Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Schmalloween.

I've been kinda deranged for a while. And for a while means for the days the had past since semestral break started. I WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL. Is that such a hard thing to understand?

Although I'm not a writer, I'm having a hardcore writer's block right now. I don't know what I want to write about. I'm clueless about stuffs right now.

We were watching Project Runway last night on ETC. I was flabbergasted at this episode because not only was Andrae Gonzalo gone, but the makeover dress Daniel designed for Chloe sucked so hard I bet my grandma would vomit of she saw it. I think Daniel kinda missed Andrae and he really used his immunity to be dismissed from the competition. But whatever. I still love him anyway. I mean, converting Daniel Vosovic to his original masculinity is still on top of my things-to-do-before-I-die list. I still want to marry him, and have kids with him, and let him design EVERY clothing I would wear, even my undies and socks.


Daniel. Daniel. DANIEL!

And right after watching Project Runway, I watched Queer Eye for The Straight Guy. The episode was a total replay. It featured Chris Lim, a Filipino who apparently migrated in Canada but moved in New Jersey with his new wife, Michelle Bacani. It was really a total laughtrip for me and my sister every time Michelle's dad would speak. His dad has this very Filipino accent, and even spoke Filipino once. But the sad part of it all was every Filipino in the Reception thingy didn't really spoke Filipino. I mean, I expected some 'Salamat' and 'Kamusta', but I heard none of these. Sadly, even the Reception thingy is not very Filipino-oriented. Everything is, as I see it.

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I hate Halloween. I used to like it, but now I come to hate it as every Halloween passes by.

It is a tradition for me to go to our province(Dagupan City, Pangasinan) every Halloween. And since then, I enjoyed the thrill of road trippin' in the wee hours of the morning. And sooner on, the only reason I go there every Halloween/Family Reunion thing is just because of the road-crashing trip, not the event itself.

I asked my grandpa if I could just stay in the car the whole occasion. I mean, I can survive with just a bag of chips and a soda and something I can fix, like a broken motherboard or a broken PSP. I don't really mind the sweat, nor the heat. And when the call of nature comes, I would sneak in to a washroom in one of the houses there. My mom used to let us do that whenever we go to Quiapo. We would have to wait in the car for her to buy her stuffs there. See? Effective, right?

The sole reason is because all my relatives who are living in the Paragas Compund are soooo discriminating. Ok, I'm fucking big, so what? They are all giving me these sad comments that are making me more depressed on my weight issues. I don't know if they're jealous of me because I don't look like them. They look like milk fishes and prawns. And I do not look like any of those creatures. I look like my mom, which is half a creature.

But just like Jack Black, I won't let those people come my way.

Tomika: "Why won't you go on a diet?"
Mr. Schneebly: "Bee-cause, I like to eat. Is that such a sin?"

Word.

Monday, October 23, 2006

It's all goooood.

I think I gained 100 pounds this morning. All of that sweaty shiznit walk in Divisoria and Quiapo yesterday didn't really make a physical effect on me, besides the fact that I was as dirty as everyone there.

But anyways, I kinda did enjoy the thing we did yesterday. I think my mom's been avoiding malls because of the bomb threats that are freaking every one of us every hour. Like yesterday, for example. We were supposed to go to Cyberzone in Megamall to buy some iPod needs(read: black earphones because somebody sat on my very cheap and plasticky Apple earphones), but the Abu Sayyaf-bombing-Megamall thing kinda made my mom hysterical for a split second. And that split second made us NOT go to the cheapo mall.

So there. We ended up going to places that you won't see in any other countries except here. Manila's best, I'm tellin' ya. My mom was the only who shopped. Really. Me and our 2 maids just waited outside every shop my mom walks into. A vendor of nuts had almost mistaken me for a store representative, if hadn't look her in the eye. Screw her. But not her nuts. Oh God. Her spicy nuts are the most delicious thing you'll ever taste when you're there.

The twist of it was when we ate at a carinderia in the Divisoria market. At first I was pissed of, because why do we have to eat here anyway when Jolibee's like..10 steps away? But then hunger made that pissing of moment, and I just digged in to that delicious Pancit Malabon, drank the cold softdrink, and enjoyed the native style Halo-Halo. It was Buwan ng Wika all over again. Ha. And at the end, I was pissed of again to find out that our bill was 259 pesos. I sorta expected 50-100 pesos....but..at least I'm full.

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Hmm. Let's see. What can I talk about? I ran out of stupid....

Oh wait. I remembered something.

Oh yes. Last Sunday. YES.

My sister and I went to mass 20 minutes early for us to have a seat inside the church. When the mass had already started, it had hit me that my sister and I was the only ones in the seat we had chosen. Thinking that there was something wrong with our faces, I just ignored it. And after a couple of minutes, 2 animals walked in. Thinking that they would choose the seat opposite to us, I sighed. And then the giraffe asked us if the empty space in our seat was taken. I said no. Thinking that the giraffe would be the only one giving me a headache, I sighed heavily again.

