday.

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Last night was actually the 'real' last night of our vacation. As you guys can see, we're gonna do school stuffs again tomorrow. I don't want to study. I just want to breathe some Christmas air.

Anyways, after watching ANTM last night, I caught 13 Going on 30 on HBO. It was my first time to watch the movie, and I just love love loved it. I think it was really intended for me, really. See, I've always been eager to grow up and be the grown-up I'm supposed to be. I wanna go to work, I wanna move, I wanna drive my F150(like I have one), I wanna do grown-up things. But then I realized that I'm lucky I'm still a kid. I'm lucky that I can go and do good stuffs that grown-up people today were supposed to do when they were my age.

Although it was very predictable, the movie made my hair stand up and have goose-acnes all over me. Jenna and Matt's best-friends-that-ended-up-together story is really cool. I don't want to elaborate it anymore. Reflect it yourself.

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Out of boredom last night, I memorized the names of the characters in The Simpsons. While doing that, I got a call from Railey, saying that he learned something recently.

Me: Ano yun.
R: Moving on is quite good.
Me: May bago ka na no. Wow. Good job!
R: Ikaw rin cguro. Tsk Tsk. Di makapag-hintay. 5 taon na lang, hoy!

And okay I don't wanna talk about it because I'm not a mushy person. I hate sonnets. I hate love stories because they're pointless. I hate public dsplays of affection because it's disgusting. I hate stupid love quotes, because they never do work for me.

I hate love because love itself is turning away from me. In short, I'm the most hopeless romantic you'll ever see. I've loved, and instead of being loved back, I've been hurted. But I'm not angry nor mad at those people. Because they helped me moved on, and made me realize that there is more to life than finding your soul mate. Okay, life really IS too short, but not that short for you to not be able to find someone who would love you completely.

I gotta stop blurting out these 'love' thoughts that's stored in the deepest part of my brain and heart. It's not really helping anybody. It's just there to...bore me.

I gotta stop taking crack. It's really disturbing everybody, including my conscience.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Waking Up Really is The Hardest Part.

We're halfway to the completion of this semestral break. It's like being in the last leg of this freaking individual study thingy. I haven't done my sonnet and my book report. But everything else is polished right off the rack.

Now, every semestral break, I get this goddamn curse everytime. Like for my first 3 sembreaks, I experienced hardcore UTI's. And for the rest of the sembreaks I had and having, I get this very very very very very VE-RY heavy flow of blood during my period. I now literally change into a maternity pad every 2 hours not only because of sanity reasons, but because the maternity pad's already full. Tch. I've never hated being a girl this much.

But then again, I should be thanking for it. I mean, if those curses happen on school days, I'm dead.

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Things I haven't done:

1. English book report
2. English sonnet
3. English powerpoint
4. GIFT project, which is like due last Friday. (I'm sooo dead.)
5. Workout. Period.
6. Commit Suicide

Things I had done:

1. De-stress my self.
2. Change my layout.
3. Have a humongous writer's block
4. Geometry homework
5. Read the first 10 chapters of Noli Me Tangere
6. Play 50 Cent Bulletproof
7. Mesmerize at the Black MacBook I'm gonna have on Christmas
8. Relax
9. Plan a swimming 'party' for my busmates.
10. Write a list of the things I had and haven't done this sembreak

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This is probably the shortest and most senseless blog entry I've made since forever.