Saturday, September 30, 2006

Damn You Milenyo!

It all went sooo arguably unlucky.

Let's see..

-I had asthma attacks every single day of the previous week.
-'Somebody' picked me as a leader of OUR group in the Englis demo thingy.
-And to make it more disgusting, our topic was DANCE ROUTINE.
-And to really, really, really make it more gross, we would be the first ones to present our stupid demo.
-I got sick
-And to make matters worse, my asthma got worse as Milenyo entered the Metro.
-This would've made others dance to happiness, but the 2-day suspension of classes really made me furious.

And I don't even know if I can make it on Monday, much more on Tuesday, our presentation day.

Seriously, I want to be obilierated.

I WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE!!!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Learn to live with it.

Okay. It took me a week to get over my grades. And just like a friend told me, be contended with them, because not all 3rd year students get an average as high/low like that. I dunno if I'll kill her, or I'll go shitty again.

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This week was a total mayhem. Projects are starting to hang under our noses again, and signs of insomnia are here to stay.

And, before we all realize it, exams is there waiting around the corner, plotting to assassinate us all.

I'm not sure about my performance this quarter. I've focused too much in Geometry that I forgot to there are other subjects as well. Oh well, too damn bad that my angst for the Mango was well off gone last Sunday while I was hearing mass.

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Everytime I hear the song Always by Atlantic Starr, the February prom starts popping my brains out. I don't have a date. No fucking joke. And too bad I'm too fat to find one.

I don't know what my problem is. If I crash diet all the way till next year, I'll just end up getting even fatter. If I exercise whenever I have time, I'll end up missing topics in Geometry and other subjects. If I stop taking steroids, I'll die in a minute.

Which leads me to my another problem. After the smoking thoughts, here comes another addition to the Curiosity and Depression series, Suicidal thoughts.

I've been thinking about this one during English class last Monday, and here are the few question and answers that's been stomping my brain like crazy.

Q: Why commit suicide?

A:
-I'll never get a good future anyway
-I'm dumb as a person can get
-I'm useless
-I'm fat
-I'm boring as the --- teacher can get.
-I'm always reckless
-Nobody loves me.
-Nobody REALLY loves me.
-Even God hates me.
-Even God's God hate me
-I'm pessimistic
-I'm sadistic
-I'm impatient
-I'm not a very open-minded person
-My parents even think I'm useless.
-I'm useless, meaning without any wit nor function
-I hate people, because they suck.
-I'm sinful than you think I am
-I'm a useless friend, because I backstab them when I think everyone hates me, which is everytime.
-I'm uber sensitive
-I don't respect anyone, even the higher persons
-I'm a loser.

Q: Why not?
A:
-it'll make my parents sad

-God won't accept me, even if I say sorry 182,829,672, 902 billion times.

-it'll just make matters worse. Like terrorism will be so common that it would be considered a religion or something. Like that would ever happen. I don't even exist in the naked eye.

-it won't solve any of my problems anyway. Just other's problems concerning me, I guess. I know that they won't really feel guilty that I comitted suicide. They hate me so much that they probably won't even notice it.


So it's obvious that I should commit suicide. I mean, you won't even get sad if I do. You probably would find it a relief or something.

Oh well. I'm gonna go shopping for knives tomorrow.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

It sucked.

I got my card yesterday.

Normally I would just shrug it off while my mom lectures me on the way out. But no.

I didn't shrug it off. I cried the hell out of it. Especially the grade I got in my favorite subject ever, Geometry. Imagine me wailing like a kid. It's disgusting, I know.

You guys probably know that feeling you get when you didn't get what you expected. It's like your whole world suddenly crashed, and you sad as hell. And all you want is filthy justice for it.

I expected that my grades in Geometry would at least go beyond that 85 line. But noooooooooo. It seemed that my Periodical Test helped to make it as low as possible. Now I wouldn't get to Mapua or even UP College of Engineering at this state.

I instantly got a change of mind in the career I would choose. From my plans of taking up Civil Engineering in college, I immediately shifted into going for either I.T. or Early Childhood Education. It seemed that I ran out of possible courses when I saw that stupid Geometry grade typed in that filthy paper they call 'card'.

And everytime I think that I would never be a successful engineer , those students who probably got a much much much higher grade than me in Geometry would probably be.

Because they're not pathetic and as paranoid as me.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Reminiscents and...Hi Elen!

It's more than obvious that I can't sleep due to severe excitement for the releasing of cards tmorrow. It's a natural. I can't stop asking people if they would come tomoorow with their parents to get their cards...and..and..all I got was blank stares.

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Ookay...let's reminisce.

I loove reminiscing. It's the answer to the world's questions.

Yes. Look back at your past.