And THEN he walked in. HE, who should be named, but I'm not really sure what's his name was. HE who have been my church crush for the past year.

And HE, who sat beside me asked if the empty space is not really reserved for someone. What a compliment.

I remained nervous and really conscious throughout the mass. I kept moving away from him, for fear that he might do something discriminating for me. But he did something else.

In fact, HE's...nice. He was supposed to hold my hand during Ama Namin. He was already motioning to grab it, but then my sister did something wrong. Really wrong. Really. Wrong. He thought that his hand was dirty and just wiped it to his pocket or something instead.

And the Peace Be with You part. Oh mehn. He uhm. Smiled. He. Smiled. At. Me. Kinda a sarcastic smile which came with a...wink. A Candy wink. haha.

But at least I'm not invisible anymore. At least HE knows I exist.

I'm gonna go hear mass now.

Friday, October 20, 2006

And the ugly results are in.

And it was sort of good.. except for the Geom and Trigo part. And later on, the T.H.E. part will also be ugly, but let's just save that for Monday when it finally comes.

And all of it was history. I mean, generally, not just World History(corny enough), but all of it improved. I failed the History test last quarter by 2 points, and now..it's more than passing. Oh yeah, even my Chemistry exam. Who would've thought that I would get a high score in that? Even my parents think I stink. At everything, to be exact.

Bleech. These week was like a fat man's ass. It stinks like hell. Test results popping out here and there, just like my pubic hair when doing the math. But hey, unlike my pubes, those results are affecting me all the time.

I didn't get to attend my GIFT class again because my asthma attacked me once more. For once in my life I just couldn't breathe normally, just like normal people do.

I got so nerdy this week. I was reading my ass of every single day in Geom and Chem, and it's not really good, believe me. My busmates are starting to think that I'm possessed, because I'm usually the one freaking out those who are studying. Well, it's not my fault I wasn't able to understand Monoatomic and Polyatomic Ions in the past days. Maybe it was someone else's fault, like dhslahdsajdg perhaps.

I'm getting tired of studying. No, really. I've been staying up late almost everyday of this week, and things just can't stuff themselves into my non-existent brain. Instead of having suicidal thoughts, my thoughts are now put into either Chemistry or Geom, which is in fact, a good thing. But I can't just stop studying and take a break. My parents don't pay my humongous school tution just for me to relax my ass off. But anyways, I'll get over it. When I'm not stressed.

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All of my classmates know by now that I'm really, really afraid of fires. I got over my fear of heights when I went to Enchanted Kingdom and sat my ass off in the Space Shuttle, went to Victoria's Peak 2 times, and rode the tram going there without having to sweat so much.

But the real reason why I super hate fires is that when I was a kid, we used to live in my Granparent's house, which was wood and cement combined. What would you get? A home very much inclined to be set on fire, and a castle to termites everywhere.

So there, my mom told me to put the refrigerator's wire thingy into the socket. And then BAM! It just exploded. And I never ever want to put a wire into any socket ever again. And with that, I don't want to touch or even go near a fire. Yes. I suck.

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I've been deciphering the codes given to me by God on what course and path I would take in college and to my future. And it seems that from Civil Engineering, I suddenly wanted International Studies instead.

It's kinda weird, to be true. I mean, all I'm interested right now is studying Geom, Chem, or Trigo and all of them has absolutely no relationship with Foreign Service or whatsoever. It's like I've been wasting my time all this time studying my butt of in these subjects and yet I won't be needing them anyway. I do suck after all.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

and the exams are finally over.

Yet I want to study again. and again. and again. and again. and again. I miss my Geometry book. I miss ALL my books. Too bad I left them ALL in my locker to be 'normal' for once.

So there.

a. English exam
-This sucks. The test is full of sequencing stuffs. The bad part in sequencing is when you even start to take the correct step, you'll still end up wrong if you go bumpy along the way. And there's this Bananas in Pajamas thing. Who would've known that THAT is the english version of turon? I mean, how many of us dips his/her turon in a chocolatey substance after cooking it, huh? Oooh. Maybe it's not even chocolate. Maybe it's crude oil. Dumbass.

b. Trigo exam
-Ahh. The only one I studied for the day before. Because you cannot always be sure that the angle you are drawing is an angle of elevation...or depression for that matter. I like Geom better. No math stuffs. Just plain proving. But Trigo is easier. I mean...wait till I talk about the Geom exam.

c. CL exam
-It's obvious that Sir Emman made that exam. It's too easy. The question you see in Test 1 will also be seen in Test 3. The question you see in Test 2, will also be seen in Test 4. So if you fail this exam..you're a...*sighs heavily*....

d. Computer exam
-I was kinda nervous for this one. I didn't study anything. Except for those logical operators that Mrs. Dupet warned us about. But the test was okay. Sort of.

e. Chemistry exam
-Now this I wasn't expecting. How many easy Chemistry exams do you see in your whole life? Just one, right? Well, thank Dmitri Mendeleev. The test didn't made me sweat, unlike the first one did. I even had extra time to doze off!

f. T.H.E. exam
-Aww mehn! This exam was full of........ Yes. haha. I invented half of all my answers in this exam. It's just soo...yes. haha

g. History exam
-It was sort of easy. Except for the manor part. I just doodled a castle and some farmlands and all sort of stuffs. I was even planning to draw a Comprachico, but I'll just save that for something else. I can't even add humor to anything because I was too nervous for the Geometry exam.

h. Geometry exam
-Okay. Here are few rituals I did before the day even started.
-prayed the rosary two times.
-sang Taking Back Sunday's MakeDamnSure and RHCP's Tell Me Baby while studying inequalities
-danced a little bit of Jamiroquai's Canned Heat while studying a bunch of theorems.

It's because I want to make up for the GREAT mistake I did in the first exam for Geometry. I don't want to be in that passing line anymore. I want to go beee-yond that line and start proving to people that I can do it. Even if it would take me to dance the whole Canned Heat in front of my parents, I goddamn will.

I was shaking like my grandma when I received the test paper. Oh yeah. How pathetic. And when Mrs. Miraflor told us to check if we have 6 pages, oh meeehn. I saw the last page with the two bold letters, STATEMENTS and REASONS. 2 pairs of 'em for 15 points. I want to bang my head in my desk, but I'm afraid people would really think that I'm a total freak.

So there. I began to answer stuffs. True...False...A...B...C..D...blah. And for the first time ever, I finished my proof with my pubes sticking out of my hair proudly.

And I would just have to wait for Tuesday or Wednesday or whatever day when I get to see the ugly result of it. Ack.

i. Filipino exam
-I just hated the poem part. I hate poems to death.


And God, I was a total loser. Monica and I just went to Ira's house and watched Eurotrip and watched some more TV shows. Nice celebration. But still. Thank you Ira and Monica for bringing my voice back. I can now sing. Like Tomika. Haha.

Friday, October 06, 2006

bleech. throwing up is heaven.

This week has been a VERY big struggle. I've been dizzy like a mad pregnant woman who is about to do labor in the next hour. It seems that God was more like telling me that going to school with your panged head will never be a good idea. Never. Except on times when you really really do need it. Like on the day of your demo or something. Whatever.

Tuesday was the HATE DAY.

It all began when we were all instructed to go down for the Morning Rites..and good Lord! I was sweating like a nympho who just had his casual sex with 67 and a half men. My head was spinning like crazy, and all I want to do is just sleep, sleep, sleep.

I mean, hello?! I was supposed to be happy on that day. I mean, we'll have Geometry as first period, and...there. Ok, so what if Geometry is the only reason I go to school? As a matter of fact, it's not only Geometry. It's Chem..or Trigo..or even History.

And it lasted ALL damn day. I even thought that I would end throwing up those chunks of food I ate yesterday(because I didn't eat anything on that day because of hardcore bullimia).

And the irony of it was Geometry made it all worse by giving me a quiz on something I can't remember, on which I ended up flunking it. 7/10 will never be good. NEVERR!

And here I present to you another pile of dilemmas..

a. I lost my I.D.. And the ID replacement Form and the principal's secretary will never be the same.

b. And exams are next week. And I still don't get that angle of depression and elevation thingy. How about me getting depressed because I can't eat? That's a 360-degree to you.

c. My mild tuberculosis is killing me like crazy. And I'm not happy that I lost my voice. I sound very much like Sir Al. In fact, I can make a good impression of him right now. Like you can hear it.

d. Bullimia. Bullimia. Bullimia.

e. To swim or not to swim? This applies to both going back to the clubhouse and doing it again but this time with Coach Rudy/Philip, or to join the Juniors Swimming Team. Okay, so the Juniors Swimming Team part may not really be all that real..but hey. It still could.

f. To be a lifter or to not be a lifter? So I'll get this really cool jacket with the word "LIFTER" on it, but I won't get to mingle with someone I know there. In fact, I would probably be a hardcore loner if I decide to be a lifter. But the jacket!! Oh no!

g. I'll surely flunk History to pieces. AAARGGH!

h. I'm still on the height of my suicidal thoughts. But the thought of the exams next week is making me throw up instead of wanting to kill myself.


And now. I have an embarassing moment to tell.

I was supposed to wait for Monica lately, but it all ended when I decided to pass by the canteen to buy a bottle of Tropicana so I can swallow up my pills(not pregnancy. like someone would even hook up on me. Nobody won't even touch me, for God's sake.). And oh-my-god. When I turned left and saw that curled up turon that's looking as if it swam in a sea of fat oil, the vomit that I've been storing up all week in my tummy had suddenly risen up to the throat level, and I have to rush to the washroom to empty my mouth up. That's so like..eew.


So there. Sorry Monica. It was a real burden to spend my way home with an artificial dinosaur and a human-ized pubic hair. At least M.S. wasn't there. If she was, 'our' parents would send us out again because we're too noisy. And still haven't got my training schedule. UNTIL NOW. haha..