Let me tell you one reminiscent I won't regret reminiscing.

1. When I was still in grade school, I had a boy seatmate. It's pretty much not a big deal, since the chances of me having a boy as my seatmate is pretty high, since there are more boys than girls in my elementary school. And on our first week of being seatmates, we became friends..not just friend friends..but close friends. And on the second week, he began telling me that he wants to tell me something. And everytime I ask what the hell it is, he keeps telling me that I might get mad at him.

Then came that day when he gave me this thick folded paper with my name written on it. I opened it, and read what's in it. And, the next thing I knew, I teared up the paper to pieces and throwed the pieces at his face. He was red as an apple. And you wanna know what was written on the paper?

Honestly, you won't believe it.

"Lorraine,(back then the spelling of my name was double 'r', until later on it was changed to single 'r' and double 'n' because that's the spelling of my name that's officially written on my passport. You should get this by now.) crush kita.....*insert a heart drawn by a 4th grader here*"

Hard to take it, eh? But I'm not joking. Ask the boy himself. His name is Jan Dominic Radovan, and he's now a Junior studying at PCC.

I don't even know what made him feel that something towards me.

Or maybe I do.

Or maybe not.

Because when I was still in 4th grade, I was not fat nor skinny nor chubby nor anything else that I am now.

But I was not a girly-girl. Or maybe I was not even a girl. I was athletic and studious at the same time. I don't do things with girls. Instead, I play kickball with boys. Laugh with them. Study with them. Or even play jackstones with them. How threatening.

I think that was my infamous technique to get close and maybe even closer to one of my crushes. But still.

And here's the grand finale.

After tearing the paper out, I replied to him: "Dun mo ibigay sa mga taga-row 1 yan. ma-aapreciate pa nila!"

Because almost all of the girls was seated on the 1st row, and me, as obviously not a girl, was seated on the 4th row, where nerds and dorks volt in.

That's where I learned and immediately proved that BRAIN really does conquer all.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Inseperable means nothing.

All of you guys probably know by now that I'm a math freak, and I believe that cells does not make me up. Instead, numbers and equations and variables and Einstein's hair does.

I know this is has become very tiring, but my Geometry book and I are very inseperable. VERY.

I'm gonna go prove it to you.

Given: a geom book, and a fat turd
Prove: the fat turd and the geom book will be best friends forever

Statements:

1. A geom book, and a fat turd
2. a fat turd=KUMON
3. KUMON=Math stuffs
4. Math stuffs=Geometry
5. Geometry=Geometry book (and let's involve the MANGO for a record)
6. the fat turd and the geom book will be best friends forever

Reasons:

1. Given
2. Definition of Nerdness
3. Definition of Advancement Centers
4. Congruent subjects/topics
5. Common Sense
6. Boredom

so there.

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This past week was not really good. Our class ended up having only 3 classes of Geometry, but 3 periods of T.H.E. And let me the first to assure you that it sucked.

I kept figuring out ways on how to stop studying. Yes, I'm a very studyholic person that studies EVERY subject for no reasons. I tried leaving every school-related things to my locker, but instead I almost bought a Geometry book in the bookstore. Tch. I bought a coloring book to stop being such a boring, old nerd.

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I have much-awaited surprise for myself.

I'm not gonna go anti-social.

But just this once.

Why?

Like duh. I so need a prom date.

R is in the past, and like evrything else, I can't possibly get him as a prom date. So now, I'm on the lookout for one.

Why not go stag?

I'm confident enough to know that I will be able to find myself a date. I'm not that fat, that ugly, and that boring(although I may seem to be sometimes). And Proms are pretty much the much-awaited social event in high school. Why not go with it with someone for a good memory when you grow up? Everything is a sentimental value for me. Ha-ha. Like those strips of paper I got in the 'The Girl Most Likely To Be...' activity in Homeroom.

And yeah. that's probably much all that worth typing for.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Rai Rai Weh.

Today was a very provocative day. But first, let me just tell you what happened this past few days.

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Nothing.


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Okay. Let's get down to business.

To everyone's relief, classes went *POOF* in an instant. Thanks to the teacher's immersion scheduled today, all of us high school students are expected to relax and unwind oursleves with our long weekend start.

The maid actually didn't know that we don't have classes today, and she ended up shaking our sleeping bodies, shouting"Tanghali na! Huy! gising na!". And I ended up watching Katie Couric on ET again.

After several hours of making myself such a dork in hopelessly trying to wake myself up just to finish All-American Girl on time, my eyes solemnly gave up. Dropped the book, thinked of J, and suddenly squashed myself into Discworld while the sandman is having the time of his life pounding tons of sand in my eyes.

After I woke up in a few hours, I hurriedly bathed and dressed up for my plan later, which is to go out with Rica and Ayu and Bianca and etc. I was very much ready at exactly 12:00 am and was waiting for my mom to prepare herself or something.

And after 732197291 million lightyears, I finally got myself unto the land of turd, Megamall. I hurriedly went to the Cinemas to get myself a Devil Wears Prada ticket to catch myself up on the threesome who have already went inside due to boredom in waiting for me. Or waiting for my mom. Or waiting for God. Or whatever.


If it weren't for the fact that I've read the Devil Wears Prada ages ago, I wouldn't understand a single word in the movie. I came right into the climax part. Oh Yeaaah. Good part. And I seriously didn't enjoy the movie. I would've had more fun if we watched 'Sukob' or in much cheesier circumstances, 'You Are The One'. pffbt.

Here goes the meaty part.

We went to Rai Rai Ken afterwards to have something that made sense into our stomachs rather than the popcorn that's making our stomachs really upset. After ordering..waiting...and stuff...this waiter that looked like as if he was the one who makes the sushis and makis all the way came with our drinks. Funny, I thought. Waiters are just supposed to dump drinks on table, not ask and point THE DRINKS to the person whoever owns the drink. Ayu's Bianca's and Mine were handed out pretty good. But in Rica's case, oh men. The waiter should've knew well than to doubt Rica if she really owns the green drink. Turns out that THAT drink was for the person sitting after our table, and yes, they made Rica wait for her drink. And the pointless point of all, uhh..I dunno. HA.

And, after eating and eating, and the upsetting bills were about to be settled, the stupid waiter came again. But this time, he was the one who's supposed to get our paid bill or something. I dunno about YOUR experiences, but waiters aren't supposed to examine and especially COMMENT on how outstanding your bill was. Like anybody wil ever give you credit if you do that.

Okay, let me tell you what the stupid waiter did. After Bianca handed this thick thingy were our precious bills were clipped unto, he examined it and gave us a VERY surprised expression. And then he said.."Ay! Ang laki naman ng bill nyo! Ang lalakas nyo kumain ahh!". And guess what he did next.



Oh My Freaking Gawd.



He suddenly patted my shoulder, which to my surprise, led for him to repeat his last sentence which is,"ang lalakas nyo kumain ahhh!". My face is all screwed up, and I was all flabbersgated in what HE did. And please, don't like pretend that you don't know the significance of that shoulder-pat incident. And then he held up his hand and said."jok lang! Isang bagsak nga dyan!", which made me AND Rica want to throw up everything we ate at that Freak Restaurant.


I. Will. Never. Ever. Eat. At. Rai. Rai. Ken. Ever. Again.




ooh.. Except when they do this dare in t3 where you have to eat Rai Rai Ken's very big makis 4 at a time, and I'll succesfully win my baby, MacBook Pro.



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I went to Podium afterwards with my mom and 2 brothers to buy new books to splurge my time on. I mean, come on. I REALLY know better than to finish that Geometry book that's always hidden benath my wildest dreams.

As I entered the bookstore, it struck me that I will buy a fiction book that's not mushy, nor sexually-aggreviated. It really hit me last week when I finshed Digital Fortress that I should read more of this mystery/thriller things rather than getting VERY twisted in kilig in stupid books like The Princess Diaries. Like Mia Thermopolis and Michael Moscovitz didn't made my pants on fire. Hell yeah.

After an hour of searching and searching....I first ended up with this book called 'Love Handles of Lord Vishnu', but suddenly saw this very related-to-my-life book in the dark corners of the shlef, stomped by senseless romantic books like 'Tight' and 'Porno'[hmm..]. That book was 'Conversations with the Fat Girl' by Liz Palmer. Woah. Can you be more actual than this?

I bought my sister this new book by Sophie Kinsella, called 'The Undomestic Goddess", which is much more like Shopaholic. Duh, like look at the author, dumbass.

I also bought Bob Ong's latest book, which I've been very planning to buy since last year, called 'Stainless Longganisa'. Talk about a bookworm, I'm feeling like I'm one. Well, not the Sir Al bookworm type. That's too worm-ish. Imagine yourself ending up buying 4 books just because you can't find this book you're looking for ages. I'll just walk out of the bookstore instead, or buy myself a Mini Clipper.

Currently reading on: Valence Electrons(You'd probably think I would read on those books I bought, but nooo. I ended up reading on stupid electrons instead. Cruel, cruel world.)
Currently listening on: Chamillionare
Currently feeling: Bloated and Thirsty. God I want a Coke, but I'm in this no-Coke-or-any-other-soda diet ever since my soda-addicted-and-ended-up-diabetic uncle was rushed to the hospital. Geez.